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#16832 - 02/12/01 06:11 PM Re: More shaggy dogs  
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maverick Offline
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super calloused fragile mystic

Hah! Thanks, Hyla - with that, you made this thread almost worthwhile!


#16833 - 02/12/01 10:00 PM Re: More Hirsute canids  
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Geoff Offline
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Geoff  Offline
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Portland,Oregon, USA
Does anoyne recall the nameless fellow who took over for Quasimodo after his death? He had no arms, so the priest at Notre Dame didn't think he could do the job. They gave him a try, however, and he did marvellously - striking the bells with his face!

After many years of faithful service, the unfortunate man with no name and no arms slipped and fell from the belfry, falling to his death. As the crowd gathered around, someone inquired as to his name. Nobody knew, but one fellow said that his face had a fimiliar ring.

After him a beautiful young woman applied for the job. This seemed blasphemous to the priest, but, upon orders from the Cardinal, he allowed her to demonstrate her skills. She exceeded even her famed predecessor. So good was she that the townspeople and the clergy became convinced that she was a sorceress. The priest sent for the inquisitor, and he examined her. Upon finding no demonic affiliations, he declared her gifts to be God-given. He used the words, later stolen by a second-rate Englishman, "Therefore send not to ask for whom the Belle tolls."


#16834 - 02/13/01 12:39 AM Re: More Hirsute canids  
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Dear Geoff,
Obviously, you have joined the right Board ... where else would your talents be so groaningly appreciated.
wow


#16835 - 02/13/01 03:23 AM Variation on Quasimodo theme  
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Marty Offline
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Marty  Offline
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Melbourne, Australia
I heard it something like this:

Does anyone recall the nameless fellow who took over for quasimodo after his death? He had no arms, so the priest at Notre Dame didn't think he could do the job. They gave him a try, however, and he did marvellously - striking the bells with his face!

After many years of faithful service, the unfortunate man with no name and no arms slipped and fell from the belfry, falling to his death. As the crowd gathered around, someone inquired as to his name.
One of the onlookers replied: "I don't know, but his face sure rings a bell."

Desperate for a replacement bell-ringer, the priest asked the dead man's twin brother to take over. He also did a tremendous job, until with remarkable coincidence, he too fell from the belfry. Again a crowd gathered and somebody inquired as to his name. "I don't know," replied the same onlooker, "but he's a dead ringer for his brother."



#16836 - 02/13/01 03:26 AM Re: More Hirsute canids  
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Jackie Offline
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Geoff, I loved your Notre Dame story! :-))
A real bell-ringer. Took a toll on my diaphragm muscles.
The belle rang it so well, let's clapper.

Do you know what the priest said when he got hungry for a
chocolate snack cake? He thought maybe she was, too, so he
asked her, "Would you like a Ding-Dong, belle?"


#16837 - 02/13/01 03:38 AM Re: Variation on Quasimodo theme  
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Geoff Offline
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Geoff  Offline
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Portland,Oregon, USA
"I don't know," replied the same onlooker, "but he's a dead ringer for his brother."

Actually, Marty, that's the version I heard, but I couldn't remember it, so I threw out what I could.
Thanks for chiming in!


#16838 - 02/13/01 03:45 AM Re: More Hirsute canids  
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Geoff Offline
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Geoff  Offline
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Portland,Oregon, USA
Do you know what the priest said when he got hungry for a
chocolate snack cake? He thought maybe she was, too, so he
asked her, "Would you like a Ding-Dong, belle?"

And:
let's clapper.

I heard that the priest was having impure thoughts, and was plying her with sweets, thereafter giving her a disease, so that she died of the clap. I could be wrong, though.


#16839 - 03/08/01 09:22 PM Re: More shaggy dogs  
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A guy in Organic Chem lab took me in completely with a shaggy dog joke. He had mentioned that he had spent the summer in Europe. He said he had been in Budapest, where some friends talked him into going to see a spiritualist who was famous about being able to tell people things about their deceased loved one, even to get messages from them.
Having nothing better to do at the moment, he went by himself. The door of the spiritualist's appartment was very elaborately decorated with mysterious symbols. He could smell incense burning, and weird music in the background. He rang the doorbell, and waited a long time. When the doorbell was not answered, he noticed a very large gong, with a hammer hanging beside it. He picked up the hammer, and because he was annoyed, struck it violently. Almost immediated the door was opened by a very small wizend wizard, who just stood there grinning at him without saying a word.
"So, I smashed him in the mouth as hard as I could!"
I bit. "What in hell did you hit him for?"
"My mother told me always strike a happy medium."


#16840 - 03/12/01 11:06 PM Re: More shaggy dogs  
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The shaggy dog killer am I.


#16841 - 03/13/01 08:47 PM Post deleted by bridget96  

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