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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Perhaps some short parodies of childrens poems might be amusing. The only one I can think of that is not vile is the old one:
The boy stood on the burning deck
Eating peanuts by the peck
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Posts: 2,379
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379 |
With apologies for the meter, a strange version of a German lullaby goes:
Sleep baby sleep
Mother is in the battle
Father is in Pommerania
Pommerania is all burned up
Sleep baby sleep
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Homer Simpson's version of Do-Re-Me was recently posted in another thread.
One reason Lewis Carrol's Alice books were popular was that many of his poems were parodies of stuffy poems the kids had to learn - see The Annotated Alice version for details.
I liked the Millenium Pie parody of American Pie last year.
And Miles Kington (or was it Alan Coren?) has a great story about Lewis Carrol trying to publish "The Jaberwocky" but there wasn't time to proof read it, which is why it is like it is.
I will try to find references to these and dredge a few more from my memory and post them later.
Ro* Ward
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Sung to the tune of Side By Side:
Me and my love we got married
Her over the threshhold I carried
All the guests had gone home
We were alone, Side by Side.
We got ready for bed then,
I nearly fell over dead when,
Her teeth and her hair,
she placed on the chair, side by side.
Her wooden leg to follow,
her little glass eye so small,
along with some other .... attachments
she placed on the chair by the wall.
I was so broken hearted,
from most of my gal I was parted.
So I slept on the chair,
there was more of her there, side by side
Ro* Ward
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
Silver bells and cockle shells,
And the rest is none of your da* business.
wow
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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All of God's children hold their feet to the fire
Some scream loud and some scream higher
Some of the scream, (high pitched terrified voice) "It's a funeral pyre!"
And some just flap their wings
Or gums
Or anything they feel like.
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veteran
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veteran
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Popular in the early 60s
Little Miss Muffett
Sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider
And sat dawn beside her
And said,
"What ya got in the bowl, bitch?"
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Joined: Nov 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 3,439 |
In another thread : songs that get stuck in your head.
Around holiday I get this parody carol:
See the little angel ascend up, ascend up,
See the little angels ascend up on high.
Which end up?
Ascend up.
Which end up?
Ascend up.
See the little angels ascend up on high.
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Carpal Tunnel
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Peter, Peter, Pumkin eater, Had a wife and couldn't keep her, Had other, and couldn't lover her Up the chimney he did shove her Or I'm a little tea pot short and stout- Here is my Handle, here is my spout (look down at arms, and find them both akimbo) Oh, shit, I am a sugar bowl!I learned both of those before the age of 10- and later this one... Old Mother Hubard, went to the cupboard, To get her poor doggie a bone When she bent over, the dog got a boner, and gave her a bone of his own...   and there is the "a weela weela walla" the Dublins childrens song, that i never really learned, and only remember a a word or two... about the mother who stuck a knife in her baby's head (a weela, weela walla, down by the river sallya) (and the results--in all the gory legal details) and Moral of the story is, don't go sticking knifes in baby's heads (a weela, weela walla, down by the river sallya!) (the song is always sung in a cheerful way-- even though it is somewhat morbid!)
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the old mother hubbard reference reminds me of a couple of our favorites as kids: Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, All the king's horses and all the king's men, Had one f-in big omelet. ...and... Mary had a little lamb, her father shot it dead. Now it goes to school with her between two hunks of bread. then of course there was this gem of a song for the playground: My eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school we've tortured every teacher and we've broken every rule. we've speared the secretary and we've shot the principal and our troops are marching on. Glory, glory halleluia Teach hit me with a ruler the ruler didn't break so she hit me with a rake and the blood came gushing out. ... and lastly, there was my personal favorite: On top of old smoky all covered with blood i shot my poor sister with a .44 slug i went to her funeral i went to her grave instead of throwing flowers i threw a grenade. kids are horrid, aren't they?? 
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