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#169977 - 09/13/07 03:53 AM
Re: The bird man of Midway Islands
[Re: olly]
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Joined: May 2002
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themilum
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Aladamnbama the most watered s...
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Fine poem, olly, and a deep bow to your splendid sister Ana too. Butasforyou, AnnaStrophic, let me tell you a story... I love wordwebs as I love spiderwebs; both can be works of art. But sometimes a weave of words like a weave of spiderwebs can have an ulterior design that ultimately bites, so as a lover of the two artforms I have learned to be careful. But asforme, I hate "nonce" art and have come to use a certain technique that freezes the beauty of spiderwebs beyond their season, as follows... Armed with a can of spray paint and a 12" square of ceramic floor tile I creep through brush and wood until I find a perfect spiderweb glistening glossily in the weak morning sun. Then carefully. slowly, I sneak up on the web and, in a sudden, I spray the web with spray paint. This usually makes the bitch spider mad (like female dogs female spiders are called bitches) and so she usuallly drops down on an excape line to avoid being sprayed. Now I must hurry. Quickly, but gently, I press the ceramic tile against the paint-wet web and nip the guide lines that support the web face in space. Then quickly I snip the excape line to keep the bitch from climbing back up to the web. This is important because she will maliciously rip up her own labourously constructed web just for spite if she can. After all, the only reason she built her beautiful web was to bite somebody or something (some beautifully crafted wordwebs are set in the same manner). Then, with luck, I will end up with a one-of-kind spacial painting in three dimension and in fix forever on a ceramic tile that I can display and impress my crafty, artsy, slow witted friends. 
Last edited by themilum; 09/13/07 04:46 AM.
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#170010 - 09/15/07 02:41 AM
Re: The bird man of Midway Islands
[Re: Zed]
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Aladamnbama the most watered s...
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Better make that three, Zed. My pal Tim King (the bug king) is the master. He began by handbrush painting spiderwebs which he stuck on the backs of NO TRESSPASSING signs back in 1973. What a guy! Tim owns a pest extermination company and is well respected in bug circles. He lives in a log cabin without electricity and is a part time nudist. Tim has discovered several new species of cave beetles and has one of the largest private collections in the south. Interesting fact: In beetles differentiation of species is determined by the shape of the male penis. In copulation the male drills directly through the female's tough outer shell (shells vary from species to species in construction and thickness) and so in response to this added difficulty the male penis has become intricately specialized to the point of being species specific. Some folks think Tim strange because they say he wears a gun when he hunts beetles in caves. He doesn't. He always leaves it at the entrance.
Last edited by themilum; 09/15/07 02:53 PM.
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#170051 - 09/18/07 02:06 AM
Re: The bird man of Midway Islands
[Re: AnnaStrophic]
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Aladamnbama the most watered s...
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Ok AnnaStrophic, you can stop tapping now, my story is getting long and I'm tired of writing about me and EO Wilson so I'm gonna stop now and have two tall dixie cups of bourbon and bitters and chocolate milk and then go nighty-night.
If I come home sober tomorrow night after a fossil gathering trip with pal Andy I'll write the ending then.
You don't want a sloppy, drunken, slurred, ending do you?
Last edited by themilum; 09/18/07 02:08 AM.
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#170091 - 09/19/07 07:41 PM
Re: The bird man of Midway Islands
[Re: Zed]
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Aladamnbama the most watered s...
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Bourbon, bitters and chocolate milk? Yes Zed, bitters tone down the sweeetness of the choclate milk. Normally I don't add bitters, I just use a cheap gut-rot whiskey with a harsh bite. but unfortunatly Monday night I found myself out of good whiskey and had to use the expensive stuff instead, so I mixed in a dash of bitters for bite. Pretty good, pretty good. 
Last edited by themilum; 09/19/07 07:44 PM.
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