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Posted By: jmh In Praise of Our Revered Winner - 10/01/00 05:40 PM
Congratulations Jackie for winning the Challange of the Fortnight.

As part of your prize here is a special thread in praise of the winner, where A Word A Day-ers can post messages of congratulation, eulogies, limericks, poems or anything else that comes to mind!


Posted By: jmh Re: In Praise of Our Revered Winner - 10/01/00 06:00 PM
Jackie. I don't want this to get too slushy (yuk) but I remembered this poem and thought you might like it. It came second in a BBC poetry vote (after "If")

I did think about translating it into Cockney rhyming slang but I thought better of it!

When I am Old
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me,
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at one go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes to keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We will have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old and start to wear purple.
by Jennie Joseph

Posted By: Jackie Re: In Praise of Our Revered Winner - 10/02/00 02:09 AM
Jo,

Thank you. I am honored. I like the fishie, too!

Love,

Jackie


P.S.--An added note: for a couple of reasons, I won't post a response to any more individual posts, of which there may not be any anyway, though each will get private thanks.
Posted By: maverick Re: In Praise of Our Revered Winner - 10/02/00 10:26 AM
Jollity greets all arrivals on site
An old hand extended in friendship’s delight.
Cleaving to wisdom like a fish to a bike,
Kudos is hers, as you-all know that she’ll like.
I offer respect to the thread BOSS of late –
Even though my spilt words may disorientate!


Posted By: paulb Re: In Praise of Our Revered Winner - 10/02/00 11:37 AM
On 'ya, Jackie!

Posted By: TEd Remington Re: In Praise of Our Revered Winner - 10/02/00 04:07 PM
>When suddenly I am old and start to wear purple

Someone will always be asking me if they can kiss my ring!!

Posted By: maverick Re: In Praise of Our Revered Winner - 10/02/00 04:45 PM
kiss my ring!!

!!

Posted By: Jazzoctopus Re: In Praise of Our Revered Winner - 10/02/00 08:13 PM
Well, Jackie, in honor of your recent victory, I wrote a little number for you, and it goes something like this: 3

Posted By: Jackie Re: In Praise of Our Revered Winner - 10/03/00 11:27 AM
a little number for you, and it goes something like this: 3


I agree.


Posted By: belMarduk Re: In Praise of Our Revered Winner - 10/03/00 08:20 PM
Congrats to Jackie
We're impressed with your talent
Three cheers from us all

bel


Posted By: AnnaStrophic Re: In Praise of Our Revered Winner - 10/04/00 05:14 PM
I'm working on a limerick... but it's damned difficult to give equal time to two in 5-line verse. Congrats, meanwhile, both of y'all.
As for you, maverick... YOU should win an award for something... Your contribution was stunning. What do we call that form of poesy?

Posted By: Bingley Re: In Praise of Our Revered Winner - 10/05/00 04:38 AM
Congrats to the fastest old hand in the West.

Bingley
Posted By: maverick Re: In Praise of Our Revered Winner - 10/05/00 08:16 AM
What do we call that form of poesy?

Thanks, Anna - how about slightly decsic?

Posted By: Bridget Re: In Praise of Our Revered Winner - 10/05/00 09:48 AM
Jacks and Max, congrats!

Champagne all round - or since this is Oz, I'll make it a barbecue. And Jackie, I'll toast you till you're well done. Max, you're just rare!

Posted By: Jackie Re: In Praise of Our Revered Winner - 10/05/00 12:55 PM
... the fastest old hand in the West

Dang it--there really oughta be an icon for evil grin, or at least a leer!

C'mere, Baby, and I'll show you how fast my hands can be!
(The rest of you may take a number.)

Posted By: tsuwm Re: In Praise of Our Revered Winner - 10/05/00 02:11 PM
>there really oughta be an icon for evil grin...

you'll just have to be satisfied with <eg> or B-)


Posted By: Max Quordlepleen Re: In Praise of Our Revered Winner - 10/05/00 09:11 PM
I still feel very uncomfortable receiving any plaudits for my effort. The terms of the contest keep pestering me, like Banquo's ghost: "Continuing a regular theme, here is a challenge for those of you who do not speak (predominantly) British/UK English as your first language."
Surely if the IOC can call a 16 year old girl a cheat for taking an NSAID, I should be pilloried with equal ruthlessness and savagery for entering a contest whose rules disbarred me. }8^(

Posted By: tsuwm Re: In Praise of Our Revered Winner - 10/05/00 09:17 PM
in the spirit of Max' demurral, thumbs up for Jackie and a big desuperpollication for Max.

Posted By: Jackie Re: In Praise of Our Revered Winner - 10/06/00 01:14 AM
a big desuperpollication for Max.

No way, uh uh, no fair, I won't allow it! Max SAID that he
wasn't intending it to be a real entry. Even with that
disclaimer, he still got his award. So he can most certainly accept accolades, darn it! Max, don't you DARE
try to weasel out of this again! Grr.



