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As i was trudging my way
To my home yesterday
each step i took
a new word it shook
till a limerick before, it lay
As keen as a blade
the words were out laid
i won't post them here,
more ranker i fear
Something are best left unsaid
But a challenge i post
To see, who the most
two pair
and spare
of Rhymes can boast
So lets put it to the test
and see, who's the best
quick as a wink
lay down some ink
limericks, please, by request!
As for our theme or subject,
to such a limit i would object
but wit and fun
for all and one
harsh words, though, i'd reject.
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Pooh-Bah
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A New Yorker ayleur, O'Troy Said a challenge, to her, was deep joy. So she wrote out some verse, Challenged us to do worse On a subject that we most enjoy Now, as I'm in a fair rhyming mood Which subject would you-all think good? Washing pigs, I could pick - it Beats baseball or cricket! (But Helen would like one on Food!) 
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Not today, my warrior Red
Its colors that swirl in my head
chromatic hues
reds, yellows, and blues,
Rainbows before me are spread!
I posted a Word Master, dear
my ruberic words to him clear
I asked if he could
not help me with wode,
but a wiggling worm to make clear.
These posts are with out theme
So long as they follow a scheme
but with plans of crimson
i hope to win some,
it's of AWAD fame i do dream!
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Fair Helen has called us to alms
(Of the kind that calms angst with new balms)
You think you’re a poet?
Want others to knowit?
Post limericks here in her arms!
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"i hope to win some"
Dear Helen (her meaning is plain)
Went a-search for a gent, in the rain.
And said with a sigh,
"I wonder when Igh
Will be seeing a rain-beau again."
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In a rapid riposte to her call
Young Hilary’s quick on the ball;
Like a chattering fax
Came the news: “Rhuby wacks”
But it’s pride that pre-cursors a fall!
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Alone each limerick can stand
but together i have forced them to band
A creative juice
is running loose
and limericks spring from my hand.
Maybe it's the return of the sun
but i can't seem to stop, once begun
couplets i parry
of my sanity, i'm wary
But of the crazies, you always knew, i was one!
Who else will take on the chore?
Of limericks, i have plenty in store!
I'd do a haiku
if i knew, how to,
Though Spam isn't a theme i adore.
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Limericks are just an aside
as in the dictionary i now abide
paving the way
for a word of day
five times, a theme, to decide!
Jazzopus posted a thread
the idea of it went to my head!
A theme of week
5 words I seek
But you know that, if my limericks, you've read
I must be going insane
the proof is really quite plain!
for every limerick i see,
i write three!
since i am posting in rhyme, in the main.
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veteran
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A lass with impeccable diction,
rhymed words to her readers' affliction
but they flustered sententious
- her language licentious
caused sailors to blush in contrition.
k
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There once was a lady of Troy
Whose ruby brought envy and joy,
But a maverick trick
By the Jester of Wick
Made her gem take a trip, she's annoyed!
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old hand
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A young oceanographer, Bean, Was sick of computing the mean Veloc'ty of fish, Her brain just went squish, To spend time aBoard, she was keen! (This chair is now hurting her spleen!)
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Carpal Tunnel
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from Tom Lehrer's Irish Ballad:
...One day when she had nothing to do
Rikkety tikkety tin
One day when she had nothing to do
She cut her baby brother in two
And served him up as an Irish stew
And invited the neighbors in...
(as close as I could come to Limerick stew -- that's what this thread is about, right?)
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What wrong with me, i haven't clue
maybe my brain is missing some glue
logic is undone
nonsense has sprung,
but for fun, this board, is long over due!
Come hear my clarion call,
come one, come two, come all
put your hat in the ring
a limerick's the thing,
We'll end weary ways and have a ball!
Stop me, somebody please!
Give my poor fingers some ease
post, fast as can be
try to out pace me!
til no more limericks out, can i squeeze!
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old hand
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old hand
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Our helen is losing her mind,
She really needs time to unwind,
To forget all her stress,
She should put on a dress,
And spend time with someone who's kind. (?!?!?!)
(Well, it rhymed. There was no requirement about making sense.)
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old hand
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old hand
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My cat, call her Fru-Fru, she's grey,
And furry and sleeps all the day,
At home she awaits me,
For ham she does bait me,
And in the warm sun she doth lay.
