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The Anagram Times

Archives: 2007 & earlier

Times square New Year's gala turns 100

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Dec 31, 2007

Times square New Year's gala turns 100
New Years eve in New York City = NY: Every ones wacky, we're in it!
(by Rodney Koodray Jr)

Bhutto's son maintains political dynasty
Bhutto's son maintains her political dynasty = Toll: continuation, stays behind his Ma's party
(by Pinchas Aronas)


Dec 30, 2007

Another Bhutto in Pakistan
Another Bhutto in Pakistan = Think about, ain't her son apt?
(by Aronas Pinchas)

Kenya candidate claims rigging in vote
Kenya candidate claims rigging in vote = Raila Odinga is making decency vetting
(by Aronas Pinchas)

New England 38, NY Giants 35
New England Patriots = Neat top winners glad
(by Aronas Pinchas)


Dec 29, 2007

Bin Laden issues warning on Iraq, Israel
Bin Laden issues warning on Iraq and Israel = No grins, Al-Qaida ensures asinine blind war
(by Aronas Pinchas)

Opposition claims victory in Kenya
Opposition leader Raila Odinga = O pal, I no 'A liar', I 'A good president'!
(by Aronas Pinchas)

Europe Shocked, Angry at Bhutto Killing
Europe shocked, angry at Bhutto killing = Then bloody slaughter irking to EU pack?
(by Mark McNamara)


Dec 28, 2007

Sean and Robin Wright Penn into the splitsville
Sean and Robin Wright Penn = Now end in partner bashing?
(by Rodney Koodray Jr)

Amy Winehouse summoned to Norwegian court
Amy Winehouse = New! I shame you?
(by Rodney Koodray Jr)

Miss France keeps crown after photo controversy
Miss France Valerie Begue = A 'bemire' vulgar scenes. Fie!
(by Aronas Pinchas)


Dec 27, 2007

'Foolproof' security failed Bhutto
Foolproof security failed Bhutto = Double police or shot at fifty-four
(by Mark McNamara)

Benajir Bhutto Assassinated
They did shoot and/or blow her up this morning = In hindsight Bhutto downplayed some horror
(by Rain Barclift)

Mishca Barton busted
Mishca Barton busted = Uh? Sitcom star nabbed
(by Rodney Koodray Jr)

Democrats Enter Stretch in Iowa
Democrats enter stretch in Iowa = Rats, some wretched interaction!
(by Aronas Pinchas)

Surviving girl evacuated in Panama crash
Francesca Lewis = Carcass? New life!
(by Aronas Pinchas)


Dec 26, 2007

Russia launches final satellites for its own GPS
Russia launches final satellites for its own GPS = Follows unrest in US; classifies this a great plan?
(by Rodney Koodray Jr)

Yung Joc Skips Court Date
Yung Joc skips court date = Angry jest? Stupid cuckoo!
(by Rodney Koodray Jr)

Tom Coughlin's job likely safe
Tom Coughlin's Job Likely Safe = Giants jock's yell: Ooh I fumble
(by Rodney Koodray Jr)

Escaped tiger kills man at San Francisco Zoo
Escaped tiger kills man in S.F. Zoo = King-size animal left sod-corpse
(by Aronas Pinchas)

Nepal resumes search for missing in bridge collapse
The search resumes for hundreds missing in Nepal bridge collapse = People (sirs, females and children) rush in crossing, submerge... DEATH.
(by Aronas Pinchas)

Last-minute buyers give retailers relief
Last minute shoppers = Hapless spurt, no time!
(by Aronas Pinchas)


Dec 25, 2007

Three Canadians injured in blast
Improvised Explosive Device = Implied Civvies Overexposed
(by Tony Stanton)

Obama now trails only Clinton
Barack Obamas up in the pollings = Poll sum got back his ripe banana
(by Rain Barclift)

Blacks Shift To Obama, Poll Finds
Barack Obama's up in the pollings = Black man boasting he is popular
(by Rain Barclift)

Brady, Moss Close in As Pats Go to 15-0
A perfect season is in their sights = This is seeing Patriots fans cheer
(by Rain Barclift)


Unpaid Credit Cards Bedevil Americans
Dec 24, 2007

Visa, Master, Amex or Discover card = Savor more via creditcard's maxes
(by Rain Barclift)


At least 5 dead in Plains, Midwest storm
Dec 23, 2007

At least five dead in the Plains, Midwest storm = Disaster 'tamps' with violent demise, fatal end
(by Aronas Pinchas)


IOC president Jacques Rogge calls for tougher doping stance
Dec 22, 2007

IOC president calls for tougher doping stance = No! Rogge found steroids can cripple athletics
(by Mark Mcnamara)


Asteroid on track for possible Mars hit
Dec 21, 2007

Asteroid on track for possible Mars hit = Folks ID photo, Orbiter scares Martians
(by Rodney Koodray Jr)


Time names Putin Person of the Year
Dec 20, 2007

Time names Putin Person of the Year = Yippee! Neat moment for the Russian
(by Mark McNamara)


Dec 19, 2007

Roger 'Rocket' Clemens strongly denies allegations by his ex-trainer
Okay Roger Clemens used Steroids = Rocket easily endorses some drug
(by Rodney Koodray Jr)

Israel pledges more airstrikes in Gaza
Israel pledges more airstrikes in Gaza = Israelis dogmatize, spare general risk
(by Aronas Pinchas)


Anchorwoman arrested
Dec 18, 2007

Anchorwoman arrested = One hard warrant comes
(by Rodney Koodray Jr)


New winter storm bears down on Northeast
Dec 17, 2007

New winter storm bears down on Northeast = THE SNOW, snow and more bitter errant snow
(by Aronas Pinchas)


New Orleans to Bulldoze Housing
Dec 16, 2007

New Orleans to Bulldoze Housing = Uh, no US obsolete lowland zinger
(by Andy Bock)


Chris Evert and Greg Norman get engaged
Dec 15, 2007

Chris Evert and Greg Norman engaged = Changed grand rings over agreement
(by Aronas Pinchas)


Plant, Not Zeppelin, Tourning in May
Dec 14, 2007

Robert Plant = Partner bolt
(by Rodney Koodray Jr)

Baseball under the microscope
Baseball drugs = Bad ball surges
(by Rodney Koodray Jr)


Nearly 95 percent of email is junk: US Web security firm
Dec 13, 2007

Nearly 95 percent of the email sent in 2007 has been spam = Terrible anathemas seen on any finest PC. Help me!
(by Aronas Pinchas)


Argentina's first elected female president takes over from husband
Dec 11, 2007

Cristina Fernandez of Argentina = An after-Nestor, defining Czarina


Profile of a killer: Robert Hawkins
Dec 8, 2007

Robert Hawkins = Broken wraiths
(by Aronas Pinchas)


Oprah Winfrey could help Obama draw women voters from Clinton
Dec 8, 2007

Oprah's big program in Iowa = Obama gain grip prior show
(by Rain Barclift)


Nine dead in Nebraska mall shooting
Dec 7, 2007

Nine dead in Nebraska mall = Mad, bane and insane killer
(by Aronas Pinchas)


Omaha Shooting
Dec 6, 2007

Mass murderer Robbie Hawkins = O, we run! A 'BBRRR...' His AK missed me!
(by Polly Orchid)


Venezuela Vote Sets Roadblocks on Chavez Path
Dec 5, 2007

Exit polls suggest win for Chavez? = Venezuela's gig, splotch, worst fix
(by Aronas Pinchas)


New Reality TV Show: 'Who Wants to Marry a U.S. Citizen'; love knows no borders...
Dec 4, 2007

New reality TV show = Wives let way north
(by Rain Barclift)


Sudan pardons 'teddy bear' row teacher
Dec 3, 2007

President Omar al-Bashir = P.S. Arab is a modern Hitler
(by Aronas Pinchas)


Death toll for Iraqis falls again
Dec 3, 2007

Death toll for Iraqis falls again = Al Qaida losers ain't fight for ALL
(by Aronas Pinchas)


Snow and ice hit Midwest; 3 dead
Dec 2, 2007

Snow and ice hit Midwest; three dead = Nice white storm wasted? Had, indeed!
(by Aronas Pinchas)


Lawmakers reach gas mileage boost deal
Dec 2, 2007

Dems reach deal on energy bill = Headlines roll bad emergency
(by Aronas Pinchas)


British teacher jailed for naming a teddy bear Muhammad
Dec 1, 2007

Teacher Gillian Gibbons = Icon slighting bearable?


