A mechanic who worked out of his home had a dog named Mace.

Mace had a bad habit of eating all the grass on the echanic's lawn, so the mechanic had to keep Mace inside.
The grass eventually became overgrown.

One day the mechanic was working on a car in the backyard and dropped his wrench, losing it in the tall grass. He could not find it for the life of him, so he decided to call it a day.

That night, Mace escaped from the house and ate all the grass in the backyard. The next morning the mechanic went outside and saw his wrench glinting in the sunlight. Realizing what had happened he looked toward the heavens and proclaimed.




"A grazing Mace, how sweet the hound, that saved a wrench for me!"

if I didn't know better, I'd have thought this was TEd...

Ok, dear of troy, I'll play your game of "Can You Top This"
(Mmmm, sounds like a good name for a radio show)

Ok, first of all of troy, the wrench wasn't a wrench but a welch, a welchman who was the radio operator for a space fleet of Earthlings on a search and destroy mission to protect Earth from invaders. Our message of search and destroy was misunderstood by the Jupiterians who destroyed our entire fleet except for Mayes the welchman, who sent this message...

"Uh...Mays in space, our fleet is down, come save a welsh like me."

Base earth replied: How do we know it is you, Mays, use your early twentieth century poet or composer password or we will blast you out of your non-existent sky.
So Mays who had been in space many many years replied in sing song...

Well once I was Frost, but now I'm Pound, was Stein and Debussy.

Sometimes I hate myself too. -