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Archives: 2007 & earlier
Times square New Year's gala turns 100
Today's: The Anagram Times
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Dec 31, 2007
Times square New Year's gala turns 100
New Years eve in New York City = NY: Every ones wacky, we're in it!
(by Rodney Koodray Jr)
Bhutto's son maintains political dynasty
Bhutto's son maintains her political dynasty = Toll: continuation, stays behind his Ma's party
(by Pinchas Aronas)
Dec 30, 2007
Another Bhutto in Pakistan
Another Bhutto in Pakistan = Think about, ain't her son apt?
(by Aronas Pinchas)
Kenya candidate claims rigging in vote
Kenya candidate claims rigging in vote = Raila Odinga is making decency vetting
(by Aronas Pinchas)
New England 38, NY Giants 35
New England Patriots = Neat top winners glad
(by Aronas Pinchas)
Dec 29, 2007
Bin Laden issues warning on Iraq, Israel
Bin Laden issues warning on Iraq and Israel = No grins, Al-Qaida ensures asinine blind war
(by Aronas Pinchas)
Opposition claims victory in Kenya
Opposition leader Raila Odinga = O pal, I no 'A liar', I 'A good president'!
(by Aronas Pinchas)
Europe Shocked, Angry at Bhutto Killing
Europe shocked, angry at Bhutto killing = Then bloody slaughter irking to EU pack?
(by Mark McNamara)
Dec 28, 2007
Sean and Robin Wright Penn into the splitsville
Sean and Robin Wright Penn = Now end in partner bashing?
(by Rodney Koodray Jr)
Amy Winehouse summoned to Norwegian court
Amy Winehouse = New! I shame you?
(by Rodney Koodray Jr)
Miss France keeps crown after photo controversy
Miss France Valerie Begue = A 'bemire' vulgar scenes. Fie!
(by Aronas Pinchas)
Dec 27, 2007
'Foolproof' security failed Bhutto
Foolproof security failed Bhutto = Double police or shot at fifty-four
(by Mark McNamara)
Benajir Bhutto Assassinated
They did shoot and/or blow her up this morning = In hindsight Bhutto downplayed some horror
(by Rain Barclift)
Mishca Barton busted
Mishca Barton busted = Uh? Sitcom star nabbed
(by Rodney Koodray Jr)
Democrats Enter Stretch in Iowa
Democrats enter stretch in Iowa = Rats, some wretched interaction!
(by Aronas Pinchas)
Surviving girl evacuated in Panama crash
Francesca Lewis = Carcass? New life!
(by Aronas Pinchas)
Dec 26, 2007
Russia launches final satellites for its own GPS
Russia launches final satellites for its own GPS = Follows unrest in US; classifies this a great plan?
(by Rodney Koodray Jr)
Yung Joc Skips Court Date
Yung Joc skips court date = Angry jest? Stupid cuckoo!
(by Rodney Koodray Jr)
Tom Coughlin's job likely safe
Tom Coughlin's Job Likely Safe = Giants jock's yell: Ooh I fumble
(by Rodney Koodray Jr)
Escaped tiger kills man at San Francisco Zoo
Escaped tiger kills man in S.F. Zoo = King-size animal left sod-corpse
(by Aronas Pinchas)
Nepal resumes search for missing in bridge collapse
The search resumes for hundreds missing in Nepal bridge collapse = People (sirs, females and children) rush in crossing, submerge... DEATH.
(by Aronas Pinchas)
Last-minute buyers give retailers relief
Last minute shoppers = Hapless spurt, no time!
(by Aronas Pinchas)
Dec 25, 2007
Three Canadians injured in blast
Improvised Explosive Device = Implied Civvies Overexposed
(by Tony Stanton)
Obama now trails only Clinton
Barack Obamas up in the pollings = Poll sum got back his ripe banana
(by Rain Barclift)
Blacks Shift To Obama, Poll Finds
Barack Obama's up in the pollings = Black man boasting he is popular
(by Rain Barclift)
Brady, Moss Close in As Pats Go to 15-0
A perfect season is in their sights = This is seeing Patriots fans cheer
(by Rain Barclift)
Unpaid Credit Cards Bedevil Americans
Dec 24, 2007
Visa, Master, Amex or Discover card = Savor more via creditcard's maxes
(by Rain Barclift)
At least 5 dead in Plains, Midwest storm
Dec 23, 2007
At least five dead in the Plains, Midwest storm = Disaster 'tamps' with violent demise, fatal end
(by Aronas Pinchas)
IOC president Jacques Rogge calls for tougher doping stance
Dec 22, 2007
IOC president calls for tougher doping stance = No! Rogge found steroids can cripple athletics
(by Mark Mcnamara)
Asteroid on track for possible Mars hit
Dec 21, 2007
Asteroid on track for possible Mars hit = Folks ID photo, Orbiter scares Martians
(by Rodney Koodray Jr)
Time names Putin Person of the Year
Dec 20, 2007
Time names Putin Person of the Year = Yippee! Neat moment for the Russian
(by Mark McNamara)
Dec 19, 2007
Roger 'Rocket' Clemens strongly denies allegations by his ex-trainer
Okay Roger Clemens used Steroids = Rocket easily endorses some drug
(by Rodney Koodray Jr)
Israel pledges more airstrikes in Gaza
Israel pledges more airstrikes in Gaza = Israelis dogmatize, spare general risk
(by Aronas Pinchas)
Anchorwoman arrested
Dec 18, 2007
Anchorwoman arrested = One hard warrant comes
(by Rodney Koodray Jr)
New winter storm bears down on Northeast
Dec 17, 2007
New winter storm bears down on Northeast = THE SNOW, snow and more bitter errant snow
(by Aronas Pinchas)
New Orleans to Bulldoze Housing
Dec 16, 2007
New Orleans to Bulldoze Housing = Uh, no US obsolete lowland zinger
(by Andy Bock)
Chris Evert and Greg Norman get engaged
Dec 15, 2007
Chris Evert and Greg Norman engaged = Changed grand rings over agreement
(by Aronas Pinchas)
Plant, Not Zeppelin, Tourning in May
Dec 14, 2007
Robert Plant = Partner bolt
(by Rodney Koodray Jr)
Baseball under the microscope
Baseball drugs = Bad ball surges
(by Rodney Koodray Jr)
Nearly 95 percent of email is junk: US Web security firm
Dec 13, 2007
Nearly 95 percent of the email sent in 2007 has been spam = Terrible anathemas seen on any finest PC. Help me!
(by Aronas Pinchas)
Argentina's first elected female president takes over from husband
Dec 11, 2007
Cristina Fernandez of Argentina = An after-Nestor, defining Czarina
Profile of a killer: Robert Hawkins
Dec 8, 2007
Robert Hawkins = Broken wraiths
(by Aronas Pinchas)
Oprah Winfrey could help Obama draw women voters from Clinton
Dec 8, 2007
Oprah's big program in Iowa = Obama gain grip prior show
(by Rain Barclift)
Nine dead in Nebraska mall shooting
Dec 7, 2007
Nine dead in Nebraska mall = Mad, bane and insane killer
(by Aronas Pinchas)
Omaha Shooting
Dec 6, 2007
Mass murderer Robbie Hawkins = O, we run! A 'BBRRR...' His AK missed me!
(by Polly Orchid)
Venezuela Vote Sets Roadblocks on Chavez Path
Dec 5, 2007
Exit polls suggest win for Chavez? = Venezuela's gig, splotch, worst fix
(by Aronas Pinchas)
New Reality TV Show: 'Who Wants to Marry a U.S. Citizen'; love knows no borders...
Dec 4, 2007
New reality TV show = Wives let way north
(by Rain Barclift)
Sudan pardons 'teddy bear' row teacher
Dec 3, 2007
President Omar al-Bashir = P.S. Arab is a modern Hitler
(by Aronas Pinchas)
Death toll for Iraqis falls again
Dec 3, 2007
Death toll for Iraqis falls again = Al Qaida losers ain't fight for ALL
(by Aronas Pinchas)
Snow and ice hit Midwest; 3 dead
Dec 2, 2007
Snow and ice hit Midwest; three dead = Nice white storm wasted? Had, indeed!
(by Aronas Pinchas)
Lawmakers reach gas mileage boost deal
Dec 2, 2007
Dems reach deal on energy bill = Headlines roll bad emergency
(by Aronas Pinchas)
British teacher jailed for naming a teddy bear Muhammad
Dec 1, 2007
Teacher Gillian Gibbons = Icon slighting bearable?
Suspect in trouble before hostage drama
Dec 1, 2007
Suspect in trouble before hostage drama = L. Eisenberg spoofs that Democrat-bureau
(by Aronas Pinchas)
Bush urges additional AIDS money
Nov 30, 2007
Bush urges additional AIDS money = Mind out disease or badly anguish!
(by Aronas Pinchas)
Announcement of Annapolis Conference
Nov 28, 2007
The Annapolis conference = Chance for Palestine? None!
