As a New Years' gift Bill Gates' industrious minions have conferred upon us still another aggravation...
...wherein Google has gratituitously modified its toolbar so that a spell check, formerly requiring only two keystrokes to employ, now requires six
It is a dedicated and continuing objective in the World of Bill Gates to make everything as difficult as possible. But six keystrokes to perform the simplest and most frequently needed routine is hardly a record. In Microsoft Word, when Bill senses in your file more spelling "errors" than he thinks you should have perpetrated, he stops checking and deletes all the wiggly green lines that flag them
Eighteen keystrokes are required to restore this spellcheck. To save myself hours of accumulated time over the remaining few years of my life I recorded a macro for the purpose. If you're interested I am
dalehileman@verizon.netShortly after noting the above "enhancement" to the Google toolbar I had to go to the bathroom, where I experienced some difficulty tearing open the package of 24 Simply Soft; whereupon inside I found six packages of 4 each to unwrap. But if Bill had been on Stater Bros Board of Directors, these four would have been individually wrapped also
Eventually he would have found a way to wrap each sheet
I'm with you Dalehileman, convoluted stroking procedures are not just the inept quirks of nerds, these inanities are devised deliberately by Microsoft and others so as to defacto bond the user to thier product.
It's a small thing, but I hereby promise to never again type "Microsoft" with a capitol M.
microsoft...what arrogant jerks!
the: Bless you. Heaven knows one needs just a tiny bit of support once in a while, and especially at the top of the year
We will get a lot of static
at the top of the year
- you seriously expect nothing but a downhill slide
?
Dale:
I just went to google mail, composed a sample piece of mail and did spell check with ONE click.
I have a couple of questions:
1. Why are you posting this here? It really has nothing to do with words at all.
2. What outcome do you expect from this posting? Do you think we are all going to rise up en masse and storm the Googlean ramparts and restore one-click spell check (which is already there at least on my computer)?
3. Why are you relying upon spell check anyway? When I made up that email to check the checking I typed "Now is the time for all good men to come tot he aid of the party." Those who have been around a while know that separating the t from the rest of the word "the" is a hallmark of my typing. And of course spell check loved tot he just as much as it liked to the. My advice: save yourself time trouble aggravation and embarrassment. Don;t use spell checking programs; rely instead upon your built in dictionary. And if you need to look up a word use a dictionary.
Ted, you might as well talk to a wall
like my ex husband, Dale has made up his mind, there is no use trying to confuse him with FACTS.
and remember when ever he types Bill Gates that is his abrieviation for "the computer industry" or "IT industry"
Note: IT industry has 1 fewer keystroke than Bill Gates, but dale has made up his mind (what there is of it) that Bill Gates has a personal vendetta with him. Facts not withstanding.
take it private, Helen. please.
>take it private, Helen. please.
Is that forum-speak for "Let's take it outside" ?
> Is that forum-speak for "Let's take it outside" ?
heh.
no.
...did spell check with ONE click.
***Clearly Bill lets you alone because he likes you
1. ... It really has nothing to do with words at all.
***Alas forgive me. Some boards are in this respect more liberal than others. Heretofore I shall hew the line, holding my nose to the grindstone
2. ...Do you think we are all going to rise up en masse and storm the Googlean ramparts and restore one-click spell check...
***Indubitably
3. Why are you relying upon spell check anyway?
***In my dotage, at the verge of senility, in a massive and excitable state of confusion I often forget to proofread, or I overlook the more subtle misspelling. In my embarraassement and contrition and pursuant to your behest, upon the completion of each followup I shall diligently pursue a more comprehensive and conscientious regimen
***Thank you so much (and, heaven knows, you too Helen) for bringing these matters to my attention and the happiest of new years to you and yours
Ted, you might as well talk to a wall
- yeahbut, walls have ears..
Quote:
...did spell check with ONE click.
***Clearly Bill lets you alone because he likes you
SpellCheck
ARe yu a raelly bad tyipsst? Google Toolbar's new SpellCheck button finds any spelling mistakes whenever you type into a web form, including web-based email, discussion forums, and even intranet web applications. The AutoFix option even corrects all of your text with a single click. [emphasis added]
clearly, daleh, you need to look further/farther into this.
and, again, Bill Gates is not associated with Google.
tsu: Sorry, "Bill Gates" is merely a symbolic expr for everything wrong with the digital world
Quote:
Note: IT industry has 1 fewer keystroke than Bill Gates
Umm, one more?
mea culpa, sometimes i can't count or spell.
Don't worry, of troy. What kind of freak of nature counts keystrokes anyways.
(Opps. Sorry D~)
re: Sorry, "Bill Gates" is merely a symbolic expr for everything wrong with the digital world
and Preis my special abrieveation for Prescriptive, and ~ is another bit of shorthand,(it may refer back to subject title, and not to any text in message, YOU FIGURE IT OUT, and ...
when is the book of Dale English do out? You know, "A Handy Guide to Understanding the NEW and IMPROVED English Language by Dale Hileman?
shall we start picking on you for your spelling errors that you don't take the time to check? I know, you have dyslexia. use spell-check then.
lay off of dale. or at least take it private.
eta: Thank you but it's ok as I do tend to a bit of persiflage that annoys some and angers others. I incorporated a proscription amongst my NY's resolutions but already I find myself violating it
I can sense the mounting rage over my use of the foregoing abbr
What a hotbed of mutual antagonism, this Internet
Just have to wonder what a New York resolution is.
Some sort of (foregoing)
aberration, perhaps.
