Spam Haiku - Wordsmith.org

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I'm re-posting this as a new thread here on "Wordplay and Fun" for those who may be bypassing the "issues" threads...it's just too good to be missed!

Spam Haiku

http://pemtropics.mit.edu/~jcho/spam/10101-10200.html
This is strange, funny stuff...don't miss it!

Here's the Spam Haiku Archives Homepage (they literally have tens of thousands of these
things, and you can submit!)

http://pemtropics.mit.edu/~jcho/spam/archive.html

My favorite was #10115 on the page link. LOL!

For more information about real Spam check out
http://www.spam.com
You can even buy Spam T-shirts at the site!!

That is too funny, WO'N! Thanks for the laffs... (I wonder if there's a place out there for spam limericks?)

a hobo, my house came by
as i was giving dinner a fry.
"would you like some spam?
"No, thank you ma'am,
of starvation, i'd rather die!"

Beautiful, Helen. Inspired... and so, so anastrophic!

spam? ... i'd rather die!

Ave Helen! We who are about to diet salute you!

Might as well keep all the Spam links together!

Spam Town Museum

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/MNAUSspam.html

Spam Jam, Spam Five-Mile Run

http://www.raceberryjam.com/spamjam.html

Slammin' Spammy (photo)

http://www.486th.org/Photos/Aircraft/Slammin.htm

Great, Helen! Thanks for breaking the ice with an original!

Now, I requested a Spam/Mushroom Haiku from someone special, but I'm not naming any names!

I await in eager anticipation! (ahem)

Well, I can't encourage without participating, so here goes nothin'. Not claiming any literary merit here, folks, and tryin' to stick to the 5-7-5 form just for the hell of it!

1.
No ham from a can
Can clutter-up my E-mail,
So SPAM me, baby!

2. John Birch SPAM

The world, I'm afraid,
Is a big Spammunist plot--
Ain't sure about YOU!

AWAD SPAMku

1.
SPAM ain't really ham,
Pork loin is more the like it--
CapK could tell ya!

2.
Deftly borne by Max,
This site charts our twists and turns--
Spamawadabilia!

3.
Stranger's a-knockin',
Here comes the Welcome Wagon--
Jackie's SPAMbasket!

4.
No SPAM Word.A.Day,
Far too obvious, too sure--
The word got canned.

5.
SPAM's word history,
A ham from Minnesota--
In tsuwm's backyard.

6.
No can can hold it,
This SPAM a true maverick--
One in ev'ry batch!

7.
Wow! look at this ham!
Like a flagless field of gloom--
The Boston SPAMsox.

I love you, wow

8.
These scholarly fronds
Of ham, high in Bingley's breeze--
Our tropical SPAM.

--all kus by WO'N I wouldn't dare put Walt or Eugene's name on something I wrote

OK!...let 'em fly! If I can give it out, I can take it!

And, of course, all duplications of AWAD characters or topics are welcome!
Any resemblance to anyone here purely intentional.
AND I'm expectin' a N.Y. Yankeeku form you, wow!

Mushrooms hot in pan
Eggs beaten light and frothy
Damn! No ham. Just Spam.

And, of course, all duplications of AWAD characters or topics are welcome!
Any resemblance to anyone here purely intentional.

Okey dokey... you asked:

Like a bad train wreck
keeps grabbing my attention
all those "issues" posts

wish I didn't look
harsh words make me very sad
should enjoy the Board

it's about the words
here to learn from each other
have fun on the way

On a lighter note...

stales and doc_comfort
hev and paulb, are here to
give those Kiwis stick

Oh, I know, I know ... I'm asking for it.

Hev

1.
SPAM ain't really ham,
Pork loin is more the like it--
CapK could tell ya!

I grok well-scanned ham
Walt reels it off merrily
The sky is bright blue ...

The fats in the fire
The flames grow higher
give a look,
ask the cook,
Is it Spam? or is it a liar?

The menu at the Spam Caf�
where Spam is the special of the day
Cold from can
or fried up in the pan,
It's spam, spam, spam, spam, spam every way!

(note-I know from the East Enders that some of the poster here read cafeto rhyme with laugh, but here, in US, it is often rhymed with weigh, day.

Mushrooms hot in pan
Eggs beaten light and frothy
Damn! No ham. Just Spam.

Hamless! Spamless!
Eggless! Damnless!
That's okay...
Just save the 'shrooms for me!
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

1)
Food, my greatest love,
Awakes in me a fire, but
My flame is not SPAM

2)
Rhubarb is cover'd,
At my Command, over with
Dung or with custard

Dung or with custard

ewwwwww! Sparteye, *please reassure me Rhuby is not attached to the Catering Corpse at Wordapalooka!? [notwink]

Born in a caf�
My very core is stricken!
Serve SPAM at the wake?

Wake me when it's done!
My rhubarb needs madeira:
Nothing tastes so sweet.

Madeira on earth?
Keep libations for the gods,
Not to grow Rhubarb!

Custard is neater
But brown sugar's far sweeter:
Join the elite, or...!

1)
Threaten me, fellow?
Do your worst! And blow your pipe
There until you burst!

2)
Madeira, Hamelin,
Far apart: held together
By a rhubarb tart.

EDIT: The tart's not done yet, but it is Browning

Dung or with custard

[rethinking-Rhu's-membership-on-the-supplies-committee emoticon]

Dung or with custard

It occurs to me that the schoolboy joke on which that Haiku was based may well be unknown on your fair shores. It is told thus:

There was once a man with a wheelbarrow full of manure, heading towards his vegetable garden where the contents of the barrow were intended for the enrichment of the soil. His road took him past an institution for those with special educational needs. (in the days that the story was first related, this was known as "the loony bin! )
An inmate of said institution, leaning over the wall, asked the man, "What's that for?"
"I am a-going," said the man, "to put this barrow-load on my rhubarb."
"Cor!!" said the inmate, "It's you lot out there who're mad - we have custard on ours in here!"

Catering Corpse at Wordapalooka!? (emphasis mine)

If that's who you've got doin' the cookin' I'm glad I ain't gonna be there...

Hev

Hate SPAM? Just say NO!
No, no, no, no, no, no, NO!
Absolutely NOT!

SPAM is best when fried
Pink slices dipped in batter
Then in hot fat -Yummm!

SPAM is best when fried
No, no, no, no, no, no, NO!
Absolutely NOT!

(Thanks, GallantCommando)