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Joined: Oct 2000
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i dunno jazzo-- ever hear the idea: the only things you truly own are those which you would gladly give away? all other things own you.

I don't always practice the "giving away" but i did work with a man who used to wear great ties. if any one admired his tie, he would remove it, and give it to them.. He did not expect other to share his values or philosophy, but he was a very happy man.

I had a very pretty scarf that i wore to work one day.. at work, i saw a woman i knew who was wearing a simple dress.. My scarf was the prefect compliment to the dress, she noticed it, and admired it, and ask where i had purchased it, thinking to get one of the same for her self.. I gave her mine.. i still feel great about it!

i know i still am greedy, and self centered and have 1000 other faults.. but practicing random acts of kindness, and senseless acts of beauty, is very good for the soul. you might want to try it some time!


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i found a purse the other day, inside was £200, very handy i thought ( i am totally skint) then i saw a picture of the owner about 15 yrs old and riding a pony, so i just took it straight round her house, where i found her in floods of tears ( it was vacation spending money she had saved from a weekend job) she was delighted to say the least and i felt great, especially as when i was about to leave her father asked me if i liked whiskey "OH YEAH" i said wherupon he gave me a bottle of 16yr old single malt !!!!!!!!!!

I am not a religious man but I do believe in doing the right thing - it makes you feel better it is as simple as that

the Duncster


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Query: if the pres. admires something of yours, are you obliged to give it to him?

It's unlikely that he would verbalise any such admiration - knowing the full meaning of it in his own culture. In my experience Asians are not generally complimentary about "things" (perhaps for this very reason) and are more likely to comment on intangibles eg. "nice view".

Hev

#58582 02/28/02 12:54 AM
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...that's about the stupidest rule I think I've ever heard. That's like giving a spoiled brat everything he wants

Spoiled brats will quickly have no friends or dinner invitations.

ofTroy - Thanks for the wonderful story. About five years ago I started processing the family estate (actually® throwing out garbage and selling "collectibles" accumulated over the last 50 years) My father, who apparently had to have two of everything (I'm not kidding) had postumously made it enjoyable as a couple of years I did just that; all ya had to do was mention that you liked "it", and I'd be glad to give you one of 'em!


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> that's about the stupidest rule I think I've ever heard..

Jazzo

From a western, materialistic perspective you are correct. However, the beauty of the "rule" is that everybody has to play by it - and have done so for four thousand years. The culture has developed where admiration of another's possessions has a whole different set of meanings and consequences. Hence the "rule" is a powerful social tool - and it costs nothing itself. In particular, it discourages materialism whilst encouraging respect for oneself through less tangible aspects.

stales


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I am going out of town on Thursday ...

Good luck, bel! I've buried a talismanic Loonie under the ice for you.


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Oh, Duncan, good for you! Minor quibble: I would say it's as simple as "because it's the right thing to do", and the fact that it makes you feel good is just a nice side effect.

And yes, bel, belated good wishes for a successful trip.

Hev--thanks.

Helen--could you give some examples of what you mean by "senseless acts of beauty"?


#58586 02/28/02 06:09 PM
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Oh, c'mon. Someone else here has got to know the story of JFK making some state visit to _____ (Mexico? I don't remember...) - Kennedy said to the [President/PM/Tyrant-in-Residence] "I like your watch." The guy took off his watch and gave it to Kennedy. Later in the same conversation, the other dignitary made some compliment to JFK about Jackie no, not you, J! , whereupon JFK returned the watch.

If it's just an urban legend, please don't tell me. It's too funny to not be true.


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It's also true that if the Queen (or King) praises one of your possessions, you're supposed to hand it over. I remember hearing that Queen Victoria abused this custom quite a bit....

A couple of examples of acts of random beauty/kindness: It's cool to pay for the order of the person behind you when you're at a drive-thru window - I used to do this at Tim Horton's on Fridays when I was working - it made MY Timmy's treat that much more of a treat for me and I always enjoyed wondering about the reaction of the person behind me - if my actions had any kind of "pay-it-forward" ripple effect or not. Another pleasing thing to do that is also quite minor, is to give someone something they ask to borrow - with me, this has always been money, to the tune of a quarter for a phone call, or a few coins to make up the right amount for something out of a vending machine, or (on one occasion) $10AUS for a fellow backpacker who discovered all her money had been stolen. I got the idea for this by being on the receiving end at university: I wanted something out of a vending machine but didn't have the right change, and the only person around (it was a weekend) didn't have change for a dollar (back in the days when Canada still had dollar bills!). He asked what I needed the change for, and when I told him, he asked how much I needed, then gave it to me, saying, "No need to pay me back - just, maybe you'll do the same for someone in the future." Now that's what I say to people too - and they seem to like it - it allows them to accept gracefully if otherwise they would feel uncomfortable about it.


#58588 03/02/02 07:36 AM
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I've spent quite a lot of time in Singapore over the past few years, and I think you'll find that, by and large, they have adopted pretty much the Western business philosophy. When this thread got under way I emailed a couple of Chinese friends in Singapore (one, an elderly and very wealthy chappie who made his money we know not how, and a younger woman who is pretty high up in a large Singaporean company) and asked them about how "Chinese" their business practices are. The gist of the reply was:

* Be polite. That oils the wheels. However, it's no more so or less so than in the Western world.
* Do not offer gifts immediately. Singapore is hot against bribery and corruption. The exchange of small gifts is fine, although not mandatory.
* Culturally people are still Chinese, but unless they come from outside Singapore, they are a lot more direct and to the point than Chinese culture would suggest.

Having said that lot, though, the Singaporeans apparently do have trouble dealing with Chinese from China because their customs are different, and Singapore is pretty multi-cultural. The Malaysians regard Singapore with a kind of creeping horror - Singaporeans are seen as worldly and avaricious beyond Malaysian belief.

Hev was right - a lot of NZ business people, including Chinese, work quite happily in Singapore (I love the place and I like the Singaporeans). New Zealand and Singapore have a very good relationship and we move backwards and forwards between the two countries with a minimum of fuss. Singaporeans quite often choose New Zealand for their honeymoons. The New Zealand army had a lot of troops stationed there (at the Singaporeans' request) for many years, so a lot of Zilders have spent time there and know the place and the people well.



The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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