Quote:
Just have to wonder what a New York resolution is. Some sort of (foregoing) aberration, perhaps.
Heh. It's kinda like a NY minute: you make it and forget it just like that. Bada-bing.
In the meantime I ran across another Type 2 word for the expr "Bill Gates", and that is "avatar"
Also I encountered the following as anothr example of how Bill Gates makes everything 18 times more difficult than it needs to be:
Outlook has the nasty habit of sending a file to the recipient before you’re done writing it, which in many cases could easily result in a lawsuit. This occurs, for instance, when you’re composing a reply to a correspondent’s message and you inadvertenty perform a save (Ctrl+S). But it also happens at various other times for no apparent reason, so watch out. Your best bet is to play it safe:
(1) Be sure Outlook is closed.
(2) Open Word.
(3) If the Outlook header appears at the top of the window in spite of the fact that Outlook is closed,
(a) close the file,
(b) exit Word,
(c) turn off the computer,
(e) turn it back on,
(g) reboot,
(h) reopen Word;
(4) If the header
(a) is still there, we recommend suicide; but
(b) if not, proceed to the next step.
(5) Write the message in Word.
(6) Proofread it several times to be absolutely sure there are no mistakes, else if you attempt corrections in Outlook,
(a) the file may self-destruct, or at least
(b) all typography will become jumbled, or
(c) the font and background colors will have changed randomly.
(7) Copy it to the clipboard (Ctrl+C).
(8) Open Outlook.
(9) Open a new file (click on New)
(9) Retrieve it from the clipboard (Ctrl+V);
(10) If the message is now invisible, click on Format and
(a) click on Font and change the color to one that contrasts with the background or
(b) click on Background and change its color to one that contrasts with the font.
(11) Be sure the file hasn’t been corrupted, that it’s all there and that none of the typography nor color has changed; if
(a) it has, return to step (2). But, if after repeating the remaining steps to this point,
(b) the file is still corrupt, it’s time again for suicide, but
(c) it is ok, proceed to the next step.
(12) Go back to Word and close the file.
(13) Save and close any other open files in Word.
(14) Close Word.
(15) Return to Outlook.
(16) Finally, send it (click on Send a Copy).
There, see how easy and friendly is Microsoft programming?
if you don't MS products, don't use them.
there are alternatives.some are even free.
i don't understand why anyone would pay for products they don't like when there are lower cost and free alternatives.
and if you must use Outlook, memorize the following:
Save is Ctrl-S
Send is Alt-S
the fail-safe method, of course, is to never use the shortcut to Send,
but always use the Send button instead.
Helen: I almost have to MS products as it has taken me 10 years to learn all their peculiarities, while I'm too old, for instance, to learn all those of Mac
Wait til you're my age--you will see
Yours in a spirit of persiflage--Dale
tsu: Thank you for that but you don't allow for human frailties, such as inadvertently clicking on Send when you meant to hit To... . Thus I urge all others to adopt this convention: Make it a habit not to enter in either To... or Cc... until you are done editing. Then if you should prematurely do a Ctrl+S or hit Send, you are still home free
You will thank me for this tip, esp if you had made your first slip and had to hire a lawyer
>Wait til you're my age--you will see
This is not the first time you have hinted at being old. If you don't mind my asking—How many years young are you Dale?
Thank you for that, I am going on 77
Thank you too for your encouragement in this hotbed of unrestrained hostility, there should be more Hydras
Oh, and:
My No. 1 Son, a highly-paid IT, had helped me network to Laverne's machine so that I too could share Outlook’s purpose. He patiently explained how I would first have to boot her computer, but not before turning her modem on, else my Outlook wouldn’t recognize it. And only then should I energize my own machine, because if mine was already on, all hell might break loose
To further complicate things, if she then decides to use Outlook also, don’t sign off before she does else her e-mail capability is disabled (requiring her to save, shut down, reboot, etc. etc.). However, be sure she does not shut down before I do; else if I need to get back in and I reboot her machine, now my capability is disabled, (requiring me also to save, shut down, etc. etc. etc.)
In the meantime Bill has added another wrinkle, displaying error messages such as THIS SITE IS NOT AVAILABLE when you attempt to access the Internet, evidently owing to a Gates loop requiring a certain progression of power to your PC, modem, and wireless router
Understand, Bill is merely an avatar for for all this
You will thank me for this insight. Don't blame your server quite yet. His rep is kept busy 24/7 addressing troubles like yours
Your difficulty can be caused, for instance, by a momentary loss of power, your having invoked a contentious macro, or your inadvertently striking certain keys in rapid sequence. Typically the answer is very simple, do not call Verizon: Instead turn off your router, wait one full minute, then turn it back on. Now sit back for about ten minutes while your PC and router strike up a new agreement. Finally, try again getting into the Internet, when you will probably succeed
If not, only then call Verizon
HOW TO FIX WORD/OUTLOOK WHEN LINES GO OFF THE SCREEN
Hi guys: Hey, I finally stumbled on it!!! In case this ever happens to you: It has to do with Format, Paragraph, Special, Hanging. You just keep screwing around with it, invoking it and canceling it, returning from the menu, highlighting the entire file, returning to the menu, until after about a half-hour of doing everything you can think of and swearing and cussing it finally straightens itself out . – Dale
Edited to append this PS: In case you have tried the above, you found out it won’t work. You must end the procedure with the following: (a) Depress rightarrow and hold it for 30 secopnds. (b) Then do the same withleft arrow. If that doesn’t work, go back to step (a) If that doesn’t fix the problem, there’s a book you should get from Amazon; it’s called The Final Exit.