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To jog the memories of the old-timers, and inform the younger brethren and sistren and those in other areas not familiar with the subject:
Back in the 40s, when roads were mostly 2 or 3 lanes and cars were rarely driven faster than 45 m.p.h., and when men shaved with straight or single-edge safety razors with a block of soap and a badger-hair brush, Burma Shave created one of the classic advertising campaigns for its new prepared easy-to-use shaving cream.
It consisted of a series of small red signs posted at intervals of about 300 feet along the roadsides. Each sign had a verse of a short poem; the last read, "BURMA SHAVE". As you drove along, you read the poem and the ad. These became classics. My favorite was:
Car in the ditch
Driver in the tree
The moon was full
And so was he
BURMA SHAVE
Do any of you remember some of these? (and don't tell me you can do a google and find a site with every one listed)
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Being a nalien, I had never come across these, Bob - clever stuff! Of course I had to follow your don't do this advice (I'm a maverick), and I liked this one! Altho insured
Remember, kiddo
They don't pay you
They pay
Your widow
Burma-Shave
http://www.fiftiesweb.com/burma1.htm
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I don't really remember "Burma Shave's" I remember my parents reading them-- as we drove places-- but either i didn't know how to read-- or didn't know where to look for the signs-- so i never really "saw" or read one in place.
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One of my favorites is----
"Her chariot raced at eighty per,
They found the remains of what had "been her".
(I know, but try rhyming with "been she".)
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Pooh-Bah
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Given that all of these are safety plugs, I wonder if Burma paid a nick-el (ugh) for placing them along the median. -- By the way, if the roads were three-laned, where *was* the median?
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The more I think about it the more sure I am that the ending is, of course, Ben Hur, not "been her". Silly mistake.
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3 lanes in each direction-- with a median strip between the opposite directions...
Now that most new interstated are 4 or 5 lanes-- ( even the LIE-- the worlds largest parking lot) is getting a 4th lane , out side of NYC limits, and the NJ turnpike is 12 lanes wide-- (6 in each direction) at least, parts of it are.
(I think inselpeter, like many NY, NYC, NYSer's doesn't drive --or drive much.)
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The Station Restaurant in Ithaca has one (real thing, I believe) along side its dining car
He who drives
When he's been drinking
Counts on you
To do his thinking
Burma Shave
One I remember from my youth
Free, free
A trip to Mars
For 900
Empty jars
Burma Shave
The first person to collect 900 empty Burma Shave jars and send them in got a free trip to Mars (Marz?), Germany.
There's a book, The Verse by the Side of the Road that not only lists the entire run but relates the story. They used to get local farmers to mount and care for the signs, keeping them clean and painted.
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Pooh-Bah
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(I think inselpeter, like many NY, NYC, NYSer's doesn't drive --or drive much.)
Think again. At least I drive to park--most recently at the distance of a one hour subway ride from home. And in the rain.
In my personal lexicon, a road with 12 lanes in either direction (and three perpendicular in each) is a 24 (or 30) lane highway. [obnocticon]
And across the North River from us, 9W, a US route of the Burma Shave era, is a two- four- or five-lane--and was just two until they widened it for commuter traffic. 2x [obnocticon]
Route one, The Boston Post Road is more interesting, but I doubt it ever posted a Burma. [Obn]
But this is getting off topic.
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"plug...nickel"--eeyowtch. Two points, though.
On a two-lane highway there was no median. You just had to hope the oncoming drivers all stayed on their side. These would sometimes widen to three lanes on a long and/or
steep uphill so the big trucks wouldn't hold everybody up behind them. Why I am using the past tense?? They're still here. [I need more sleep emoticon]
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On a two-lane highway there was no median. You just had to hope the oncoming drivers all stayed on their side. These would sometimes widen to three lanes on a long and/or steep uphill so the big trucks wouldn't hold everybody up behind them.This is probably one of the few times when Canadians will admit a smidgeon of envy of the US - for their interstate highways. I've driven from one side of Canada to the other on the Trans-Canada Highway (it's our main highway, it sounds like it should be big, right?), and there are substantial portions of it that are not divided. Just two lanes, that is, one in each direction, no median. In the 600 km (375 miles) from Winnipeg to Regina, 400 of those kilometres are undivided and on that whole stretch there are only two "passing lanes" - the aforementioned extra third lane to go around trucks. In fact, most of the Trans-Canada is not divided, now that I think about it. If you're behind a truck you just have to gun it and hope that you could see far enough away not to hit anyone! And driving through the Rockies is nerve-wracking for a flatlander like myself... 
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And driving through the Rockies is nerve-wracking for a flatlander like myself...
I agree-- US roads are, for the most part great-- I was afraid of the rockies-- till i got there--The road (I-80) was so well graded-- i hit worse grades in the east! Going through the Delaware water gap was one of the "worst" stretches-- but at least i was familiar with the road (been through it more time than i can count-) and it was early in the trip--the first 4 hours of a 5 day trip.
