Dee, the very tall bride, towered over her new husband, Jay, whom she first met via the local "meet a guy line." She radiated beauty and confidence in her strapless gown with the push-up bra, in which she was quite comfortable thanks to its wireless technology. The groom could afford only an unprofessionally crafted wedding ring and was somewhat ashamed to place this amateur band on his lovely bride's finger, but at least it slipped on with little resistance. In fact, the ring was so large that it was on, off, on, off, and eventually persistently on. The bit was done when he finally found the proper digital extremity and at last these two zeroes were one. The church was filled to capacitance but later at the reception, speaking of ringing, gay friends of the happy couple were dismayed to learn that food was restricted to heterodyners. Ironically, all who partook of the stereotypical wedding cake came down with classical mono, something rarely contracted at events of this format. The kids in attendance were rocking and rolling which shocked the adult contemporaries of the couple's parents who rapped loudly on their tables to drown out the DJ, much to the dismay of the younger folk. On the flip side, a big hit at the reception was the unusual on-line photo display which proved to be a successful album alternative. One of the jazzier gifts included a lovely crystal set which shattered when the bride tried out her new microwave as the crystal apparently was designed to be used only in gas ovens fired by LP. Recordings of the party documented continued woes as later, enroute to their honeymoon suite, all the luggage fell out of their pickup, remote as that seems, apparently due to a lost carrier. Noone could remember a celebration with so many miscues of such magnitude and frequency.
In the privacy of their honeymoon cocoon, the groom, a NASCAR fan partial to big engines, presented his bride with a unique piece of jewelry for her pierced ear -- a tiny replica of of a 426 cu. in. hemi motor. Unfortunately, the stud of his jewel was a bit too large for the opening in her lobe and, alas, the sheets were bloodied by his faulty engine earring.
Even today, it still hertz them to think about it.
