Here's a list that some of y'all may have seen; it made the E-mail circuit not too long ago:

http://www.quoteland.com/quotes/leisure/translations.html

I'm particularly partial to "When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor."
-From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo