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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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if we are speaking of something that belongs to more than one person, we say your-all's
The ASp and I were discussing this last night. I decided on Southern syntax coupled with Northern style; appropriate for the Southern, yet non-secessionist Kentucky.
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Joined: Aug 2001
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Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605 |
Dec 28
Dearest Edward,
What a surprise! Four calling birds arrived this morning. They are very sweet, even if they do call rather loudly--they make telephoning almost impossible--but I expect they'll calm down when they get used to their new home. Anyway, I'm very grateful, of course I am.
Love from Emily
I would imagine so, for she is so loving to everybody and everything. But you would not fowlly play with my affections, would you, you dear man?
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296 |
December 28th
Dearest,
Sorry the calling birds were sent to your address. Mistake there. I thought I'd sent them elsewhere. They do NOT like French hens, so please keep them apart. You were supposed to have received four cheddar cheeses to use with the French hen eggs. Have you banged up your fingers, by the way, constructing the hens' nests? Please be careful not to, for I have a lovely surprise tomorrow.
Ding dong merrily on high am I,
Edward
I wonder what sweet Jacqueline thought about receiving those cheddar cheeses? Oh, dear...
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Joined: Aug 2001
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Dec 29
Dearest Edward,
The mailman has just delivered five most beautiful gold rings, one for each finger, and all fitting perfectly! A really lovely present!
Lovelier, in a way, than birds, which do take rather a lot of looking after. The four that arrived yesterday are still making a terrible row, and I'm afraid none of us got much sleep last night. Mother says she wants to use the rings to "wring" their necks. Mother has such a sense of humor. This time she's only joking, I think, but I do know what she means.
Still, I love the rings.
Bless you,
Emily
I offered dear sweet Jacquline some of our poultry (you really had gone a wee bit overboard, my darling) but to my great surprise, she politely declined.
But why would you be sending gifts to Jacqulyn?
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296 |
December 29th
Dearest Emily,
Oh, joyous season! I knew you would delight in the glitter of all that's gold, my esculent little aubergine! I, too, am a great fan of your mother's habitual witty entrechats that never fail to elicit the requisite belly laugh from me. Has your mum trimmed her moustache?
Sprout some millet seed for the calling birds, and they should calm down. Oh, and to insure your mother and your most delectable self of some degree of slumber, when you're at the pet store for the millet seed, look about for some cage and coop night covers.
Your devoted,
Edward
Sending fair Jacqueline gifts? Why 'twas but a lark, dearest! Besides, she is a cutie and I never noticed that your eyes have an ever-so-slightly greenish cast...
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Carpal Tunnel
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Dec 30
Dear Edward,
Whatever I expected to find when I opened the front door this morning, it certainly wasn't six socking great geese laying eggs all over the porch. Frankly, I rather hoped that you had stopped sending me birds. We have no room for them, and they've already ruined the croquet lawn. I know you meant well, but let's call a halt, shall we?
Love,
Emily
"aubergine"? Is that any way to speak of my figure? Truly, Edward, you are taking liberties.
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Joined: Sep 2001
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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December 30th
Dearest Emily,
Not just an aubergine, my dear...an esculent one! I'm possessed of exquisite tastes! Now, you know you love the geese. 'Fess up, little bird, and make my heart gay again! I'm feathering your nest, little goose girl. Not too many ladies in our village can claim to have opened their door in the morning light to a gaggle of geese on their doorsteps! But you, sweet love, can.
I think you should purchase that jacuzi you've been talking about. Might come in handy tomorrow.
Cocksure and fancy free,
Your Edward
Happy the jealousy over Jacks is quiescent now. That was such a bother, though Jacks and I had a few laughs over it.
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Dec 31
Edward!
I thought I said NO MORE BIRDS. This morning I woke up to find no more than seven swans, all trying to get into our tiny goldfish pond. I'd rather not think what's happened to the goldfish. The whole house seems to be full of birds, to say nothing of what they leave behind them, so please, please, stop!
Your Emily
And you and Jackie are now sharing giggles together?
oh, god! Now I see why Jackie declined my offer of poultry several days ago! She knew all along! What have you two been hatching??
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Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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What have you two been hatching??
Edward, do you want to break the news?
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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December 31st
Dearest JackieJaguar, I mean Emily!
Was it swans I sent to you? Oh, yes, that's right...swans. Things are ever so confusing these days with so much buying, filling out of delivery slips, meeting a certain jejune party for a tête à tête. My head's swirling, although my heart is fluttering over you, glorious you! Guano makes wonderful manure, so apply yourself vigorously and in the ebullience of the season, with your shovel and hoe, wrapped in red plaid ribbon. Quite a festive touch, don't you agree? And buy the jacuzi! The swans will love it. Just be careful about the temperature setting.
Still making my list and checking it twice,
Naughty Edward
No, Jacks. Not quite yet. I've got a load of beasts still to get out of my backyard!
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