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Carpal Tunnel
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ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA, SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL
Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of his State of the Union address.
Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil...In their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best."
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.
"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al Assad.
"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool."
THE AXIS PANDEMIC
International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable.
With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick.
"That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application.
Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.
TEd
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Dear TEd: I'm shedding great big tears of frustration after reading your masterpiece. I can't find Chadguay on any of my maps.
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Carpal Tunnel
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axes of evil Could be demonic guitars!  while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Be
Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick.Sounds like your kind of sheep, CapK!  
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enthusiast
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enthusiast
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A masterpiece indeed, Ted. My tears are from laughter. More!
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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LOL, TEd -- for the same reason as you are!
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Joined: Aug 2001
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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"Right. They are Just as Evil...In their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best."
The others are, or course, merely the lesser of the two Evils.
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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>More.
Copyright © 2002, SatireWire.com
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old hand
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old hand
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Excellent! TEd, you are so...so...somewhat evil.
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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hmmmmmmm.... Max, noting that you are the orginal quoter, but not the original author [and sticking tongue firmly in cheek]: Would this be an instance where someone other than the original author is the primary victim of the plagiarism? [ducking for cover -e]
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