Suspect in trouble before hostage drama
Dec 1, 2007

Suspect in trouble before hostage drama = L. Eisenberg spoofs that Democrat-bureau
(by Aronas Pinchas)


Bush urges additional AIDS money
Nov 30, 2007

Bush urges additional AIDS money = Mind out disease or badly anguish!
(by Aronas Pinchas)


Announcement of Annapolis Conference
Nov 28, 2007

The Annapolis conference = Chance for Palestine? None!
(by Aronas Pinchas)


Bush says Mideast peace talks worth the risks
Nov 27, 2007

Bush says Mideast peace talks worth the risks = Such shaky worthless debates is trap, mistake
(by Aronas Pinchas)


English football coach fired
Nov 24, 2007

Steve Mclaren Sacked = Reckless Men Vacated
(by Rajesh Sukhija)


Retail Desperation on Display in Early Hours
Nov 23, 2007

Holiday Shopping Season = Hyping Had Passion Loose
(by Frank Hale)


New research converts skin cells into stem-cells
Nov 21, 2007

Stem-cell discovery = Recycled most lives


Human Error Cited in California Oil Spill of the merchant vessel Cosco Busan
Nov 12, 2007

The Cosco Busan = Ouch! Can't be! SOS!


New England Patriots accused of running up the score
Nov 6, 2007

New England Patriots = Wantoned plastering


Congress likely to override vetoes when pork's on the line
Nov 5, 2007

United States House of Representatives = The idiots pass no revenue-free statutes
(by Dennis Kaufman)


Lawyer: Son sold father's N-word tape
Nov 2, 2007

Chapman is betrayed by son's sale = As 'manly' racist debases by phone
(by Rain Barclift)


Ireland's tallest tower in Dublin To Be Named After Band U2
Oct 31, 2007

Dublin pop star wants to honor self = Bono flaunts this tower, Drop plans!
(by Rain Barclift)


Magician David Copperfield accused of assault
Oct 30, 2007

Magic failed to make it disappear = A magi at mistake, aid Copperfield
(by Rain Barclift)


Chertoff Rips Phony Homeland Press Event
Oct 29, 2007

FEMA stages phony news conference = Mangey offense, now chasten creeps


Sudan Declares Cease-Fire at Darfur Peace Talks
Oct 28, 2007

Sudan cease-fire = Audiences safer


Purdue U to host Dalai Lama
Oct 26, 2007

Purdue to host Dalai Lama = To laud moralist up ahead
(by Daniel D O'Brien)


Time: Put Dumbledore Back in the Closet
Oct 23, 2007

Dumbledore gay = Duly embargoed


More than 130 killed in blast as former prime minister Bhutto returns
Oct 19, 2007

Bhutto returns to Pakistan = Saboteurs taunt pink troth


Obesity deadlier than smoking
Oct 17, 2007

Obese at more risk than smokers = Has smoker beat in more strokes
(by Rain Barclift)


Founder of Chinmoy Mission dies of heart attack
Oct 16, 2007

Sri Chinmoy is dead = Eh! Mission did a cry


Nobel Prize in economics goes to the proponents of mechanism design theory
Oct 15, 2007

Mechanism Design = Is damning scheme


Al Gore wins Nobel Peace Prize
Oct 13, 2007

Albert Arnold Gore = Grrr lead to a Nobel


Doris Lessing, author of The Golden Notebook, wins Nobel Prize in literature
Oct 12, 2007

The Golden Notebook = The token Nobel? Good!


Leak severs link to al-Qaeda's secrets
Oct 9, 2007

Unknown who spilled the beans = Now the U.S. helps Bin Laden know
(by Rain Barclift)


Vandal Punches Hole in a Monet in Paris
Oct 8, 2007

They left an impression = Rips Monet in hasty flee
(by Rain Barclift)


Laughing Matters in Clinton Campaign
Oct 4, 2007

We mock Clinton's laughter = Lots now muting her cackle
(by Rain Barclift)


Report Depicts Recklessness at Blackwater
Oct 3, 2007

Blackwater USA under fire = A cursed, unfit lawbreaker


Leaders of North and South Korea meet
Oct 2, 2007

Koreas' summit = Makes tourism


Hotel Charges $14,500 for Dessert!
Sep 25, 2007

The Fortress Stilt Fisherman Indulgence = First tell them he's financing our dessert
(by Rain Barclift)


Fukuda to be the new Japanese PM
Sep 24, 2007

Prime minister Yasuo Fukuda = I am a funky, studious premier


Ken Burns's new documentry debuts
Sep 23, 2007

The War: Documentary = Came true and worthy


Russia unveils Father Of All Bombs
Sep 14, 2007

Russia tests Father Of All Bombs = Tremor as blast abolishes stuff
(by Daniel O'Brien)


Football player pleads guilty of dogfighting
Sep 3, 2007

Michael Vick to plead guilt = Evil chump ace at it (dog kill)
(by Rain Barclift)


Sachin Tendulkar misses century
Jul 25, 2007

Olden Country Star = No Century At Lord's


Mrs. Clinton Debates Wearing Pink
Jul 24, 2007

Mrs. Clinton Debates Wearing Pink = Woman-president enabling tricks
(by Rain Barclift)


World's tallest man meets the shortest
Jul 17, 2007

The Odd Couple = Held up to co-ed?
(by Rain Barclift)


Iraqi PM: US can leave at any time
Jul 16, 2007

Iraq says to get out = To say to sarge: Quit
(by Rain Barclift)


US Senate double prize on bin Laden's head
Jul 15, 2007

Raises Osama's bounty = Money sat as our basis
(by Rain Barclift)


Paris Hilton back to her former life
Jul 13, 2007

A pretty vain heiress = Envy a paris tee shirt
(Rain Barclift)


Bush: I believe we can succeed in Iraq
Jul 12, 2007

Bush News Conference Today = We debouch crafty nonsense
(Rain Barclift)


A Senator's Moral High Ground Gets a Little Shaky
Jul 12, 2007

Escorting Vitter = Striving to erect


Anti-war protestor is active again
Jul 11, 2007

Cindy Sheehan = She achy in end
(Rain Barclift)


Intense heat wave hits Western U.S.
Jul 9, 2007

Hot western weather sets record = Wretched heat enters, worse rots
(Christine DeSimone)


Xbox Repairs Cost $1 billion; Microsoft shares drop
Jul 8, 2007

XBox mistakes cost Gates = Gismo setback taxes stox
(Christine DeSimone)


President spares Libby from prison
Jul 7, 2007

Libby escapes prison term = By oppressible miscreant


Study finds men talk as much as women
Jul 6, 2007

Men cannot shut up either = Mouth penchant reunites


Perjury charges hit supervisor
Jul 2, 2007

Supervisor Ed Jew = Ed vows perjuries


iPhone commanding premium price
Jul 1, 2007

iPhone craze = Haze on price


Michael Moore's new film is released
Jun 30, 2007

SiCKO documentary = Mockery and coitus


Web radio broadcasters protest against royalty hike
Jun 27, 2007

Day of Silence = Deafen cosily


Paris Hilton is released from the jail
Jun 26, 2007

Hilton freed = Rid the felon


Bush vetoes stem-cell research bill
Jun 20, 2007

Stem-cell bill vetoed = Cells' move belittled


Today is Father's Day
Jun 17, 2007

Father's day celebrated = Hereby flatter dads: Ace!


Fake toothpaste recalled
Jun 15, 2007

Fake Colgate toothpaste = Cheapskate to get a lot of


The Sopranos finale airs
Jun 14, 2007

Sopranos ends = Snoops snared


Paris Hilton back in jain after a brief release for medical problems
Jun 10, 2007

Paris Hilton in gaol = Altho' ailing, prison


Scientists turn mouse skin into stem cells
Jun 9, 2007

Mouse stem cell = Muscle omelets


Hilton let go from prison
Jun 8, 2007

Paris Hilton released = Hotels, airplane rides!


Bush and Putin discuss missile-defense
Jun 7, 2007

Bush-Putin deal = Hasten buildup?


Paris Hilton begins her jail sentence
Jun 4, 2007

Paris Hilton check-in = Prison? Ah, let chick in!


One of the Top 10 spammers nabbed
Jun 2, 2007

Robert Alan Solway = Reasonably low art


Creation Museum opens in Kentucky
Jun 1, 2007

Creationist museum opens = An emcee monist sours it up
(David J. Schwartz)


Coca-Cola buys Vitaminwater
May 25, 2007

Vitaminwater = I'm wet variant


Heart Attack Risk Seen in Drug for Diabetes
May 24, 2007

Avandia for diabetes? = Database infer: Avoid.


Gas prices all-time high
May 21, 2007

Gas prices highest = These piggish cars


The new Shrek sequel panned
May 19, 2007

Shrek the third = Shhh! Tired trek


Prince Harry will not go to Iraq
May 17, 2007

Prince Harry of Wales = War perils fancy hero


Chrysler bought by a private equity firm
May 16, 2007

Cerberus Capital = Replicate car, bus


Cruise Ship Runs Aground Off Alaska
May 15, 2007

Empress of the North = Oh! Refreshment Stop


Post Office to the First Amendment: Drop Dead
May 13, 2007

Postal rates rise = Assail protester


British PM to resign
May 11, 2007

Anthony Blair = Halt no brainy!