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Limericks are easy as A, B, C
Lines 1, 2, 5 rhyme A, 3 and 4 rhyme B
move the lines about..
a limerick will out.
For editing, I hope you will not mind me!
One day when she had nothing to do
She cut her baby brother in two
Rikkety tikkety tin
the neighbors came in.
And she served him up as an fine Irish stew.
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old hand
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Atop of my screen sits a bear,
Naked, without underwear,
We all call him Pooh,
To Piglet he's true,
And honey's the chief of his cares.
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old hand
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old hand
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Soon to my home I will go, To sup with my darling, ho ho! And watch some TV, To keep my mind free For tomorrow more work I must show. Ciao all! Until tomorrow...
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Pooh-Bah
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My dear Helen, please do not stop
These limericks, right off the top
Of your fast-rhyming head.
They're as good as new bread!
Long way to go 'fore you're de trop
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I'm still a bit of a stranger
But in this game there's no danger
I'll do my bit here
Though old friends may well fear,
"That Board is fun, but will it change her?"
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Don Marquis [hi, archie!] classified limericks as:
"$1 Limericks": Those that can be told in the company of ladies (in the 1920's).
"$2 Limericks": Those that can be told in the company of a parson.
"$10 Limericks": Real limericks.
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Limericks new , Limericks old
be they wimpy, or be they bold
Steal a line from E. Lear,
He's an expert, i hear
For limericks, the best, i 've been told!
An invitaion I've just read
Invites me to fill up this thread!
with a risque post
or a gentle boast
or a quips that shows I'm well read!
Come awad'er's lend me your ears
Soon, You'll rolling in laughter, with tears,
or a wink or a grin
let the fun now begin,
will it get ribald soon? i have fears!
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A gracious welcome and good day
I hope boronia that you'll stay
changed you will be
For the better, you'll see
Vocabuary improved--by word play!
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Carpal Tunnel
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There was a pig farmer near Aukland
Who mixed fruit with his pork more than often,
"A kiwi a day
Keeps the doctor away!"
Was the capital claim he was hawkin'!
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21 limericks today
fell out of my brain, in word play
day is done
end of fun
but everyone else is welcome to stay!
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enthusiast
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Thank you kindly, Lady of Troy
For your welcome unalloy(ed)
Oops, I've just cheated
And rhyme I've defeated
Truly hope that it doesn't annoy!
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Truly hope that it doesn't annoy!
Have no fear of that, lady boronia!
Everyone here is adorin' the
Charm, wit and grace
That you bring to our space.
(Kindly help me concoct one rhyme more on ya?)
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New york's water is quite pure
of this, i am reasonable sure
but some intoxicating potion
has given me a notion
so limerick after limerick you must endure
i like to date good looking men
one will ask me out now and then
but i generally find
it's the men who are blind
who ask me out, again and again.
you'd think exhastion would set in
and of limericks i'd be running thin
but each new one i post
encourages a host
of others i want to begin!
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the men who are blindThere's a lining of silver, I'd say, If your love life is as you portray. Don't you commonly find Dating men who are blind You can easily lead them -- astray?  Don't focus on the negativity. Instead, note their high susceptivity. They have far fewer chances To repel advances For whatever may be your proclivity.
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Carpal Tunnel
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The fever continues unabated
I fear i will be generaly hated
a dozen plus, Twice
Limericks! Not nice
Is the end to which i am fated?
If Limericks are fated to stay
then there is only one thing i have to say
An agape like this
could be a word lovers bliss!
i am The Queen of fun and wordplay
Awader's get out your tomes
books of science, music and poems
dig out a word,
we've never seen or heard
and about words let us be bon homies!
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old hand
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old hand
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Today there are clouds in the sky,
You probably want to know why,
It's always that way
On a typical day
In St. John's, so no reason to cry!
It's not quite as cold as before,
The cat tries to run out the door,
The snow starts to melt,
Some respite is felt
By those who use shovels galore!
But beware for a flurry may rise,
And the wind will whip snow in your eyes,
And roof it will creak,
And the windows may leak,
And the snowbanks will increase in size.
But under the snow there await
Some tulip bulbs, dafffodils - great!
Eventually Spring
Her warmth she will bring,
And the sun will stay out until late!
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Here's to Maverick and to Rhu
My hats off to all of you,
with The Fiend and Whit,
you've done your bit,
and shown your colours true!