(by Aronas Pinchas)
Bush says Mideast peace talks worth the risks
Nov 27, 2007
Bush says Mideast peace talks worth the risks = Such shaky worthless debates is trap, mistake
(by Aronas Pinchas)
English football coach fired
Nov 24, 2007
Steve Mclaren Sacked = Reckless Men Vacated
(by Rajesh Sukhija)
Retail Desperation on Display in Early Hours
Nov 23, 2007
Holiday Shopping Season = Hyping Had Passion Loose
(by Frank Hale)
New research converts skin cells into stem-cells
Nov 21, 2007
Stem-cell discovery = Recycled most lives
Human Error Cited in California Oil Spill of the merchant vessel Cosco Busan
Nov 12, 2007
The Cosco Busan = Ouch! Can't be! SOS!
New England Patriots accused of running up the score
Nov 6, 2007
New England Patriots = Wantoned plastering
Congress likely to override vetoes when pork's on the line
Nov 5, 2007
United States House of Representatives = The idiots pass no revenue-free statutes
(by Dennis Kaufman)
Lawyer: Son sold father's N-word tape
Nov 2, 2007
Chapman is betrayed by son's sale = As 'manly' racist debases by phone
(by Rain Barclift)
Ireland's tallest tower in Dublin To Be Named After Band U2
Oct 31, 2007
Dublin pop star wants to honor self = Bono flaunts this tower, Drop plans!
(by Rain Barclift)
Magician David Copperfield accused of assault
Oct 30, 2007
Magic failed to make it disappear = A magi at mistake, aid Copperfield
(by Rain Barclift)
Chertoff Rips Phony Homeland Press Event
Oct 29, 2007
FEMA stages phony news conference = Mangey offense, now chasten creeps
Sudan Declares Cease-Fire at Darfur Peace Talks
Oct 28, 2007
Sudan cease-fire = Audiences safer
Purdue U to host Dalai Lama
Oct 26, 2007
Purdue to host Dalai Lama = To laud moralist up ahead
(by Daniel D O'Brien)
Time: Put Dumbledore Back in the Closet
Oct 23, 2007
Dumbledore gay = Duly embargoed
More than 130 killed in blast as former prime minister Bhutto returns
Oct 19, 2007
Bhutto returns to Pakistan = Saboteurs taunt pink troth
Obesity deadlier than smoking
Oct 17, 2007
Obese at more risk than smokers = Has smoker beat in more strokes
(by Rain Barclift)
Founder of Chinmoy Mission dies of heart attack
Oct 16, 2007
Sri Chinmoy is dead = Eh! Mission did a cry
Nobel Prize in economics goes to the proponents of mechanism design theory
Oct 15, 2007
Mechanism Design = Is damning scheme
Al Gore wins Nobel Peace Prize
Oct 13, 2007
Albert Arnold Gore = Grrr lead to a Nobel
Doris Lessing, author of The Golden Notebook, wins Nobel Prize in literature
Oct 12, 2007
The Golden Notebook = The token Nobel? Good!
Leak severs link to al-Qaeda's secrets
Oct 9, 2007
Unknown who spilled the beans = Now the U.S. helps Bin Laden know
(by Rain Barclift)
Vandal Punches Hole in a Monet in Paris
Oct 8, 2007
They left an impression = Rips Monet in hasty flee
(by Rain Barclift)
Laughing Matters in Clinton Campaign
Oct 4, 2007
We mock Clinton's laughter = Lots now muting her cackle
(by Rain Barclift)
Report Depicts Recklessness at Blackwater
Oct 3, 2007
Blackwater USA under fire = A cursed, unfit lawbreaker
Leaders of North and South Korea meet
Oct 2, 2007
Koreas' summit = Makes tourism
Hotel Charges $14,500 for Dessert!
Sep 25, 2007
The Fortress Stilt Fisherman Indulgence = First tell them he's financing our dessert
(by Rain Barclift)
Fukuda to be the new Japanese PM
Sep 24, 2007
Prime minister Yasuo Fukuda = I am a funky, studious premier
Ken Burns's new documentry debuts
Sep 23, 2007
The War: Documentary = Came true and worthy
Russia unveils Father Of All Bombs
Sep 14, 2007
Russia tests Father Of All Bombs = Tremor as blast abolishes stuff
(by Daniel O'Brien)
Football player pleads guilty of dogfighting
Sep 3, 2007
Michael Vick to plead guilt = Evil chump ace at it (dog kill)
(by Rain Barclift)
Sachin Tendulkar misses century
Jul 25, 2007
Olden Country Star = No Century At Lord's
Mrs. Clinton Debates Wearing Pink
Jul 24, 2007
Mrs. Clinton Debates Wearing Pink = Woman-president enabling tricks
(by Rain Barclift)
World's tallest man meets the shortest
Jul 17, 2007
The Odd Couple = Held up to co-ed?
(by Rain Barclift)
Iraqi PM: US can leave at any time
Jul 16, 2007
Iraq says to get out = To say to sarge: Quit
(by Rain Barclift)
US Senate double prize on bin Laden's head
Jul 15, 2007
Raises Osama's bounty = Money sat as our basis
(by Rain Barclift)
Paris Hilton back to her former life
Jul 13, 2007
A pretty vain heiress = Envy a paris tee shirt
(Rain Barclift)
Bush: I believe we can succeed in Iraq
Jul 12, 2007
Bush News Conference Today = We debouch crafty nonsense
(Rain Barclift)
A Senator's Moral High Ground Gets a Little Shaky
Jul 12, 2007
Escorting Vitter = Striving to erect
Anti-war protestor is active again
Jul 11, 2007
Cindy Sheehan = She achy in end
(Rain Barclift)
Intense heat wave hits Western U.S.
Jul 9, 2007
Hot western weather sets record = Wretched heat enters, worse rots
(Christine DeSimone)
Xbox Repairs Cost $1 billion; Microsoft shares drop
Jul 8, 2007
XBox mistakes cost Gates = Gismo setback taxes stox
(Christine DeSimone)
President spares Libby from prison
Jul 7, 2007
Libby escapes prison term = By oppressible miscreant
Study finds men talk as much as women
Jul 6, 2007
Men cannot shut up either = Mouth penchant reunites
Perjury charges hit supervisor
Jul 2, 2007
Supervisor Ed Jew = Ed vows perjuries
iPhone commanding premium price
Jul 1, 2007
iPhone craze = Haze on price
Michael Moore's new film is released
Jun 30, 2007
SiCKO documentary = Mockery and coitus
Web radio broadcasters protest against royalty hike
Jun 27, 2007
Day of Silence = Deafen cosily
Paris Hilton is released from the jail
Jun 26, 2007
Hilton freed = Rid the felon
Bush vetoes stem-cell research bill
Jun 20, 2007
Stem-cell bill vetoed = Cells' move belittled
Today is Father's Day
Jun 17, 2007
Father's day celebrated = Hereby flatter dads: Ace!
Fake toothpaste recalled
Jun 15, 2007
Fake Colgate toothpaste = Cheapskate to get a lot of
The Sopranos finale airs
Jun 14, 2007
Sopranos ends = Snoops snared
Paris Hilton back in jain after a brief release for medical problems
Jun 10, 2007
Paris Hilton in gaol = Altho' ailing, prison
Scientists turn mouse skin into stem cells
Jun 9, 2007
Mouse stem cell = Muscle omelets
Hilton let go from prison
Jun 8, 2007
Paris Hilton released = Hotels, airplane rides!
Bush and Putin discuss missile-defense
Jun 7, 2007
Bush-Putin deal = Hasten buildup?
Paris Hilton begins her jail sentence
Jun 4, 2007
Paris Hilton check-in = Prison? Ah, let chick in!
One of the Top 10 spammers nabbed
Jun 2, 2007
Robert Alan Solway = Reasonably low art
Creation Museum opens in Kentucky
Jun 1, 2007
Creationist museum opens = An emcee monist sours it up
(David J. Schwartz)
Coca-Cola buys Vitaminwater
May 25, 2007
Vitaminwater = I'm wet variant
Heart Attack Risk Seen in Drug for Diabetes
May 24, 2007
Avandia for diabetes? = Database infer: Avoid.
Gas prices all-time high
May 21, 2007
Gas prices highest = These piggish cars
The new Shrek sequel panned
May 19, 2007
Shrek the third = Shhh! Tired trek
Prince Harry will not go to Iraq
May 17, 2007
Prince Harry of Wales = War perils fancy hero
Chrysler bought by a private equity firm
May 16, 2007
Cerberus Capital = Replicate car, bus
Cruise Ship Runs Aground Off Alaska
May 15, 2007
Empress of the North = Oh! Refreshment Stop
Post Office to the First Amendment: Drop Dead
May 13, 2007
Postal rates rise = Assail protester
British PM to resign
May 11, 2007
Anthony Blair = Halt no brainy!
