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Previous Thread Next Thread Print Thread Page 50 of 126 1 2 … 48 49 50 51 52 … 125 126 Go to page... Re: a limerick [Re: Avy] #200882 07/01/11 01:30 AM 07/01/11 01:30 AM Joined: May 2010 Posts: 959 Alaska Tromboniator old hand Tromboniator   old hand Joined: May 2010 Posts: 959 Alaska Too busy? No ideas? Not my turn? Re: a limerick [Re: Jackie] #200883 07/01/11 01:41 AM 07/01/11 01:41 AM Joined: Jun 2000 Posts: 724 Avy old hand Avy   old hand Joined: Jun 2000 Posts: 724 How long does it take to do one sentence? IT IS ALREADY THERE! Phew. The wait is too nerve racking. Maybe I shouldn't play. Somebody prove me wrong with a counterexample... [Re: Avy] #200884 07/01/11 01:57 AM 07/01/11 01:57 AM Joined: Aug 2001 Posts: 7,970 Worcester, MA W wofahulicodoc Carpal Tunnel wofahulicodoc   Carpal Tunnel W Joined: Aug 2001 Posts: 7,970 Worcester, MA Originally Posted By: Avy Why has no one completed the rhyme? No imagination, that's why. Consider, for example: There once was a man from Nantucket Who would do anything for a ducat. ... He put lead in a mold ... Which he turned into gold Because of the lightning that struck it. It's grey, that's what it is. But not funny. And it scans, and it rhymes, and who cares? No cleverness, no double meanings, no unexpected wordplay, nothing interesting in structure or content, nothing ribald even, goes over like your proverbial gold balloon (once it's been struck by lightning, anyway). Maybe this isn't the best medium for a limerick; one-line-at-a-time makes it very hard to set up a punchline that pervades the whole oeuvre. [/whinge] Thoughts, anybody? Or maybe let's just try again, see what happens, and figure out the difference: 1) A parachute fell from the sky. (Here's a thought: this invites/permits don't know why, walk on by, pigs may fly, much too high, cast a die, fish to fry, what a guy, wouldn't lie, me oh my, etc. How many things rhyme with bucket, anyway?) Re: Somebody prove me wrong with a counterexample... [Re: wofahulicodoc] #200885 07/01/11 02:16 AM 07/01/11 02:16 AM Joined: Jun 2000 Posts: 724 Avy old hand Avy   old hand Joined: Jun 2000 Posts: 724 >He put lead into mold I like it. I never thought of this line and was happy with what you got. Yes there is no fun in the final product. There can't be. I am intrigued by your change in the game. What you are doing is a kind of choice to the next player. The skill lies in not writing the line but choosing the choices. This way the first player has most control over the rhyme. (We might get a good rhyme out of this. Let's check) Tried and failed do it. How can we give choices to the b rhyme. The whole dictionary is a choice. Anyway here goes: A parachute fell from the sky. xxxxxxxxxxxa xxxxxxb xxxxxxb Proving indeed that pigs can fly. Re: Somebody prove me wrong with a counterexample... [Re: Avy] #200887 07/01/11 02:24 AM 07/01/11 02:24 AM Joined: Jun 2008 Posts: 9,159 Land of the Flat Water LukeJavan8 Carpal Tunnel LukeJavan8   Carpal Tunnel Joined: Jun 2008 Posts: 9,159 Land of the Flat Water Whew! You guys are at it. ----please, draw me a sheep---- Re: Somebody prove me wrong with a counterexample... [Re: wofahulicodoc] #200888 07/01/11 02:27 AM 07/01/11 02:27 AM Joined: Jun 2000 Posts: 724 Avy old hand Avy   old hand Joined: Jun 2000 Posts: 724 Wofa-s, the last rhyme's quality might have been affected by the fact that you and Trom double posted. I think each line has to emerge from the other. This attempt maybe better. Re: Somebody prove me wrong with a counterexample... [Re: Avy] #200889 07/01/11 08:09 AM 07/01/11 08:09 AM Joined: May 2010 Posts: 959 Alaska Tromboniator old hand Tromboniator   old hand Joined: May 2010 Posts: 959 Alaska A parachute fell from the sky. Underneath it a sixty-ton sty. xxxxxxb xxxxxxb Proving indeed that pigs can fly. I'm not sure it works to do the lines out of sequence. Or the person who starts could specify which position that initial line should occupy. Edit: I suppose in some cases it would be obvious! Last edited by Tromboniator; 07/01/11 08:12 AM. Re: Somebody prove me wrong with a counterexample... [Re: Tromboniator] #200890 07/01/11 01:39 PM 07/01/11 01:39 PM Joined: Sep 2010 Posts: 1,706 down under Candy Pooh-Bah Candy   Pooh-Bah Joined: Sep 2010 Posts: 1,706 down under Hows this looking? A parachute fell from the sky. Underneath it a sixty-ton sty. Baked Beans they had eaten was producing gas Which exploded like gunfire from the swines ass Proving indeed that pigs can fly. It isn't easy writing doggerel ! [Re: Candy] #200895 07/01/11 03:13 PM 07/01/11 03:13 PM Joined: Aug 2001 Posts: 7,970 Worcester, MA W wofahulicodoc Carpal Tunnel wofahulicodoc   Carpal Tunnel W Joined: Aug 2001 Posts: 7,970 Worcester, MA First we need to agree that, although it's not the only form of poetry, a Limerick has five lines, and they read "da BOM ba da BOM ba da A ba da BOM ba da BOM ba da A ba da BOM ba da B ba da BOM ba da B ba da BOM ba da BOM ba da A" The first syllable of each line may be present or not, as long as the BOM is in the right place. Like it or not that we have to follow Roolz, that's what a Limerick is. Back to the Limerick Workshop: Quote: A parachute fell from the sky. Underneath it a sixty-ton sty. Baked Beans they had eaten was producing gas Which exploded like gunfire from the swines ass Proving indeed that pigs can fly. OK, that works for rhyme scheme, -a, -a, -b, -b, -a. But it needs to conform to the rhythm scheme, and we're not there yet. S'pose we change line 2 like this: A parachute fell from the sky. Below was a sixty-pig sty. Baked Beans they had eaten was producing gas Which exploded like gunfire from the swines ass Proving indeed that pigs can fly. Next challenge: shorten lines 3 and 4 to six syllables. And looking ahead - we're going to want to introduce some sparkle somewhere. Otherwise it's just another juvenile Beavis-and-Butthead bathroom joke, exactly as humorous as "Ooh, ooh, he said fart! He said fart!") Re: It isn't easy writing doggerel ! [Re: wofahulicodoc] #200896 07/01/11 03:53 PM 07/01/11 03:53 PM Joined: Jun 2008 Posts: 9,159 Land of the Flat Water LukeJavan8 Carpal Tunnel LukeJavan8   Carpal Tunnel Joined: Jun 2008 Posts: 9,159 Land of the Flat Water Oh you guys! ----please, draw me a sheep---- Page 50 of 126 1 2 … 48 49 50 51 52 … 125 126 Go to page... 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