There was some construction, and no medians, but in general, the rode was always 2 lanes in each direction, and 90% a median of 20 or more feet-- (over 6 meters).
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"...for a flatlander like myself...
Hmmm. Tsuwm = Anu = Wordsmith, and Bean = Flatlander.
Anybody else care to confess multiple personalities?
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Anybody else care to confess multiple personalities?Not I. I can proudly say that I am no one else, and Jackie can confirm that. 
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Jackie can confirm thatGather round, Max - both of you - and we can sing a rousing chorus of Me, Myself and I
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Gather round, Max - both of you - and we can sing a rousing chorus of Me, Myself and I
No no, Aunt mav--Max has three eyes. And I can tell you, I'm beginning to think that triangular involvement is fun!
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No no, Aunt mav--Max has three eyes
So, what did you think of my little pun?
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So, what did you think of my little pun?
Sufferin' submarines! There's no one like you,
Maxie-million.
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Regarding 3 lane highways...we had one that went 50 miles or more and of course the amount of head on crashes in the middle lane was terrifically high. And yes there were Burma Shave signs usually along farm land frontage...I have thought that probably the farmers got a pittance for the use of their land???? And I know 50 mph was FAST! When I started driving my Dad would look at the windshield and say...kidding me...that he saw 50mph bugs! on it! All these experiences were in mid Indiana in the 30's and 40's.
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Des, those little old highways are so much more interesting than the speedy Interstates, where often all you see is a long stretch of trees, safely fenced off from the occupants of all those moving vehicles. You could see a farm wife tending the garden, while the farmer was operating some interesting machine out in the field, and hear the cows bawling to be milked; in the towns, you had to stop for a traffic light at practically every corner, and you could see people coming out of the stores with all kinds of things, and sometimes you could see right into their houses. Lonely schools out in the middle of nowhere--probably the only one in the county--and maybe a class would be outside playing kickball. All those neon signs! Diners--coffee 10 cents, free refill. Old men in overalls, on benches around the courthouse yard. On the way to Tennessee, we'd always stop at the Wigwam motel, a
concrete tepee that delighted my childish eyes. The heavy
waitress, Myrtle, knew just how I liked my cheeseburger and
chocolate milkshake. Thank you for this trip down memory
"lane".
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You are right about the Trans-Canada Highway Bean. When my cousin came in from Califorinia he was amazed that the elevated part that runs right through Montréal has no shoulder in case of emergencies and that several of the exits are from the fast lane.
(What!! You went all the way through and you didn`t stop in to see me!)
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Jackie wrote >Des, those little old highways are so much more interesting than the speedy Interstates
-------------------------------------------------
In summer the Interstate 93 near the N.H. seacoast is clogged with people heading for beach and mountains. Especially on long weekends!
If needs be we travel at those times we take the back roads where we may have to go more slowly but at least we are "turning a wheel."
Some of my more enjoyable days, travelling several times across the USA, were spent on roads parallel to Interstates.
I got to my destination ... perhaps a bit more slowly but certainly with less stress and the added bonus being that I "saw" the country.
wow
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Some of my more enjoyable days, travelling several times across the USA, were spent on roads parallel to Interstates.Glad to hear it. That's how SWMBO and I plan to cross the States in June/July. Yippee! 
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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...And, Kiwi from the capital, how many of us US'ns do you and your better half, aka SWMBO, plan to visit [stocking-up-on-grits emoticon]?
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And, Kiwi from the capital, how many of us US'ns do you and your better half, aka SWMBO, plan to visit
Well, Anna, I'll give you fair warning: if'n they git to
Looahvull, Ah just might keep 'em here so long that they won't have time for anybody else...[stocking up on Kentucky bourbon emoticon]
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Now, now ... let us remember we are Ladies!
I hope the Zild adventurers will keep a daily journal to record the memories for later revisiting. Memories fade or get mixed up so easily without a written record. It can seem a nuisance while "on the road" but later ...well,
I'm so glad I kept a journal on my first visit to Ireland.
Thus spake the former reporter.
Oh, CapK ... have you ever tasted a "caught today" NH lobster?
wow
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The pool should be quite refreshing by then...
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Oh, CapK ... have you ever tasted a "caught today" NH lobster?
Oh, no! Nuh UH! "Let's be Ladies", huh? Sure, fine--you and Anna go off and be "Ladies" together, and meantime I'll entertain the Zilders so well they may never want to leave!
Nyah, nyah! Psst--Cap. K.--those lobsters may be good, but if you'll come to Louisville, I'll get you some paua patties if I have to have them flown in from NZ!
