Dear Friends, Jackie needs help. Specifically she needs just eleven posts to reach her lifelong dream of attaining Pooh-Bahdom. So let's all pitch in and do our bit by making posts that she will be unable to avoid responding to. Her reticence may disguise it, but she will be forever grateful, I know.

suggestions:
1) gutter excursions
2) recruit newbies
3) effusive praise
4) disguise yourself as newbie
5) ... oh that oughta suffice
-ron (heavy lies the head...) obvious

A-HEM: "Gentlemen", she said using the term loosely--nothing you can do will make me post. Not a thing.

Max--if you recall, "my dear", I do know a few things about you that you would prefer not to have revealed. You
wouldn't want me to let something "slip", now, would you???
'Cause you know exactly what I don't like, an' you did it anyway. You're skating on thin ice, Bub.

As for you, "Tsuwm", or whoever you are, oh ho ho--your suggestions are WAY off.

1) gutter excursions Ha! I can choose to ignore.
2) recruit newbies I have sent many a private welcome.
3) effusive praise Of...???
4) disguise yourself as newbie Any comment would be too revealing.
5) ... oh that oughta suffice Ran out of steam already, eh? Too bad...

Nope, there is nothing you can do to make me post.

Max--if you recall, "my dear", I do know a few things about you that you would prefer not to have revealed. You
wouldn't want me to let something "slip", now, would you

[shaking-in-boots-emoticon] You're right, anything but that - I do retract in dust and ashes. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea grovelling maxima culpa!

Gee, all us gossips all a-quiver trying to figure out what juicy bits of scandal are being hinted at.Now, Jackie, you must scold me for believing any scandal is involved.
Failure to do so would be an injustice to Max.

Now, Jackie, you must scold me for believing any scandal is involved.
Failure to do so would be an injustice to Max.

Oho, Dearest Bill, you think you're being sneaky, don't you?
Well, you can't get me to post, either!

Please, Jackie, you're being unfair to Max. You are notorious for fairness, as I am for silliness. I plead with you to make it clear there are no stains on Max's escutcheon or wherever they might accumulate.

make it clear there are no stains on Max's escutcheon

Well, as to what's on Max's plate, I really can't say. And you, sweet Bill, still can't get me to post. However, there is one among us, who by the merest hint of a whim, could get me to post anything and everything, I am in such
admiration of this personage.

in such admiration of this personage

I can't wait to find out who? Please whoever you are post something!!!


CJ

I'll put you out of your misery, Bill. Jackie is being chivalrous in refusing to reveal that one cannot even see my escutcheon, so heavily is it stained!

I can't wait to find out who? Please whoever you are post something!!!

The person in question is Anu, aka wordsmith Petition The Great Garg, and perhaps he will bless you with a response.

Now, Jackie,you've done it again, suggesting that Max's plate would contain anything unappetizing. Again, you must be fair to Max, and make it clear you were not criticising his table manners or choice of comestibles.

Dear Max: now I am sure you are being unfair to yourself. And even if you were not unfair to yourself, it is just not be like the Jackie we know and love to be even a tiny bit unfair to you. Jackie, please clarify this.

Or maybe it's one of us Ayleurs. Ayleurs are a great bunch and I am sure the Ayleur that Jackie is in such admiration of is one of us Ayleurs, wouldn't you say?

Now Jackie, being an Ayleur herself cannot but respond to a plea from her favorite Ayleur.



(pssst [whispering emoticon] Max, do you know who this Ayleur is so that we may entreat him/her?)

My dear Jackie - Chivalry LIVES -- In spite of the ugly rumours of its early demise. Would a Southerner ever not come to the aid of a damsel in distress? Of course not!! And all the more quickly if, as here, said damsel is a Southern Belle known for her grace and kindness, her wit and skill, and one who is far too ladylike ever herself to call for assistance. Dear Lady! How may poor Scribbler, ever your admirer, assist your Ladyship in this trying time? Your wish is my command, O Ruler of the Blue Horizon!

