Winners of a New York Magazine contest who were asked to take a well-known expression in a foreign language, change a single letter and provide a definition for the new expression:

RIGOR MORRIS:
The cat is dead.

RESPONDEZ S'IL VOUS PLAID:
Honk if you're Scottish

HARLEZ-VOUS FRANCAIS?:
Can you drive a French motorcycle?

VENI, VIPI, VICI:
I came, I'm a very important person, I conquered

VENI, VIDI, VISA:
I came, I saw, I shopped.

COGITO EGGO SUM:
I think, therefore I am ... a waffle

QUE SERA SERF:
Life is feudal

LEROI EST MORT. JIVE LEROI:
The king is dead. No kidding

POSH MORTEM:
Death styles of the rich and famous

PRO BOZO PUBLICO:
Support your local clown

MONAGE A TROIS:
I am three years old

HASTE CUISINE:
Fast French food

QUIP PRO QUO:
A fast retort

ALOHA OY:
Love; greetings; farewell;
and from such a pain you should never know

MAZEL TON:
Tons of luck

COGITO EGGO SUM:
I think, therefore I am ... a waffle

I think, therefore I, um ah, am . . . a waffle, um, I think? Maybe I'm not . . . oh well, ah, okay -- I'm a waffle.