Wordsmith.org: the magic of words

Wordsmith Talk

About Us | What's New | Search | Site Map | Contact Us  

Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
#97273 - 02/28/03 09:44 PM Puns Aching the Rounds  
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296
Wordwind Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Wordwind  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296
Piedmont Region of Virginia, U...
Here's an e-mail paste a friend sent:

A GOOD PUN IS ITS OWN REWORD

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

What's the definition of a will? (Come on, It's a dead giveaway!)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I'll show you a flat minor.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

The poor guy fell into a glass grinding machine and made a spectacle of himself.



#97274 - 02/28/03 10:36 PM with apologies to Gian-Carlo Menotti  
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 7,548
wofahulicodoc Offline
Carpal Tunnel
wofahulicodoc  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 7,548
Worcester, MA
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

...When Mother gave birth to twins, she named them Amahl and Juan. Father was overseas, and Mother brought Juan to show him.

"What about the other one?" said Father.

"Oh, they're identical," said Mom, "when you've seen Juan, you've seen Amahl..."


#97275 - 03/01/03 02:12 AM Re: with apologies to Gian-Carlo Menotti  
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Jackie Offline
Jackie  Offline

Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Louisville, Kentucky
He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
I hadn't heard that one before--ha!

Wofa, just for the halibut: [blowing you a kiss e]
I'm so glad you're here!



#97276 - 03/01/03 02:10 PM Re: with apologies to Gian-Carlo Menotti  
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
RhubarbCommando Offline
Pooh-Bah
RhubarbCommando  Offline
Pooh-Bah

Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
Halibut reminds me of the man who went into business by hinmself, selling fish. He was a sole trader.


#97277 - 03/01/03 02:55 PM Re: with apologies to Gian-Carlo Menotti  
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Jackie Offline
Jackie  Offline

Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Louisville, Kentucky
I'd halibut you, too, if I could...


#97278 - 03/03/03 02:31 PM Re: with apologies to Gian-Carlo Menotti  
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
RhubarbCommando Offline
Pooh-Bah
RhubarbCommando  Offline
Pooh-Bah

Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
You'll just have to find the right thyme and plaice.


#97279 - 03/03/03 04:08 PM Re: with apologies to Gian-Carlo Menotti  
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
Buffalo Shrdlu Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Buffalo Shrdlu  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
Vermont
this is my Bach's...



formerly known as etaoin...
#97280 - 03/06/03 08:57 PM He was a sole trader.  
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467
TEd Remington Offline
Carpal Tunnel
TEd Remington  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467
Marion NC
But we're assuming he worked to scale.



TEd
#97281 - 03/06/03 09:30 PM Re: He was a sole trader.  
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
Buffalo Shrdlu Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Buffalo Shrdlu  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
Vermont
undoubtedly he was Finnish...



formerly known as etaoin...
#97282 - 03/07/03 12:52 AM Re: He was a sole trader.  
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296
Wordwind Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Wordwind  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296
Piedmont Region of Virginia, U...
Is that why the album was called "Hooked on Bach"?


#97283 - 03/12/03 03:51 PM Re: He was a sole trader.  
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
Coffeebean Offline
old hand
Coffeebean  Offline
old hand

Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
Oregon, USA
I'm floundering for a clever reply . . .

Did you hear about the dizzy Swede who did not know vertigo?


#97284 - 03/12/03 04:27 PM Re: He was a sole trader.  
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 679
Rubrick Offline
addict
Rubrick  Offline
addict

Joined: May 2000
Posts: 679
Somewhere outside New York
Or the Mexican fireman who called his sons Jose and Hose B?


#97285 - 03/14/03 09:11 AM Re: He was a sole trader.  
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
RhubarbCommando Offline
Pooh-Bah
RhubarbCommando  Offline
Pooh-Bah

Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
I didn't tell you the whole story about the fishmonger, though. Eventually, he joined with five other fishmongers in a joint business, so that they could achieve economies of scale.