Posted By: jmh Re: In Praise of Our Revered Winner - 10/06/00 07:46 AM
>for those of you who do not speak (predominantly) British/UK English

I have posted a reply to this issue in the main competition thread. The rules were clear and you were a clear winner of the "prize for the fastest entry by a Kiwi". Not only were you the winner but you were also the only competitor! If you are looking for Olympic analogies, you only have to think back to early stages of the swimming where there was an unlikely medalist who had never been in a race before.

On the other hand ...

You raise the issue of drug testing. I think this might be a good idea to incorporate into future competitions!


Posted By: Bridget Re: In Praise of Our Revered Winner - 10/06/00 09:44 AM
Official judges' report:

'We were impressed by Max's new zeal and enthusiasm, but in the end we realised Jackie's for US.

So the verdict is - Jackie, Max is out!'



Posted By: Jackie Re: In Praise of Our Revered Winner - 10/06/00 10:07 AM
Jackie, Max is out

No, he ain't--I've handcuffed him to me. If he's out,
I'm out. I ain't standin' on this-here podium
bah mahsay-ulf!
(OUCH! Max, stop that tugging! Stop it, I say!)

Posted By: paulb Re: In Praise of Our Revered Winner/s - 10/06/00 11:07 AM
Here's a small tribute to the winner/s (with apologies to Lewis Carroll):

The Jackie and the Quordlepleen
were posting on the board.
They smiled with glee at all the words
they had within their hoard.
‘If these were ever cleared away,’
they said, ‘We would be bored.’

‘The time has come now,’ Jackie said,
‘To talk of many words.
Of tenses — YARTS — and similes —
of anagrams — and glurds —
and welcomes to the posters new —
and fish on bikes — and nerds.

"But, wait a bit, Old Hand,’ said Max,
‘Before we finish here,
D’ye think the others may catch up —
They’re getting mighty near?’
‘I doubt it.’ said our Cheshire Cat
and grinned from ear to ear.

I admire paulb's gentle eulogy a great deal; however, I feel that an epic victory demands an epic poem

with apologies to Lord Macaulay

How Jacqulynia swept the Board

The Max Q, of down under, by the ninth tense has sworn
That the grand prize of jmh would off by him be borne
By the ninth tense he swore it, and wore the night away
And bade his messages go forth, East and West and South and North,
To scatter disarray.

East and West and South and North the messages went fast
And all the noble posters noted he was first to blast.
Shame on the false awad-er who lingers in their bed
When Max Q of down under has said what he has said.

in the interests of brevity, we switch to the beleaguered gates of Home page

Then up spake brave Jacqulynia, the keeper of the board,
“To everyone upon this site, this challenge strikes a chord;
What better way of posting than by facing dreadful bods
Who mangle our pure language with words like ‘dames’ and ‘rods.’”

“I’ll put in my bridge, Sir Consul, with all the speed I may;
With a pair of words beside me, this upstart I will flay.
In yon strait thread, a thousand may well be stopped by me
I’ll take a mouse in either hand and write a word or three.”

Once more, the interests of brevity demand a jump through hyperspace

They gave her of the board space which was of common right
As much as three strong fishes could cycle from morn ‘til night
And builded her a statue, with her story writ on high
And there it stands until this day, to witness if I lie



apologies to Joyce Kilmer, Mad® and Schlitz®

I think that I shall never hear
A poem lovelier than beer.
.
.
Poems are made by fools, I fear
But only Hoegaarden can make a beer.


Posted By: Jackie Re: In Praise of Our Revered Winner/s - 10/06/00 02:48 PM
Jacqulynia swept the Board

This is certainly appropriate, since I am now a mess-handler!

Posted By: maverick Re: In Praise of Our Revered Winner/s - 10/06/00 02:52 PM
now a mess-handler!

... but glad to hear you've got the rubber gloves, old hand!

Posted By: Max Quordlepleen Re: In Praise of Our Revered Winner - 10/06/00 08:27 PM
(Sorry Sam)

I heard, and in my soul discern'd
two voices in the air

"Is it he?" quoth one, "is this the Max?"

The other was a softer voice
As soft as honey-dew:
Quoth he, "The Max hath penance done,
And penance more will do."

Forthwith my this frame of mine was wrench'd
With a woful agony,
Which forced me to begin my tale;
And then it left me free.

Since then at an uncertain hour,
That agony returns,
And till my ghastly tale is told,
This heart within me burns.

He playeth best, who keepeth best
All rules both great and small.

Posted By: Max Quordlepleen Re: In Praise of Our Revered Winner - 10/06/00 08:38 PM
'We were impressed by Max's new zeal and enthusiasm'

Very droll, but here's the real test: New Zealand has two official languages, can you pull a stunt like that with the other official name for my country? If you need help spelling it, check my profile. Consider this challenge Max's revenge - open to all, prizes (penalties?) to be determined. The challenge will run for a sennight starting now, that is 06/10/2000 22:37 ITC (GMT for the traditionalists)

Posted By: tsuwm Re: Max's revanche - 10/06/00 09:47 PM
hmmm... difficult, but not impossible.

when I were a lad, we had a dog, a setter, named Mao and my baby sister had a lop-eared rabbit named Oarl. Mao was as gentle as the proverbial lamb, except that he would tear a rabbit a new ear-hole given the chance. well, one day the rabbit ran and sis came home in tears, screaming:
"Mao tear Oarl's ear!"


