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OP 
The Lair of FangFace Dreamer:
http://www.angelfire.com/scifi/dreamweaver/encyclomn/encycmaintext.html#TOP
* Good: Be afraid of anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die.
* Bad : Surprise the elderly: Wax the stairs.
LOL! Thanks, W'ON
--Georges Clemenceau.
WO'Nderful ;)
OP
YANKEE (hi wow! Dr. Bill! wofa!)
YANKEE:
You might be a Yankee if:
1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."
2. You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY!
3. You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
4. For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits.
5. You don't know what a moon pie is.
6. You've never had an RC cola.
7. You've never, ever, eaten okra, fried or boiled.
8. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
9. You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.
10. You have no idea what a polecat is.
11. You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
12. You don't have bangs.
13. You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.
14. More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the same prep school in Connecticut.
15. You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
16. Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.
17. You don't think Ted Kennedy has an accent.
18. You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife show.
19. You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.
20. You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.
21. The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on an on-ramp to the highway.
22. You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
23. The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Neiman-Marcus.
24. You call binoculars opera glasses.
25. You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.
26. You would never wear pink or an applique sweatshirt.
27. You don't know what applique is.
28. You don't know anyone with at least two first names (such as Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice, and so on).
29. You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.
30. You've never been to a craft show.
31. You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
32. You can do your laundry without quarters.
33. None of your fur coats are homemade.
Well, I get 12 out of 33, so I guess that makes me almost half a Yankee. (The other half is New Yorker, which might be even more susceptible to caricature!)
But I do particularly like #3, since "It's pronounced just like Worcestershire sauce" is the usual explanation/correction given to people who stumble (and that's just about everybody living more than one state west or south of here) over the-name-of-the-city-where-I've-lived-for-the-last-29-years!
... 3. You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly...
honey chile, in this heah context 'Yankee' refers to anyone from above the Mason-Dixon line, not jes New Englanders.
PS. I especially liked 4. For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits and 7. You've never, ever, eaten okra, fried or boiled.
OP
including:
ATTORNEYS: [A BILL TO REGULATE THE HUNTING AND HARVESTING OF]
COMMITTEE [ORIGINS OF]
HAGGIS (What is a haggis? A haggis is a small animal native to Scotland...)
ZEN: AND THE ART OF DEBUNKERY
(from Part 2: Debunking the UFO):
Declare that there is no proof that life can exist in outer space. Since most people still behave as if the Earth were the center of the universe, you may safely ignore the fact that Earth, which is already in outer space, has abundant life.
http://makeashorterlink.com/?I24F53BB1
OP
Putt knot yore faith inn spill checquers.
--Michael Nellis (see following material)
Reason why you should "Putt knot yore faith inn spill checquers":
An Owed to the Spelling Checker
I have a spelling checker.
It came with my PC.
It plain lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.
Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh.
My checker tolled me sew.
A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime.
Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pours o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.
Bee fore a veiling checkers
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if we're lacks oar have a laps,
Wee wood bee maid too wine.
Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know faults with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a wear.
Now spelling does knot phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped words fare as hear.
To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should bee proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaws are knot aloud.
Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft wear four pea seas,
And why eye brake in two averse
Buy righting want too pleas.
--Written by Jerrold H Zar
Copied from Spell/Binder Sept/Oct 1992. Editors note: Jerry Tzar (oops!), a member of Spell, is dean of the Graduate School of Northern Illinois University. He composed the above as an extension of a two-verse poem by Mark Eckman, of AT&T in Morristown, NJ. Lines 1, 2 & 8 are identical in both poems. By Mr. Zar's count, 123 of the 225 words are incorrect, yet none is misspelled. [Reprinted here without permission. --MN]
Hey, Anna, how far west does the Mason-Dixon line go, anyway? We don't think of people from, say, Montana, as Yankees.
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