Thanks, Max! Those were just the ticket. I was in the mood for bad bagpipe jokes tonight, although I didn't realize it until I found your thread.

Q. Why do pipers always walk when they play?
I thought it was to get away from the sound!

Q. What's the difference between a dead piper in the road and a dead
country singer in the road?
A. The country singer may have been on the way to a recording session.
Plus, there are skidmarks in front of the country singer.

Some of these I have heard as other musician jokes. That's the wonderful thing about them - many of them are so flexible!

You know how you can get to park in the handicapped spots? Just leave your bagpipes on the dashboard.

I kind of enjoy bagpipes myself, so I hope nobody takes offense. These are offered in good fun. (I play the violin, so if anyone wants to take a stab back, they may! )

highland bagpipes really can be pretty dreadful when placed in the wrong hands -- human. but I like Irish pipes a lot.

Max-- these are great-- i love the pipes too, and family tradition has them at most weddings-- but i can understand that some people fail to fully appreciate them.

kudo's to tsuwm, just for knowing there is a difference between irish and scots pipes! and for all you pipers out there, Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh PA, offers Pipes in the Music program.. there are US graduates who have majored in Pipes!--

I like Irish pipes a lot.

Or try Northumbrian pipes.

There's also the pipes from some former Soviet republic (I never remember which, Georgia comes to mind but I think it's actually one of the -stans) that are very very haunting. I'll dig out the LP and let y'all know.

What is the only encore ever requested of a piper? That he play "Over the hills and far away".

I had a pastor once joke that if he sings, we'll be requesting that he sing "On a Hill Far Away."

There's also the pipes from some former Soviet republic ... that are very very haunting. I'll dig out the LP and let y'all know.
Please, Faldage, if you're tempted to post a link providing an audio sample -- don't.

I come, like MaxQ, from New Zealand. No, really. And worse, I come from Dunedin in New Zealand, which has the greatest number of bagpipers per square mile of anywhere in the world, or so I fear. When other children were begging their mothers to take them to the parade, I was begging my mother to send me as far away as possible. There would always be at least five, and sometims as many as 12 highland pipe bands playing. And I used to have perfect pitch. I loathe the pipes with a loathing that passeth all understanding.

Max's post was just the ticket - it's the only entertainment I've *ever got out of the bagpipes.