Paris Hilton campaigns for pardon from her prison sentence
May 10, 2007

Paris Hilton = I halt prison


Wolfowitz found guilty of arranging pay-raise for his girlfriend
May 9, 2007

World Bank Chief = Wolf banked rich


British queen concludes US visit
May 8, 2007

Queen visits US = Envies us; quits!


Spider-Man 3 is released
May 7, 2007

Spider-Man Three = Spin mere thread?
(Mick Tully)


Nicolas Sarkozy defeats Segolene Royal in French presidential elections
May 6, 2007

Nicholas Sarkozy = Nazi shocks Royal


Bay Area Bridge Overpass Collapses
May 1, 2007

Bay Area Rapid Transit = A trip by train, as a dare


Shooting at Virginia Tech campus
Apr 17, 2007

Virginia Tech campus = Civic US nightmare, Pa


Former Minong resident writes fort book
Apr 16, 2007

The United States of America = O, Custer's hit, in a defeat, mate!


Removalists Destroy Expensive Piano
Apr 15, 2007

Bosendorfer grand piano = So drop, anger and bonfire!


On Capitalism, Europe, and the World Bank
Apr 14, 2007

Noam Chomsky = Oh, mocks many!


Sophos to bar Second Life on work computers
Apr 13, 2007

Sophos Anti-virus = Outs rash VOIP sin


Leading Seaman Faye Turney is to sell her story
Apr 12, 2007

Leading Seaman Faye Turney is to sell her story = Yes, an ordinary female negotiates ruthlessly!


Iran enters new nuclear phase
Apr 11, 2007

Middle East arms race = Malice - desert's drama


Landlady's hair ordeal
Apr 10, 2007

Permanent hair colouring = A mop in rich ultra-green, no?


Splenda sales modestly up
Apr 9, 2007

Splenda sucralose = Scales - real pounds!


Divers seek two missing from cruise ship
Apr 8, 2007

The Sea Diamond = Deaths on media


Toxic bin fumes: drug of choice
Apr 7, 2007

Barnsley, South Yorkshire = Oh, sly! (Your trash-bins reek!)


British hostages now free
Apr 6, 2007

British hostages now free = Fighters? Obeisant shower


Son of a King
Apr 5, 2007

Author Stephen King = Gent thinks-up a hero


A Losing Battle
Apr 4, 2007

A visit to the emergency room = A move to more strict hygiene


Straight out of the top drawer
Apr 3, 2007

Claude Monet, Self Portrait = Coloured paints flatter me


Fighting resumes in Mogadishu
Apr 2, 2007

The Somali capital, Mogadishu = Hi pals, go aim held automatics


McDonald's Revives Quest To Abolish Word McJob
Apr 1, 2007

A McDonalds quarter-pounder with cheese and fries = Crowded inquest: Man's end, corpse had heart failure


Hand of God star in hospital
Mar 31, 2007

Diego Maradona = An arm? Good idea!


Iran demands Britain admit its sailors crossed border
Mar 30, 2007

Leading seaman Faye Turney = A fine lady eyes an argument


Iraq war anniversary
Mar 29, 2007

God bless America = Gas oil's embraced


Science students identify false claim by the drink manufacturer
Mar 28, 2007

GlaxoSmithKline = Oh, legal stink mix!


More than 100 dead in Russian coal mine
Mar 27, 2007

Coal Mine Disaster = Alarm! Sections die


Delays after Gatwick power fault
Mar 26, 2007

Gatwick Airport = Wait, grip cart, OK?


Soldier Recalled as Noble Person
Mar 25, 2007

Arlington National Cemetery = Cannon greet late military, no?


Belarus duplicity made clear by fresh arrests
Mar 24, 2007

President Lukashenko of Belarus = A brute flunks one's leadership, OK?


Clinton still ahead in Democrats' poll
Mar 23, 2007

Two thousand eight election = Could tie thee to Washington


Mom says it was a dog
Mar 22, 2007

Harris County Child Protective Services = Civil servants' rhetoric: 'Hi! Custody, creep!


Morgan Tsvangirai Sent to Hospital
Mar 21, 2007

President Robert Gabriel Mugabe = Empire beggar dabbles in torture


Zimbabwean opposition leader beaten
Mar 20, 2007

Morgan Tsvangirai = O! anagram striving!


London Olympics budget rises to 9.3bn
Mar 19, 2007

The London Olympic games = Logical to spend money? H'm.


White House fence climber caught
Mar 18, 2007

White House Intruder = Weirdo shut in eh? True.


St Patrick's Day celebrated around the world
Mar 17, 2007

St Patrick's Day celebrations = I sit and... ecstasy! Black porter!


Nothing Like Sun
Mar 16, 2007

William Shakespeare, The Bard of Avon = He, of silken phrase, at a live drama. Bow


School bans parents
Mar 15, 2007

Headmistress Deborah Carter = Chastise the drab dame's error


Councillors put off decision on nuclear power motion
Mar 14, 2007

Chernobyl Nuclear Power Station = A run on helicopter crews, notably


Tesco investigating petrol problems
Mar 13, 2007

Tesco petrol stations = Spot-test on oil traces


Cameron refuses to deny drug-taking at school
Mar 12, 2007

The Conservative Party Leader David Cameron = Mr Charlatanry - Ever-evasive Eton dope addict!


Making an appeal against the secondary school
Mar 11, 2007

The Department for Education and Skills = Daft kids learn, on hated Intel computers


Europe Takes the Lead in Fighting Climate Change
Mar 10, 2007

Europe Takes the Lead in Fighting Climate Change = Life: a nuke generating cheap domestic heat, light


Garuda in world's worst category
Mar 9, 2007

Garuda Indonesia Airlines = User: Oi! A dire Asian landing!


Libby Verdict Rocks the White House
Mar 8, 2007

Lewis Scooter Libby = Writs, bellicose boy!


Earthquake in Indonesia
Mar 7, 2007

Indonesian earthquake = A shaken nation queried


Illinois Senator Crosses Paths With Clinton
Mar 6, 2007

Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton = So, roll in M. Thatcher, an Iron Lady!


Veteran's Medical Center in lousy shape
Mar 5, 2007

Walter Reed Army Medical Center = Cremated direct? Lawyer, Marlene!


First total lunar eclipse in three years
Mar 4, 2007

Total eclipse of the Moon = I'm that fool on telescope!


Britain losing focus on hated speed camera
Mar 3, 2007

Safety Camera Partnerships = Refine trap. Cash-stream pays!


Local post offices overwhelmed
Mar 2, 2007

The United States Postal Service = It dispatches letters to avenues


Kiwi songbird drives animals crazy
Mar 1, 2007

Singer Hayley Westenra = Hearing a syren, sweetly


Dow dips 500 points
Feb 28, 2007

The Dow Jones Industrial Average = Jee! not devious share trading. Law?


Serbia called to account
Feb 27, 2007

Serbia called to account = A cold, Sebrenica act, lout


Prince Harry to be sent to Iraq with his regiment
Feb 26, 2007

The Blues and Royals Regiment = Enlisted Harry's on bugle, mate!


Train crashes in Lake District
Feb 25, 2007

Train crashes in Lake District = Heck! It derails cars in transit


Ireland still waiting for its first motorway services
Feb 24, 2007

Motorway Service Station = One's tray to its microwave


The car that pollutes like a truck
Feb 23, 2007

How do you double the value of a Trabant? = Vow to refuel? Ha-ha! Undoubtedly a taboo


International Post Corp. re-elects U.S. postmaster
Feb 22, 2007

Postmaster General = Regret no stamp sale


Dog groomer superglues ear after cutting it off
Feb 21, 2007

Seattle dog groomer = Motto: logs ear greed


Shuttle Atlantis Moves to Pad
Feb 20, 2007

National Aeronautics and Space Administration = I aid ace Captain. Rise, land on a moon - Saturn's Titan


Life on Mars?
Feb 19, 2007

Is there life on Mars? = Aliens? Mothers' rife!


New $1 coin announced
Feb 18, 2007

The Presidential Dollar = Head/tail? Roll it, spender!


The old fuddy-duddies have relented!
Feb 17, 2007

The Royal and Ancient Golf Club = A lunch? A bottle of clean, dry gin!


Let's be the generation that ends poverty in America
Feb 16, 2007

American poverty = I pry: Carve no meat?


Anti-Semitic group leader arrested in France
Feb 15, 2007

French anti-semites = Fine the miscreants!


Duchess of Cornwall to have a hysterectomy
Feb 14, 2007

Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, to have a hysterectomy = 'React stoutly, wife,' commands Charles. 'Heavy alcohol!'


Oil industry to tackle energy questions
Feb 13, 2007

The renewable energy industry = Hey! terribly new, sun-generated!


Gates Counters Putin's Words on U.S. Power
Feb 12, 2007

Gates Counters Putin's Words on U.S. Power = Won't cut down? Resurgent Russia opposes!


Junk Food Politics
Feb 11, 2007

Senator Barack Obama = A kebab-cartons aroma!