Paris Hilton campaigns for pardon from her prison sentence
May 10, 2007
Paris Hilton = I halt prison
Wolfowitz found guilty of arranging pay-raise for his girlfriend
May 9, 2007
World Bank Chief = Wolf banked rich
British queen concludes US visit
May 8, 2007
Queen visits US = Envies us; quits!
Spider-Man 3 is released
May 7, 2007
Spider-Man Three = Spin mere thread?
(Mick Tully)
Nicolas Sarkozy defeats Segolene Royal in French presidential elections
May 6, 2007
Nicholas Sarkozy = Nazi shocks Royal
Bay Area Bridge Overpass Collapses
May 1, 2007
Bay Area Rapid Transit = A trip by train, as a dare
Shooting at Virginia Tech campus
Apr 17, 2007
Virginia Tech campus = Civic US nightmare, Pa
Former Minong resident writes fort book
Apr 16, 2007
The United States of America = O, Custer's hit, in a defeat, mate!
Removalists Destroy Expensive Piano
Apr 15, 2007
Bosendorfer grand piano = So drop, anger and bonfire!
On Capitalism, Europe, and the World Bank
Apr 14, 2007
Noam Chomsky = Oh, mocks many!
Sophos to bar Second Life on work computers
Apr 13, 2007
Sophos Anti-virus = Outs rash VOIP sin
Leading Seaman Faye Turney is to sell her story
Apr 12, 2007
Leading Seaman Faye Turney is to sell her story = Yes, an ordinary female negotiates ruthlessly!
Iran enters new nuclear phase
Apr 11, 2007
Middle East arms race = Malice - desert's drama
Landlady's hair ordeal
Apr 10, 2007
Permanent hair colouring = A mop in rich ultra-green, no?
Splenda sales modestly up
Apr 9, 2007
Splenda sucralose = Scales - real pounds!
Divers seek two missing from cruise ship
Apr 8, 2007
The Sea Diamond = Deaths on media
Toxic bin fumes: drug of choice
Apr 7, 2007
Barnsley, South Yorkshire = Oh, sly! (Your trash-bins reek!)
British hostages now free
Apr 6, 2007
British hostages now free = Fighters? Obeisant shower
Son of a King
Apr 5, 2007
Author Stephen King = Gent thinks-up a hero
A Losing Battle
Apr 4, 2007
A visit to the emergency room = A move to more strict hygiene
Straight out of the top drawer
Apr 3, 2007
Claude Monet, Self Portrait = Coloured paints flatter me
Fighting resumes in Mogadishu
Apr 2, 2007
The Somali capital, Mogadishu = Hi pals, go aim held automatics
McDonald's Revives Quest To Abolish Word McJob
Apr 1, 2007
A McDonalds quarter-pounder with cheese and fries = Crowded inquest: Man's end, corpse had heart failure
Hand of God star in hospital
Mar 31, 2007
Diego Maradona = An arm? Good idea!
Iran demands Britain admit its sailors crossed border
Mar 30, 2007
Leading seaman Faye Turney = A fine lady eyes an argument
Iraq war anniversary
Mar 29, 2007
God bless America = Gas oil's embraced
Science students identify false claim by the drink manufacturer
Mar 28, 2007
GlaxoSmithKline = Oh, legal stink mix!
More than 100 dead in Russian coal mine
Mar 27, 2007
Coal Mine Disaster = Alarm! Sections die
Delays after Gatwick power fault
Mar 26, 2007
Gatwick Airport = Wait, grip cart, OK?
Soldier Recalled as Noble Person
Mar 25, 2007
Arlington National Cemetery = Cannon greet late military, no?
Belarus duplicity made clear by fresh arrests
Mar 24, 2007
President Lukashenko of Belarus = A brute flunks one's leadership, OK?
Clinton still ahead in Democrats' poll
Mar 23, 2007
Two thousand eight election = Could tie thee to Washington
Mom says it was a dog
Mar 22, 2007
Harris County Child Protective Services = Civil servants' rhetoric: 'Hi! Custody, creep!
Morgan Tsvangirai Sent to Hospital
Mar 21, 2007
President Robert Gabriel Mugabe = Empire beggar dabbles in torture
Zimbabwean opposition leader beaten
Mar 20, 2007
Morgan Tsvangirai = O! anagram striving!
London Olympics budget rises to £9.3bn
Mar 19, 2007
The London Olympic games = Logical to spend money? H'm.
White House fence climber caught
Mar 18, 2007
White House Intruder = Weirdo shut in eh? True.
St Patrick's Day celebrated around the world
Mar 17, 2007
St Patrick's Day celebrations = I sit and... ecstasy! Black porter!
Nothing Like Sun
Mar 16, 2007
William Shakespeare, The Bard of Avon = He, of silken phrase, at a live drama. Bow
School bans parents
Mar 15, 2007
Headmistress Deborah Carter = Chastise the drab dame's error
Councillors put off decision on nuclear power motion
Mar 14, 2007
Chernobyl Nuclear Power Station = A run on helicopter crews, notably
Tesco investigating petrol problems
Mar 13, 2007
Tesco petrol stations = Spot-test on oil traces
Cameron refuses to deny drug-taking at school
Mar 12, 2007
The Conservative Party Leader David Cameron = Mr Charlatanry - Ever-evasive Eton dope addict!
Making an appeal against the secondary school
Mar 11, 2007
The Department for Education and Skills = Daft kids learn, on hated Intel computers
Europe Takes the Lead in Fighting Climate Change
Mar 10, 2007
Europe Takes the Lead in Fighting Climate Change = Life: a nuke generating cheap domestic heat, light
Garuda in world's worst category
Mar 9, 2007
Garuda Indonesia Airlines = User: Oi! A dire Asian landing!
Libby Verdict Rocks the White House
Mar 8, 2007
Lewis Scooter Libby = Writs, bellicose boy!
Earthquake in Indonesia
Mar 7, 2007
Indonesian earthquake = A shaken nation queried
Illinois Senator Crosses Paths With Clinton
Mar 6, 2007
Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton = So, roll in M. Thatcher, an Iron Lady!
Veteran's Medical Center in lousy shape
Mar 5, 2007
Walter Reed Army Medical Center = Cremated direct? Lawyer, Marlene!
First total lunar eclipse in three years
Mar 4, 2007
Total eclipse of the Moon = I'm that fool on telescope!
Britain losing focus on hated speed camera
Mar 3, 2007
Safety Camera Partnerships = Refine trap. Cash-stream pays!
Local post offices overwhelmed
Mar 2, 2007
The United States Postal Service = It dispatches letters to avenues
Kiwi songbird drives animals crazy
Mar 1, 2007
Singer Hayley Westenra = Hearing a syren, sweetly
Dow dips 500 points
Feb 28, 2007
The Dow Jones Industrial Average = Jee! not devious share trading. Law?
Serbia called to account
Feb 27, 2007
Serbia called to account = A cold, Sebrenica act, lout
Prince Harry to be sent to Iraq with his regiment
Feb 26, 2007
The Blues and Royals Regiment = Enlisted Harry's on bugle, mate!
Train crashes in Lake District
Feb 25, 2007
Train crashes in Lake District = Heck! It derails cars in transit
Ireland still waiting for its first motorway services
Feb 24, 2007
Motorway Service Station = One's tray to its microwave
The car that pollutes like a truck
Feb 23, 2007
How do you double the value of a Trabant? = Vow to refuel? Ha-ha! Undoubtedly a taboo
International Post Corp. re-elects U.S. postmaster
Feb 22, 2007
Postmaster General = Regret no stamp sale
Dog groomer superglues ear after cutting it off
Feb 21, 2007
Seattle dog groomer = Motto: logs ear greed
Shuttle Atlantis Moves to Pad
Feb 20, 2007
National Aeronautics and Space Administration = I aid ace Captain. Rise, land on a moon - Saturn's Titan
Life on Mars?
Feb 19, 2007
Is there life on Mars? = Aliens? Mothers' rife!
New $1 coin announced
Feb 18, 2007
The Presidential Dollar = Head/tail? Roll it, spender!
The old fuddy-duddies have relented!
Feb 17, 2007
The Royal and Ancient Golf Club = A lunch? A bottle of clean, dry gin!
Let's be the generation that ends poverty in America
Feb 16, 2007
American poverty = I pry: Carve no meat?
Anti-Semitic group leader arrested in France
Feb 15, 2007
French anti-semites = Fine the miscreants!
Duchess of Cornwall to have a hysterectomy
Feb 14, 2007
Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, to have a hysterectomy = 'React stoutly, wife,' commands Charles. 'Heavy alcohol!'
Oil industry to tackle energy questions
Feb 13, 2007
The renewable energy industry = Hey! terribly new, sun-generated!
Gates Counters Putin's Words on U.S. Power
Feb 12, 2007
Gates Counters Putin's Words on U.S. Power = Won't cut down? Resurgent Russia opposes!
Junk Food Politics
Feb 11, 2007
Senator Barack Obama = A kebab-cartons aroma!
