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I was tracking a package on-line and came across this gem:

Quantum View™ is "a portfolio of visibility services designed to provide proactive status information about your UPS shipments. "

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I like it. It's clear what it means and it flows poetically. Onliest reason you'd not like it is if you have some knee-jerk reaction hardwired in to your language reception optico-sensory input mental cortex subsystem.

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I beg your pardon. My language reception optico-sensory input mental cortex subsystem is not hardwired to my knees. My language reception optico-sensory input mental cortex subsystem is hardwired to my heart which jerks and breaks each time you see fit to defend the corruption of the English language.

May God save the King's english before he saves the King!

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King's english

Stop corrupting the Queen's English!

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Get hip, zmjezhd, this is C21. The King's the Queen!

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If by King's english, you mean the spin on the Queen's balls, I suppose you gotta pointy pointy.

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Pointy Birds
______________by Steve Martin - 1982

Pointy birds,
oh pointy pointy.
Anoint my head
anointy 'nointy.

As I said, zmjezhd, you are a quite the jiver, but the off-the-wall jive that you put down is oh so Twentieth Century.

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Just a Coconino County endearment.

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Just a Coconino County endearment.

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Krazy!

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This is what ee cummings said about that...

What concerns me fundamentaly is a meteoric burlesk melodrama,born of the immemorial adage love will find a way. This frank frenzy (encouraged by a strictly irrational landscape in perpetual metamorphosis) generates three protagonists and a plot. Two of the protagonists are easily recognized as a cynical brick-throwing mouse and a sentimental policeman-dog. The third protagonist -- whose ambiguous gender doesn't disguise the good news that here comes our heroine -- may be described as a humbly poetic, gently clownlike, supremely innocent, and illimitably affectionate creature (slightly resembling a child's drawing of a cat, but gifted with the secret grace and obvious clumsiness of a penguin on terra firma) who is never so happy as when egoist-mouse, thwarting altruist-dog, hits her in the head with a brick. Dog hates mouse and worships "cat", mouse despises "cat" and hates dog, "cat" hates no one and loves mouse.

Ignatz Mouse and Offissa Pupp are opposite sides of the same coin. Is Offissa Pupp kind? Only in so far as Ignatz Mouse is cruel. If you're a twofisted, spineless progressive (a mighty fashionable stance nowadays) Offissa Pupp, who forcefully asserts the will of socalled society, becomes a cosmic angel; while Ignatz Mouse, who forcefully defies society's socalled will by asserting his authentic own, becomes a demon of anarchy and a fiend of chaos. But if -- whisper it -- you're a 100% hidebound reactionary, the foot's in the other shoe. Ignatz Mouse then stands forth as a hero, pluckily struggling to keep the flag of free will flying; while Offissa Pupp assumes the monstrous mien of a Goliath, satanically bullying a tiny but indomitable David. Well, let's flip the coin -- so: and lo! Offissa Pupp comes up. That makes Ignatz Mouse "tails." Now we have a hero whose heart has gone to his head and a villain whose head has gone to his heart.

This hero and villain no more understand Krazy Kat than the mythical denizens of a two dimensional realm understand some three dimensional intruder. The world of Offissa Pupp and Ignatz Mouse is a knowledgeable power-world, in terms of which our unknowledgeable heroine is powerlessness personified. The sensical law of this world is might makes right; the nonsensical law of our heroine is love conquers all.

To put the oak in the acorn: Ignatz Mouse and Offissa Pupp (each completely convinced that his own particular brand of might makes right) are simple-minded--Krazy isn't--therefore, to Offissa Pupp and Ignatz Mouse, Krazy is. But if both our hero and our villain don't and can't understand our heroine, each of them can and each of them does misunderstand her differently. To our softhearted altruist, she is the adorably helpless incarnation of saintliness. To our hardhearted egoist, she is the puzzlingly indestructible embodiment of idiocy. The benevolent overdog sees her as an inspired weakling. The malevolent undermouse views her as a born target. Meanwhile Krazy Kat, through this double misunderstanding, fulfills her joyous destiny.


I am Krazy Kat, Faldage is Offissa Pupp the dog, and zmjezhg is Ignate the mouse. Yin, Yang, and Jung.

----> And zmjezhd, remember, only the winner declares checkmate