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Hmmm. I've been away for a whole 24 hours, suffering in the sun and being forced to stay in luxurious surroundings in Napier, and here you all are talking about me behind my back! We've not made any firm plans - except, yes, to see Jackie, who wants to demonstrate why "He needed killin' " is a legitimate legal defence for murder in Ol' Kaintuck, and Wow, who insists that I admire the shortish, but beautiful NH coastline. But don't feed me lobster, please. I'm allergic to it. Worked parts of two seasons on a crayfish (lobster) boat. Never ate any of the product! Jackie's offer of paua patties would be more exceptable, except I wonder where abalones grow in the mid-West, I really do, Jackie ... And anyone who could supply large numbers of Bluff oysters, well, both of us would move in and you'd never get rid of us until the US Immigration Service bundled us up and deported us! Our idea is to follow Route 66, kinda, with diversions which may be longer or shorter, depending on where the subject of the diversion is. Elizabeth, any chance of moving Georgia a little further west? We'll be typical rubberneckers. Anything that looks interesting or we've seen in some medium, or I've seen before and want to show Sandra, we'll go and see - or at least as much of it as we can do in the time we have available. Your invitations are all very kind, and we'll try to visit as many of you as we can. It'd be really great to meet all you US'ns and maybe a Canuck or two. I hope to have a good quality digital camera with me and when I can I'd like to put up a page on a web site with piccies of everyone (who's prepared to be photographed and exposed to public pillor... I mean, scrutiny. Plus some words, of course, how could I do it without words? That, at the end of the day, is what the Board is all about, isn't it?
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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I hope not! But you may have a good time seeing it *from* your rental! If a bluff oyster's an oyster, you'll have to stop by New Orleans, you can still shuck 'em there for the price of corn. Give a holler if you need digs in Manhattan; if I get lucky, so might you and you can have the place to yourselves.
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But, but, route 66 is sooooo far away. How can you possibly swing over to Montréal from all the way over there?
See now, if you start off here around June 24th, you will be just in time to celebrate Québec provincial party - St Jean Baptist (but you must be prepared to have a nip or twelve). Then, you can drive on down to Manhattan (only about 6 hours) for the 4th of July - BIG U.S. party.
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If they have Prairie and Mountain Oysters, I'm sure they can find some Prairie and Mountain Abalones!
Ro* Ward
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For the youngsters among us "See the USA in your Chevrolet" was sung by Dinah Shore as opening of her TV variety show in days long ago.... sponsors of the show being Chevrolet cars. It was also a promotion for US tourism. ------------------------------------------------------- belM suggests Then, you can drive on down to Manhattan (only about 6 hours) for the 4th of July - BIG U.S. party.Six hours bel? In a Maserati maybe if you don't care how many traffic tickets you amass! However from Montreal you can make a stop in God's Country -New Hampshire. From Montreal, Canada Rt 10 west to Rt 55 South, crossing border at Derby Line and picking up US Interstate 91 down to St Johnsbury Vermont where you switch to US Interstate 93 through the magnificent White Mountains to Manchester,NH -- where you swing on to Rte 101 east to the seacoast which ends about three quarters of a mile from my front door! THAT's about six hours with a stop for lunch. We are just an hour north of Boston (and Logan International Airport - planes to everywhere) where they throw a pretty good July 4th party, being one of the original instigators of that Revolution aka The War of American Independence! And no lobster, CapK, promise. How about a lovely tenderloin of beef roast? My son is a magnificent cook, and I'm no mean shakes in the kitchen myself! Given the beef problems in UK you might want to get all the meat you can while here as chicken is probably safest in UK these days for someone allergic to fish! See ya' wow
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"six hours from Quebec to New York"
Quebecs *fly* on the interstate.
"Crossing at Derby Line"
If you cross at Derby Line, be sure to use the main duane on the interstate. If you cut through town, the delay can be lengthy as they search your car. Believe me; I know.
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Prairie/Mountain abalones
Sure you can find them -- at any shoe repair shop.
One of my favorite Henny Youngman one liners:
What do you get if you cross a crocodile with an abalone?
A crockabaloney.
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Yes, CK, i do hope to see you in NY, but 6 hours is a bit optomistic (from Montreal) Vermont (I 91), is a good route-- but when i used to travel to a point north of St Johnsburry-- it was a good eight hours door to door--(and I was going to North queens, Manhattan would be another 10 to 15 miles!) and in most of Vermont I was speeding (Vermont got its hand slapped by US Highways, it was not enforcing speed limit--) so i regularly went 70 to 85 miles an hour-- as fast as my little car could go (back in the days when US cars had only 3 forward gears-- not 4 + overdrive.) But NY does put on a nice little show of fireworks for the 4th, and afterwards, you (and others) could come back to my 'county estate" for the classic cook out, eat blueberries right of the bushes -- and catch fireflies! (of course you can do all the same things, in Boston area, with Wow,--except for the fireworks-- NY show is bigger.) Aren't you sorry you mentioned you where coming? we are fighting over getting you and your spouse to come visit like dogs over a bone! Have a great tip, I hope to see you, but my feeling won't be hurt if you pass on coming to NY's outer boros!