But when it come to putting on the ritz,
Its Bean, who has given us the blitz
with fishes and squishes
She's answered my wishes
her brain too, must be on the fritz!
Must i name every one in limerick to see
if they will try to keep up posts, with me?
well keep open an eye
for naming, I'll try!
these limericks can go on endlessly!
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X rated
There was a young dentist named Sloane
Who catered to ladies alone.
In a fit of depravity
He filled the wrong cavity,
And my! how his business has grown.
Helen made me do it! (running from gutter police)
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And where could the doctors all be?
They are certainly not helping me!
i am really quite ill
Come quick--Dr bill
Tell me, is there cure for limerickosy?
i'll leave poor doc comfort to sleep
He's up south, and over the deep
so far far away
he's in next day
so his comfort, it will have to keep.
come shaman and healer or quacks
with potions, feathers or wax
with mystic fire
quell my desire
is it a simple cure, that i ax!
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old hand
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The puck will be dropped on this night, To win we must put up a fight, For Canada I'll cheer, "Go, girls, have no fear!" And I hope a gold medal's in sight! Good luck to both CANADA and USA!!!!! May the best women win!
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X-rated, in response to wow above. (This is not original, and is posted only because it links to our llama and ovine threads.)
An Argentine gaucho named Bruno
Said "There is one thing that I do know"
"A woman is fine"
"And a sheep is divine"
"But a llama is numero uno!"
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Come Stranger, Newbie, Old Hand
And Addict--You, too, i demand
All together, i know
to me you're no Foe
Even united, against me, you can't stand
Send me your words, the hardest you know
blovate, anacampserote, or Golden Ratio
gobsmacked, i might be
but soon, you'll see
That limerick and rhyme, time after time, i know how to make them tow!
When it comes to limericks, i reign over all
For so few have answered my call
by PM and post
before i did boast
I begged, and pleaded, my words went unheaded, so now you are in my enthall!
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Carpal Tunnel
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This thread is moving full swing
and soon, some posters are libel to bring,
a wink or blush,
Please there's no rush.
But X rated posts are just the thing!
The ladies of Awad you'll find
to ambivient posts are inclined
pure as the snow
blithly we go
its others, you see, never me, who have a dirty mind
Do you remember the musical Hair?
Oh, the words i first heard there!
I blushed -I recall,
but found them all!
On Dictionary's bound, these words should be found, Readers, beware!
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There once was a man from Nantucket
whose right foot got caught in a bucket
on his way to the dance.
To remove he did prance,
yet still stuck, with crowbar his wife plucked it.
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I have a sweet friend from New York
Who enjoys pulling more than the cork ~
When she's out on the razzle
Her smile's fit to dazzle
And her favourite taste is long pork!
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The ad campaigne is growing old,
the pink bunny, never will fold
he's got nothing me
energized? we'll see
i have limericks and rhyme, to last for all time, there are millions more to be told!
Faldage has tossed out demean
a word he has recently seen
now its a rhyme
in a limerick -this time
Awads so slow, where will i go, to find new words to glean?
a post maybe, i ,
backwards will try
anastrophicly stated
maybe betsy will be baited
limericks to write by and by.
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It's not as bawdy as I prefer in a limerick,
and it's a little forced, but
Onomatopoetically speaking,
Fun words come from fine-feathered cheeking,
Tomtit and swallow
Regaling the hollow, an
Orgy of
Yakking and squeaking.
k
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Now that the man from Nantucket is here
Now this threads is finaly in fifth gear
we'll rev and race
to each find first place
Words will be quick, inuendo thick, a free for all, is what i fear!
How about that old man from Kent?
I don't know just how it went
mother would blush
and tell Da, hush!
and out of the room i would be sent!
I'm sweet and simple and pure
a double entendre, i'm sure
will give me start,
as i take it apart,
and will finaly be, an end you'll see and for this madness a cure!
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So - it's saucy limericks you're after
The kind that induce guilty laughter.
I ask, "Is there shame
Or any kind of blame
In being the naughty-limerick-crafter?"
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A cowpoke who had just turned thirty
Sang a song that was really dirty
He said no bad word
But all those who heard
Swear that it weren't very purdy!
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Uh-oh, I too am afflicted.
