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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2000
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You're smart, dammit, and don't argue with me about that any more!
Yes ma'am. [169 to go emoticon]
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379 |
<<Shades of George Orwell!>>
A country where:
we have our second appointed president in less than 30 years;
the police murder a black man when he refuses to buy drugs from them; they are defended by the mayor;
the police murder a black man for taking out his wallet; they are defended by the mayor
a retarded man is executed by the state;
the supreme court, avid in its January defense of due process, just as avidly decrees the right of police to put you in handcuffs for jay walking
And you say shades of George Orwell?
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Thanks for sharing those, Rouspeteur. Like Jackie, i found the rock-bottom-and-digging one particularly funny. I was discussing these with a friend today, and somehow our thoughts evolved to the delights of dilogical statements. He shared this link with me, which some of you may enjoy: http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/career/index.html. (Click on "Performance Review Generator")
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439 |
Rouspeteur,
Here are a few more to add to your list.
(Courtesy of my-son-the-Major)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."
>"A gross ignoramus - - - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
>"He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless."
>"He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
>"I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
>"He's been working with glue too much."
>"He would argue with a signpost."
>"He has a knack for making strangers immediately."
>"He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
>"When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
>"If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."
>"A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
>"A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
>"Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
>"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
>"Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
>"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
>"If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
>"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
>"It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."
>"One neuron short of a synapse."
>"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
>"Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes."
>"The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 163
member
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member
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Posts: 163 |
Thanks wow, I have appended your son's list to mine.
Another such example, that I know is true, occurred when a friend of mine was on shift at the Newfoundland Weather Centre some years back.
There a relatively new meteorologist who was still in his 2.5 year probationary period noticed the grizzled old shift supervisor busily doing paperwork during a lull in the action. He inquired as to what he was doing. The supervisor responded, "I am doing appraisals. In fact, I'm doing yours right now."
"Can I see it?"
"No. They are confidential until they have been formally approved."
"Ok."
A few minutes later, the supervisor looks up and asks one of the senior met.'s on shift, "Is screw-up hyphenated?"
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
Yes ma'am. [169 to go emoticon]
Thank you, Sweet Max. Never mind the 169. You are wonderful!
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 609
addict
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addict
Joined: Feb 2001
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rereading the questions at leisure gives several opportunities for reinterpretation of the questions: Q."perfume" is spelled from the first letters of "Pigs eat..." - Depends what you mean by "first letters" Q.The letters of "spoon feed" are in reverse alphabetical order. And the double letters are ? Q. John's grandfather's daughter could be John's son's sister. Assuming the same John and apart from Alabama, you require half-relations. I do regularly sing (not a melodious treat) the song "I'm my own Grandpa" (and google found it at http://www.clinton.net/~sammy/grandpa.htm amongst others) so you just figure it out. Singing that to myself slowed me down at question 28 and that's my excuse for being in the measurable grades!  Rod
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819 |
A couple more: She has a lovely gilded cage, but her canary's croaked. He is a frequent nominee for a Darwin award. BTW, B96, the 63 Celsius was pure hyperbole - just for laughs.  I just barely qualified even when I had full neural connectivity. Nowadays I'm the AWAD village idiot.  Mine's NOT bigger than yours! 
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,773
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,773 |
Nowadays I'm the AWAD village idiot.Well, frog feathers. You mean that I can't even claim that distinction? I'll fight ya for it, Geoff.  
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
Nowadays I'm the AWAD village idiot.
MyGeoff, you do fine, Sweetie--trust me on that.
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