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i won't even bother asking if you're going to make it all the way out to the Sunshine State, but if you do i'll buy ya both a beer if you'll bring some NZ coins for my daughter's collection
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All right you slowpokes....it has NEVER taken me more than six hours to drive down to Manhattan; and I've been several times. Mind you, inselpeter is right, Québecers do tend to drive a teensy bit fast  . bel(Andretti)Marduk
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Dear belM, Please let me know when you are on the road, especially if you travel through NH!  wow
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OK, now -- When you want to know something, go to them what knows : Called my American Automobile Association (AAA) and got this answer:
"The mileage between Montreal and Hampton, NH, is 321 miles and it will take approximately 5.8 hours to travel going 55 mph. We just thought you would like to know that on our internet site (www.aaanne.com) you are able to look
up mileage. It is a relatively new option."
So off I went to that site and when I asked it said :
"Mileage from Montreal, PQ to New York City, NY:366 miles
(589 km.)"
Just 45 miles difference! I give up! {cross eyed emoticon}
Madness!
wow
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Dead belM
my GOODNESS, was that freudian or intentional???
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Dead belMHeyyyyy!  Don't be doin' any of that hoodoo voodoo stuff on me there wow. Undo that hex right now!! 
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dead belM
Well, Sweetie, at least we know you aren't dead! Oh, I needed a good laugh! Oh my goodness, wow, that's one for the books! If she spake truly, bel, I guess I'll have to join you--I've been known to cover nearly 200 miles in 2½ hours. I LOVE to drive fast, and one of my dreams is to get out on the salt flats in a vehicle that can take the speed. What I'm driving now won't--I kind of pushed it too hard once, trying to get from my beloved friend's memorial service to my daughter's competition. The Check Engine light came on, and ever since then I get a valve rattle when I go above 75 mph. Phooey.
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I just love this Board, I really do. Mass invitations to visit transmogrified into the girls trying to prove who the biggest hoon on the road is! Thanks ladies, it reconfirms my faith in the total inability of the Board to have a thread start in one place, travel steadily through it and end at the logical conclusion. And, from the sound of it, at a reasonable speed... I also have to say that I'm overwhelmed at the number of you who believe that meeting me in the flesh will somehow enrich your existences. Thank you one and all, and we'll do our best to do your invitations some justice. We are both very gratified. And while I don't want a dead BelM, I'd live with a dead BelAire! (Just dragging the conversation back to Chevvies) David
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Jackie-- go to a racing school! I am planning a weekend in the early summer at Limerock CT-- where there is a car racing school. You get to race in their cars-- and you are also trained on how to steer out of skid-- most places have a skid pad-- a patch of road that is so slippy you are forced into a skid-- and the area is surround by bales of hay-- to make for an "easy crash zone". But because you do learn how to handle skids-- the race driving schools actually qualify you for a discount on your auto insurance!
Limerock CT is not convenient to Kentucky-- but i bet there is an other school offering the same type course-- Auto companies have offered them for years in the Detroit area-- and surprizingly, women are usually more interested in them then men (theory is most men are firmly convinced that they are good lover and good drivers and don't have to go to no stinkin' school to learn anything about doing either!)
I speed too, and i figure i should go to school and learn how to do it right! and if i get an insurance discount to do so, well all the better!
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Dear, dear, *dear* BelM, No hex intended ... but I went back and edited it out ... so others will now be totally bumfoozeled if they try to figure out this exchange. I think it was brain slippage because I was thinking that "Speed Kills" and I was worried that something might happen to you. Then I wrote the ing post about your coming thru NH -- the "joke" implied being I'd stay off the road on those days. So if there was any hoodoo voodoo it was a *Protective* one for you when you are on the road. As a reporter I went to a lot of accident scenes -- most the result of excess speed -- and it has made me a more careful driver. I drive a Saab and keep speeds to a max of 70 when passing on Interstates with a 65 mph speed limit. Here's a hint for all of you on US Interstates around New England: you will be ticketed if your speed exceeds 71 mph. My source is excellent! And in NH, the police used fixed wing aircraft to monitor highways ... not helicopters! Happy and safe travellin', wow
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Vermont's a little more free-wheeling, but watch yourself within 5 or 10 miles of White River and don't say I ever told you to drive faster than 65
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the police used fixed wing aircraft There was a story that made me chuckle recently on the BBC. A sargeant and a constable were pointing a speed-gun (radar) up the hill on a long stright road on the Scottish borders. Suddenly, as a car came over the brow of the hill the radar started going mad - "Christ, Sarge, it's clocking two hundred....!" The recorded speed shot up and up to over 360, then the machine had the electronic equivalent of a massive heart attack as a plane roared overhead. When making enquiries later, the police contacted the local RAF base, from which NATO craft were on maneouvres. Yes, said a frosty voice, they could help unscramble the radar gun, but they wern't going to: "You locked onto one of our planes, and were only seconds away from an automated air-to-ground missile response. Go away and play with your toy somewhere else!"