To limericks, am getting addicted.
After all, it is true:
I have work to do!
If I don't, from my job I'll be evicted.
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Of all the things i learned this board
The one that most particularlly floored
was that men far and wide
with sheep, do abide!
Or at least they are reputed to have scored!
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Our dear Helen of Troy is a writin'
some sweet limericks for us to bite in
but the rhythms you know
on her last lines do show
a bit different version, a little perversion: an extra rhymed couple of lines in.
How far does the definition include different lengths of last line and still be considered a limerick?
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the secondary stages of madness now start
and my sweet cover is coming apart
with a coy little grin
and a sly little spin
some more adult limericks now i impart.
I am know well as woman who flirts
a reputation I've earned on my merits
i make goo-goo eyes
and encourage the guys
remember, No pain, no gain, keep at it till it hurts!
I love the idea of being chaste
and slow courting, and romance, not haste
but kiss me and then
kiss me again
and your efforts won't go to waste!
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Dear Helen has gone now and did it
what she does deserve, she will get it
with a wink and a flirt
tended clean or with dirt
Without waste as she promised? I won't bet it!
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There once was a limerick bonanza
Where some rhymes had more than one stanza
Poor Ted wasn't sure
If this form was pure
But then again he's only a little teddy bear.
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How far does the definition include different lengths of last line and still be considered a limerick?Depends on the source you consult, musick. Webster's: five anapestic lines, of which lines 1, 2, and 5 are of there feet, and rime, and lines 3 and 4 are of two feet, and rimeThe Lure of the Limerick (1967, 1993) (paraphrased description): same as Websters, but: (1) may omit a line's initial weak beat; (2) may add trailing weak beat or beats at end of line, if done consistently over all rhyming lines.WordNet ® 1.6, © 1997 Princeton University: 5 anapestic lines with a rhyme scheme aabba [states no line-lengh requirement] AHD®: five anapestic lines usually with the rhyme scheme aabba. [states no line-lengh or rhyme-scheme requirement] http://www.sfu.ca/~finley/discussion.html (with more discussion) http://dictionary.com
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veteran
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Posts: 1,526 |
My last submission, almost vulgar enough to be a real one.
F anny Hill led a life under shelter
I n the cathouse, though, everyone felt her.
E ach morning repented -
N ightly, naughties she scented.
D amned near everyone stopped by and smelt her.
k
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addict
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addict
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A gorgeous young lady of Troy:
Posting limericks her only true joy.
She posted away
But to her dismay,
They didn't attract the right boy
So posting once more it began
And Helen, she showed her true hand.
Some were heard to mutter,
"We're into the gutter."
Yet still no sign of her man
In the end she had to go private
To me she wrote, "If you desire it,
Would you put up a poem
And some rhymes if you know 'em?"
I did; and now of Troy's fire, lit.
Limeraiku
The AWAD pooh-bah
went too far, but got (merde mot)
Away with hoo-ha.
Committed no crime
But yet I'm slapped. Spirit sapped.
Silent passes time.
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636 |
A woman I once knew did marry
The last name of Dick she did carry
They lived on Swallow Boulevard
And at times it was hard
But harder it'd have been-hubby's Gary, not Harry.
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stranger
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stranger
Joined: Feb 2002
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There once were two teams of tough maidens the slapshots and plays wouldn't faze them when the ticker had tocked and the final shot blocked the Canucks came home Gold medals blazin' !!!! Now the men with pressure for their role Take inspiration from the last second goal To rally the troops, and take pride in their roots, Win the Gold net the puck in the five-hole!!! (hmmm...that was awkward!) Congratulations to Canada and the USA!! Wicked game!
