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Carpal Tunnel
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Upon hearing someone utter an unintentional, and probably best not worth mentioning, pun, and saying, "No pun intended."

Replying, "None taken."

Well, OK. Maybe "great" is overstating it a little.


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old hand
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I worked (in Oz) with a "good ol' boy" geologist from Tucson some years ago. He had a whole collection of sayings which kept me in fits of laughter, so much so that I wrote them all down and try to use them as often as possible - complete with good ol' boy accent of course!! I presume they weren't his own, but I've not heard them elsewhere. Examples are:

"Well, ain't that just slicker'n cat shit on linoleum!" (or substitute the cat dung reference for "snot on a brass door handle!").

If there was a lot of something, it was "ass-hole deep to an 8 foot Indian".

Finally, and showing my geoscience roots again, LURV the bumper sticker-esque saying I noted at a mineral and fossil dealer's website the other day...."COPROLITES HAPPEN".

Look it up!

stales



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Thanks for your consideration, maverick, it is very much appreciated. However, I'm not quite that sensitive. I woould not like to think my personal mores were intruding others' freedom of expression.


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DAMN I wish was as quick thinking as that! Ted, that was exceptional, at least the equal of any of the other offerings in this thread.


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>DAMN I wish was as quick thinking as that!

Uh, well, among friends, I will make an admission. I had a whole week to come up with that. I will admit, though, that I very carefully chose the timing of the delivery for maximum amusement effect. My pappy taught me that in delivery and sex timing is everything. Pappy was a wise man.



TEd
#16215 01/23/01 09:40 PM
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Water? I never touch the stuff - fish f*ck in it
Mav, that should have been the least of his worries.

Given the initials W.C., you'd have expected him to suss that one.


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I want to die in my sleep, like my grandpa; not yelling and screaming like his passengers.

Likewise, love that one bel
I'd heard it with a "peacefully" just after "die" which adds a certain hmmm, I don't know, je ne sais quoi I suppose.


P.S. The "you are drunk sir, very drunk" I'd heard attributed to Lady Astor (rather than Bessie wotsit) and Churchill.





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Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

Here's a variant, Cap..
A renowned wag at work (call him Bill), on seeing another colleague (Ben) walking back from the canteen with a banana in his pocket, piped up:
"Is that a banana in your pocket, Ben, or are you pleased to see me?"
to which came the reply:
"It's a banana, Bill - I'm never pleased to see you."

Blinding.



#16218 01/23/01 10:19 PM
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Her name was Nancy Witcher Langhorne. She is also reputed to have referred to the soldiers who took part in the invasion of Italy as D-Day Dodgers (or at least something that could be interpreted with that phrase) and got a mention in the song D-Day Dodgers to honour* the occasion.

*Brit spelling to honor the fact that she was a Brit, as were the D-Day Dodgers.


#16219 01/24/01 04:55 AM
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I think she came from the US, but married an Englishman.

Bingley


Bingley
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