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re: use of spoons for other purposes, gutter police lookout!

A guy dining in a restaurant spoke to a waiter; "Why does each waiter and waitress have a knife, fork, and spoon, in their breast pocket?"
The waiter answered, "A time and motion study found that diners were often dropping cutlery, and the waitpeople were spending time fetching new ones. Now we can immediately hand a clean item to the diner and pick up a new one on our next trip past the rack."
"And why do all the waiters have a black thread protruding from their flies?"
"Well, the same time and motion study found that we were spending a lot of time washing our hands after using the toilets. This way we can pull out the member without using our hands, thus saving more time"
"I can see that works for getting it out, but what about putting it away?"
"Well, I don't know about the other waiters, but I use the spoon"
Apologies, but it does fit the topic, Rod


#25706 04/23/01 03:47 PM
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Oh, Rodward you naughty boy! But, re your joke :

Thinking about never accepting a spoon in those circumstances I remembered an old superstition
"Stir with a knife, stir for strife."
Anyone have any other cutlery superstitions.... oh! oh! and dropping a spoon means "a new baby" and dropping a knife "a man will come to your door."
Do you all know those or similar? Or are they new-to-you?
wow


#25707 04/23/01 03:52 PM
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re cutlery superstitions. The only one that come to mind is that you must never give a knife as a present, presumably because if they cut themselves it will be your fault. So they must give you at least a penny for the knife; and then when they chop their fingers off, you have a clear conscience. Never did understand that one. Or can someone provide a better reason.
Rod


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never give a knife as a present, presumably because if they cut themselves it will be your fault.

I know that one -- at least one version -- if you give a knife/knives it will cut/end the friendship .. "paying" for the gift is the antidote.
wow


#25709 04/23/01 05:13 PM
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All things that "cut" and things in pairs are taboo for Japanese wedding gifts-- the idea of "cutting" being the opposite of "joining"-- and things are given in odd numbers too-- not easy to divide--so by their nature- joined together. Household sets of dishes, glasses, and flatware (cutlery) are sold in sets of 5, or 10, not 4 and 8 as in common in US.


#25710 04/23/01 07:27 PM
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Things are given in odd numbers too-- not easy to divide--so by their nature- joined together... Household sets...are sold in sets of 5, or 10, not 4 and 8 as in common in US.


yeah, dividing ten by two always gives me problems.

but don't you know... here in CA the division of the estate after a divorce is simple: The wife gets the stuff, the husband gets the bills.

~Wife#2


edit: how funny, it only just now occurred to me that my husband did somehow wind up with exactly one (1) bowl, one (1) knife and one (1) spoon from his previous marital pot, and i only recently realized the source of these odd pieces and returned them to Wife#1, who was delighted to once again have a complete set. bet they got those knives for a wedding gift... *EG*

#25711 04/23/01 08:36 PM
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well as a #1 wife, I can't say I am all that well off-- but I did get the best of the bargain--I got rid of him-- Poor wife#2-- she is married to him!

(this of course is a personal view-- my divorce was rather ugly-- but in the end I was finally divorced! now that kid are independent and not an issue-- i never really have to have any dealings with him -- truly divorced!)


#25712 04/24/01 08:04 AM
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the division of the estate after a divorce is simple: The wife gets the stuff, the husband gets the bills

which leads to the story about the guy buying a Barbie doll for his daughter. The assistant explained that they had all sorts, Barbie on the Beach, Barbie the trial lawyer, Barbie the Supermodel, all the same price except Barbie the new divorcee, which was 5 times the price, because she came complete with Ken's convertible, Ken's house, Ken's Luxury camper van, etc.

And back on Knives as presents. The reason you shouldn't give them as WEDDING presents is because you might get charged as an accessory when the marriage turns a little sour.

Which segues onto a mixed metaphore I heard recently refring to a favoured project: "Now the honeymoon period is over. it's about time we started learning the facts of life"

Rod


#25713 04/24/01 01:08 PM
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well as a #1 wife, I can't say I am all that well off-- but I did get the best of the bargain--I got rid of him-- Poor wife#2-- she is
married to him!


Hmmmm..... When I hear post-matrimony acrimony I wonder why the bitter one thought it a good idea to marry in the first place!

There's a country song that says something to the effect that every few years (the singer) finds a woman whom he passionately hates, and he buys her a house!

"Divorces are made in heaven." Oscar Wilde

"Zsa Zsa Gabor is an excellent housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house." Henny Youngman

It has been said that a woman marries a man thinking, "I can change him." A man marries a woman thinking, "She'll always be just as she is." They're both wrong. Attribution unknown, but spot-on!

Geoff the divorced


#25714 04/24/01 07:10 PM
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When I hear post-matrimony acrimony I wonder why the bitter one thought it a good idea to marry in the first place!

You never had an idea that seemed like a good one and turned out not so ?
Lucky you! What's your secret?
wow


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