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addict
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addict
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Posts: 688 |
There once was a stranger named Norm
His job, to show he could perform
He rhymed about pucks
And said Congrats to Cannucks
I send him this greeting so warm
So welcome Aboard from an Angel
And maybe even from Bel
We play everyday
And have lots to say
I'm sure you'll fit in quite well
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Aug 2000
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Whenever the board has got tacky The shout goes out loud for our Jackie She polices the gutter Checks each word we utter And won't let us chew gum or 'bacca. When ever they feeling quite frisky, Bel, Helen and Connie get risqué With entendres doubleThey get right into trouble Then put all the blame on the whiskey. Whenever he can't get to sleep, Maverick sits counting sheep At least, he tells us so; I'm not sure if I know If he ain't hiding something more deep! For poems filled with appeal None are better than Whitman O'Neill. But his poems don't rhyme, So I spend all my time In trying this defect to heal. but wotthehell, archie, toujours gaie!  If the sound of gut-scraping makes you-sick Please keep the fact quiet from Musick He's mourning his old car So we mustn't go so far As to leave him feeling too-sick. - and I'm mourning it, too - I know how it feels to lose a beloved old mechanical friend!!!To finish, I'll just have to lean On words that rhymne well with Bean Her limerick posting (Next to Helen, the most's bin) Are among the best that we have seen
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204 |
Whenever my spelling grows lax
I take comfort from our good old Max.
When our multiple typos
Give us both the gripe-ohs
We just smile and pat each other's backs.
When you want to know what's to be done,
Wise Old Woman is really the one.
She replies in a trice
With the most sound "Add Vice!"
Which at least makes our trouble more fun.
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Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
It started just as a lark
but the first ignited a spark
Will the fire burn out?
i haven't a doubt,
but not before its has left its mark!
It's Wordwind you really must blame
(though, I hated to name her by name!)
Her word play and fun
My simple brain unstrung
Hippopotumusitis and limerickitis are one and the same!
My dear, please don't take this to heart
And think i wish you to depart
But rather, Please,
Sneeze a great sneeze!
and another wild, wooly, wonderful word epidemic, Start!
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Posts: 1,156
old hand
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old hand
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Posts: 1,156 |
There was a young lad they call Pollock, His tendencies were alcoholic, He charmed all the girls, By admiring their curls, And soon in his room they would frolic!  
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old hand
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old hand
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,156 |
My desk is awash in white paper,
Where poems are meeting their maker,
I'm s'posed to be working,
My research I'm shirking,
My thoughts wander o'er hell's half acre.
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
I started to write a my goodbyes,
but now the thread getting a reprise
wordplay and fun
have finally begun
and soon we'll be all getting a rise!
There was a young lady named Sheri
with lips as red as a cherry
her calipygian seat
offered a treat
and all around her the men were merry!
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,661 |
I'm bettin our new bud named Norm
Is up there a partyin' a storm
Guitar's he's a makin'
and if I'm not mistaken
He's logged a different name here before
It's good to see my ol' bud G-Ted
His input here is sorely needed
a word from the wize
with a spelling dis-guy's
though 'iz rhyming scheemz are quite whacked
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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My spelling be partner from Eire
was showing them gamblers his care
for their troubles and woes
brought by losing to foes
but with Goldielocks he's no ted-e-bear
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Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
There was a pretty gal from the city
Who said "It's such a pity!"
As a bimbo I can
Land any man,
But not if I act smart and witty"
So this smart young lady took part
in a plan to catch a man's heart
she baited her snare
with her long flowing hair
and enough make up to look like a tart.
On her hand now, diamonds galore
on her ears and wrists, several more
her silken dark curls
don't cover her pearls
And suiters she has by the score!
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Young Rhuby’s a bit of a wag ~
He implies that I’d chase sheep to shag!
A word in your ear,
Through a maverick’s tear:
I fear this is more CK’s bag!
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
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The commando’s command of a crank
In ancient MGs breaks the bank;
The spark is still willing
But the travelling’s uphilling,
So he has to get out for a walk!
[unwunk]
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Anonymous
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So she snared up a hunk, chest heaving,
but appearances can be deceiving
the hunk turned to junk
her life turned to funk
and now she's fed up and she's leaving.
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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But when looks have slipped all down the drain
And your love life’s a bit of a pain,
Will it be your lament,
When your face is all bent,
That seduction works better by brain?
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
Like St Augustine, venerated scholar, I do Pray
I get down on my knees and humbly say
"Make me pure, make me chaste,
but don't do it with haste
Let me be wicked for just one more day!"