Hugh Hefner's tribute to Anna Nicole
Feb 10, 2007
The former Playboy centerfold Anna Nicole Smith = Her all, often in Mr Hefner's comic? Not today. Bye, Pal.
Football riot
Feb 9, 2007
Chinese Olympic football team = Claim: hit foe. Employ constable!
Aastronaut Lisa Nowak
Feb 8, 2007
Astronaut Lisa Nowak = A skirt on NASA outlaw?
Bird flu advice
Feb 6, 2007
The Food Standards Agency ~ do hydrogenated fat scans
Instead of Iraq, a battle all his own
Feb 5, 2007
Lt. Ehren Watada = Ah! war-tenet, lad?
Bird flu outbreak prompts culling
Feb 4, 2007
Bernard Matthews' turkey farm = Battery knew 'fast murder' harm
Humans blamed for climate change
Feb 3, 2007
Climate Change = Mega-technical!
Blair's legacy will be crisis management
Feb 2, 2007
Tony Blair's legacy = Obstinacy, largely
(By David Bourke)
Fenty Won't Sit With Laura Bush At Speech
Jan 31, 2007
The American First Lady, Laura Bush = I am after a cuter husband - Hillary's!
Israel suicide bombing
Jan 30, 2007
Suicide bombings = Scum, big in bodies
Tourists Ponder Loch Ness Monster's Feeding Times
Jan 29, 2007
Con-men hosts' shelter = the Loch Ness Monster!
Relief on the way for Canadian troops in Afghanistan
Jan 28, 2007
Canadian troops = A Draconian post
Zurich warns of Burns Supper risks
Jan 27, 2007
Haggis, a traditional Scottish dish = So tragic: I, a highland sadist, shot it!
Methodist Opposition to Bush Library
Jan 26, 2007
George W. Bush Presidential Library = Biography writers' bilge, under seal
State of the Union speech
Jan 25, 2007
State of the Union address = Strident tones of USA head
Date set for Diana death hearing
Jan 24, 2007
Diana, Princess of Wales = Paris? Nice, slow and safe!
The Clovis spear point
Jan 23, 2007
The Clovis spear point ~ Proves Neolithic past
Disney Royalty
Jan 22, 2007
Disney World, Florida ~ is wry Orlando fiddle
Clinton Seeks to Become First Female U.S. President
Jan 21, 2007
President Hillary Clinton = Lincoln is pretty hard-line!
Belly aches close Pingree School
Jan 20, 2007
An army marches on its stomach = Ham eh, masticators? (Many corns!)
Democrats step up battle over troops
Jan 19, 2007
Democrats step up battle over troops = Boast: detect more voters' support, pal!
Russian push for 2012 Moon shot
Jan 18, 2007
That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind ... Neil Armstrong = The moon is made of green Parmesan! Martian folk start planning stall, no?
Another botched execution
Jan 17, 2007
Another botched execution = O, toothache cured! Be next in?
Chewing gum to tackle obesity
Jan 16, 2007
Obesity-busting gum = Suggestion I'm tubby?
The Mexican tortilla famine
Jan 15, 2007
The Mexican tortilla famine = Exit - California lament them
Paramount chief resigns after less than two years
Jan 14, 2007
Paramount Pictures = A pun: Part, Tom Cruise?
Cocaine traces on every note tested
Jan 13, 2007
Nose narcotic? = Snort cocaine!
Borat film nominated for award
(by Ross Jones)
Jan 12, 2007
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan = Film, full of taboos broken on camera, agitates Kazak national furor, anger, hurt... Is nice.
Bush announces troop escalation
Jan 11, 2007
Troop escalation = A clot's operation!
Obese dogs to get diet pills
Jan 10, 2007
The canine diet medicine Slentrol = Demo indicates thinner clientele
New York probes gas-like odor
Jan 9, 2007
Gas smell alert in New York = Wager all smelt in Yonkers!
Bristol International Airport closed
Jan 8, 2007
Bristol International Airport = Pilots abort in torrential rain
Boy sails into the record books
Jan 6, 2007
A schoolboy sails the Atlantic = Boat's (he calls yacht) isolation
Seatbelt warning was given, say National Expres
Jan 5, 2007
National Express Coaches = Exceptional crash season
Passenger fears Heathrow baggage chaos
Jan 4, 2007
British Airports Authority = Abhor it! Hairy tourist trips
Mobile phone captures Iraq's cruelty
Jan 3, 2007
Mobile camera phones = Enable rope machismo
Farewell to Ford
Jan 2, 2007
American Ex-President Gerald Ford = Great dreams! (Replaced fired Nixon)
US death toll in Iraq reaches three thousand
Jan 1, 2007
US death toll in Iraq reaches three thousand = United States' rear HQ: A Hell huh? Decorations!
Saddam Hussein is executed
Dec 31, 2006
Saddam Hussein is executed = A US suit-mix, as he descended
All is fair in love and war
Dec 30, 2006
The Liberal Democrat Party = Hear a Lembit - Protractedly!
Six dead in Morecambe Bay crash
Dec 29, 2006
Morecambe Bay helicopter crash = Bob, eh? Come, search-party miracle
Saddam to hang at torture jail
Dec 28, 2006
Saddam Hussein's death sentence = See status dashed. Eichmann's end
Man sets self on fire to protest school move
Dec 24, 2006
Season's greetings = Easter eggs in, sons
NASA continues work on the International Space Station
Dec 23, 2006
The International Space Station = I train that telescope on NASA tin
British Airways Cancels Heathrow Flights Amid Fog
Dec 22, 2006
London Heathrow Airport = On halt: a dew-point horror
Bishop of Southwark denies being drunk
Dec 21, 2006
Bishop of Southwark = Oh sup's worth a fib OK?
Astronauts busy on the space station
Dec 20, 2006
The International Space Station = Threat: alien attentions, so panic!
Diaz Execution Raises Questions
Dec 19, 2006
Botched lethal injection = Job: to Hell! (Ethnic can't die...)
Theories thrive after defector's death
Dec 18, 2006
A Russian defector = Fate: rads, curies no?
Obesity epidemic in America
Dec 17, 2006
The United States of America = Cut meat! If not, heart disease
Mengistu found guilty of genocide
Dec 16, 2006
Mengistu Haile Mariam = Guilt. Aim: erase him, man!
Bishop not mugged
Dec 15, 2006
The Bishop of Southwark = To "Shhh!" if bar sot woke up
In death, Pinochet escapes justice
Dec 14, 2006
General Augusto Pinochet = Argue not, Chilean pegs-out!
The 420 mile gaffe
Dec 13, 2006
The London Ambulance Service = Bill doc on Manchester avenue
Obesity epidemic in America
Dec 12, 2006
United States of America = Dine out, taste a Mac, fries
Moscow freeze on poison inquiry
Dec 11, 2006
The Russian President = Putin hears dissenter
Pinochet was minutes from death, son says
Dec 10, 2006
General Augusto Pinochet = Altogether sanguine coup
Radiation poisoning inquiry ongoing
Dec 9, 2006
President of the Russian Federation = Sneer? Heed Putin's radiation efforts!
Flatulence leads jet to divert
Dec 8, 2006
Flatulence forces plane to divert = One farted feculent, evil crap. Lots!
Water on Mars!
Dec 7, 2006
We've found water on Mars, scientists say = Wise surface navy's wet demonstrations
Police will quiz Blair over 'cash for honours' affair
Dec 6, 2006
Scotland Yard's Operation Ribble = Tribe's paid loan - Baronetcy; Lords!
Re-elected by wide margin, Chavez promises more radical turn towards socialism
Dec 5, 2006
Re-elected by wide margin, Chavez promises more radical turn towards socialism = Caracas, Venezuela: President Commie Bore draws crowd. (Military soldiers' might)
World's oldest record shop in the death grip of a developer
Dec 4, 2006
Spillers Record Shop = Prosper, or discs' hell?
Castro's absence raises more questions
Dec 3, 2006
Fidel Castro's birthday = Fishy... Slab, red dictator?
Ford sales slump
Dec 2, 2006
Ford sales slump = US fell - mass drop
Stop the aircraft scare stories - the risk is remote, doctors say
Dec 1, 2006
Alexander Litvinenko's body in a sealed container = 'Nannies' darkened: Toxic radiation levels!
BA says low traces of radiation found on two aircraft
Nov 30, 2006
London's Heathrow Airport = Land 'n' what? Isotope horror!
Disturbances hit immigration centre
Nov 29, 2006
Harmondsworth Detention Centre = Rather discontented men throw on
"Buy Nothing Day" celebrated
Nov 25, 2006
No Purchase Necessary = Reassurance on psyche
Shoppers rush to holiday sales
Nov 24, 2006
Black Friday = Backyard fil
Nintendo's new game console sold out in 60 seconds
Nov 20, 2006
Wii Game Console = I'm new social ego
OJ Simpson to release If-I-Did-It book
Nov 19, 2006
Orenthal James Simpson = Jest on misshapen moral
James Bond movie debuts
Nov 17, 2006
Bond in Casino Royale = An icon so debonairly!
