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Joined: Nov 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439 |
This was sent by a friend and it tickled me so much I had to post it! Anyone care to add to the list?
From the Washington Post Style Invitation, in which it was postulated that English should have male and female nouns, and readers were asked to assign a gender to nouns of their choice and explain their reason.
The best submissions:
SWISS ARMY KNIFE - male Because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.
KIDNEYS - female Because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.
PENLIGHT - male Because it can be turned on very easily, but isn't very bright.
TIRE - male Because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOON - male Because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air part. SPONGES - female Because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGE - female Because it is always getting hit on.
SHOE - male Because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.
COPIER - female Because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed. ZIPLOC BAGS - male Because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them. SUBWAY - male Because it uses the same old lines to pick people up. HOURGLASS - female Because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom. HAMMER - male Because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around and is good for killing bugs.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
Proverbs of a proverbial envious blonde.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
I never expected to get off scot free for the above male chauvinist pig statement. Surely we have one castrating female on the board. Maybe two.
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636 |
[sharpening knife, evil gleam in right eye-e] So, Dr. Bill, you still want to talk about blonds in that tone of type, hmmm?[strop, strop] Not really a castrating bitch, but he asked me so nicely I couldn't refuse.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
Dear consuelo: You don't scare me. Remember what I said on the Bobbitt post. A limp lingam is hard to sever.
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636 |
Ahhh. But not impossibill.>EG<
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636 |
lethe-MALE No need to say more, the guys would just forget I said it anyway.
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