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it’s a real gasser [Re: A C Bowden] #228036
03/06/18 02:07 AM
03/06/18 02:07 AM
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“It’s not easy to laugh,” he said brightly,
“So I practice it just about nightly.
I bring my boat dockside,
Breathe nitrogen oxide.
Here, try some!” he offered politely.

AMBIENT - APERTURE

Two holes are better than one [Re: wofahulicodoc] #228097
03/26/18 03:23 AM
03/26/18 03:23 AM
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One aperture may not suffice
To empty a can in a trice.
If the ambient air
Keeps the liquid in there,
The can must be pierced at least twice.

MERMAID - METHOD

Mythical natation [Re: A C Bowden] #228124
04/03/18 03:28 AM
04/03/18 03:28 AM
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A mermaid can swim like a fish;
Her tail makes a powerful swish.
But her method of movement
Is quite an improvement -
Her arms can be flexed at her wish.

MARGRAVE - MARZIPAN

No accounting for taste [Re: A C Bowden] #228146
04/10/18 08:11 PM
04/10/18 08:11 PM
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A female Margrave (and Dutchess)
Sought post-prandial sweets to eat, such as
Some chocolate brandy
Or marzipan candy.
You're Danish? Stay out of her clutches!

POINTLESS - PORCELAIN

Re: No accounting for taste [Re: wofahulicodoc] #228147
04/11/18 12:09 AM
04/11/18 12:09 AM
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Originally Posted by wofahulicodoc
A female Margrave

That is to say, a Margravine...


And here's one I did earlier today:

A margrave declared to a lackey:
I'll eat something novel and snacky".
"This marzipan, Sire,
Is what you require",
Said the cook; "it's exotic and wacky".

...cannot do better [Re: A C Bowden] #228149
04/11/18 04:06 PM
04/11/18 04:06 PM
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Quite similar in spirit, aren't they.

A (very) brief peek via Google reveals that the post of Margrave was generally
restricted to males. Ah well - chalk it up to Authors' License.

And I didn't realize until after posting that the rhyme was inspired by G&S -
"...In short, if you'd kindle/The spark of a swindle..." from Gondoliers.

Informed opinion [Re: wofahulicodoc] #228155
04/14/18 12:20 AM
04/14/18 12:20 AM
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POINTLESS - PORCELAIN

A well-known antiques connoisseur
Remarked with an expert's hauteur:
"Your porcelain bowl
Has this pointless small hole -
A quirk that was once de rigueur".

DRAINED - DRIFTED

No winner [Re: A C Bowden] #228173
04/19/18 01:00 AM
04/19/18 01:00 AM
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A few hundred yards still remained,
And both sets of oarsmen felt drained.
They drifted so wide
They were disqualified.
"Void race!" cried the ref, looking pained.

EDIFY - EFFUSIVE

Food for the soul [Re: A C Bowden] #228182
04/24/18 01:42 AM
04/24/18 01:42 AM
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If you're eager to edify sinners
Or people who beg for hot dinners,
Be warm and effusive -
Say "Joy is elusive,
But Jesus loves losers, not winners".

ROGUISH - ROOF

on the other hand... [Re: A C Bowden] #228186
04/24/18 08:55 PM
04/24/18 08:55 PM
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If you wish in this world to advance
Your merits you're bound to enhance
You must stir it and stump it
And blow your own trumpet
Or trust me you haven't a chance!

(--You-know-who)

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