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Plane rushing past
Going too fast
Missile in the sky
Kiss ass goodbye
BURMA SHAVE
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clap, clap, clap, clap, bravo....way to tie everything together there Mav.
See CapK we were actually on the same topic all along.
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< brow of the hill>>
Anyone say that on this side of the pond?
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Not me-- I would say crest.
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For "brow of hill" which I have often heard, my dictionary gives:
4 the projecting top edge of a steep hill or cliff
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Top of the hill is the only way I ever heard it.
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Where's tsuwm, today? We should ask a highbrow.
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Where's tsuwm, today? We should ask a highbrow.
This low brow (not to be confused with Löwenbrau), would use "top" most often, but has used "brow" and could do so without artifice. I don't think I have ever used, or would ever use, "crest".
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Except when brushing your teeth I imagine
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Except when brushing your teeth I imagine Not a brand that I have ever seen. I know what it is, thanks to US cultural/commercial hegemony, but to the best of my knowledge, Crest toothpaste is not sold in NZ.
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CapK enthuses: I just love this Board, I really do. Mass invitations to visit transmogrified into the girls * trying to prove who the biggest hoon on the road is!
Glad I didn't participate beyond the initial invite - since I'm not a "girl." And what is a "hoon"?
[the-ol'-hands-on-hips e]
---
* should that be girls' ?
[evil-grin e]
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To INSELPETER & MAX >Where's tsuwm .. should ask highbrow<
If you asked Winnie-the-Poohbah I , he might refer you to a recent WWFTD - "Mezzo-brow" (q.v.)-, although, in my judgement, an upper-mezzo-brow should suffice for your purposes. Perhaps this matter has crested and we should return to the earlier thread-theme, whatever it was.
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Anna Strova/Kournikova (or Catastrophic, but I repeat myself) asked: And what is a "hoon"?Well, finally, a word which appears to be Zild slang and Zild slang only. A hoon, my friends, is someone who does things with no thought for the consequences of his/her actions on those around them. To "hoon around" is to act as if you own wherever you are (and not much care what happens to where you are, either). Then you have "drunken hoons" which are hoons cubed. It's not in the COD or in any dictionary referenced by dictionary.com. Yippeeeeeee! and the same non-pareil asked: * should that be girls' ? Not unless they were possessing more than I intended in that sentence! [poignant-smirk-e]
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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I found two references to "Hoon" via onelookup.com. The first is an Indian (Asia) term for a gold coin. The second is in the "Aussie" slang dictionary at http://"www.geocities.com/Heartland/Plains/9740/slang2.html#H" listed as:
Hoon- Loudmouth, to drive recklessly!
I didn't mean to burst the bubble but thought the references to the sources might help others in future.
Rod Ward
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the "Aussie" slang dictionary Uh oh, Rod--if I were you, I'd be digging a hole as fast as I could! This would seem to be the ultimate insult to a New Zealander, from what I've gathered. "His" very own word appropriated by the---er, others. And, for the record: I drive very fast, but NOT recklessly. I judge speeding safety based on road and traffic conditions, the latter including the presence of visible cops. And I am never a loudmouth--I am a Southern lady, born unshocked.
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the "Aussie" slang dictionary
Not my insult, why I put "Aussie" in quotes. Anyway, it's on the web right? It must be true!
Rod Ward
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So am I the only one who crests hills? I often define my house as "being on the crest of the hill"-- You drive up my block (the hill is steep enough, that you down shift to 2nd or 3rd to get the car up) and just as you come to the top, where the hill levels off-- the crest--Why there is my house!
I have heard brow of the hill-- and understood the meaning immediately, but would not use that expression-- any more than i would keeps stuff in the "boot" of the car, or have stuff delivered by a "lorry" -- i don't know if brow is "english" --so much as it is just not common in NY-- (America?)
I wouldn't use crest for a small rise-- NE roads all have crowns-- not crests-- they are definately Humped so that snow melt runs off to the side of the road.
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brow vs. crest of a hill
Helen dear, I''m not sure you do understand "brow" -- in the definition given in earlier posting, it refers to a projection. The brow of a hill is slightly below the crest, which is the top indeed. When you're at the brow of a hill, you are under the projecting part and below the crest.
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Thank you, oh Upper-case One of the North Island. Learning "hoon" was a boon! (now I just gotta figure out some way to drop it into a conversation...)
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Ro d- who? wrote: I found two references to "Hoon" via onelookup.com. The first is an Indian (Asia) term for a gold coin. The second is in the "Aussie" slang dictionary at http://"www.geocities.com/Heartland/Plains/9740/slang2.html#H" listed as:
Hoon- Loudmouth, to drive recklessly!