Hugh Hefner's tribute to Anna Nicole
Feb 10, 2007

The former Playboy centerfold Anna Nicole Smith = Her all, often in Mr Hefner's comic? Not today. Bye, Pal.


Football riot
Feb 9, 2007

Chinese Olympic football team = Claim: hit foe. Employ constable!


Aastronaut Lisa Nowak
Feb 8, 2007

Astronaut Lisa Nowak = A skirt on NASA outlaw?


Bird flu advice
Feb 6, 2007

The Food Standards Agency ~ do hydrogenated fat scans


Instead of Iraq, a battle all his own
Feb 5, 2007

Lt. Ehren Watada = Ah! war-tenet, lad?


Bird flu outbreak prompts culling
Feb 4, 2007

Bernard Matthews' turkey farm = Battery knew 'fast murder' harm


Humans blamed for climate change
Feb 3, 2007

Climate Change = Mega-technical!


Blair's legacy will be crisis management
Feb 2, 2007

Tony Blair's legacy = Obstinacy, largely
(By David Bourke)


Fenty Won't Sit With Laura Bush At Speech
Jan 31, 2007

The American First Lady, Laura Bush = I am after a cuter husband - Hillary's!


Israel suicide bombing
Jan 30, 2007

Suicide bombings = Scum, big in bodies


Tourists Ponder Loch Ness Monster's Feeding Times
Jan 29, 2007

Con-men hosts' shelter = the Loch Ness Monster!


Relief on the way for Canadian troops in Afghanistan
Jan 28, 2007

Canadian troops = A Draconian post


Zurich warns of Burns Supper risks
Jan 27, 2007

Haggis, a traditional Scottish dish = So tragic: I, a highland sadist, shot it!


Methodist Opposition to Bush Library
Jan 26, 2007

George W. Bush Presidential Library = Biography writers' bilge, under seal


State of the Union speech
Jan 25, 2007

State of the Union address = Strident tones of USA head


Date set for Diana death hearing
Jan 24, 2007

Diana, Princess of Wales = Paris? Nice, slow and safe!


The Clovis spear point
Jan 23, 2007

The Clovis spear point ~ Proves Neolithic past


Disney Royalty
Jan 22, 2007

Disney World, Florida ~ is wry Orlando fiddle


Clinton Seeks to Become First Female U.S. President
Jan 21, 2007

President Hillary Clinton = Lincoln is pretty hard-line!


Belly aches close Pingree School
Jan 20, 2007

An army marches on its stomach = Ham eh, masticators? (Many corns!)


Democrats step up battle over troops
Jan 19, 2007

Democrats step up battle over troops = Boast: detect more voters' support, pal!


Russian push for 2012 Moon shot
Jan 18, 2007

That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind ... Neil Armstrong = The moon is made of green Parmesan! Martian folk start planning stall, no?


Another botched execution
Jan 17, 2007

Another botched execution = O, toothache cured! Be next in?


Chewing gum to tackle obesity
Jan 16, 2007

Obesity-busting gum = Suggestion I'm tubby?


The Mexican tortilla famine
Jan 15, 2007

The Mexican tortilla famine = Exit - California lament them


Paramount chief resigns after less than two years
Jan 14, 2007

Paramount Pictures = A pun: Part, Tom Cruise?


Cocaine traces on every note tested
Jan 13, 2007

Nose narcotic? = Snort cocaine!


Borat film nominated for award
(by Ross Jones)
Jan 12, 2007

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan = Film, full of taboos broken on camera, agitates Kazak national furor, anger, hurt... Is nice.


Bush announces troop escalation
Jan 11, 2007

Troop escalation = A clot's operation!


Obese dogs to get diet pills
Jan 10, 2007

The canine diet medicine Slentrol = Demo indicates thinner clientele


New York probes gas-like odor
Jan 9, 2007

Gas smell alert in New York = Wager all smelt in Yonkers!


Bristol International Airport closed
Jan 8, 2007

Bristol International Airport = Pilots abort in torrential rain


Boy sails into the record books
Jan 6, 2007

A schoolboy sails the Atlantic = Boat's (he calls yacht) isolation


Seatbelt warning was given, say National Expres
Jan 5, 2007

National Express Coaches = Exceptional crash season


Passenger fears Heathrow baggage chaos
Jan 4, 2007

British Airports Authority = Abhor it! Hairy tourist trips


Mobile phone captures Iraq's cruelty
Jan 3, 2007

Mobile camera phones = Enable rope machismo


Farewell to Ford
Jan 2, 2007

American Ex-President Gerald Ford = Great dreams! (Replaced fired Nixon)


US death toll in Iraq reaches three thousand
Jan 1, 2007

US death toll in Iraq reaches three thousand = United States' rear HQ: A Hell huh? Decorations!


Saddam Hussein is executed
Dec 31, 2006

Saddam Hussein is executed = A US suit-mix, as he descended


All is fair in love and war
Dec 30, 2006

The Liberal Democrat Party = Hear a Lembit - Protractedly!


Six dead in Morecambe Bay crash
Dec 29, 2006

Morecambe Bay helicopter crash = Bob, eh? Come, search-party miracle


Saddam to hang at torture jail
Dec 28, 2006

Saddam Hussein's death sentence = See status dashed. Eichmann's end


Man sets self on fire to protest school move
Dec 24, 2006

Season's greetings = Easter eggs in, sons


NASA continues work on the International Space Station
Dec 23, 2006

The International Space Station = I train that telescope on NASA tin


British Airways Cancels Heathrow Flights Amid Fog
Dec 22, 2006

London Heathrow Airport = On halt: a dew-point horror


Bishop of Southwark denies being drunk
Dec 21, 2006

Bishop of Southwark = Oh sup's worth a fib OK?


Astronauts busy on the space station
Dec 20, 2006

The International Space Station = Threat: alien attentions, so panic!


Diaz Execution Raises Questions
Dec 19, 2006

Botched lethal injection = Job: to Hell! (Ethnic can't die...)


Theories thrive after defector's death
Dec 18, 2006

A Russian defector = Fate: rads, curies no?


Obesity epidemic in America
Dec 17, 2006

The United States of America = Cut meat! If not, heart disease


Mengistu found guilty of genocide
Dec 16, 2006

Mengistu Haile Mariam = Guilt. Aim: erase him, man!


Bishop not mugged
Dec 15, 2006

The Bishop of Southwark = To "Shhh!" if bar sot woke up


In death, Pinochet escapes justice
Dec 14, 2006

General Augusto Pinochet = Argue not, Chilean pegs-out!


The 420 mile gaffe
Dec 13, 2006

The London Ambulance Service = Bill doc on Manchester avenue


Obesity epidemic in America
Dec 12, 2006

United States of America = Dine out, taste a Mac, fries


Moscow freeze on poison inquiry
Dec 11, 2006

The Russian President = Putin hears dissenter


Pinochet was minutes from death, son says
Dec 10, 2006

General Augusto Pinochet = Altogether sanguine coup


Radiation poisoning inquiry ongoing
Dec 9, 2006

President of the Russian Federation = Sneer? Heed Putin's radiation efforts!


Flatulence leads jet to divert
Dec 8, 2006

Flatulence forces plane to divert = One farted feculent, evil crap. Lots!


Water on Mars!
Dec 7, 2006

We've found water on Mars, scientists say = Wise surface navy's wet demonstrations


Police will quiz Blair over 'cash for honours' affair
Dec 6, 2006

Scotland Yard's Operation Ribble = Tribe's paid loan - Baronetcy; Lords!


Re-elected by wide margin, Chavez promises more radical turn towards socialism
Dec 5, 2006

Re-elected by wide margin, Chavez promises more radical turn towards socialism = Caracas, Venezuela: President Commie Bore draws crowd. (Military soldiers' might)


World's oldest record shop in the death grip of a developer
Dec 4, 2006

Spillers Record Shop = Prosper, or discs' hell?


Castro's absence raises more questions
Dec 3, 2006

Fidel Castro's birthday = Fishy... Slab, red dictator?


Ford sales slump
Dec 2, 2006

Ford sales slump = US fell - mass drop


Stop the aircraft scare stories - the risk is remote, doctors say
Dec 1, 2006

Alexander Litvinenko's body in a sealed container = 'Nannies' darkened: Toxic radiation levels!


BA says low traces of radiation found on two aircraft
Nov 30, 2006

London's Heathrow Airport = Land 'n' what? Isotope horror!


Disturbances hit immigration centre
Nov 29, 2006

Harmondsworth Detention Centre = Rather discontented men throw on


"Buy Nothing Day" celebrated
Nov 25, 2006

No Purchase Necessary = Reassurance on psyche


Shoppers rush to holiday sales
Nov 24, 2006

Black Friday = Backyard fil


Nintendo's new game console sold out in 60 seconds
Nov 20, 2006

Wii Game Console = I'm new social ego


OJ Simpson to release If-I-Did-It book
Nov 19, 2006

Orenthal James Simpson = Jest on misshapen moral


James Bond movie debuts
Nov 17, 2006

Bond in Casino Royale = An icon so debonairly!


