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Posted By: WhitmanO'Neill Things to Ponder - 01/12/04 07:03 PM
(many are word-related)

THINGS TO PONDER


When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just
"chunkydunk."

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Taxes?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!


Posted By: WhitmanO'Neill Re: Things to Ponder: in/on film/tv - 01/14/04 11:41 PM
>in a movie, on tv<

yeahbut, we also say "on screen" (or, onscreen, I think it's come together now).

in film

on the tv

So what's the linguistic nuance that affects this, seems to have something to do with the "a", "the" qualifiers, but not always?

Posted By: jheem Re: Things to Ponder - 01/14/04 11:45 PM
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Because animal intestines are round. And not all bread is square. But less seriously, nice list.


Posted By: Zed Re: Things to Ponder - 01/16/04 07:53 PM
Chunkydunk.

The rest made me laugh as well. Thank you.

Posted By: wsieber Re: Things to Ponder - 01/20/04 01:21 PM
Why do they say "time on your hands" ... of all places?

Posted By: Bingley Re: Things to Ponder - 01/21/04 02:23 AM
Because the expression came in before wristwatches were invented, I suppose.

Bingley
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