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
Smiley faces and frowns,  , for some are must for others, these signs signal teasing or lust! a grin or a Wink Got someone to think I'm laughing out loud, i think i will bust! Perfect breasts (o)(o) Fake silicone breasts ( + )( + ) Perky breasts (*)(*) Big nipple breasts (@)(@) A cups o o D cups { O }{ O } Wonder bra breasts (oYo) Cold breasts ( ^ )( ^ ) Lopsided breasts (o)(O) Pierced Breasts (Q)(O) Hanging Tassels Breasts (p)(p) Grandma's Breasts \ o /\ o / Against The Shower Door Breasts ( )( ) Android Breasts | o | | o | Martha Stewart's Breasts ($)($)
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stranger
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stranger
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 5 |
and if I'm not mistaken
He's logged a different name here before
Your welcomes are very kind to hear
But alas, never 'fore was I here
Now I must rest
After the post about breasts
Since laughter was so hard I shed tears!
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Uhhh, Helen dear...just what did they serve for lunch at the EPA today? A troyful big dose of the mammery Upgrades our emoticon gallery, Now throw into the mix A few puppet tricks To enlengthen your sexual hammery. not me, said I
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Dear Norm I am glad you are smiling
Tis mistaken I was bout your filing
your name on this board
to be different before
then two guitar builders have we for riling
Not that many of us here actually® do that!
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Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
To Michigan, Sparteye's attracting a throng,
For a word fest to last all the week long.
No Ozzie or Kiwi,
there will we see,
Only the best, the wordapaloozest, at the flong!
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member
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member
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Dear Helen of Troy (she's our girl)
for fast limericks that make my head swirl
I can't stop with the laughter
So I'd post this after,
jotting notes, I'd give it a whirl.
I'm not a great writer you see,
but enjoy Wordplay & Fun 'specially,
I'm sure Anu didn't know
how his idea would grow
and turn into jocularity.
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 2,661 |
I did not know that Cap K bugged out.
I was saving my pennies for stout
or some other fine ale
that we'd drink til we're pale.
So I'll just forget he's got clout
to give me a rib for my clause
which located him there in the Oz.
Though my geography sucks
like Faldage's hockey pucks
I'll forever refer to it with "blahs".
Nice one on jocularity, sis
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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enthusiast
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enthusiast
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Posts: 279 |
A gallopen trollop called Loxy
Made a poor teddy bear's life rather poxy
In the Three Bears' home she was squatten
And I think she's pure rotten
I'm sorry if me attytude shocks ye.
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Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
The Narcissist Lament
Every word, every post, every thread
the sheer magnitude goes to my head
for its plain, you can see
The focus is me
I am the subject of everything said!
It has slowly become very clear to see
that from the letter A to the letter Zee
every study of man
is part of plan
Devised solely to discredit me!
I am perfect, it is plain to see
Perfection its self; embodies me
Like the lamb, i am gentle
Except, i go mental
When i think someone's is picking me!
Of shoes, Imelda Marcos can boast
a collection larger than most
but when it comes a fit
I am the git
Who wears the worst of any post!
I never spoil for a fight, you know
But they occur where ever I show
I am always taken a back
at others manners lack
Because i am always right, it's them that must go!
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Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
Max, your a darling, a dear
but you live in a land so queer!
Its so far away
at the beginning of day,
Its made up sheep, cricket, a few men and lots of beer!
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enthusiast
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enthusiast
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Posts: 279 |
I read yer last pome through and through
And I fer one wasn't picken on you
I want ta make it quite cleer
That yer a pal of this bear
It's Loxy what's the stone in me shoe.
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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Posts: 1,773 |
Dear MaxQ cannot come to see me
So of Kiwis there will not be three
But CapK and mate
Two Zildians great
Make two Kiwis there will we see
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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What is this world coming to?
In her thread titled "limericks, too",
Lots of folks chime in
With handfuls of rhymin'
But Helen has seventy-two!
Her third said a challenge i post
To see, who the most
two pair
and spare
of Rhymes can boast."
'Tis truely a great exhibition,
By a fluidly-tongued rhetorician,
But I'll make a batch up
Attempting to catch up
To make it a true competition.
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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I'm particularly floored by your last one, dear.
It seems that your pulling a fast one here.
Our previous riot
Had dropped and gone quiet,
So why did you bring up that past one here?
We've recently been through a thread
Where much castigation was spread.
To repeat would be hazardous,
But you like a Lazarus
Brought it back up when you said:
----->The Narcissist Lament
----->"Every word, every post, every thread"
----->"the sheer magnitude goes to my head"
----->"for its plain, you can see"
----->"The focus is me"
----->"I am the subject of everything said!"