I didn't mean to burst the bubble but thought the references to the sources might help others in future.No, not much you didn't. Typical - the Ozzies pinch it (as they do everything which isn't nailed down) and then only half define it and then others perpetuate the myth. Instead of posting, I'm going to go postal, I can tell ... is dropping copies of Webster's on people's heads a crime in the US/UK? Then Jackie, in a fit of faustian self-justification, uttered: And, for the record: I drive very fast, but NOT recklessly.
I judge speeding safety based on road and traffic conditions, the latter including the presence of visible cops.Yeah, yeah, that's what they allus say. Hoons tend to be great at self-justification for their actions ... Ironic
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Hoons tend to be great at self-justification for their actions ...So who did pack the 'chute?
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Dunno, but I got that handkerchief! And your head is a really funny shape. Have you seen a doctor for it?
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Rod, you can't say I didn't warn you: I didn't mean to burst the bubble but thought the references to the sources might help others in future.
No, not much you didn't. Typical - the Ozzies pinch it (as they do everything which isn't nailed down) and then only half define it and then others perpetuate the myth. Instead of posting, I'm going to go postal, I can tell ... is dropping copies of Webster's on people's heads a crime in the US/UK?
And, C.K., as to my self-justification--it is entirely
justified! [so there emoticon](Watch it, Bub, or I'll call you an a-er, as in jafa...)
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jafa...
Hmmm, a Ex-Dunedinite Wellingtonian jafa. Jafa the Hutt, perhaps, CK?
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Jafa the Hutt, perhaps, CK?Oh, Max, that's great! Glad to have company in front of the firing squad.
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Oh, Max, that's great!
Glad to have company in front of the firing squad.
I'm glad you liked it. Surprised, and very impressed, as it was a reference to Wellington geography, but glad.
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Yeah, OK - public apology to CK. Hoon is a great word and thank you for sharing it with us. It has absolutely the right kind of sound to express the intended contempt. I promise to use it each day this week, and when anyone asks me, I will tell them it is ZILD!
And Jackie, warning me after the event is no use. Warn me beforehand next time, please.
In my defence your honour, I thought that references to resources such as http://www.yourdictionary.com/ and http://www.onelook.com/ might be useful to those who didn't know of them.
I always drive at the posted speed limit (of course that's often 70mph here in UK, plus VAT (US=sales tax), plus tip.
Oh and that's per occupant of course!
Off subject: does NZ have the equivalent of sales tax or Value Added Tax? I know a certain small island somewhere to the West of NZ changed last year to a type of VAT.
Rod Ward
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Is it true that the Pope's phone number is VAT69 ?
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: does NZ have the equivalent of sales tax or Value Added Tax? I know a certain small island somewhere to the West of NZ changed last year to a type of VAT.NZ has had a universal Goods and Services Tax since around 1985. Australia's bizarrely complicated version has caused much amusement on this side of the Tasman. The only way the Oz GST could get passed was by making all sorts of exemptions. A friend of mine who was working in an accountants' office in Queensland was told to brush up her NZ accent prior to the introduction of GST, as they planned to advertise that they had on their staff a NZer with 15 years experience of GST. (She was about 5 when it was introduced here)
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RIGHT YOU LOT! I'm away for two - count 'em - (2) days, and you guys are fighting over the carcass! Reminds me of the old joke about the two vultures on a branch looking v-e-r-r-r-r-y hungry, with one saying to the other "Patience, my ass, I'm gunna kill something!"
For those of you poor benighted ayleurs out there who lack awareness of what's been going on, "Hutt" is a reference to the city I live in (Lower Hutt). It's about nine miles from Wellington (which is where I work). "Jafa" is an acronym for "Just Another F***ing Aucklander". Auckland is where I've been. It has a population of just over 1 million, and they promise faithfully that they'll either have electricity next time I'm there or the whole place will have been blown off the face of the earth by the volcanic activity which the geologists and vulcanologists have been promising. You can tell I like the place.
And Oz's GST system looks amazingly like the VAT system. And will generate thousands of jobs as the Government struggles to make it work.
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Is it as archane as NY Sales tax?
In NY Food is not taxable-- unless it is prepared food, ready to eat immediatley-- and cost more than $1.
So a $1 hot dog can (and should) be taxed-- but a frozen TV dinner-- any price no tax. but a ready cooked BBQ chicken at the deli counter -- Taxed! but slice meat at the deli counter? not taxed (since it is presumed that the meat will be put into sandwiches-- so its food, but not in a ready to eat form (even though you could just eat a slice of cheese or salami!)
More interesting is Candy is taxed (not food) but peanuts and raisens-- not taxed-- food items
so chocolate covered peanuts (goobers) and chocolate covered raisens (raisenettes?)
Chocolate covered peanuts are taxed as candy, but chocolate covered raisens are not! (why? who knows!)
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NZ's system is a universal Goods & Service Tax of 12.5% on all goods and services, except for stuff sold at garage (yard) sales, and a few other minor exmptions, including charities. Australia's system focuses on whether items can be considered staple or not, and is unbelievably labrynthine. The same item, for example, chicken, can change its taxable status several times in a day, depending on how it is being presented for sale.