Posted By: Max Quordlepleen Re: Max's revanche - 10/06/00 11:34 PM
Well done, tsuwm. Since NZ's largest city is known as "The City of Sails", and in keeping with NZ's nautical heritage, I have decided to award line honours to tsuwm. The overall winner will still be decided at sennight's end. Tsuwm's prize is available here:
http://www.driveway.com/share?sid=9f78513f.cfaaa&name=prizes&view=0

The wordplay involved may be feeble, but it is in Ernest

Posted By: RhubarbCommando Re Aotearoa - 10/07/00 03:21 PM
As 'orrible curses may give you a 'ot ear, oaths should 'ardly hever be used.



Posted By: tsuwm Re: Re Aotearoa - 10/07/00 03:51 PM
City of Sails? coincidentally, when I was in the Philippines, I had a tamarao tear my genoa, nearly goring our bull. 8-)


Posted By: tsuwm Re: Max's revanche - 10/07/00 06:57 PM
>Tsuwm's prize

hmmm... two ends of a black belt... I'm... erm... speechless.

Posted By: Jackie Re: Re Aotearoa - 10/07/00 07:01 PM
When in Bilbao, tear oafishly through the town.

Posted By: Bingley Re: Re Aotearoa - 10/08/00 01:50 AM
Professor Wellington worked for the United Nations, and had a reputation for being something of an irascible chap. If there was one thing the good professor was very particular about it was his morning cup of cha. Now, you would think the Food and Agricultural Organisation would be able to provide a decent cuppa, wouldn't you, given their remit? Not a bit of it. As far as institutional beverages go, it really was the pits. So, Professor Wellington used to keep his own private supply of a really exquisite Lapsong Souchong in his office. One never-to-be-forgotten day, somebody had tampered with this nectar. The professor took one sip, and "FAO tea," roared he, in tones that shook the building to its foundations.

Bingley
Posted By: Max Quordlepleen A Poem for tsuwm Re: Max's revanche - 10/08/00 01:56 AM
Ask not for whom the belthole's,
The belthole's for thee


Posted By: Bridget Aotearoa - 10/08/00 09:37 AM
It is a little-known fact of modern history, but once Mao Zedong and his troops had finished the Long March and settled in Yenan, North China, the Great Statesman was not happy. He missed the locally brewed tea of his childhood, missed it so badly that in fact one chill winter morning he got up and without even waiting to put on his red star cap set off back to his native village of Shaoshun. Fortunately, the Nationalists were by now in retreat, so his path was more direct than the Long March, but it was still long. At last, he reached his childhood village and was able to enjoy the particular earthy tea. He supped two cups, smacked his lips and set off back to Yenan to lead the Revolution.

His colleagues were awed by the great man's determination and persistence in undertaking a second long trek, but he insisted they keep it secret. It was only after his death that they were able to tell the story and establish commemorative signs at key points along the road he had taken.

The Mao Tea Road was famous for a brief while, but alas, like the man himself, it has fallen into relative obscurity. The signs have been lost, chopped down or worn away. Visiting China a few years ago, the only relic I could find of this fascinating trip was a worn piece of board, ragged at both ends, reading '..AO TEA ROA..'

Posted By: Bridget Re: Aotearoa - 10/08/00 09:40 AM
Alternatively, do you know about the man who went for a swim and got washed out to sea? As he watched the land receding, he could see a fisherman in his dinghy, floating at anchor between him and the coast.

'Hey!' he called. 'Hey!'

The fisherman looked round, confused.

'Hey!' the swimmer called again. 'Out 'ere, rower!'

Posted By: tsuwm Re: Aotearoa - 10/08/00 12:07 PM
:^D
Bridget, to coin a word, those were logostellar!

Posted By: Max Quordlepleen Re: Aotearoa - 10/08/00 06:35 PM
'Hey!' the swimmer called again. 'Out 'ere, rower!'

Magnifique! With your Jazzoctopus-like contribution as well, I have to say that you're currently leading the fleet in the race for overall honours.



Posted By: Bridget Re: Aotearoa - 10/09/00 09:41 AM

(not sure what else to say....)

Posted By: RhubarbCommando A Poem for tsuwm Re: Max's revanche - 10/09/00 11:51 AM
Ask not for whom the belthole's,
The belthole's for thee


At the risk of diminishing you all if this one dies the death, I have to say

"Well Donne."


With the sennight up, Max's revanche concludes. The overall winner may collect her prize here:
http://www.driveway.com/share?sid=9f78513f.cfaaa&name=prizes&view=0

If the rebus seems tautological, please forgive me.


Posted By: AnnaStrophic Metaphysical - 10/14/00 01:12 AM
"Well Donne."

Rhub, I've seen this thrice and am still chortling in my glee.

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