O Scribbler, to you and you alone, wilt I respond with any number--thousands, if you wish it--of posts.
I bow before your eminence, and am honored that you deign to notice me.

Your humble Ladyship

Dear Bill, et al--

I have not seen Max's escutcheon plate, but I am quite sure that it is untarnished. Max has the soul of an angel.
And you still can't make me post.

Dear Max: Into the breach once more, dear friends, and all that.

And you still can't make me post.


1597 - my dirty deed is nearly done, dirt cheap. [maniacal-mirth-emoticon]

Jackie,

My dad talked me into posting something to you. I don't really know what to say, but it seems silly to me as both of you seem quite capable of posting in bunches without much help from anyone. BTW, is this really the kind of junk that keeps him online all the time?

Alex (stranger and stranger)

Well, "Alex"--
you certainly are a stranger to me. I am sorry to seem rude, but you are going to have to tell me who your father is, or at least his screen name, before I can reply to you.
I love Max, but he is on notice not to start any more of this kind of "junk", as you put it.

No, no, Alex ... it's usually MUCH stranger than this.

Now Jacqueline, you must post otherwise we will have just one male Poo Bah and no female representative for the rank.
Would you really want that ... an unbalanced Board?
Anu (bless him} is doing his best but you must help out!
Teeter-totterly yours,
wow

And I have heard it's lonely at the top. So, Jackie you just cannot justify prolonging tsuwm's loneliness. To do so would not be consonant with your well earned reputation for kindness.

I love Max, but he is on notice not to start any more of this kind of "junk", as you put it.

After the surreal twist this thread has taken, Max has pledged never to give in to the dark side again!

Alex, you must check out Wordplay and Miscellany categories. They are very interesting and often quite funny. This, being the Info and Announcements category, can sometimes be all straight lines and 90-degree corners.

Why don't you set up your own persona and give your dad a run for his money.

Jackie:
Do you believe in the existence of the Great Anu ?

wow
High Priestess

C'mon folks ... it was worth a try.
wow
P.S. to Jackie ...

Please, please, please, please? Pretty please with whipped cream, a cherry and chocolate sauce, make that fudge sauce.

I just ran into this thread... now I know why Jackie doesn't keep cows in a barn!

Jackie! Jackie!
How about... ALEX is TSUWM's son/daughter???

[very-proud-that-I-got-that-and-need-some-praise-from-the-very-nearly-Pooh-Bah-Jackie emoticon]

How awful would it be if Jackie very nearly got there and then purposely stopped posting for ages?

A short distance though it may be, I refuse to having anything to do with driving Jackie crazy in spite of her implication that I may set out to achieve this.

I'm much too worried about hanging on to the shreds of my own sanity to start hacking away at the crumbling foundations of someone else's. Don't you just love mixed metaphors?

Anyway, she'd be a pooh-bahette or a pooh-bahesse, wouldn't she? Sort of a pooh-bear in drag?

Lurker alert! I have secret information that we have an illustrious lurker in our midst. I'll not reveal identity of this person, but anybody who cannot guess is dull indeed.

What evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows!

Rather than becoming a Pooh-Bah (such a male character!), I wonder if Jackie would prefer to be elevated to one of the women characters of The Mikado. Other than the elderly Katisha (not for Jackie, I don't think), how about Yum-Yum, Pitti-Sing or Peep-Bo? Ladies' choice, I believe!

I dunno. I'm not sure there's room for more than one Pooh-Bah on this here board. I still say if tsuwm is our Pooh-Bah, Jackie should become our Tiggah. And Max would probably make a good Eeyoah.

Can't see Jackie as a brainless, twittering schoolgirl a la Yum Yum ... Mikado perhaps ... no, IMPERATRIX
That's it!
Are you listening O Great and Much Loved Anu?
wow

Don't know about Imperatrix...calls up visions of patent leather panties, push-up bras, fishnet stockings, handcuffs and those short whip thingings with the pieces of metal at the end of the strands of leather. Call me fuddy-duddy but that just doesn't sound like Jackie.

