I returned to this Board after remarrying, moving into a new home, changing my secular job and setting up a new computer. As sometimes happens, one is unable to "come home" because "home" is not where one left it. That was certainly the case with AWADTalk. What had been a cordial, witty and intellectually-stimulating place was now a seething chaos of vituperation and acrimony.

Upon my return, several old hands asked me to intervene, to "contribute something towards preventing the demise of AWADtalk" or to suggest " how this mess might be happily resolved." While I was flattered to be asked, I do not possess the skills necessary to resuscitate a dead horse.

This situation reminds me of those married couples whose relationships go from uneasy to unhappy to downright mean to toxic and THEN come to a priest with the expectation that he can "save the marriage." WHAT marriage? All that is usually brought into the pastor's study in such situations is the corpse of what was once a living and loving relationship.

I believe in resurrection; I wouldn't be much of a priest if I didn't. But for a relationship to be saved, there has to be good will all around. Absent this precondition, there is no hope at all. While it is difficult to intuit much from postings on a board such as AWADTalk, I do not sense the presence of good will all around.

There is an old joke about how many psychiatrists it takes to change a light bulb. The answer is "Only one, but the light bulb has to really WANT to change." This is another way of saying that, if there is not a readiness to alter destructive patterns, destruction will continue. As a judge and as a priest, I see more than enough destruction in my professional life; I don't need to witness more on a board which ought to be refreshing, recreative and edifying.

Relationships (marriages and cyber-associations) may become unhealthy and even toxic. When this happens, the most sensible thing to do is to escape. I respect (and now join) those who have escaped from this Board. Without recrimination, I do so for my own soul's health. If this is an act of cowardice, so be it.

I apologize to those who are disappointed that I could not "do something" to make it all better. I apologize to those who have been frustrated by the silly tangents onto which I took threads, by injecting whimsy where more serious discourse was appropriate. I apologize to those who were offended when I persisted in referring to Great Britain as "the Mother Country" -- which, as a good Anglican and speaker of the English language, it is, for me. And I apologize for deserting those of you whose hope for the future of this board allows you to remain.

Goodbye and God bless.

Father Steve

Very well put, Father Steve.

May God bless you, the people who read here, all who read here, and may we all hope that your vision of peace will extend to a new marriage here of people who agree and have the hope of being again one day in like-minded company. Eventually I, too, will probably leave if that hope for return to Anu's original concept appears to be finally impossible.

Best regards,
Wordwind

I apologize for deserting those of you whose hope for the future of this board allows you to
remain.

As one of those who asked for your guidance, I am one of the disappointed ones, yet I am also one who wishes you well wherever you may choose to go. Your reasons for departing are completely legitimate, with not a hint of cowardice. You need not take a "busman's holiday" by remaining here in an acrimonious place. I remain here in part because I have no other place to go. I remain here in part because there are still occasional bursts of wit and intellect that I cannot find in my job. I remain here in part because a few people here have treated me with kindness when I've sorely needed it. Even the oft-maligned Keiva, whom I publicly criticised, has never failed to treat me kindly. Perhaps, as you believe, AWAD-talk is moribund and disspirited, but I can't help but remember the old saying, "Where there is life, there is hope." The pulse is weak, and shall weaken more with your withdrawal, but there are a few of us who hope that your well-stated reasons for withdrawing may serve as an elixir to restore both spirit and flesh to this body.

Best wishes Fr Steve from someone in one of the many mother countries that counts you as one of our own.