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#200918 - 07/02/11 01:16 PM getting closer [Re: Candy]  
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wofahulicodoc Offline
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The farmer was looking into the sky
As he fed beans to his pigs in the sty
And when all the gases
Escaped from there asses
He thought, if I light-up now, those pigs will fly

And Candy, I like your last line change but now there are too many breaks in the rhythm.

Can we bring it back into line:

A farmer looked into the sky
And fed beans to his pigs in the sty.
He said, as the gases
Escaped from their asses,
"If I light up now, pigs will fly!"

#200922 - 07/02/11 07:40 PM Re: It isn't easy writing doggerel ! [Re: wofahulicodoc]  
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Tromboniator Offline
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Originally Posted By: wofahulicodoc

To keep the original post short I didn't list all possibe exceptions.


Sorry, I suppose I do tend to be a little windy. Speaking of gasses.

#200929 - 07/03/11 03:09 AM Re: Resident Troublemaker checking in [Re: Tromboniator]  
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Avy Offline
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Avy  Offline
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Originally Posted By: Tromboniator
Originally Posted By: Avy
This wofa is too exacting.

No, he's not. If the rhythm is wrong it ain't a limerick.

Yeah correct. I am just faux grumbling. I enjoyed the work oout
Originally Posted By: Tromboniator
Originally Posted By: Avy
I am thinking of resigning from this job.

Don't you dare!

smile it is tough to resign from obsession.

#200935 - 07/03/11 09:40 AM Re: getting closer [Re: wofahulicodoc]  
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Candy Offline
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down under
Originally Posted By: wofahulicodoc

And Candy, I like your last line change but now there are too many breaks in the rhythm.



I knew you would fix it Wofa smirk

now come back to our other game......

#200951 - 07/03/11 05:51 PM Re: getting closer [Re: Candy]  
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wofahulicodoc Offline
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Did you know that Gilbert & Sullivan wrote limericks? They didn't call them that, of course, but limericks they are, all the same.

Here's a song from Ruddigore, Act I ("If you wish in this world to advance"), and here are the complete lyrics if you want to mouse over them. (Notice the liberties Gilbert takes with the rhyme scheme. Never with the rhythm, though. Besides, the music wouldn't permit it.)

SONG--ROBIN:

My boy, you may take it from me,
That of all the afflictions accurst
With which a man's saddled
And hampered and addled,
A diffident nature's the worst.

Though clever as clever can be--
A Crichton of early romance--
You must stir it and stump it,
And blow your own trumpet,
Or, trust me, you haven't a chance!

Chorus: If you wish in the world to advance,
Your merits you're bound to enhance,
You must stir it and stump it,
And blow your own trumpet,
Or, trust me, you haven't a chance!

Now take, for example, my case:
I've a bright intellectual brain--
In all London city
There's no one so witty--
I've thought so again and again.

I've a highly intelligent face--
My features cannot be denied--
But, whatever I try, sir,
I fail in--and why, sir?
I'm modesty personified!

If you wish in the world to advance, etc.

As a poet, I'm tender and quaint--
I've passion and fervour and grace--
From Ovid and Horace
To Swinburne and Morris,
They all of them take a back place.

Then I sing and I play and I paint:
Though none are accomplished as I,
To say so were treason:
You ask me the reason?
I'm diffident, modest, and shy!

If you wish in the world to advance, etc.


(Exit Robin.)

#200956 - 07/04/11 12:54 AM Re: getting closer [Re: wofahulicodoc]  
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Interesting, thanks much.


----please, draw me a sheep----
#200957 - 07/04/11 11:38 AM Re: getting closer [Re: LukeJavan8]  
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Candy Offline
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Thanks Wofa, I enjoyed that and I marvel at the performance in the video. Not an easy musical to perform, I bet.

#200960 - 07/04/11 03:07 PM I once was as meek as a newborn lamb [Re: Candy]  
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wofahulicodoc Offline
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It doesn't have to be staged as cimematically as that; an amateur group can present it quite adequately. The music is sweeping, and some of the patter parodies itself. ("This particularly rapid unintelligible patter isn't generally heard, and if it is, it doesn't matter...") And Mad Margaret's character can stop the show!

(Basingstoke, my dear.)

#201021 - 07/07/11 05:44 AM Trouble is brewing… [Re: Avy]  
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Tromboniator Offline
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My efforts to write are a dud.
The rhythm has me sweating blood.
I can come up with rhymes
That work two or three times,
But the meter's like swilling warm Bud.

#201078 - 07/09/11 02:01 AM Sparteye's Game redux [Re: Tromboniator]  
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wofahulicodoc Offline
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I read all these lim'riks we've written
And confess that I'm thoroughly smitten.
But the game that was Sparteye's
Had more, and me hearties,
Those FIRST and LAST words we're omittin' !


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