Wordsmith.org: the magic of words

Wordsmith Talk

About Us | What's New | Search | Site Map | Contact Us  

Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 4
#34476 07/02/01 10:32 PM
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511
Carpal Tunnel
OP Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511
OK, y'all riddlers asked for it:

-How many sociologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Twelve, enough to form a committee to write a working paper on "Coping with the Dark"


-How many sopranos does it take?

One to hold it and the rest of us to revolve around her.


-How many WASPs? (I can ask this because I pretty much am one, when I'm not being an ASp )

Two: one to call the electrician and the other to mix the martinis.

As a member of the de facto gutter police I'd like to keep this thread away from the original joke *as *well *as non-offensive in general (yeah, right, road to hell paved with good intentions, etc usw but once one of you miscreants begins the descent I'll gleefully join in)

Have at!


#34477 07/03/01 04:39 AM
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one, but the bulb has really got to want to change ...

How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?

100 - one to hold the bulb and 99 to turn da house!



The idiot also known as Capfka ...
#34478 07/03/01 11:17 AM
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb?

OK, CapK. You're the big California expert now, having been through there and taken the subway and everthang, but.

A) It's not How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb?

2) It's How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

And the answer is

Þ) Californians don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in hot tubs



#34479 07/03/01 12:37 PM
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 1,055
B
old hand
Offline
old hand
B
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 1,055
How many roadies does it take to change a light bulb?

One, two ! One, two ! One, two !


#34480 07/03/01 01:40 PM
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 163
J
member
Offline
member
J
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 163
- How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
- We don't. That's a hardware problem.

- How many programmers does it take to wall-paper a room?
- Twelve, but you have to slice them thinly.

- How many technical writers does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
- Just one, provided there's a programmer around to explain how to do it.




#34481 07/03/01 08:14 PM
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,094
J
old hand
Offline
old hand
J
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,094
It's How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

No no no, it only takes one to screw it in, but it's not like he can use it. There's no power left to turn it on!


#34482 07/03/01 08:40 PM
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
W
wwh Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
W
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
I have never seen a time and motion study on Californians screwing in lightbulbs. But millions of them screwed up the whole power system by thinking that 8 cents a kwh was a fair price. I never paid less than 12 cents per kwh in the East, and can't figure out how the Californians thought that they were entitled to pay only 8 cents.


#34483 07/03/01 08:54 PM
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,094
J
old hand
Offline
old hand
J
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,094
Ok, here's a website that has more lightbulb jokes that you can imagine. I think they cover all the bases, here are a couple pertinent examples:

Q: How many lexicographers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two. One to change it and one to protest that he should have changed it to "light bulb".

Q: How many merkins does it take to replace a light-bulb?
A: One, if you screw 'em in tight enough.

Q: How many Hobbits does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 1 to complain that the lightbulb isn't working, 5 to hold a meeting to decide what to do about it, 20 to form an expedition to the fabled Lightbulb Mines of Mythrill, 30 to throw a going-away party, 1 to ask Gandalf for directions, 1 to sell into slavery when the directions aren't stuck to, and they end up in entirely the wrong part of the country, and ready cash runs low, 5 get lost through natural wastage (bandits, murderers, monsters, etc,) 1 to be thrown to the Dragon that guards the Lightbulb hoarde, 1 to be thrown to the dragon to cover the retreat, 2 to carry the box of lightbulbs, 5 to find a large, sword-wielding barbarian to escort them home with the lightbulbs, another 30 to throw a safe-return party, 5 to get rid of the barbarian, who in typical style, got drunk at the party, 5 to find an Elf in the neighbourhood tall enough to change the lightbulb, one elf, and 5 to compose ballads of derring-do, heroism, sacrifice and lightbulbs. A grand total of 118.



http://www.laughnet.net/archive/jokes/lightbul.htm


#34484 07/03/01 09:11 PM
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
W
wwh Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
W
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858

" How many merkins does it take to replace a light-bulb?"

I have heard of blond pubic wigs, but never one sufficiently fluorescent to light up a room.


#34485 07/03/01 11:36 PM
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 508
N
addict
Offline
addict
N
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 508
Ok, here's a website that has more lightbulb jokes that you can imagine

I'm speechless at the amount of time, energy and brain power invested in lightbulb jokes! Don't know whether it's evidence of colossal creativity or having waaaay too much time on your hands. (That's generalized "you," Jazz, not you personally.)


Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 4

Moderated by  Jackie 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Statistics
Forums16
Topics13,912
Posts229,283
Members9,179
Most Online3,341
Dec 9th, 2011
Newest Members
TRIALNERRA, befuddledmind, KILL_YOUR_SUV, Heather_Turey, Standy
9,179 Registered Users
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 676 guests, and 4 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Top Posters(30 Days)
Top Posters
wwh 13,858
Faldage 13,803
Jackie 11,613
tsuwm 10,542
wofahulicodoc 10,510
LukeJavan8 9,916
AnnaStrophic 6,511
Wordwind 6,296
of troy 5,400
Disclaimer: Wordsmith.org is not responsible for views expressed on this site. Use of this forum is at your own risk and liability - you agree to hold Wordsmith.org and its associates harmless as a condition of using it.

Home | Today's Word | Yesterday's Word | Subscribe | FAQ | Archives | Search | Feedback
Wordsmith Talk | Wordsmith Chat

© 1994-2024 Wordsmith

Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5