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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605 |
W'On makes reference to Loreena Bobbitt. Her name is apt. Per http://www.bartleby.com/61/83/B0358300.html: bob: TRANSITIVE VERB: To cut short or reshape: bobbed her hair; had his nose bobbed.
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542 |
One New Year's Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Hogmanay gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing well-known holiday carols. This seemed like the perfect gift. "How do I get him to sing?" The young man asked, excitedly. "Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet." was the shop owner's reply. The shop owner held a lighted match under the parrot's left foot and Chet began to sing "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! ..." The shop owner then held another match under the parrot's right foot and the store was filled with a clearly intoned "Silent Night. Holy Night..." The young man was so impressed that he paid the shop-keeper and ran home as quickly as he could with Chet under his arm. When the wife saw her gift she was overwhelmed. "How beautiful!" She exclaimed, "Can he talk?" "No," the young man replied, "but he can sing. Let me show you." So the young man took out his lighter and placed it under Chet's left foot, as the shop-keeper had shown him, and Chet crooned "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells!..." The man then moved the lighter to Chet's right foot, and out came "Silent Night. Holy Night..." The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then asked, "What if we hold the lighter between his legs?" The man did not know. "Let's try it." He answered, eager to please his wife. So he held the lighter between Chet's legs. Chet twisted his face and, squirming all the while, the little parrot sang out loudly (like it was the performance of his life): "Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire...."
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
"Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire...." All right, TED--how'd you log on under tsuwm's name??? 
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819 |
Did y'all hear about the dyslexic drunk who walked into a bra?
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605 |
Did y'all hear about ...
I'd forgotten about that one. Tanks for the mammaries.
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 688
addict
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addict
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 688 |
Tanks for the mammaries.Mammaries? 
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189 |
Congratulations, Angel! Our first postee of 2002! 
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409
Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409 |
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819 |
Mammaries?
Oh, c'mon, you remember the song, "Tanks for the mammaries!" Oh. That joke was a real bust.
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605 |
Geoff, this subject began with your post about the dyslexic drunk. I Bob Hope you wouldn't have preferred the dyslexia-proof, palindromic synonym? 
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