#97286 - 03/27/03 11:18 PM Re: pun o' the day  
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
Coffeebean Offline
old hand
Coffeebean  Offline
old hand

Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
Oregon, USA
There's a down side to every duck.


#97287 - 03/29/03 11:05 AM Re: pun o' the day  
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
RhubarbCommando Offline
Pooh-Bah
RhubarbCommando  Offline
Pooh-Bah

Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
That's true if you look at it eider way.


#97288 - 03/29/03 11:08 AM Re: pun o' the day  
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
RhubarbCommando Offline
Pooh-Bah
RhubarbCommando  Offline
Pooh-Bah

Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
-- and how about the man who fed the seagulls with cannabis?

He left no tern unstoned.


#97289 - 03/29/03 01:00 PM Re: pun o' the day  
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 3,065
Bingley Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Bingley  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 3,065
Jakarta
.. and the physical fitness trainer who left no stern untoned.

Bingley


Bingley
#97290 - 03/29/03 02:08 PM Re: pun o' the day  
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296
Wordwind Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Wordwind  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296
Piedmont Region of Virginia, U...
In reply to:

...left no stern untoned.


~Bingley

And for anyone who thinks, "You cain't tone bones," well, just consider a xylophone made of toned bones--a bonophone!


#97291 - 03/31/03 07:58 AM Re: pun o' the day  
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
RhubarbCommando Offline
Pooh-Bah
RhubarbCommando  Offline
Pooh-Bah

Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
-- or one *made of stones - an essential instrument for any rock band.


#97292 - 03/31/03 02:21 PM Re: pun o' the day  
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
Coffeebean Offline
old hand
Coffeebean  Offline
old hand

Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
Oregon, USA
There is a stop on the organ called Tibia.

perhaps I should bone up on the etymology . . .


#97293 - 03/31/03 03:46 PM Re: pun o' the day  
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
RhubarbCommando Offline
Pooh-Bah
RhubarbCommando  Offline
Pooh-Bah

Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
Oh, ho! very humerus

Well - someone had to say it!


#97294 - 03/31/03 10:45 PM Re: pun o' the day  
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
consuelo Offline
Carpal Tunnel
consuelo  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Caribbean
Tibia means lukewarm in Spanish.

-Mi trabajo es informar


#97295 - 04/01/03 01:07 AM Re: pun o' the day  
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
Coffeebean Offline
old hand
Coffeebean  Offline
old hand

Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
Oregon, USA
Tibia means lukewarm in Spanish.

Gracias, consuelo. Now I feel I have a leg up on this. Definitely not the stop to choose for hot jazz licks, eh?




#97296 - 04/01/03 03:29 AM Re: pun o' the day  
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
consuelo Offline
Carpal Tunnel
consuelo  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Caribbean
I didn't think there would be any stops in hot jazz licks


Page 1 of 3 1 2 3

Moderated by  Jackie 

Forum Statistics
Forums16
Topics13,879
Posts224,003
Members9,024
Most Online3,341
Dec 9th, 2011
Newest Members
TFED1, mark18, PureTech, Dilys, Abishek
9024 Registered Users
Who's Online Now
0 registered members (), 50 guests, and 2 spiders.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Top Posters(30 Days)
Dilys 1
mark18 1
Top Posters(All Time)
wwh 13,858
Faldage 13,803
Jackie 11,613
tsuwm 10,538
LukeJavan8 9,005
AnnaStrophic 6,511
Wordwind 6,296
of troy 5,400
Disclaimer: Wordsmith.org is not responsible for views expressed on this site. Use of this forum is at your own risk and liability - you agree to hold Wordsmith.org and its associates harmless as a condition of using it.

Home | Today's Word | Yesterday's Word | Subscribe | FAQ | Archives | Search | Feedback
Wordsmith Talk | Wordsmith Chat

© 1994-2017 Wordsmith

Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0
Page Time: 0.017s Queries: 13 (0.003s) Memory: 2.8391 MB (Peak: 3.0719 MB) Zlib disabled. Server Time: 2017-10-22 04:44:14 UTC