Dozens of companies caught in stock option backdating
Nov 13, 2006
Stock option scandal = Not OK! Scold captains
Election results seen as a referendum on Bush administration
Nov 11, 2006
Bush administration = I trust bad minions? Ha!
by Lucy W. (hearmesmile123ATyahoo.com)
Democrats take house in mid-term elections
Nov 8, 2006
Democrats win house = A true wisdom chosen
Microsoft and Novell call truce
Nov 5, 2006
Microsoft, Novell ink deal = Damn-fool evils interlock
Obesity epidemic in America
Nov 3, 2006
United States of America = Customised Fattie Arena
Where's the saving in daylight saving?
Oct 31, 2006
Daylight-saving Time = That misgiving delay
by Larry Robinson (midimagicATsbcglobal.net)
Flu vaccines 'not worth the trouble'
Oct 29, 2006
Flu vaccination = Cavil a function
Britney's baby named
Oct 26, 2006
Jayden James = Easy named: JJ
Firefox 2.0 released
Oct 24, 2006
Firefox browser = Fix errors of Web
Obama considers White House run
Oct 23, 2006
B. Obama for president = Probe: Bona-fide smart!
Pakistani cricket players using banned steroid
Oct 17, 2006
Pakistan Cricket Board = A bad rep? It isn't crack, OK!
by Mark McNamara (spinmeayarn hotmail.com)
Kiran Desai wins Booker prize
Oct 13, 2006
"The Inheritance of Loss" = Finest, honest, heroical
Turkish writer wins Nobel
Oct 12, 2006
Writer Orhan Pamuk = Hum! Paint rare work
North Korea performs nuclear test
Oct 9, 2006
Korean Peninsula = Nukes on airplane?
by Mark McNamara (spinmeayarn hotmail.com)
More pages recount approaches from Foley
Oct 7, 2006
Congressman Mark Foley = Sly menace grooms Frank
Congressman in email scandal
Oct 6, 2006
Congressman Mark Foley = Grr! A flaky common sense
Big Bang researchers won Nobel
Oct 5, 2006
George Smoot and John Mather = Ho Ho! Granted major gemstone
Turkish man hijacks plane
Oct 4, 2006
Hakan Ekinci = Ah! Inane kick
Steve Irwin's children pay tribute
Sep 29, 2006
The Crocodile Hunter = Cute Hero to Children
by Mark McNamara (spinmeayarn hotmail.com)
Fugitive CEO arrested
Sep 27, 2006
Jacob 'Kobi' Alexander = Bonk jailbox, dear ace!
Earth warmest in 12000 years
Sep 26, 2006
Earth too hot = Oh, threat too!
Rumor: Bin Laden Gone
Sep 24, 2006
Bin Laden dead? = An idle, bad end
Author sends spoof letter in literary rivalry
Sep 23, 2006
Eve de Harben = Ever been had?
Thai PM loses power in coup
Sep 20, 2006
Thaksin ousted = Outside! Thanks.
Spinach linked to E. Coli
Sep 16, 2006
Spinach recalled = Hell! Sacred panic.
HP head rolls in scandal
Sep 13, 2006
Patricia C. Dunn = Captain in crud
Apple iTunes to sell Disney movies
Sep 12, 2006
iTunes movies = Invites mouse
Intel lays off 10,500 people
Sep 7, 2006
The Intel Corporation = Tailor one rotten chip
Katie Couric debuts on CBS Evening News
Sep 6, 2006
Evening News = New evenings
Calderon declared Mexico's president-elect
Sep 5, 2006
Felipe Calderon = Poll, define race
Pluto no longer a planet
Aug 29, 2006
Planet Pluto = Lop petulant!
British Airways in controversy
Aug 28, 2006
British Airways = This is war by Air
IBM buys Internet security company
Aug 24, 2006
Internet Security Systems = Scientists neuter mystery
Paramount Pictures drops Tom Cruise
Aug 23, 2006
Tom Cruise = I'm cut, sore
Shuttle ready for launch
Aug 17, 2006
Space Shuttle Atlantis = The stainless catapult
Fierce war rages between Israel and Lebanon
Aug 16, 2006
Mid-East = Sad time
AOL's privacy goof-up
Aug 15, 2006
AOL.com = Am loco!
Eric Oemig running for Washington state Senate
Aug 14, 2006
Eric Oemig, Wa Senator = Wise, nice orator, a gem
Brother rules as Fidel recovers
Aug 13, 2006
Raul Castro = Rout rascal!
Thousands evacuated as volcano threatens to erupt
The Mayon volcano = Yon lava cometh, no?
Aug 9, 2006
Analysis: Chavez is Latin America's heir-apparent to aging Castro
Aug 8, 2006
United States of America = I'm Castro-infatuated, see.
Sep 11 movie opens
Aug 7, 2006
"World Trade Center" = Lewd terror act. End.
Mel Gibson spouts racist remarks
Aug 6, 2006
Mel Gibson, anti-Semite = Mean gentile sobs, "I'm it!"
by Jeffery Gibson
Fidel Castro hospitalized
Aug 5, 2006
Post-Castro Cuba = Stab acts or coup
Microsoft announces iPod competitor
Jul 25, 2006
Microsoft Zune = Frozen to music
Director M. Night Shyamalan's new movie released
Jul 21, 2006
Lady in the Water = Rated: whiny tale
Cruise ship mishap injures dozens
Jul 20, 2006
Crown Princess = Crisp new scorn
Israel and Hezbollah continue on the warpath
Jul 19, 2006
Israel, Hezbollah = Ablaze or hellish
Miss World Contest May Create 20,000 Polish Jobs
Jul 15, 2006
The Miss World Beauty Contest = Study Charline's sweet bottom!
Mexico peso rallies
Jul 6, 2006
Mexico peso rallies = Miracle - Exposes oil!
The World Cup slogan
Jun 30, 2006
"A Time to Make Friends" = A diktat from enemies
The World Cup slogan
Jun 28, 2006
"A Time to Make Friends" = I dream it - fans meet, OK?
US to deploy interceptor missiles in Japan
Jun 27, 2006
Patriot interceptor missiles = Timeless airstrip protection
Taliban members killed
Jun 26, 2006
Taliban militants killed in Afghanistan = Inhabitants' fatal alien-killings, damn it!
Inspiration behind Edison's inventions discovered
Jun 25, 2006
Thomas Alva Edison = Do Have Salami Snot
Sears Tower Was Never In Danger
Jun 24, 2006
Sears Tower Was Never In Danger = Read "New Savage Terrors" in news
Ann Coulter's hits new low in her new book
Jun 23, 2006
'Godless: The Church of Liberalism' = O, hell! Coulter's highbred fascism!
US Church elects first woman chief
Jun 22, 2006
The Episcopal Church = Christ Chapel coup eh?
Ice Hockey Championship
Jun 21, 2006
The Stanley Cup final = Let fans hunt ice play
Archbishop of Canterbury hints at schism?
Jun 20, 2006
Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori = Fear arch-risk, if she's in the top job
Thames Water, the biggest leaker of them all
Jun 19, 2006
Thames Water = Ah! Met waster?
Heather Mills faces allegations of love for money
Jun 16, 2006
Heather Mills McCartney = Her math: male clients cry!
New name needed for the Birmingham and Black Country region
Jun 14, 2006
Birmingham, Solihull, Coventry, Walsall, Wolverhampton, Sandwell, Dudley, Telford and Wrekin = Wolver-Birming-Well-Sall-Hulls-Land (very oddly, we fail'd to calm down 'n think up a shorter name)
Heather Mills revealed to be a star in adult publications
Jun 13, 2006
Heather Mills McCartney = Chesty thrill, cameramen!
Saturn and Mars will 'meet' in the bee swarm
Jun 12, 2006
The Rings of Saturn = Gases forth, in turn
Scottish orchestra seeks new national anthem
Jun 11, 2006
The Royal Scottish National Orchestra = Och! a solo eh? Artistry in tartan clothes!
Rooney Flies Back Home
Jun 8, 2006
The World Cup Finals in Germany = Run PR on Wayne's medical flight
Mayor opposes Thames salt water plant
Jun 7, 2006
Water companies = Moan: waste, price
Canada Holds 17 In Alleged Bomb Plot
Jun 6, 2006
Ammonium nitrate = A term: ammunition
School renames classes in a fit of political correctness
Jun 5, 2006
Bonnyrigg Primary school = Naming orgy, so-horribly PC
British Deputy PM has affair with his secretary
Jun 4, 2006
Miss Tracey Temple = MP's steamily erect!
Oil workers abducted in Nigeria
Jun 3, 2006
Nigeria oil workers abducted = A riotous rebel wing raid deck
British Deputy PM has affair with his secretary
Jun 2, 2006
Diary secretary = Career's dirty, ya?
