The Rite of Elevation to Poohbahdom
In the spirit of the character alluded to in the opening scene of GBS' play The Apple Cart, who was a professional ritualist and who died when marooned on a remote island where there was nothing artificial, I suggest a few notes for the mysterious rite:
The candidate for the Exalted Grandiosity of Poohbah is escorted down the aisle of the Abbey by the Hierophant (the senior Exalted Poohbah), both accoutred in white tie and tails (irrespective of gender), and doing the penguin walk to the strains of I Was Glad When They Said Unto Me, reaching the chancel just as the choir reaches the middle section, where the Westminster Boys Choir sings, "Vivat! Vivat! Vivat Pu-Ba [name]!" The candidate is led to the throne, which is made from a special edition of the OED in one double-folio-size volume and assisted to sit upon it. The Archimandrite of Linguistics (currently the Most Ven. Anu Garg) solemnly reads out a list of the new Poohbah's postings, after which a trumpet fanfare is blown to wake up the audience. The A.L. then anoints the P.B. with snake oil on the lips, tongue, ears, and writing hand, and proclaims him/her duly installed in the Exalted Grandiosity, after which all AWADers of lesser rank come forward and kowtow. The new EPB then reads aloud a special posting composed for the occasion, which should be not less than 50,000 words. After various other ceremonies which can not be described to the profane, and the ceremony concluded, all AWADers repair to the chosen dining facilty for an elaborate supper, the high point of which is a baloney carried in on a tray with much fanfare whilst The Jabberwock is recited.
