The Lovely AnnaStrophic asks innocently: Since when do prescriptivists split infinitives, good sir?

"In fact, the split infinitive is distinguished both by its length of use and the greatness of its users. People have been splitting infinitives since the 14th century, and some of the most noteworthy splitters include John Donne, Samuel Pepys, Daniel Defoe, Benjamin Franklin, Samuel Johnson, William Wordsworth, Abraham Lincoln, George Eliot, Henry James, and Willa Cather." ~The American Heritage® Book of English Usage. Copyright © 1996 by Houghton Mifflin Company.

"Split infinitives have been in use since the 13th century, although by the 16th Century they were rare in some of the most notable authors. William Shakespeare used one, in Sonnet 142. " ~http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Split_infinitive

"The 'split' infinitive has taken such hold upon the consciences of journalists that, instead of warning the novice against splitting his infinitives, we must warn him against the curious superstition that the splitting or not splitting makes the difference between a good and a bad writer. The split infinitive is an ugly thing, as will be seen from our examples below; but it is one among several hundred ugly things, and the novice should not allow it to occupy his mind exclusively. Even that mysterious quality, 'distinction' of style, may in modest measure be attained by a splitter of infinitives." ~H.W. Fowler (1858–1933). The King’s English, 2nd ed. 1908.

And the humble vicar responds timidly: In my efforts to elevate my writing toward the level of Donne, Pepys, Defoe, Franklin, Johnson, Wordsworth, Lincoln, Eliot, James, Cather and Shakespeare, I have adopted the occasional use of the split infinitive. My prayer is that it, along with a few other bits, will give my writing "distinction of style." That failing, it at least provides a target, not unlike the duck which slowly crosses the range in a shooting gallery.