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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 328
enthusiast
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OP
enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 328 |
My brother subscribes to the Dilbert Newsletter, and I often find it highly amusing. Here's a sample from the latest issue: Boss and Cow-orker Quotes
-------------------------
Here are some more True Quotes from pointy-haired bosses,
cow-orkers, and family members submitted by vigilant DNRC
members:
"It's good to get a taste of someone else's moccasins!"
"It's a mute point."
"This is for your FYI..."
"We definitely don't want to nail ourselves into a corner."
"I'm not the brightest bean in the hole."
"I want quality, not quantity; but lots of it."
In one five-minute exchange, a co-worker who thinks he ought
to be my boss said, "supposubly," "expecially," "irregardless,"
"that doesn't jive," and my personal favorite,
"We have to start a brass roots movement." This was all in
the context of explaining why he deserved more management
authority.
I was once told by a co-worker, "Don't look for a gift in the
horse's mouth." This was the same person who couldn't
understand why a pot would call the "cattle" black.There also hilarious tales of "In duhviduals" in each issue. If you want to subscribe, enter your e-mail address at http://www.comics.com/comics/dilbert/dnrc/subscribe
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
Dear Rapunzel: Thanks for the link. I used to have a pointy headed boss, so I enjoy Dilbert. Uncle Bill
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757 |
Thanks, Rapunzel. I loved some of the InDuhvidualisms! 
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439 |
Thanks Long-tressed Lady Rapunzel, now that I am out of the corporate world it's good to keep up with the nonsense ... makes me even more grateful I can pick and choose where I spend my time!
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 328
enthusiast
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OP
enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 328 |
Some more gems from the latest newsletter:
True Quotes from Induhviduals
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Here are more true quotes submitted by DNRC members. Most of these
are from managers. As you will see, Induhviduals continue to be
confused by critters or body parts.
"If you have that, the world is your walrus."
"I've got ears like a hawk."
"He looks like he's three sheep in the wind."
"I am going to let you move around more, just to break up the mahogany."
"We don't want to screw ourselves in the foot."
"I think it's time to get our sleeves dirty."
"You can't see the forest if you're barking up the wrong tree."
"We need to get our ducks in the fire."
"We don't want to go barking up a dead horse."
"We're going to come out of this smelling like geniuses!"
"The ball is squarely on our shoulders."
"It's like those who can't, don't have to!"
"Your work is late, but that's neither hide nor there!"
"Sometimes you have to turn a blind ear to these things."
"The best way to learn is from the school of Fort Knox."
"Don't do anything in public that you wouldn't do in private."
By e-mail: "... Does anyone have a concern? Speak now, or hold your piece!"
"The Indians are nervous at Waterloo."
"Throw that monkey back over the fence."
"Let's not put our dandruff up in the air."
"Those new salesmen are still green behind the ears."
"She really rubs me up the wrong tree."
A former CEO made the following statement. "Some of you think that
only half of the Board of Directors do all the work and the rest do
nothing, actually the reverse is true."
The receptionist asked me, "Do you still live at your current
address?"
"Well, I'm just busier than a one-armed naked man."
"It depends whether you are drinking from the side of the glass
that is half-full or half-empty."
My manager once said, "We triumphed over diversity."
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,526
veteran
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veteran
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,526 |
"We're going to come out of this smelling like geniuses!"
So ... this means they're going to smell like 99% perspiration.
"The best way to learn is from the school of Fort Knox."
That would be me.
k
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636 |
"It's like those who can't, don't have to!"Truer words have never been spoken!  Unfortunately, they all get a paycheck anyway, and some get one bigger than mine. 
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204 |
For me, the best advice, above is
Don't do anything in public that you wouldn't do in private.
Also, any one who has been to Waterloo (train station, in London) will understand why the Indians are worried!
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