Comtesse would be so much more appropriate, don't you think?

Mind you, I don't think we really have a choice. The titles are pretty much assigned to specific numbers of posts rather that personality. If you look at tsuwm's picture you will see that he does not look like a pooh-bah. He is not fluffy enough.

You are probably right, belM, now that you mention it ... I was just trying to keep up with the Latin scholars ... Imperatrix = Empress
We will just trust Anu (Bless his name) --- anyone who could come up with Poo Bah for tsuwm has got to have something really amazing in mind for our sweet Jackie!
wow

Scribbler asked a question in another thread that I feel compelled to answer, about our dear Father Steve:
The Shepherd looks after the One as well as the Ninety and nine, but who, pray tell, checks on the Shepherd?
I do, sir, unfailingly so far. He is far too valuable a
parson-person (!) to be allowed to think that he has been forgotten about. Unless something has happened very recently, he himself is fine; just rather busy with two careers and family needs.

So--I am now a pooh-bah, but nowhere near the equivalent of Tsuwm, whom I really wish would 'fess up as to who Alex is.

All Hail the Pooh-bahs! tsuwm, the ultimate information resource, and Jackie the indispensible arbitrix elegantiarum and hostess with the mostest.

In reply to:

---

Don't know about Imperatrix...calls up visions of patent leather panties, push-up bras, fishnet stockings, handcuffs and those short whip thingings with the pieces of metal at the end of the strands of leather.

---

Gee, belM, you make that sound like a bad thing.

We have Poo Bahs Two -- all Hail the Poo Bahs!
Congratulations to Jackie (and to tsuwm too) on your elevation.
Singing and rejoicing is heard throughout AWADland.
Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!
wow

Thanks, wow.

I just noticed something: this is the first title that is capitalized, I do believe. Wonder why?

And paulb, I shall have to defer the choice to you, among
Yum-Yum, Pitti-Sing or Peep-Bo.

Don't know about Imperatrix...calls up visions of patent leather panties, push-up bras, fishnet stockings, handcuffs and those short whip thingings with the pieces of metal at the end of the strands of leather. Call me fuddy-duddy but that just doesn't sound like Jackie.
belM! You've seen my closet?!? Wow--wouldn't it be funny if the title after Pooh-Bah was fuddy-duddy?

Arbitrix, now...wwh, I like that! Once upon a time, I thought I was a mess_handler, but this is much nicer!

my money's on wwh for the third to reach poohbahdom.

Quantity I can manage because I spend almost my whole day here. I can't read much now. But as for quality, I have to be genuinely humble because so many of you are more widely read, and up to date on current literature in a way I can never manage. So all I can do is eagerly await somebody's giving me a chance to make a wisecrack. At least the lynching party seems to have disbanded. Glad of that.

So all I can do is eagerly await somebody's giving me a chance to make a wisecrack. At least the lynching party seems to have disbanded. Glad of that.

Darling, you have a tremendous storehouse of knowledge and
experience that cannot possibly be equaled by any of us.
I am honored to know you. You are a beloved treasure.

I am honored to know you. You are a beloved treasure.

Hear, hear! Love ya, Uncle Bill.

Yup. A big group hug for both Pooh-Bahs and Dr Bill!

GO SPARTANS!
GO NITTANY LIONS!
GO ILLINI!

I value your collective kindness so much I will try to refrain from letting my ribaldry get out of hand. I might even try to refrain from brainstorming. Ask CK what that means. (Then tattle to me, so I can tell if he bowdlerizes it.)

I am honored to know you. You are a beloved treasure.

see, bill! and if you check the timing on our private messages, you'll see that you heard it here first!

Yup. A big group hug for both Pooh-Bahs and Dr Bill!

A big helping of ditto from Down Under. I was tempted to emulate your barracking for sports teams, but the soccer team I support will soon crush the one that shanks supports in the FA Cup semi-final, and it seemed in poor taste to remind him of that fact.

I have trouble comparing times, particularly when I have to switch from one window to another.