New Orleans sinking
Jun 1, 2006
New Orleans 'sinking even faster' = Frank, so-intense levee warnings
Cabbies can't wear World Cup garb
May 31, 2006
Blackpool's council = Uncool cab pillocks!
British Deputy PM in hot water
May 30, 2006
The Deputy Prime Minister, John Prescott = Typist-jumper, this incompetent 'red hero'?
East Timor's Capital Descends Into Chaos
May 28, 2006
East Timor = Riots, mate!
Indonesia earthquake
May 27, 2006
Indonesia earthquake = Shaken: a dire equation
B.C. court allows tobacco lawsuit to go ahead
May 26, 2006
Imperial Tobacco = I boo malpractice
Church leaders blast Madonna stunt
May 25, 2006
Madonna Ritchie = Dominican Hater
(by Schatzi Crabtree)
Racehorse undergoes surgery
May 24, 2006
Barbaro Is Able to Stand After Surgery = Stable arranges Ruby for adroit beast!
Republicans' Strategy
May 23, 2006
Elections Are Crux Of GOP's Strategy = Large tax cuts - fine poetry, Scrooges!
Beatle McCartney and wife to part ways
May 22, 2006
Heather McCartney = Hatchet Mercenary
Same name gaffes result in 1,500 criminal records
May 21, 2006
The Criminal Records Bureau = Botch rare surname - ridicule!
St Patrick's Cathedral stand-off
May 19, 2006
Afghan asylum-seekers = Ask refugee lass: A hymn?
Lead exposure causes Attention-Deficit Disorder
May 16, 2006
Attention Deficit Disorder = A stern doctor identified it
Bush's addictions
May 15, 2006
George Walker Bush = Rake, who glugs beer
(by Art Day)
Cannibal 'must never be released'
May 12, 2006
Armin Meiwes = Maims weiner
Rumsfeld defends CIA pick
May 11, 2006
General Michael Hayden = Energy-man, he'll head CIA!
Injured Rooney a World Cup doubt
May 10, 2006
Manchester United's star footballer Wayne Rooney = Yo! teen owner's only fractured his metatarsal bone!
Study reveals secrets of human attraction
May 9, 2006
Sex pheromones = Express 'em? Oh no!
Make claims to be "The Earl of Buckingham" = Humble fake
May 7, 2006
a right con! =
Bogus morality plagues the Prescott affair
May 6, 2006
"The Spectator" = Hate Prescott!
The politician that freed a thousand criminals
May 1, 2006
Home Secretary Charles Clarke = Sack the moral screecher early!
Don't mourn loss of slots here
Apr 29, 2006
Slot machines = Scam in hotels!
Police charge Alabama teacher
Apr 28, 2006
Sharon Linton Rutherford = Stunner, or horrid? Not half!
Microwave used in fatal attack
Apr 27, 2006
Microwave oven = O Man! Revive cow
Carpenter works in the buff
Apr 26, 2006
Carpenter Percy Honniball = Cry: "Chap in - repellant boner!"
Iran Rejects Deadline on Uranium Enrichment
Apr 25, 2006
Uranium enrichment = True in Iran, men - Much!
New satellite ready for launch
Apr 24, 2006
The Earth-observing satellite CALIPSO = NASA telescope-thrill site, right above!
Title Nine is proving athletics aren't just for men
Apr 23, 2006
Sports bra = Traps orbs!
Deep Throat's Other Secret
Apr 22, 2006
Deep Throat = Red-hot tape!
Tom Cruise to eat placenta?
Apr 20, 2006
Placenta recipes = Spice natal crepe
Iranian President goes ahead with nuke plans
Apr 19, 2006
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad = Ah! odium, jehad madman
Long-distance journey of a fast food order
Apr 18, 2006
McDonald's Cheeseburger = Cue's: mongrel; cheddar; BSE
Berlusconi refuses to concede
Apr 17, 2006
The Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi = Billionaire optimises this criminal venture
Generals call for Rumsfeld's ouster
Apr 16, 2006
Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld = Rule condescended elder army staff
Prince Harry completes military training
Apr 11, 2006
Royal Military Academy Sandhurst = Army-trained duty's a scholarly aim
GM in trouble
Apr 10, 2006
General Motors Corporation = More petrol (or gas) into car, no?
City marks engineer's 200 years
Apr 9, 2006
The Clifton Suspension Bridge = Hot topic's Brunel's fine design
Downing Street cat Humphrey dies
Apr 8, 2006
Number Ten Downing Street = Mog deterrent went, in snub
NTL acquires Virgin Mobile
Apr 7, 2006
Virgin Mobile takeover = Grieve: market oblivion
Caspar Weinberger, RIP
Apr 6, 2006
"America never had a wiser patriot, nor Britain a truer friend." -Margaret Thatcher = A tartar, her narrative rhetoric infatuated admirer Caspar Weinberger? Not him!
GM sells major stake in GMAC
Apr 5, 2006
General Motors Corporation = O-o! (Earnings per motorcar lot)
PM dismisses Brown rift rumours
Apr 4, 2006
Number Ten Downing Street = Resentment untied G. Brown
Bush's ratings down
Apr 3, 2006
Bush's Popularity Reaches New Low = A poll, ran by White House, screws-up!
Security Council rebukes on nukes
Apr 2, 2006
Security Council Pressures Tehran = Super-countries' nuclear hysterics
Class will do things backward for a day
Apr 1, 2006
April Fool's Day = Diary: spoof all!
Labour MP tells Blair to let Brown take over
Mar 31, 2006
New Labour Party = Ay! Brown up later!
Sea Harrier Retires
Mar 30, 2006
Farewell, Sea Harrier = Free a war hell-raiser!
British Airways flies to Albania
Mar 29, 2006
British Airways to start flights to Albania = I bow, as BA Tristars' T-tails fly high to Tirana
Academy appointments for trio
Mar 28, 2006
United States Air Force Academy = Defend America! (Russia yet to act)
BAA to shut Heathrow's Terminal 2
Mar 27, 2006
London Airport's Terminal Two = NW Airlines motor to Portland
SAS frees Kember and Canadian hostages
Mar 24, 2006
British hostage Norman Kember = The SAS 'Rambo Men' broke-in, right?
Clarke comments fuel loans row
Mar 21, 2006
The Labour Party treasurer Jack Dromey = Truer Euro art. Pay back? Her Majesty: "Lord!"
St. Patrick's Day
Mar 17, 2006
Saint Patrick's Day = A tipsy drink? A cast!
Mind the Tube map
Mar 16, 2006
David Ellis, the Head of Intellectual Property, Transport for London = Ho-ho! droll fun... I plan solicitor for retyped patented-letters vandal
China's smoking threat
Mar 15, 2006
Benson and Hedges cigarettes = Best dog-ends, China teenagers!
London drought
Mar 14, 2006
London hosepipe ban = Ho, no plebeian ponds!
Sen. Orrin Hatch connects Saddam and Al Qaeda
Mar 13, 2006
Senator Orrin Hatch = A tinhorn orchestra
Iraqi Abu Gharib prison to close
Mar 10, 2006
Abu Ghraib prison = Bush: "I grip no Arab!"
UN Security Council to discuss Iran
Mar 8, 2006
United Nations Security Council = Stoic unity: discontinue nuclear!
Iran unshaken by UN threats
Mar 6, 2006
Iran's nuclear programme = "More!" Ran rulers' campaign
Video shows Bush warned about the hurricane
Mar 5, 2006
White House & Katrina = Ha, Authorities Knew!
Beam comes loose in the Scottish Parliament
Mar 4, 2006
The Scottish Parliament = Months late at THIS price?
Scottish Water 'costs more but gives worse service than all English firms
Mar 3, 2006
Scottish Water = That is, to screw
Overnight weather forecast: 'nasty'
Mar 2, 2006
The National Weather Service forecast = Chief event alert: Wear those raincoats!
More than 53 million pounds taken in Britain's biggest robbery
Feb 27, 2006
Fifty three million pounds = This pitiful, modern felony
£50m. UK cash heist
Feb 24, 2006
The Securitas depot, Tonbridge = Got redistributed notes cheap?
War crimes suspect still at large
Feb 22, 2006
General Ratko Mladic = Mark, all - genocide art
Signs of life in buried Philippine school
Feb 20, 2006
Phillippines mudslide = Pupils impeded in hills
US Congress Tackles Surveillance
Feb 19, 2006
Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act = Vast electrical fun - crinoline negligee!
US Congress Tackles Surveillance
Feb 17, 2006
Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act = Generates electronic vigilance, in full
UK bans public smoking
Feb 16, 2006
The English public house = Pint? Oh! such huge bellies!
Bush critizied for illegal spying
Feb 15, 2006
George Bush is spying on us = Nosy gossip-bugger in US eh?
Duck! Cheney blasts pal
Feb 14, 2006
Vice President Dick Cheney = Spy nice, thick red evidence
Prime Minister Tony Blair
Feb 13, 2006
Labour Prime Minister = "More spin? True. I'm Blair!"