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Max is quite correct in what he says, but he omitted what is probably one of the most controversial issues: Financial services are not subject to GST. Therefore house sales are not GST-liable, interest on loans is exempted, earnings on investments, that kind of thing. This was, and still is, a bone of contention. But it's internally consistent and doesn't produce downstream anomalies, so the Government has left it alone. Until now. I hear a parliamentary methane-production group (or select committee) will be looking at this soon. 
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Financial services are not subject to GST. Therefore house sales are not GST-liable, interest on loans is exempted, earnings on investments, that kind of thing. This was, and still is, a bone of contention.Quick, children, hide - it's the ghost of Bruce Beetham!  http://homepages.paradise.net.nz/maxq/Jo's_Hints.htm
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Quick, children, hide - it's the ghost of Bruce Beetham!Or the clanking chains of Jeremy Bentham!
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>They found the remains of what had "been her".
Ah, yes, Wallac's book about the first sex change operation!
I'm BACK! Dont know how long, but feel well enough to punch a few keys.
TEd
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>Given that all of these are safety plugs, I wonder if Burma paid a nick-el (ugh) for placing them along the median. -- By the way, if the roads were three-laned, where *was* the median?
Burma shave signs were always just off the right shoulder of the road. As you guessed, there was no median. The middle lane was a passing lane, which could be used by cars going in either direction. NOT for the faint of heart, but some still exist in the southern parts of the US. Pretty rural now, but formerly truck routes.
TEd
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>And across the North River from us, 9W,
Nay, 9W was a game Johnny Carson used to play, in which he would give the answer and the contestant had to come up with a question, sort of like Jeopardy. The name derives from the question, "Herr Vagner, do you spell your name with a V?"
One of my favorites was:
Shogun: How do you get fast service in a bank.
TEd
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and weren't the 9Ws banned from Johnny Carson after the one where the answer was (euphemistically phrased to avoid the gutter police) the red breasted male bird. You know the one that was killed by a bow and arrow. And the question had something to do with Batman? It may be an urban legend but I heard that that one slipped by the live censor who has 8 seconds or so to bleep a live obscenity.
Rod
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The middle lane was a passing lane
I remember some that didn't even have a middle, passing lane. If you've ever noticed truckers blinking lights at each other after passing on the Interstates you may wonder what that's all about. In them days they needed to know when they had passed whatever they were passing so they could get back into their regular lane without taking out half a dozen cars. They can't tell easily when they have passed with their long trailers so the passed truck will signal the passing truck when it's safe to cut back in. Some four wheelers will even do it.
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Ted, 9W might well have been a game--but it is road- In NY and NJ that runs parallel to the North (Hudson) river.
For a while, Routes 1N (part of the old Post road system) and 9W run together. In the NY side of the river, 9 is Broadway (starting at about Columbus Circle) and running north to Montreal. It too is an old road --
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Hoon is a great word and thank you for sharing it with us. It has absolutely the right kind of sound to express the intended contempt. I promise to use it each day this week, and when anyone asks me, I will tell them it is ZILD!Umm... did I miss CapK's evidence that this was a ZILD word first and foremost? Don't ask me, I'm just an innocent (?! ) [POM] abroad, but I'd say on the evidence at the moment the national origin of this word remains unproven. Is CapK more reliable than an internet dictionary? Is that an insult or a compliment? Just asking... [running-off-to-hide-from-the-trans-Tasman-flak-emoticon]
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Umm... did I miss CapK's evidence that this was a ZILD word first and foremost? Don't ask me, I'm just an innocent (?!) [POM] abroad, but I'd say on the evidence at the moment the national origin of this word remains unproven.
Is CapK more reliable than an internet dictionary?
Is that an insult or a compliment?
Just asking... [running-off-to-hide-from-the-trans-Tasman-flak-emoticon]And there I was just a few hundred miles south of you all last week! No, the claim was made on the basis that Google didn't turn up any evidence of origin or usage, so I stated that it might be a Zildism. I now have renewed first-hand evidence that the Ozzies are much better hoons than we are ...
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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The real question is, what is it about the West Island that makes even transplanted poms living there reluctant to concede the possibility that any word used on both sides of the Tasman originated here?
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NZ's system is a universal Goods & Service Tax of 12.5% on all goods and services ... Australia's system ....is unbelievably labrynthine
Hot off the press:
Gov. Jean Shaheen's proposal to institute a sales tax in New Hampshire was defeated by vote of the Legislature today.
New Hampshire is currently the only state in the Union which has neither a sales or income tax.
Come to God's country, you poor benighted souls!
We hold the lamp beside the tax free door!
wow
What whinger mentioned NH property tax ? Speak up! I want to know right now.
