Funeral Notice
===============
It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following
news:
The Pillsbury Doughboy dies yesterday of a yeast infection and
trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects,
including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins,
Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch.
The gravesite was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered
the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never
knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show
business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was
not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on
half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flakey at times he
was still a crusty old man and was considered a roll model for
millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John
Dough and Jane Dough, plus they have one in the oven. He is
also survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
Buried in his loafers, no doubt. Popular, though frequently panned.
I heard he had a Do Nut resuscitate order.
Poor Doughboy, he can't win. If in Heaven he will only be half-baked, and if in Hell he will likely be overdone.
Hey!
All your replies are really terrific. I needed a good laugh.
Although Doughboy was not quite so well known in Europe, a memorial service was held in Madeira to commemorate his colourful life. It was attended by a number of fans, including Mr Kipling, Mother Pride and ( it is rumoured) the Bakewell Tart! – although the lady concerned may just have been a piece of local cheesecake just there to sponge of the fans at the meal that followed.
The officiating cleric gave an eulogy based on Leviticus 24:5 which went down very well. He also mention that Doughboy’s schemes had frequently been “knocked down” and declared to be bloomers, but he had often been proved and had risen nicely afterwards.
The food at the wake was rather disappointing, as the steak was a bit hard to choux.
Lovely, simply, Rhuby.
ten cakes, or whatever, two ephahs apiece.
Reminds me of another years ago when Alka Seltzer stopped
using its icon "Speedy".(although he is back again, I see)
NOTICE:
Speedy Alka Seltzer has committed suicide. Unfortunately his
body could not be found; He simply jumped into a glass of
water and immediately effervesced. He did, however, leave
behind a suicide note, which read "Plop, plop, fizz, fizz,
Oh what a relief it is".
He also discuss that Doughboy’s techniques had regularly been “knocked down” and announced to be bloomers, but he had often been shown and had increased perfectly afterwards.
Donut King and Krispy Kreme send their condolences. Doughboy was very much a part of their lives.