160 British MPs oppose plan to end £1bn Post Office contract
Feb 12, 2006
Royal Mail postal service = I may lose parcels to rival
Google's new search feature seeks greater access to personal computers
Feb 11, 2006
Personal computer = Apple-core nostrum
Supermarket roof collapses in Germany
Feb 10, 2006
German roofing skills = Firm gang kills sooner!
President Bush's ratings plummet
Feb 9, 2006
George W Bush's approval ratings = War is grave, boss. Graph to plunge
Scotland cardinal
Feb 8, 2006
Cardinal Keith O'Brien = AKA horrible incident
German predator tempts gas giant BOC
Feb 7, 2006
British Oxygen Company = Nasty, grimy, xenophobic
Neighbourhood louts are named and shamed
Feb 6, 2006
Anti Social Behaviour Orders = O hubris! a controversial idea
Iran's Ahamdinejad hits back at nuclear pressure
Feb 5, 2006
Nuclear facilities = Nile clerics au-fait
Beef export to Japan resumes
Feb 4, 2006
American beef exports to Japan = Jap: "Meat? Toxic an' BSE-prone fare
President Bush to deliver State of the Union Address
Jan 30, 2006
State of the Union Address = So, father tuned-in set. Soda!
Asian shares fall amid oil price jitters
Jan 20, 2006
Steadily rising oil price = Spirit rose daily. Ceiling?
Bachelet promises an inclusive regime
Jan 19, 2006
Michelle Bachelet = H'm, electable, Chile?
Spy Agency Data After Sep 11 Led FBI to Dead Ends
Jan 18, 2006
National Security Agency = Tail, to enrage any US cynic
Taiwan breeds green-glowing pigs
Jan 17, 2006
Taiwanese fluorescent pig = Pleasure: taste of nice wings!
Taiwan breeds green-glowing pigs
Jan 14, 2006
Taiwanese fluorescent pigs = Porcine geniuses? Flaw: taste
Blair says Iran might face UN sanctions
Jan 13, 2006
Enriched uranium = Hum! Reduce in Iran
Bishop reveals
Jan 12, 2006
Bishop Thomas Gumbleton = Theologian's bomb thumps!
Musical celebrates its record-breaking run
Jan 11, 2006
The Phantom of the Opera = Oh, fete the pop marathon!
Spacecraft to Bring Home Comet Dust and Clues
Jan 10, 2006
NASA's Stardust Spacecraft = "SS Data Capturer" scans fast!
British MP Charles Kennedy steps down after admitting his drinking problem
Jan 9, 2006
Scots Lib Dems split over Kennedy = Drink-obsessed contempt's lively!
Canadian Prime Minister involved in numerous scandals
Jan 8, 2006
Paul Martin = A Primal nut
Hostel collapse in Mecca
Jan 7, 2006
Pilgrim hostel collapses in Mecca = Calm, I'll plot seismograph science
Media crackdown in Iran
Jan 5, 2006
President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad = Madman hounds media. Jehad tripe!
Fires Ravage Oklahoma City, Texas Towns
Jan 4, 2006
Oklahoma grass-fires = Area has so-grim folks
No body in Playboy India
Jan 3, 2006
The Playboy Centrefold = Behold only pretty face
Russians face raise in gas prices
Jan 2, 2006
Russian gas price hike = Huge raise risks panic
French ban petrol in cans amid fear of New Year riots
Jan 1, 2006
French ban petrol in cans = CNN: Brains to help France!
Hilton Hotels to Buy U.K. Lodging Business for $5.71 Billion
Dec 31, 2005
Hilton Hotels Corp = Hot trollop's niche?
Schild sparks Austria celebrations
Dec 30, 2005
Marlies Schild and Nicole Hosp = Cold hillsides' champions earn
Creationism evolves into Intelligent Design
Dec 29, 2005
Creation Science = Anti-science Core
Warner Music subpoenaed
Dec 28, 2005
Warner Music = Run wire scam
Fairfax Gunman's Rampage Detailed
Dec 27, 2005
Nathan Cheatham = A hatchet-man? Nah!
Court rules against Intelligent Design
Dec 26, 2005
Intelligent Design = Ill - Needing Testing
Why is gold rising?
Dec 24, 2005
What has made gold so precious? = A shrewd cad's moolah - it goes up!
New York transit strike ends
Dec 23, 2005
New York transit strike = Yonkers wit: "Trains? Trek!"
British MP Charles Kennedy having drinking problems
Dec 22, 2005
Liberal Democrats' Leader Charles Kennedy = See me drink claret, brandy, cold real-ales, eh?
Israeli Prime Minister admitted
Dec 21, 2005
Ariel Sharon in hospital after minor stroke = Relish horror? No. Fat Israeli patient's OK, man
New York metro strike
Dec 20, 2005
The Transit Workers' Union = Shirkers! No train went out
British spy in IRA unveiled
Dec 19, 2005
Denis Donaldson = Aids London's end
EU leaders hail new budget deal
Dec 18, 2005
European budget agreed = And EU pegged our rebate
Gang founder executed
Dec 15, 2005
Stanley Tookie Williams = So, timely kill awaits one?
Oil depot blast is 'worst' in peacetime Europe
Dec 12, 2005
Hertfordshire Oil Storage Terminal = Firemen: Throat horror - lit gas, diesel
Telegraph headline
Dec 11, 2005
"US out in the cold at world climate talks" = Truth's oil-well lunatics' mood attacked
London retires red doubledeckers
Dec 9, 2005
The London Routemaster bus = Last monster honoured. Tube?
Saddam Hussein refuses to attend the court
Dec 7, 2005
Saddam boycotts his trial = Sly, mad dictator: "Tosh! bias!"
China orders 150 Airbus jets
Dec 6, 2005
Huge Chinese Airbus order = Hi! Sure heard Boeing curse!
Incredibly emotional service. Belfast did him proud
Dec 5, 2005
George Best's funeral = Sure Belfast, go green
More in U.S. Expressing Doubts About Death Penalty
Dec 4, 2005
The US death penalty = Spy that Utah needle
Justice Staff Saw Texas Districting As Illegal
Dec 3, 2005
Texas congressional redistricting plan = Inept state land-riggers, or classic Nixon?
UK pubs can now apply for 24 hour opening times
Dec 2, 2005
New licensing laws = We'll scan wines, gin
Bugatti announce fastest ever road car
Dec 1, 2005
Bugatti Veyron = Vanity, but goer!
Supreme Court Nominee favors special interest groups
Nov 30, 2005
Samuel Alito = I am a sellout
Balloon hurts two at Macy's Parade
Nov 29, 2005
The Macy's Parade Disaster: Balloon Falls, Hits Two = Blasted shop's 'craft was lethal - no air-miles today!
Spill in Chinese river
Nov 28, 2005
Environmental disaster = Vile stream rends nation
Palestinians take control of Gaza crossing
Nov 27, 2005
Israelis Hand Off Gaza Crossing = Rafah scission: flags organized
Spill in China Brings Danger, and Cover-Up
Nov 26, 2005
Jilin Petrochemical Company = Joy! Cheap mop, criminal client?
Celebrate Buy Nothing Day!
Nov 25, 2005
Buy Nothing Day = Buy? Do anything!
British government considering whether to invest in a new generation of nuclear power
Nov 24, 2005
Radioactive waste = Caveat: so-dire wait
Lobbyist Jack Abramoff's partner pleads guilty in bribery case
Nov 23, 2005
Michael Scanlon = Cash: Moan in cell?
Humane Society to sue over animal cruelty
Nov 22, 2005
Humane Society of the United States = Eye Ohio hens' fate. Dictate: must stun
New Harry Potter movie released
Nov 21, 2005
Goblet of Fire = Ole! Big effort
Alito nominated as Miers withdraws
Nov 20, 2005
Supreme Court Nominee Samuel Alito = Lieu, autonomous Miers replacement?
Duo arrested in corruption case
Nov 19, 2005
U.S. Accuses Pair of Rigging Iraq Contracts = Cure: CIA acts on gross quasi-pricing graft
Latest Poll News
Nov 18, 2005
Republican defections increase = Rapid US cabinet conference: "Lies!"
Europe's most powerful rocket launched
Nov 17, 2005
Ariane rocket launch = UN: hark acceleration!
The failed Amman bomber arrested
Nov 16, 2005
Sajida Rishawi = A "Jihad" is... is war
Bush goes to Asia
Nov 15, 2005
President Bush in Far East = Friendship stature? Beans!
Riots continue in France
Nov 14, 2005
Citroens afire = I.e. France riots
Democrats running behind in fundraising
Nov 13, 2005
Democrats Losing Race For Funds = Slogan: "Offer credit-card sums, no?"
US Senate Approves Limiting Rights of Detainees
Nov 12, 2005
US Senate Approves Limiting Rights of Detainees = Guantanamo elite: "It's dire, fight oppressiveness!"
