Tsuwm's Q & A post, plus a recent weekly theme gave me this idea, which I hope will lead to some good laughs:
What are some things you do NOT want to hear
in the operating room?
"Oops".
"Does that organ look like a pink elephant to you, too?"
"delirium tremens?" yeah... I... uh... l-learned th-that t-term in m-med school"
What did you say this patient's name was?
Bingley
"Sancho, now don't tell me this is a windmill... chaaarge!"
"Was that the right or the left?"
I'm sorry, will someone please remind me whether we're changing this woman into a man or this man into a woman?
Who's turn is it for a donut run?
"why does that monitor keep flashing "ILLEGAL OPERATION"?
"Fastest organ rejection I've ever seen. Someone want to scrape it off the ceiling?"
"Oooo. . .look what happens when I squeeze this part."
"Doctor... why is there blood on your mouth?"
"Put this on the doggy bag"
Juan Maria.
"Wow, I didn't know that color existed."
Has anyone seen my chewing gum?
No, no! I said, "first remove his _spectacles_"
Nurse,put down that boiling water. I told you to prick his boil!
The doctor dancing and singing to his favorite tune, "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."
"Get that cat/mouse/bird out of here."
Inspired by a snippet in yesterday's paper about a cat that had wandered into the air shafts of a hospital in Athens and fell out onto a patient on the operating table.
Bingley
(over the loudspeaker): "The surgeon is urgently requested to remove his car from the emergency entrance"
"Oh no! I lost my contact lens!"