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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636 |
This is such a difficult side issue of this board. Words fail me in my attempt to communicate my sorrow that some people do not know how to offer constructive criticism in a kindly manner. It is usually the nicest people that are hurt the worst by unkind words. Please take time to think and temper your words if you feel you must offer criticism. There are so many of us here that would leave if we were treated harshly.
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 131
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 131 |
I read every post eagerly awaiting the punchline.
You HAVE to be kidding! I cannot imagine being so sensitive as to stop frequenting a place I enjoy (whether that be a board, a bar, a church, a coffeeshop, etc.) just because a few people are mean to me.
Again, please tell me this is a joke.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
"And who is to judge what is nastiness on the part of the sender and what is thin skin on
the part of the receiver?"
If a member posts a nasty PM he has received, he naturally risks exposing his having deserved it, or having erroneously concluded that he had been injured.
My hope would be that there would be fewer nasty PMs if perpetrators had to risk exposing their nastiness.
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 131
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Posts: 131 |
A nasty PM is the sign of complete cowardice. Boards are pretty anonymous - if the individual cares to keep it that way - so for someone to lambast another 'privately' is the ultimate in gutless.
Now on the other hand, to be bothered by anonymous nasties? Please. Sometimes we just have to ignore and move on. I'm having a hard time feeling sorry for an adult who 'takes his ball and goes home' because a few people were mean to him.
Go ahead and nasty PM me if you think I'm totally off base. OR, be adult about it and do it right here!
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146 |
I don't think there's any reason for anyone to be directly criticising anyone in PMs. If you want that kind of forum, hey, there are plenty out there. Go online and tell people in general exactly what you think of them. Of course, they'll give as good as they get, but that's the chance you gotta take.
If you don't like what someone's saying, do what I do and just ignore that thread. Or do what I also do and respond, politely, on the forum. They're entitled to their opinion, and you're not entitled to abuse them for expressing it.
There are some members of this board with whom I probably don't share a lot other than a general interest in the language. That's probably true for all of us. But it's the diversity which matters as much as anything else.
DON'T ABUSE PEOPLE IN PMs!
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409 |
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
"not indulging in cowardly personal vendettas behind the cloak of privacy or anonymity. "
Hear, Hear!
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636 |
The music and magic of words -- that's what A.Word.A.Day (AWAD) is about.
Come, explore the world of words, share it with other wordlovers, and delight in the joy of words. (emphasis mine)
If we can't enjoy ourselves here, why bother? It's not thin skin that drives anyone away. It is the theft of joy that mean-spirited PMs bring that does it.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
Alphatists, arise! Start lots of new word threads. It's the worn-out old ones that provoke ribaldry.
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 10,535 Likes: 1
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 10,535 Likes: 1 |
...the need to be abusive or vitriolic in PMs
This is to me the crux of the entire matter. Disagreement is fine. Strong disagreement is fine. Abuse and vitriol are simply not excusable (I hesitate to say not acceptable), be they public or private, particularly in a venue such as this.
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