Suicide bombers kill innocent in Amman
Nov 11, 2005
Suicide bombers strike Amman = I am a sick brute. Dismembers, no?
New York City chooses Bloomberg again
Nov 10, 2005
Michael R. Bloomberg re-elected = Hell, I emerge, clobber Democrat!
Pentagon Plans Tighter Control of Interrogation
Nov 9, 2005
Interrogation techniques = CEO tenet: "Hurting no Iraqis"
Pirates attack cruise liner
Nov 8, 2005
The Seabourn Spirit = Surprise in the boat!
Violence and looting in France
Nov 7, 2005
Paris violence = Epic, evil arson
Violent protests at the Summit of the Americas
Nov 6, 2005
Anti-U.S. Protests Flare at Summit = Riot latest: partisans must fume!
President Bush slides in polls
Nov 5, 2005
Bush's Popularity Reaches New Low = Or, public's answer helps: 'Way Out', eh?
CIA runs secret prisons
Nov 4, 2005
CIA covert prison system = Secret Company visitors
New documentary exposes Wal-Mart
Nov 3, 2005
"Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price" = Watch the film show (or clip) to rage!
Samuel Alito nominated for Supreme Court
Nov 2, 2005
Judge Samuel A. Alito = Jailed a US mega-lout
VP Cheney's Chief of Staff implicated
Nov 1, 2005
Lewis "Scooter" Libby indicted = Cite wildly indiscreet boobs
Iranian President rants against Israel
Oct 31, 2005
Iranian President = Insane rant! Die! RIP!
Libby indicted in outing of CIA agent Valerie Wilson
Oct 30, 2005
Valerie Plame Wilson = Woman: "See, I'll prevail!"
Supreme Court nominee withdraws
Oct 29, 2005
Harriet Miers = Mrs: "Ah, I retire!"
Author Dan Brown Sued
Oct 28, 2005
Da Vinci Code plagiarism trial = Voiced aim: grill parasitic Dan
Wal-Mart: No Unhealthy People Wanted
Oct 27, 2005
Wal-Mart's board of directors = Fact: Lord! aim's to rob rewards
Unisys charged for overbilling the US govt
Oct 26, 2005
Unisys Corporation = Priority: cons USA, no?
Tom DeLay in money-laundering scandal
Oct 25, 2005
Republican leader Tom DeLay = Party double-dealer: "I'm clean!"
Bush wants his lawyer for the US Supreme Court
Oct 24, 2005
Harriet Miers = Smart! I rehire
Members of the Syrian government implicated in assassination
Oct 23, 2005
The Syrian Government = Avengers' hit-men try-on
Hurricane Wilma tears into Mexico
Oct 22, 2005
Hurricane Wilma = Alarm: I chew, ruin
Vice President Cheney to Resign?
Oct 21, 2005
Cheney resignation rumors = Trash my sinecure? No, ignore!
China expands military budget
Oct 20, 2005
China's military budget = Ay! I.D. inscrutable might
Saddam faces court
Oct 19, 2005
Saddam Hussein goes on trial = This man's deal is: Guard; Noose
Cheney's office is a focus in Valerie Plame leak case
Oct 18, 2005
Vice President Cheney = Ripe, stenchy evidence
The latest storm ties the 72-year-old record
Oct 17, 2005
Tropical storm Wilma = Oct. 'low' - air trims palm!
Thousands killed and displaced in the earthquake in South Asia
Oct 15, 2005
The Asian earthquake = A shaken quit the area
Briton Harold Pinter wins Nobel Prize in Literature
Oct 14, 2005
H. Pinter, Author = Hurrah! I net top!
Angela Merkel becomes the first woman Chancellor of Germany
Oct 13, 2005
Angie D. Merkel = I, Legend maker
Tsunami kills hundreds of thousands in Asia
Dec 24, 2004
The Asian tsunami = It's nausea in math.
Mel Gibson releases his blockbuster movie, Apr 2004
The Passion of the Christ = Oh, Spot Theist Franchise!
(Martin Fried-Lee)
Anti-war demonstrations continue across the world Mar 2003
Stop the War = A Step Worth
(Vivia Nikolaidou & Giannis Nikolaidi)
Twin towers of the World Trade Center in New York City topple in an apparent act of dastardly terrorism. Sep 11, 2001
World Trade Center = Lewd Terror Act; End.
Florida votes get recounted due to narrow margin in the 2000 presidential elections. Nov 8, 2000
The Florida Vote Recount = Done To Cover Their Fault
Republican candidate George W. Bush. Nov 7, 2000
George W. Bush = He Grew Bogus
Microsoft launches the successor to Windows 98. Sep 14, 2000
Windows Me = New wisdom
World prepares for perhaps the most-feared date in history. Dec 1999
Year Two Thousand = A Year to Shut Down
John F. Kennedy, Jr. is presumed dead--after the search and rescue team failed to find him, his wife, Carolyn Bessette, and her sister Lauren within 48 hours of searching at sea. Jul 1999
Carolyn Bessette = Recent Lost by Sea
(Bruce Horowitz)
UK's Prince Edward and Sophie Rhys Jones engaged, scandalous tabloid headlines make things difficult Jun 1999
Edward and Sophie = Paranoid She'd Wed = Who'd End Paradise
(Lee Sefton)
New York policeman faces 30 years to life in brutal beating of Haitian immigrant Jun 1999
Officer Justin Volpe = Suffer joint, evil cop
(Pure Venal Dwarf)
News: NATO continues expanding the scope of its operation in the Balkans Apr 1999
NATO vs. a Molosevic = Soon a Slovic Vietnam!
(A Cornille)
News: NATO's Operation Allied Force continues its relentless attack on Yugolasvia Apr 1999
Allied Force = Oil-led farce = Farce! Old lie!
(Dave Allen)
News: Slobodan Milosevic's atrocities push thousands of ethnic Albanians out of Kosovo Apr 1999
Slobodan Milosevic = O, I'm an evil, cold boss!
(Larry Hussar)
President Milosevic =
Is epic devil monster
Demonic evil persist
I, devil, creep, sin most
(John Kannapell)
News: Impeachment proceedings for US President Clinton in full swing. Feb 1999
Impeach Clinton = Let Monica pinch
(Casey McMullen)
Impeach Clinton =
Point: cancel him =
Then clip Monica
(Bruce Horowitz)
News: The movie Octobor Sky opens. Feb 1999
October Sky = Rocket Boys
The movie is based on Rocket Boys, a memoir by Homer "Sonny" Hickam
News: Disgraced Newt Gingrich resigns as the Speaker of the House. Nov 1998
Newt = Went
(Steve Serfling)
News: Hurrican Mitch causes extensive damage in Central America. Oct 27, 1998
Hurricane Mitch = Much rain, thrice = Hectic harm - ruin
(Graham Savage)
News: Microsoft Corporation under spotlight for anti-competitive tactics.
The Microsoft Corporation = Horror of Competition Acts
(Mick Tully)
News: Final episode of the television show Seinfeld fetches record prices for ads (reportedly $1.5 million for a 30 second spot)
Last Seinfeld =
Feint, sell ads
Ads sell, et fin.
("et fin" is French for "and end")
(David Conner)
News: A scandal of titanic proportions rocks the White House: US President Clinton embroiled in sex scandal with former intern Monica Lewinsky; denies having "improper relations" or urging her to lie.
President Clinton of the USA = To copulate he finds interns
Monica Lewinsky =
Nice silky woman
I may own nickels
Income? A sly wink!
Wank cosily in me
I yowl nicknames
Wank my silicone
Icy silken woman
I lay sick men now
(Dave Linabury)
Monica Lewinsky =
Knew a Slimy Icon
Now I Lay Sick Men
We May Lock in Sin
News May Ink Coil
(Bruce Horowitz)
News: English au pair found guilty of infanticide.
British au pair = I rip a USA birth
(Jeremy Valerius)
News: Alex Kelly, convicted of rape gets 16 years
Alex Kelly, Rapist=
Sex Talky...I'll Rape
Talk, Liar, Sex, Yelp!
Skill: a Lay Expert
I'll Talk a Sex Prey
Kelly...Partial Sex
Yelp...Kill a Sex-Rat!
(Bruce Horowitz)
News: Diana dies in a car crash in Paris.
Princess Diana =
And Since Paris
Sad Panic Risen
Car, Snap, Die, Sin
Pain as car's end
I End as car spin
(Bruce Horowitz)
Princess Diana = Ascend in Paris
(Beth Woodie)
Diana Spencer = Canned Praise
(M. Bowen)
Diana Frances Spencer = A Press Dance in France
(Chip Gore)
Princess Diana = End is a car spin
(Martin Ince)
News: Boeing merger with McDonnel Douglas creates the largest aircraft company in the world.
Boeing = Big One
(Jon Aegerter)
News: Apple gets help from Microsoft.
Apple Computer Inc. = Complete Up in Crap
(Nigel Stanger)
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