I stumbled across this wickedly humorous dictionary today, and thought some of you might enjoy it:

http://www.roycrofter.com/dict.htm#A

A couple of random examples (it'd be impossible to pick my favorites, as there would quite literally be hundreds):


Minute: 1) The crutch on which the Hour leans as it limps into Eternity. 2) A space of time in which we dream of something that will never come true, or form a resolution that another minute effaces.

Militarism: A fever for conquest, with Peace for a shield, using music and brass buttons to dazzle and divert the Populace.

Mistress: 1) A Female who has rights, as distinguished from a married woman, who has duties. 2) One whose respect and love some married men may hold without the non-transferable license in the bottom of a trunk.

Mammon: The Pope of Protestantism.

Mephisto: The fourth person in the Holy Trinity.

Marriage: 1) A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for 99 years, or until death do them join. 2) A way-station, not the end of the journey. 3) The aspiration of two vowels to be a diphthong. 4) Love's demitasse.


I'd be interested in hearing if anyone besides me finds this site the least bit funny.

Dear gymkhana: I found quite a few of the definitions risible. Also, if you erase the last part of the URL to get to the Website, there is a large archive of Epigrams, some of which I enjoyed more than the Dictionary.

It’s a dictionary, Gym, but not as we know it! Thanks for this – lots of laughs
but I plead the fifth as to which of your examples I laughed at most of all


We could have a fun reverse-engineering game with this: can you guess what the word is from the definition?!
For example:
1. Love's by-product
2. A scheme for shortening human life through overeating
3. To secretly wish evil to one who has given us pleasure
4. An unnecessary evil
5. A place where the dead lie.

Hmm~mmm

I know #5 is the marital bed, but you've got me on the rest of them.

Pray, tell?

EDIT Oh, you wicked thing ~ I've now looked them all up, and I certainly hope you excepted Sparteye via PM! *EG*