Dozens of companies caught in stock option backdating
Nov 13, 2006

Stock option scandal = Not OK! Scold captains


Election results seen as a referendum on Bush administration
Nov 11, 2006

Bush administration = I trust bad minions? Ha!

by Lucy W. (hearmesmile123ATyahoo.com)


Democrats take house in mid-term elections
Nov 8, 2006

Democrats win house = A true wisdom chosen


Microsoft and Novell call truce
Nov 5, 2006

Microsoft, Novell ink deal = Damn-fool evils interlock


Obesity epidemic in America
Nov 3, 2006

United States of America = Customised Fattie Arena


Where's the saving in daylight saving?
Oct 31, 2006

Daylight-saving Time = That misgiving delay

by Larry Robinson (midimagicATsbcglobal.net)


Flu vaccines 'not worth the trouble'
Oct 29, 2006

Flu vaccination = Cavil a function


Britney's baby named
Oct 26, 2006

Jayden James = Easy named: JJ


Firefox 2.0 released
Oct 24, 2006

Firefox browser = Fix errors of Web


Obama considers White House run
Oct 23, 2006

B. Obama for president = Probe: Bona-fide smart!


Pakistani cricket players using banned steroid
Oct 17, 2006

Pakistan Cricket Board = A bad rep? It isn't crack, OK!
by Mark McNamara (spinmeayarn hotmail.com)


Kiran Desai wins Booker prize
Oct 13, 2006

"The Inheritance of Loss" = Finest, honest, heroical


Turkish writer wins Nobel
Oct 12, 2006

Writer Orhan Pamuk = Hum! Paint rare work


North Korea performs nuclear test
Oct 9, 2006

Korean Peninsula = Nukes on airplane?
by Mark McNamara (spinmeayarn hotmail.com)


More pages recount approaches from Foley
Oct 7, 2006

Congressman Mark Foley = Sly menace grooms Frank


Congressman in email scandal
Oct 6, 2006

Congressman Mark Foley = Grr! A flaky common sense


Big Bang researchers won Nobel
Oct 5, 2006

George Smoot and John Mather = Ho Ho! Granted major gemstone


Turkish man hijacks plane
Oct 4, 2006

Hakan Ekinci = Ah! Inane kick


Steve Irwin's children pay tribute
Sep 29, 2006

The Crocodile Hunter = Cute Hero to Children
by Mark McNamara (spinmeayarn hotmail.com)


Fugitive CEO arrested
Sep 27, 2006

Jacob 'Kobi' Alexander = Bonk jailbox, dear ace!


Earth warmest in 12000 years
Sep 26, 2006

Earth too hot = Oh, threat too!


Rumor: Bin Laden Gone
Sep 24, 2006

Bin Laden dead? = An idle, bad end


Author sends spoof letter in literary rivalry
Sep 23, 2006

Eve de Harben = Ever been had?


Thai PM loses power in coup
Sep 20, 2006

Thaksin ousted = Outside! Thanks.


Spinach linked to E. Coli
Sep 16, 2006

Spinach recalled = Hell! Sacred panic.


HP head rolls in scandal
Sep 13, 2006

Patricia C. Dunn = Captain in crud


Apple iTunes to sell Disney movies
Sep 12, 2006

iTunes movies = Invites mouse


Intel lays off 10,500 people
Sep 7, 2006

The Intel Corporation = Tailor one rotten chip


Katie Couric debuts on CBS Evening News
Sep 6, 2006

Evening News = New evenings


Calderon declared Mexico's president-elect
Sep 5, 2006

Felipe Calderon = Poll, define race


Pluto no longer a planet
Aug 29, 2006

Planet Pluto = Lop petulant!


British Airways in controversy
Aug 28, 2006

British Airways = This is war by Air


IBM buys Internet security company
Aug 24, 2006

Internet Security Systems = Scientists neuter mystery


Paramount Pictures drops Tom Cruise
Aug 23, 2006

Tom Cruise = I'm cut, sore


Shuttle ready for launch
Aug 17, 2006

Space Shuttle Atlantis = The stainless catapult


Fierce war rages between Israel and Lebanon
Aug 16, 2006

Mid-East = Sad time


AOL's privacy goof-up
Aug 15, 2006

AOL.com = Am loco!


Eric Oemig running for Washington state Senate
Aug 14, 2006

Eric Oemig, Wa Senator = Wise, nice orator, a gem


Brother rules as Fidel recovers
Aug 13, 2006

Raul Castro = Rout rascal!


Thousands evacuated as volcano threatens to erupt
The Mayon volcano = Yon lava cometh, no?

Aug 9, 2006


Analysis: Chavez is Latin America's heir-apparent to aging Castro
Aug 8, 2006

United States of America = I'm Castro-infatuated, see.


Sep 11 movie opens
Aug 7, 2006

"World Trade Center" = Lewd terror act. End.


Mel Gibson spouts racist remarks
Aug 6, 2006

Mel Gibson, anti-Semite = Mean gentile sobs, "I'm it!"
by Jeffery Gibson


Fidel Castro hospitalized
Aug 5, 2006

Post-Castro Cuba = Stab acts or coup


Microsoft announces iPod competitor
Jul 25, 2006

Microsoft Zune = Frozen to music


Director M. Night Shyamalan's new movie released
Jul 21, 2006

Lady in the Water = Rated: whiny tale


Cruise ship mishap injures dozens
Jul 20, 2006

Crown Princess = Crisp new scorn


Israel and Hezbollah continue on the warpath
Jul 19, 2006

Israel, Hezbollah = Ablaze or hellish


Miss World Contest May Create 20,000 Polish Jobs
Jul 15, 2006

The Miss World Beauty Contest = Study Charline's sweet bottom!


Mexico peso rallies
Jul 6, 2006

Mexico peso rallies = Miracle - Exposes oil!


The World Cup slogan
Jun 30, 2006

"A Time to Make Friends" = A diktat from enemies


The World Cup slogan
Jun 28, 2006

"A Time to Make Friends" = I dream it - fans meet, OK?


US to deploy interceptor missiles in Japan
Jun 27, 2006

Patriot interceptor missiles = Timeless airstrip protection


Taliban members killed
Jun 26, 2006

Taliban militants killed in Afghanistan = Inhabitants' fatal alien-killings, damn it!


Inspiration behind Edison's inventions discovered
Jun 25, 2006

Thomas Alva Edison = Do Have Salami Snot


Sears Tower Was Never In Danger
Jun 24, 2006

Sears Tower Was Never In Danger = Read "New Savage Terrors" in news


Ann Coulter's hits new low in her new book
Jun 23, 2006

'Godless: The Church of Liberalism' = O, hell! Coulter's highbred fascism!


US Church elects first woman chief
Jun 22, 2006

The Episcopal Church = Christ Chapel coup eh?


Ice Hockey Championship
Jun 21, 2006

The Stanley Cup final = Let fans hunt ice play


Archbishop of Canterbury hints at schism?
Jun 20, 2006

Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori = Fear arch-risk, if she's in the top job


Thames Water, the biggest leaker of them all
Jun 19, 2006

Thames Water = Ah! Met waster?


Heather Mills faces allegations of love for money
Jun 16, 2006

Heather Mills McCartney = Her math: male clients cry!


New name needed for the Birmingham and Black Country region
Jun 14, 2006

Birmingham, Solihull, Coventry, Walsall, Wolverhampton, Sandwell, Dudley, Telford and Wrekin = Wolver-Birming-Well-Sall-Hulls-Land (very oddly, we fail'd to calm down 'n think up a shorter name)


Heather Mills revealed to be a star in adult publications
Jun 13, 2006

Heather Mills McCartney = Chesty thrill, cameramen!


Saturn and Mars will 'meet' in the bee swarm
Jun 12, 2006

The Rings of Saturn = Gases forth, in turn


Scottish orchestra seeks new national anthem
Jun 11, 2006

The Royal Scottish National Orchestra = Och! a solo eh? Artistry in tartan clothes!


Rooney Flies Back Home
Jun 8, 2006

The World Cup Finals in Germany = Run PR on Wayne's medical flight


Mayor opposes Thames salt water plant
Jun 7, 2006

Water companies = Moan: waste, price


Canada Holds 17 In Alleged Bomb Plot
Jun 6, 2006

Ammonium nitrate = A term: ammunition


School renames classes in a fit of political correctness
Jun 5, 2006

Bonnyrigg Primary school = Naming orgy, so-horribly PC


British Deputy PM has affair with his secretary
Jun 4, 2006

Miss Tracey Temple = MP's steamily erect!


Oil workers abducted in Nigeria
Jun 3, 2006

Nigeria oil workers abducted = A riotous rebel wing raid deck


British Deputy PM has affair with his secretary
Jun 2, 2006

Diary secretary = Career's dirty, ya?


