Here is the first (and the shortest, and the simplest) version of this forward which I received:
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London, 8th November 2000
To the citizens of the United States of America,
Following your failure to elect a President of the USA to
govern yourselves and, by extension, the free world, we
hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume a
monarch's duties over all states, commonwealths and other
territories.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency,
please comply with the following acts:
1. Look up "revoke" in a dictionary
2. Learn at least the first 4 lines of "God save the Queen"
3. Start referring to "soccer" as football
4. Declare war on Quebec
Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with
you shortly to ensure the acquisiton of all revenues due
(backdated to 1776).
Thank you for your cooperation and...have a nice day!
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If I am correct that this version preceded the version whcih tsuwm posted, then Mad Max's suggestion of an edit toward literacy is well founded.