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NZ's system is a universal Goods & Service Tax of 12.5% on all goods and services ... Australia's system ....is unbelievably labrynthineJust how labyrinthine was demonstrated amply at Malbun airport the other day. We bought two boxes of chocolates (total price A$27.50). The sales assistant, sweet girl, asked us if we wanted to claim the GST back since we were leaving the country. SWMBO - an accountant, remember - agreed that it would be a good idea. I suspiciously commented that we shouldn't bother if it was going to take some effort. I've done this in Singapore. We were talking about A$2.75's worth of GST, remember. The girl said brightly that it was no bother at all. Okay, so here was the process: 1. She produced a foolscap form which had dunnamany blocks to fill in. She had to write down SWMBO's name and passport number. A detailed description of the goods and the pre-GST and GST-inclusive price followed. SWMBO then had to fill in her address in New Zealand and the date of departure from Oz. 2. Sales girl then had to sight and write down the number of SWMBO's air ticket, the flight number, the destination and the time of departure. Not from the boarding pass, but the ticket itself. This caused a rapid rummage through a shoulder bag. 3. Sales lady and SWMBO then both had to sign the form. 4. Sales person then filled out yet another form, kinda the opposite of a GST invoice. An un-GST invoice, presumably. 5. The goods then went into a special plastic bag that had "GST Exempt - keep in sight at all times" plastered all over it. A copy of the un-GST invoice went in with the chocolates. 6. Another copy of the un-GST invoice was then sealed (stapled) into a small plastic bag which was then stapled to the larger plastic bag. Groovy, huh? A simple process. Oh, and there was a (7). On our way down the jetway to the plane, a woman grabbed the big plastic bag from SWMBO and tore off the smaller plastic bag with the un-GST invoice in it. That appeared to be her entire job. I didn't say a word through any of this. One knows when to keep one's mouth firmly shut after 17 years ... New Hampshire is currently the only state in the Union which has neither a sales or income tax.Sponging off neighbouring states, eh, Wow? That's the ticket!
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Oh, but these states aren't that united.
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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New Hampshire is currently the only state in the Union which has neither a sales or income tax.
Sponging off neighbouring states, eh, Wow? That's the ticket!
Just a gol'dern minute there!
We do it the right way : soak the property owners and tax the Booze & cigarettes.
We call 'em Sintaxes!
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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<<apropos nothing but new hampshire>>
Wow, do you remember this case from many years back? A New Hampshire man was convicted for removing the state motto from his license plates and he challenged the law before the US Supreme Court. The NH state motto, for those who don't know, is "Live free or die."
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Just a gol'dern minute there!
We do it the right way : soak the property owners and tax the Booze & cigarettes.
We call 'em Sintaxes!What rate do you pay for property taxes? ours is, i believe, 1% of assessed property value each year. we also have the Sintaxes on cigarettes, though i'm not sure if alcohol is taxed; i've never checked. between state and federal taxes in CA, we give up about 50% of each paycheck. in my next life i'm going to live in NH
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Dear IP: I remember the case, but don't remember how he made out. There is such a thing as appropriate civil disobedience, but he was a jerk. I'm sure New Hampshire has a law forbidding altering licence plates in any way or even covering up part of them. If he wanted to campaign to have the State change the plates, fine. If his arrogance got him a bruise, I have no sympathy for him.
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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<<I remember the case, but don't remember how he made out.>>
He won.
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Joined: Jan 2001
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Dear IP: what did he win except the publicity he wanted?
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addict
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The real question is, what is it about the West Island that makes even transplanted poms living there reluctant to concede the possibility that any word used on both sides of the Tasman originated here? Max, you misjudge me! Transplanted Poms (based on my highly statistically viable sample of three) just like stirring things. Especially as my boss is a transplanted Kiwi married to a transplanted Pom... And of course I was really just asking in the interests of the TRUTH. (Nah, didn't think you'd believe that one!)
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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And of course I was really just asking in the interests of the TRUTH. You want the truth? You can't ... no, wait, someone's already done that line. The truth is that trans-Tasman stirring is waaaay too much fun to stop.
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Especially as my boss is a transplanted Kiwi married to a transplanted Pom...Hmmmm.... West Island clearly rocks without the West Islanders being directly involved!
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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A New Hampshire man was convicted for removing the state motto from his license plates
I remember the incident but not complete story. However, NH now has a choice of plates but you have to apply ahead for specialized plates like POW and Purple Heart and Vet (for those you need proof of eligibility) and others with a Loon or Old Man of Mountain on it. We do have vanity plates, too which cost extra and must be specially ordered. Income generated by vanity plates go to Fish and Game Dept.
Regular plates just white with green letters/numbers and the state motto.
Will try to check it out and get back to you.
wow
EDIT : Ooopps ... already answered (Thanks IP) saving me the hassle! Guess his win is why we now have the choices!
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West Island clearly rocks without the West Islanders being directly involvedSomebody has to live here! (I suppose...)
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