New Orleans sinking
Jun 1, 2006

New Orleans 'sinking even faster' = Frank, so-intense levee warnings


Cabbies can't wear World Cup garb
May 31, 2006

Blackpool's council = Uncool cab pillocks!


British Deputy PM in hot water
May 30, 2006

The Deputy Prime Minister, John Prescott = Typist-jumper, this incompetent 'red hero'?


East Timor's Capital Descends Into Chaos
May 28, 2006

East Timor = Riots, mate!


Indonesia earthquake
May 27, 2006

Indonesia earthquake = Shaken: a dire equation


B.C. court allows tobacco lawsuit to go ahead
May 26, 2006

Imperial Tobacco = I boo malpractice


Church leaders blast Madonna stunt
May 25, 2006

Madonna Ritchie = Dominican Hater
(by Schatzi Crabtree)


Racehorse undergoes surgery
May 24, 2006

Barbaro Is Able to Stand After Surgery = Stable arranges Ruby for adroit beast!


Republicans' Strategy
May 23, 2006

Elections Are Crux Of GOP's Strategy = Large tax cuts - fine poetry, Scrooges!


Beatle McCartney and wife to part ways
May 22, 2006

Heather McCartney = Hatchet Mercenary


Same name gaffes result in 1,500 criminal records
May 21, 2006

The Criminal Records Bureau = Botch rare surname - ridicule!


St Patrick's Cathedral stand-off
May 19, 2006

Afghan asylum-seekers = Ask refugee lass: A hymn?


Lead exposure causes Attention-Deficit Disorder
May 16, 2006

Attention Deficit Disorder = A stern doctor identified it


Bush's addictions
May 15, 2006

George Walker Bush = Rake, who glugs beer
(by Art Day)


Cannibal 'must never be released'
May 12, 2006

Armin Meiwes = Maims weiner


Rumsfeld defends CIA pick
May 11, 2006

General Michael Hayden = Energy-man, he'll head CIA!


Injured Rooney a World Cup doubt
May 10, 2006

Manchester United's star footballer Wayne Rooney = Yo! teen owner's only fractured his metatarsal bone!


Study reveals secrets of human attraction
May 9, 2006

Sex pheromones = Express 'em? Oh no!


Make claims to be "The Earl of Buckingham" = Humble fake
May 7, 2006

a right con! =


Bogus morality plagues the Prescott affair
May 6, 2006

"The Spectator" = Hate Prescott!


The politician that freed a thousand criminals
May 1, 2006

Home Secretary Charles Clarke = Sack the moral screecher early!


Don't mourn loss of slots here
Apr 29, 2006

Slot machines = Scam in hotels!


Police charge Alabama teacher
Apr 28, 2006

Sharon Linton Rutherford = Stunner, or horrid? Not half!


Microwave used in fatal attack
Apr 27, 2006

Microwave oven = O Man! Revive cow


Carpenter works in the buff
Apr 26, 2006

Carpenter Percy Honniball = Cry: "Chap in - repellant boner!"


Iran Rejects Deadline on Uranium Enrichment
Apr 25, 2006

Uranium enrichment = True in Iran, men - Much!


New satellite ready for launch
Apr 24, 2006

The Earth-observing satellite CALIPSO = NASA telescope-thrill site, right above!


Title Nine is proving athletics aren't just for men
Apr 23, 2006

Sports bra = Traps orbs!


Deep Throat's Other Secret
Apr 22, 2006

Deep Throat = Red-hot tape!


Tom Cruise to eat placenta?
Apr 20, 2006

Placenta recipes = Spice natal crepe


Iranian President goes ahead with nuke plans
Apr 19, 2006

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad = Ah! odium, jehad madman


Long-distance journey of a fast food order
Apr 18, 2006

McDonald's Cheeseburger = Cue's: mongrel; cheddar; BSE


Berlusconi refuses to concede
Apr 17, 2006

The Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi = Billionaire optimises this criminal venture


Generals call for Rumsfeld's ouster
Apr 16, 2006

Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld = Rule condescended elder army staff


Prince Harry completes military training
Apr 11, 2006

Royal Military Academy Sandhurst = Army-trained duty's a scholarly aim


GM in trouble
Apr 10, 2006

General Motors Corporation = More petrol (or gas) into car, no?


City marks engineer's 200 years
Apr 9, 2006

The Clifton Suspension Bridge = Hot topic's Brunel's fine design


Downing Street cat Humphrey dies
Apr 8, 2006

Number Ten Downing Street = Mog deterrent went, in snub


NTL acquires Virgin Mobile
Apr 7, 2006

Virgin Mobile takeover = Grieve: market oblivion


Caspar Weinberger, RIP
Apr 6, 2006

"America never had a wiser patriot, nor Britain a truer friend." -Margaret Thatcher = A tartar, her narrative rhetoric infatuated admirer Caspar Weinberger? Not him!


GM sells major stake in GMAC
Apr 5, 2006

General Motors Corporation = O-o! (Earnings per motorcar lot)


PM dismisses Brown rift rumours
Apr 4, 2006

Number Ten Downing Street = Resentment untied G. Brown


Bush's ratings down
Apr 3, 2006

Bush's Popularity Reaches New Low = A poll, ran by White House, screws-up!


Security Council rebukes on nukes
Apr 2, 2006

Security Council Pressures Tehran = Super-countries' nuclear hysterics


Class will do things backward for a day
Apr 1, 2006

April Fool's Day = Diary: spoof all!


Labour MP tells Blair to let Brown take over
Mar 31, 2006

New Labour Party = Ay! Brown up later!


Sea Harrier Retires
Mar 30, 2006

Farewell, Sea Harrier = Free a war hell-raiser!


British Airways flies to Albania
Mar 29, 2006

British Airways to start flights to Albania = I bow, as BA Tristars' T-tails fly high to Tirana


Academy appointments for trio
Mar 28, 2006

United States Air Force Academy = Defend America! (Russia yet to act)


BAA to shut Heathrow's Terminal 2
Mar 27, 2006

London Airport's Terminal Two = NW Airlines motor to Portland


SAS frees Kember and Canadian hostages
Mar 24, 2006

British hostage Norman Kember = The SAS 'Rambo Men' broke-in, right?


Clarke comments fuel loans row
Mar 21, 2006

The Labour Party treasurer Jack Dromey = Truer Euro art. Pay back? Her Majesty: "Lord!"


St. Patrick's Day
Mar 17, 2006

Saint Patrick's Day = A tipsy drink? A cast!


Mind the Tube map
Mar 16, 2006

David Ellis, the Head of Intellectual Property, Transport for London = Ho-ho! droll fun... I plan solicitor for retyped patented-letters vandal


China's smoking threat
Mar 15, 2006

Benson and Hedges cigarettes = Best dog-ends, China teenagers!


London drought
Mar 14, 2006

London hosepipe ban = Ho, no plebeian ponds!


Sen. Orrin Hatch connects Saddam and Al Qaeda
Mar 13, 2006

Senator Orrin Hatch = A tinhorn orchestra


Iraqi Abu Gharib prison to close
Mar 10, 2006

Abu Ghraib prison = Bush: "I grip no Arab!"


UN Security Council to discuss Iran
Mar 8, 2006

United Nations Security Council = Stoic unity: discontinue nuclear!


Iran unshaken by UN threats
Mar 6, 2006

Iran's nuclear programme = "More!" Ran rulers' campaign


Video shows Bush warned about the hurricane
Mar 5, 2006

White House & Katrina = Ha, Authorities Knew!


Beam comes loose in the Scottish Parliament
Mar 4, 2006

The Scottish Parliament = Months late at THIS price?


Scottish Water 'costs more but gives worse service than all English firms
Mar 3, 2006

Scottish Water = That is, to screw


Overnight weather forecast: 'nasty'
Mar 2, 2006

The National Weather Service forecast = Chief event alert: Wear those raincoats!


More than 53 million pounds taken in Britain's biggest robbery
Feb 27, 2006

Fifty three million pounds = This pitiful, modern felony


50m. UK cash heist
Feb 24, 2006

The Securitas depot, Tonbridge = Got redistributed notes cheap?


War crimes suspect still at large
Feb 22, 2006

General Ratko Mladic = Mark, all - genocide art


Signs of life in buried Philippine school
Feb 20, 2006

Phillippines mudslide = Pupils impeded in hills


US Congress Tackles Surveillance
Feb 19, 2006

Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act = Vast electrical fun - crinoline negligee!


US Congress Tackles Surveillance
Feb 17, 2006

Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act = Generates electronic vigilance, in full


UK bans public smoking
Feb 16, 2006

The English public house = Pint? Oh! such huge bellies!


Bush critizied for illegal spying
Feb 15, 2006

George Bush is spying on us = Nosy gossip-bugger in US eh?


Duck! Cheney blasts pal
Feb 14, 2006

Vice President Dick Cheney = Spy nice, thick red evidence


Prime Minister Tony Blair
Feb 13, 2006

Labour Prime Minister = "More spin? True. I'm Blair!"


