Indonesian weddings are different. The day before, the bride is given a ceremonial bath by close female friends and relatives from her and her husband's family. The water has flowers (I believe jasmine is the flower of choice) floating in it and is poured over her.
The actual wedding is a religious ceremony but is usually only for close family and friends, most of the social focus is on the reception. A small wedding reception will have about 250 guests. Big ones run into thousands. Basically you just invite everyone you've ever met.
The format varies from ethnic group to ethnic group but the basic model goes something like this. As a guest you don't have to arrive at the beginning of the reception, but if you don't you'll miss all the ceremonial bits. There's usually a line of up of members of each family to greet you and collect the present (in Jakarta the present is usually money, but in other places people do still give presents). There's a guest book for you to sign and you get a small souvenir (a notepad with the couple's names on the front, a small pot, or something like that).
The couple and their parents (or stand-ins for deceased parents) arrive in procession and sit on thrones (much too grand to just be called chairs) on a sort of dais at the front. Performers give traditional dances (for people from S. Sumatra the bride dances in public for the one and only time in her life). The couple kneel before each set of parents to thank them for their upbringing, and then feed each other with a handful of rice. Javanese and Sundanese then have the egg ceremony. The groom steps on and breaks an egg and the bride then washes his feet. The couple then sit back down on their thrones and you line up to shake hands with and congratulate the parents on both sides and the couple. Latecomers do this when they arrive. Once you have done that, you can go and get something to eat from a buffet meal laid out (these meals are usually excellent). While eating, you keep your ears cocked for the photo calls. An MC will call up various groups to be photo'd with the couple. "And now could we have the bride's classmates from elementary school." (This is not an exaggeration).
Clothes vary from ethnic group to ethnic group but the bride and female guests usually wear a flimsy blouse called a kebaya and a very tight sarong. They wear their hair in a bun (and get a wig if their hair isn't long enough). The bride wears special make up which is supposed to represent shadows from foliage on her face. She also has a tiara with lots of waving dangly bits. The groom wears a batik shirt,a jacket and a sarong. Male members of the family wear the same and carry a kris in a sheath at their backs. Members of each family all have the same pattern on their sarong. Male guests wear batik shirts, and ordinary trousers.
Bingley
