Maybe I should put this here. Few may see it where I posted first (over in Information and Announcements), and I think it's funny...

SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT!

University physicists have recently discovered the heaviest element known to science. The element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 15 assistant neutrons, 70 vice-neutrons, and 161 assistant vice-neutrons. This gives it an atomic mess (sic) of 247. These 247 particles are held together in the nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons. Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction with which it comes in contact. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium added to one reaction caused it to take over four days to complete. Without the Administratium the reaction occurred in less than one second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. Studies seem to show the atomic number actually increasing after each reorganization.
Research indicates that Administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate in certain locations such as government agencies, large corporations, and universities. It can usually be found in the newest, best appointed, and best maintained buildings.
Scientists warn that Administratium is known to be toxic, and recommend plenty of fluids and bed rest after even low levels of exposure.

I'm sorry I don't know who penned this...

University physicists have recently discovered

Administerium is particularly prevalent in universities. It would have been long since discovered, but of course its mere presence slowed the discovery process to a near standstill.

Hopefully you are not about to disrobe online!

Literally, some of them needed a pencil and paper to calculate: The patient needs 500 mg. Each pill contains 250 mg. How many pills will you give?

That is a really scary thought! It's like the kids who work at a fast food place. Your bill is $9.27 and you hand him a $10.00 and while you are digging for two pennies, they punch in just the $10.00 and insist giving you $.73 change because that's what the machine says to give you. Tried handing the kid the two pennies one time and he had no idea why!

Ahhh, no, my friend. That would be disdressing!

Ahhh, no, my dear. That would be a-peeling.

Right! You try to make it easy on both of you, and suddenly the problem is hard! I suppose this one is too old to be of interest, but...

Do you know what the communications major said to the math major?

(I'm sorry if I might have seen a version of this somewhere in AWADtalk... I don't remember...)

Robert

Do you know what the communications major said to the math major?

ungghhh.....Racking (wracking? help!) my brain here and just cain't come up with a thing. Please don't keep me in suspense!

Do you like Kipling?
I don't know, I've never kippled.

Would you like fries with that sir/ma'am?

(Definitely don't give him a five and two pennies to pay a $4.52 bill!)

Robert

Ever hear of the rare metal, Unobtanium? It's the physical equivalent of vaporware.

Would you like fries with that sir/ma'am?

This reminds me of my uni days (yes, halcyon ones at that) where toilet graffiti written above the roll of toilet paper read: "Arts degrees - Please take one"

toilet graffiti written above the roll of toilet
paper read: "Arts degrees - Please take one"

At Portland State University, some people took to writing in the grout between the tiles in some men's toilets such slogans as,"Grout Expectations," "The grout wall of China," "No grout about it," "The Grout Gatsby," "Groutcho Marx," etc. I found that reading them assisted my using the facility for its intended purpose greatly!

[blueWould you like fries with that sir/ma'am?

AAUUGH! I shoulda known.

It now looks as though we have the beginnings of a graffiti thread here. Anyone want to post such an animal? or maybe I will.....it's just.....my threads seem a little.....threadbare, these days.....! O what the hell. Here I go.

In a major Northeastern university, which shall remain nameless unless of course you know the territory, undergraduates generally use the John D Rockerfeller Library. Or at least they did so before computers were so rampant. It was thus common for arrangements to be made to "meet you at the Rock."

The Administration didn't approve. Disrespectful, they said. And so a decree went out that the aforementioned Library should not be referred to as "the Rock" any more.

And so it came to pass. The undergraduates obligingly changed their custom, and instead arranged, "I'll meet you at the John."

Needless to say, the Decree was quickly rescinded.

Is that how bathrooms started being called johns?

They started calling them johns in loo of calling them Crappers.