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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833 |
Still tidying papers, and found this good joke:
A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave. Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols, in this order of appearance:
A woman - A donkey - A shovel - A fish - and the Star of David.
They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at least three thousand years old. They chopped out the piece of stone and had it brought to their museum, where archaeologists from all over the world could come to study the ancient symbols. After months of study, they held a press conference to reveal the results of their work.
The president of the archaeological society stood up and pointed at the first drawing and said, “This looks like a woman. We can judge that the race was family-oriented and held women in high esteem. You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol resembles a donkey - indicating they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil. The next drawing looks like a shovel of some sort, which means they even had tools to help them. Even further proof of their high intelligence lies in the symbol of the fish, which means that if a famine had hit the earth, meaning land-based food sources failed them, they would take to the sea for food. The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrews.”
The audience applauded enthusiastically. Suddenly a little old man stood up in the back of the room and said, “Idiots! Hebrews read from right to left. It says, ‘Holy Mackerel, Dig the Ass on that Woman!’”
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,526
veteran
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veteran
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,526 |
that's pretty cute. kinda busy these days. just popped in.
here's one my oldest daughter told me the other day.
string walks into a bar, goes up to the barkeep and says, "i'll have a beer."
keep looks at the string and says, "we don't server yer kind here."
string is offended, walks away in a huff, and sits down at a table.
he's stewing for a while, then decides to try again. stides up to the bar
and says, "hey, gimme a beer, i say!"
barkeep looks at him disdainfully and says slowly and firmly, "we - dont - serve - yer - kind - here!"
string's furious. stomps out of the bar and wanders the streets, nursing his fury. calms down and decides on a different tack.
ruffles his hair, tangles himself up, and slides up to the bar. "I say, could I get a beer over here?"
barkeep eyes him suspiciously and asks, "aint you that string what was in here earlier?"
"nope, i'm afraid not"
this child is off to a really bad start in life.
k
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
Ores tabit fortis arare placet orestat.
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,526
veteran
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veteran
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,526 |
O sibile, se ergo! Fortibus es in ero.
Nobile! Demis trux!
Vatis inem.
Causan dux.
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210 |
any links to a good on-line Latin->English translator? 
formerly known as etaoin...
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 10,535 Likes: 1
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 10,535 Likes: 1 |
O sibili, si ergo,
Fortibus es in ero...
Oh my! Haven't seen that one in a lo-o-o-ng time !
Try a modern language one:
Pas de leur on connu !
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
a good on-line Latin->English translator?
Why would you need a Latin-English translator?
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542 |
Why would you need a Latin-English translator?
because those that have had no Latin training have no basis for discriminating between Latin and faux-Latin. we seem to get a lot of both here, which only benefits the few initiates.
Si haec crustulos eduisses, obsesus fuisses.
(If you had eaten those cookies, you would have been fat.)
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210 |
a good on-line Latin->English translator?
Why would you need a Latin-English translator?
because my ability to sing in Latin has nothing to do with my ability to read it. and I didn't want to go to the trouble of doing it word by word, and I don't have a good Latin dictionary, and I'm stoopit.
formerly known as etaoin...
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210 |
not am I only stoopit, I'm really stoopit.
and in rare form...
formerly known as etaoin...
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