160 British MPs oppose plan to end 1bn Post Office contract
Feb 12, 2006

Royal Mail postal service = I may lose parcels to rival


Google's new search feature seeks greater access to personal computers
Feb 11, 2006

Personal computer = Apple-core nostrum


Supermarket roof collapses in Germany
Feb 10, 2006

German roofing skills = Firm gang kills sooner!


President Bush's ratings plummet
Feb 9, 2006

George W Bush's approval ratings = War is grave, boss. Graph to plunge


Scotland cardinal
Feb 8, 2006

Cardinal Keith O'Brien = AKA horrible incident


German predator tempts gas giant BOC
Feb 7, 2006

British Oxygen Company = Nasty, grimy, xenophobic


Neighbourhood louts are named and shamed
Feb 6, 2006

Anti Social Behaviour Orders = O hubris! a controversial idea


Iran's Ahamdinejad hits back at nuclear pressure
Feb 5, 2006

Nuclear facilities = Nile clerics au-fait


Beef export to Japan resumes
Feb 4, 2006

American beef exports to Japan = Jap: "Meat? Toxic an' BSE-prone fare


President Bush to deliver State of the Union Address
Jan 30, 2006

State of the Union Address = So, father tuned-in set. Soda!


Asian shares fall amid oil price jitters
Jan 20, 2006

Steadily rising oil price = Spirit rose daily. Ceiling?


Bachelet promises an inclusive regime
Jan 19, 2006

Michelle Bachelet = H'm, electable, Chile?


Spy Agency Data After Sep 11 Led FBI to Dead Ends
Jan 18, 2006

National Security Agency = Tail, to enrage any US cynic


Taiwan breeds green-glowing pigs
Jan 17, 2006

Taiwanese fluorescent pig = Pleasure: taste of nice wings!


Taiwan breeds green-glowing pigs
Jan 14, 2006

Taiwanese fluorescent pigs = Porcine geniuses? Flaw: taste


Blair says Iran might face UN sanctions
Jan 13, 2006

Enriched uranium = Hum! Reduce in Iran


Bishop reveals
Jan 12, 2006

Bishop Thomas Gumbleton = Theologian's bomb thumps!


Musical celebrates its record-breaking run
Jan 11, 2006

The Phantom of the Opera = Oh, fete the pop marathon!


Spacecraft to Bring Home Comet Dust and Clues
Jan 10, 2006

NASA's Stardust Spacecraft = "SS Data Capturer" scans fast!


British MP Charles Kennedy steps down after admitting his drinking problem
Jan 9, 2006

Scots Lib Dems split over Kennedy = Drink-obsessed contempt's lively!


Canadian Prime Minister involved in numerous scandals
Jan 8, 2006

Paul Martin = A Primal nut


Hostel collapse in Mecca
Jan 7, 2006

Pilgrim hostel collapses in Mecca = Calm, I'll plot seismograph science


Media crackdown in Iran
Jan 5, 2006

President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad = Madman hounds media. Jehad tripe!


Fires Ravage Oklahoma City, Texas Towns
Jan 4, 2006

Oklahoma grass-fires = Area has so-grim folks


No body in Playboy India
Jan 3, 2006

The Playboy Centrefold = Behold only pretty face


Russians face raise in gas prices
Jan 2, 2006

Russian gas price hike = Huge raise risks panic


French ban petrol in cans amid fear of New Year riots
Jan 1, 2006

French ban petrol in cans = CNN: Brains to help France!


Hilton Hotels to Buy U.K. Lodging Business for $5.71 Billion
Dec 31, 2005

Hilton Hotels Corp = Hot trollop's niche?


Schild sparks Austria celebrations
Dec 30, 2005

Marlies Schild and Nicole Hosp = Cold hillsides' champions earn


Creationism evolves into Intelligent Design
Dec 29, 2005

Creation Science = Anti-science Core


Warner Music subpoenaed
Dec 28, 2005

Warner Music = Run wire scam


Fairfax Gunman's Rampage Detailed
Dec 27, 2005

Nathan Cheatham = A hatchet-man? Nah!


Court rules against Intelligent Design
Dec 26, 2005

Intelligent Design = Ill - Needing Testing


Why is gold rising?
Dec 24, 2005

What has made gold so precious? = A shrewd cad's moolah - it goes up!


New York transit strike ends
Dec 23, 2005

New York transit strike = Yonkers wit: "Trains? Trek!"


British MP Charles Kennedy having drinking problems
Dec 22, 2005

Liberal Democrats' Leader Charles Kennedy = See me drink claret, brandy, cold real-ales, eh?


Israeli Prime Minister admitted
Dec 21, 2005

Ariel Sharon in hospital after minor stroke = Relish horror? No. Fat Israeli patient's OK, man


New York metro strike
Dec 20, 2005

The Transit Workers' Union = Shirkers! No train went out


British spy in IRA unveiled
Dec 19, 2005

Denis Donaldson = Aids London's end


EU leaders hail new budget deal
Dec 18, 2005

European budget agreed = And EU pegged our rebate


Gang founder executed
Dec 15, 2005

Stanley Tookie Williams = So, timely kill awaits one?


Oil depot blast is 'worst' in peacetime Europe
Dec 12, 2005

Hertfordshire Oil Storage Terminal = Firemen: Throat horror - lit gas, diesel


Telegraph headline
Dec 11, 2005

"US out in the cold at world climate talks" = Truth's oil-well lunatics' mood attacked


London retires red doubledeckers
Dec 9, 2005

The London Routemaster bus = Last monster honoured. Tube?


Saddam Hussein refuses to attend the court
Dec 7, 2005

Saddam boycotts his trial = Sly, mad dictator: "Tosh! bias!"


China orders 150 Airbus jets
Dec 6, 2005

Huge Chinese Airbus order = Hi! Sure heard Boeing curse!


Incredibly emotional service. Belfast did him proud
Dec 5, 2005

George Best's funeral = Sure Belfast, go green


More in U.S. Expressing Doubts About Death Penalty
Dec 4, 2005

The US death penalty = Spy that Utah needle


Justice Staff Saw Texas Districting As Illegal
Dec 3, 2005

Texas congressional redistricting plan = Inept state land-riggers, or classic Nixon?


UK pubs can now apply for 24 hour opening times
Dec 2, 2005

New licensing laws = We'll scan wines, gin


Bugatti announce fastest ever road car
Dec 1, 2005

Bugatti Veyron = Vanity, but goer!


Supreme Court Nominee favors special interest groups
Nov 30, 2005

Samuel Alito = I am a sellout


Balloon hurts two at Macy's Parade
Nov 29, 2005

The Macy's Parade Disaster: Balloon Falls, Hits Two = Blasted shop's 'craft was lethal - no air-miles today!


Spill in Chinese river
Nov 28, 2005

Environmental disaster = Vile stream rends nation


Palestinians take control of Gaza crossing
Nov 27, 2005

Israelis Hand Off Gaza Crossing = Rafah scission: flags organized


Spill in China Brings Danger, and Cover-Up
Nov 26, 2005

Jilin Petrochemical Company = Joy! Cheap mop, criminal client?


Celebrate Buy Nothing Day!
Nov 25, 2005

Buy Nothing Day = Buy? Do anything!


British government considering whether to invest in a new generation of nuclear power
Nov 24, 2005

Radioactive waste = Caveat: so-dire wait


Lobbyist Jack Abramoff's partner pleads guilty in bribery case
Nov 23, 2005

Michael Scanlon = Cash: Moan in cell?


Humane Society to sue over animal cruelty
Nov 22, 2005

Humane Society of the United States = Eye Ohio hens' fate. Dictate: must stun


New Harry Potter movie released
Nov 21, 2005

Goblet of Fire = Ole! Big effort


Alito nominated as Miers withdraws
Nov 20, 2005

Supreme Court Nominee Samuel Alito = Lieu, autonomous Miers replacement?


Duo arrested in corruption case
Nov 19, 2005

U.S. Accuses Pair of Rigging Iraq Contracts = Cure: CIA acts on gross quasi-pricing graft


Latest Poll News
Nov 18, 2005

Republican defections increase = Rapid US cabinet conference: "Lies!"


Europe's most powerful rocket launched
Nov 17, 2005

Ariane rocket launch = UN: hark acceleration!


The failed Amman bomber arrested
Nov 16, 2005

Sajida Rishawi = A "Jihad" is... is war


Bush goes to Asia
Nov 15, 2005

President Bush in Far East = Friendship stature? Beans!


Riots continue in France
Nov 14, 2005

Citroens afire = I.e. France riots


Democrats running behind in fundraising
Nov 13, 2005

Democrats Losing Race For Funds = Slogan: "Offer credit-card sums, no?"


US Senate Approves Limiting Rights of Detainees
Nov 12, 2005

US Senate Approves Limiting Rights of Detainees = Guantanamo elite: "It's dire, fight oppressiveness!"