----->"It has slowly become very clear to see"
----->"that from the letter A to the letter Zee"
----->"every study of man"
----->"is part of plan"
----->"Devised solely to discredit me!"
----->"I am perfect, it is plain to see"
----->"Perfection its self; embodis me"
----->"Like the lamb, i am gentle"
----->"Except, i go mental"
----->"When i think someone's is picking me!"
----->"Of shoes, Imelda Marcos can boast"
----->"a collection larger than most"
----->"but when it comes a fit"
----->"I am the git"
----->"Who wears the worst of any post!"
----->"I never spoil for a fight, you know"
----->"But they occur where ever I show"
----->"I am always taken a back"
----->"at others manners lack"
----->"Because i am always right, it's them that must go!"
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Did you have to wake dogs that were nappin'?
Did you have to get just one more slap in?
When you got the notion
To re-stir commotion,
You ought to have thought what would happen.
It's a shame that you never consulted me,
Before dragging back words that insulted me,
Can you leave it alone?
When you picked at that bone,
What did you think the result'd be?
I'm willing to let us forget it.
Just leave it; don't trouble to edit.
But if you again flame dear,
It's not me to blame dear:
If you seek a fight, you will get it.
[get it?]
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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I hope that the video feed packs
good punch at the Sparteye's. Yet snacks
and the beer won't be sweet
with no chance to meet
or way to shake hands with you, Max.
But at least we can wave as we sway
at the camera we'll hook up that day.
Our tech guys have mission
to give you some vision
of all of us missing your way!
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 11,613 |
Oh, Max, won't you come, pleasepleaseplease?
If you come, it'll be the bee's knees;
Please bring your dear wife
On the trip of her life,
And then we'll have all FOUR Kiwis!
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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A previous archbishop of Brizzie
Covered up a scandalous tizzy;
When the news got about
All the papers gave shout:
“You’d better resign – here comes Lizzie!”
[nothere]
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 5,400 |
A funambulist racked his brain
For a feat that would make his name
So high was his act
as a matter of fact
It could only be seen from a plane!
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 10,534 Likes: 1 |
A very popular thread this, I note, though the Stales Index is "only" 0.16.
W.S. Gilbert (like Isaac Asimov, later) had something to say about limericks, too:
There once was a young man from Beeze
Who was stung in the neck by a wasp.
When asked "Does it hurt?"
He replied "No, it doesn't.
It would have been terrible if it had been a hornet."
Though Asimov was more appreciative of the form, and even publilshed a collection or five of 'em... [?white]
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 5,400 |
The fever and chills have passed
there may be an end to limericks, at last
but before i go,
i want to know
your contributions have made it a blast!
I thought a list i would head
Limerick Writer's, Well Said!
but it would be sad
not to mention bad
to forget all those who only read!
I hope the my illness has been cause
and given us chance to take pause,
to have some delight
in the words that we write
And now we all deserve some applause!
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Keiva, I love you, I do;
And you know that my love is so true;
I don't want to blow it
By not daring to show it;
Here's hoping you're happier, too!
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enthusiast
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enthusiast
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It's Monday, and time for a fix
Of everyone's new limerix
You delight and amuse me
And sometimes confuse me
AWADers are quite the odd mix!
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enthusiast
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enthusiast
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Alrighty - I'll add one more
No chance, though, of evening the score.
Of Troy keeps on writing
And keeps on delighting;
She's a hero of limerick-lore
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enthusiast
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enthusiast
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I confess - I start to see red -
Limerick rhythms invading my head!
At work and at play
The beat dogs me all day.
It's a thing up with which I'm getting fed!
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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The ladies love humorous Milum;
His versatile wit will beguile 'em.
Pray the lord he's not single in
June, when we're minglin'
Lest his wiles, smiles and guile will defile 'em.
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old hand
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old hand
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Posts: 872 |
Ok, Keiva, wanna play hard ball, huh...Overheard comments made by the prim, proper, pedant, ladies that will attend the Wordapalooza June 2002 “That Milum is the Final Gentleman,
And who would of thought the things that he has thunk,
He is so charming,
And no one he’s harming,
Lying -not laying- there on the floor, dead drunk.” Ha! this is the 99th and last post on this thread. Good-bye.
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 4,189 |
Please see limericks, too, (redux) for the continuation.
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