Suicide bombers kill innocent in Amman
Nov 11, 2005

Suicide bombers strike Amman = I am a sick brute. Dismembers, no?


New York City chooses Bloomberg again
Nov 10, 2005

Michael R. Bloomberg re-elected = Hell, I emerge, clobber Democrat!


Pentagon Plans Tighter Control of Interrogation
Nov 9, 2005

Interrogation techniques = CEO tenet: "Hurting no Iraqis"


Pirates attack cruise liner
Nov 8, 2005

The Seabourn Spirit = Surprise in the boat!


Violence and looting in France
Nov 7, 2005

Paris violence = Epic, evil arson


Violent protests at the Summit of the Americas
Nov 6, 2005

Anti-U.S. Protests Flare at Summit = Riot latest: partisans must fume!


President Bush slides in polls
Nov 5, 2005

Bush's Popularity Reaches New Low = Or, public's answer helps: 'Way Out', eh?


CIA runs secret prisons
Nov 4, 2005

CIA covert prison system = Secret Company visitors


New documentary exposes Wal-Mart
Nov 3, 2005

"Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price" = Watch the film show (or clip) to rage!


Samuel Alito nominated for Supreme Court
Nov 2, 2005

Judge Samuel A. Alito = Jailed a US mega-lout


VP Cheney's Chief of Staff implicated
Nov 1, 2005

Lewis "Scooter" Libby indicted = Cite wildly indiscreet boobs


Iranian President rants against Israel
Oct 31, 2005

Iranian President = Insane rant! Die! RIP!


Libby indicted in outing of CIA agent Valerie Wilson
Oct 30, 2005

Valerie Plame Wilson = Woman: "See, I'll prevail!"


Supreme Court nominee withdraws
Oct 29, 2005

Harriet Miers = Mrs: "Ah, I retire!"


Author Dan Brown Sued
Oct 28, 2005

Da Vinci Code plagiarism trial = Voiced aim: grill parasitic Dan


Wal-Mart: No Unhealthy People Wanted
Oct 27, 2005

Wal-Mart's board of directors = Fact: Lord! aim's to rob rewards


Unisys charged for overbilling the US govt
Oct 26, 2005

Unisys Corporation = Priority: cons USA, no?


Tom DeLay in money-laundering scandal
Oct 25, 2005

Republican leader Tom DeLay = Party double-dealer: "I'm clean!"


Bush wants his lawyer for the US Supreme Court
Oct 24, 2005

Harriet Miers = Smart! I rehire


Members of the Syrian government implicated in assassination
Oct 23, 2005

The Syrian Government = Avengers' hit-men try-on


Hurricane Wilma tears into Mexico
Oct 22, 2005

Hurricane Wilma = Alarm: I chew, ruin


Vice President Cheney to Resign?
Oct 21, 2005

Cheney resignation rumors = Trash my sinecure? No, ignore!


China expands military budget
Oct 20, 2005

China's military budget = Ay! I.D. inscrutable might


Saddam faces court
Oct 19, 2005

Saddam Hussein goes on trial = This man's deal is: Guard; Noose


Cheney's office is a focus in Valerie Plame leak case
Oct 18, 2005

Vice President Cheney = Ripe, stenchy evidence


The latest storm ties the 72-year-old record
Oct 17, 2005

Tropical storm Wilma = Oct. 'low' - air trims palm!


Thousands killed and displaced in the earthquake in South Asia
Oct 15, 2005

The Asian earthquake = A shaken quit the area


Briton Harold Pinter wins Nobel Prize in Literature
Oct 14, 2005

H. Pinter, Author = Hurrah! I net top!


Angela Merkel becomes the first woman Chancellor of Germany
Oct 13, 2005

Angie D. Merkel = I, Legend maker


Tsunami kills hundreds of thousands in Asia
Dec 24, 2004

The Asian tsunami = It's nausea in math.


Mel Gibson releases his blockbuster movie, Apr 2004

The Passion of the Christ = Oh, Spot Theist Franchise!
(Martin Fried-Lee)


Anti-war demonstrations continue across the world Mar 2003

Stop the War = A Step Worth
(Vivia Nikolaidou & Giannis Nikolaidi)


Twin towers of the World Trade Center in New York City topple in an apparent act of dastardly terrorism. Sep 11, 2001

World Trade Center = Lewd Terror Act; End.


Florida votes get recounted due to narrow margin in the 2000 presidential elections. Nov 8, 2000

The Florida Vote Recount = Done To Cover Their Fault


Republican candidate George W. Bush. Nov 7, 2000

George W. Bush = He Grew Bogus


Microsoft launches the successor to Windows 98. Sep 14, 2000

Windows Me = New wisdom


World prepares for perhaps the most-feared date in history. Dec 1999

Year Two Thousand = A Year to Shut Down


John F. Kennedy, Jr. is presumed dead--after the search and rescue team failed to find him, his wife, Carolyn Bessette, and her sister Lauren within 48 hours of searching at sea. Jul 1999

Carolyn Bessette = Recent Lost by Sea
(Bruce Horowitz)


UK's Prince Edward and Sophie Rhys Jones engaged, scandalous tabloid headlines make things difficult Jun 1999

Edward and Sophie = Paranoid She'd Wed = Who'd End Paradise
(Lee Sefton)


New York policeman faces 30 years to life in brutal beating of Haitian immigrant Jun 1999

Officer Justin Volpe = Suffer joint, evil cop
(Pure Venal Dwarf)


News: NATO continues expanding the scope of its operation in the Balkans Apr 1999

NATO vs. a Molosevic = Soon a Slovic Vietnam!
(A Cornille)


News: NATO's Operation Allied Force continues its relentless attack on Yugolasvia Apr 1999

Allied Force = Oil-led farce = Farce! Old lie!
(Dave Allen)


News: Slobodan Milosevic's atrocities push thousands of ethnic Albanians out of Kosovo Apr 1999

Slobodan Milosevic = O, I'm an evil, cold boss!
(Larry Hussar)

President Milosevic =
Is epic devil monster
Demonic evil persist
I, devil, creep, sin most
(John Kannapell)


News: Impeachment proceedings for US President Clinton in full swing. Feb 1999

Impeach Clinton = Let Monica pinch
(Casey McMullen)

Impeach Clinton = Point: cancel him = Then clip Monica
(Bruce Horowitz)


News: The movie Octobor Sky opens. Feb 1999

October Sky = Rocket Boys
The movie is based on Rocket Boys, a memoir by Homer "Sonny" Hickam


News: Disgraced Newt Gingrich resigns as the Speaker of the House. Nov 1998

Newt = Went
(Steve Serfling)


News: Hurrican Mitch causes extensive damage in Central America. Oct 27, 1998

Hurricane Mitch = Much rain, thrice = Hectic harm - ruin
(Graham Savage)


News: Microsoft Corporation under spotlight for anti-competitive tactics.

The Microsoft Corporation = Horror of Competition Acts
(Mick Tully)


News: Final episode of the television show Seinfeld fetches record prices for ads (reportedly $1.5 million for a 30 second spot)

Last Seinfeld =
Feint, sell ads
Ads sell, et fin. ("et fin" is French for "and end")
(David Conner)


News: A scandal of titanic proportions rocks the White House: US President Clinton embroiled in sex scandal with former intern Monica Lewinsky; denies having "improper relations" or urging her to lie.

President Clinton of the USA = To copulate he finds interns

Monica Lewinsky =
Nice silky woman
I may own nickels
Income? A sly wink!
Wank cosily in me
I yowl nicknames
Wank my silicone
Icy silken woman
I lay sick men now
(Dave Linabury)

Monica Lewinsky =
Knew a Slimy Icon
Now I Lay Sick Men
We May Lock in Sin
News May Ink Coil
(Bruce Horowitz)


News: English au pair found guilty of infanticide.

British au pair = I rip a USA birth
(Jeremy Valerius)


News: Alex Kelly, convicted of rape gets 16 years

Alex Kelly, Rapist=
Sex Talky...I'll Rape
Talk, Liar, Sex, Yelp!
Skill: a Lay Expert
I'll Talk a Sex Prey
Kelly...Partial Sex
Yelp...Kill a Sex-Rat!
(Bruce Horowitz)


News: Diana dies in a car crash in Paris.

Princess Diana =
And Since Paris
Sad Panic Risen
Car, Snap, Die, Sin
Pain as car's end
I End as car spin
(Bruce Horowitz)

Princess Diana = Ascend in Paris
(Beth Woodie)

Diana Spencer = Canned Praise
(M. Bowen)

Diana Frances Spencer = A Press Dance in France
(Chip Gore)

Princess Diana = End is a car spin
(Martin Ince)


News: Boeing merger with McDonnel Douglas creates the largest aircraft company in the world.

Boeing = Big One
(Jon Aegerter)


News: Apple gets help from Microsoft.

Apple Computer Inc. = Complete Up in Crap
(Nigel Stanger)



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