Professional tennis player: Anna Smashnova.

http://cbs.sportsline.com/u/tennis/wta/players/201720.htm

Must be a stepdaughter to Mr. Hackenslash, the barber.

Professional hockey player: Steve Passmore
Professional basketball player: Tim Duncan
http://www.sportsline.com/u/hockey/nhl/players/20071.htm
http://www.sportsline.com/u/basketball/nba/players/6552.htm

Jim Kiick...former Miami Dolphins star.

Ryan Longwell, who kicks field goals for the Green Bay Packers
http://www.sportsline.com/u/football/nfl/players/POS_K_index.htm

Todd Eldredge, on the Olympic team (with the teenagers) again at the grand old age of 30!

ageist? at the Olympic level? like I said, he joins a team full of teen-and-twenty-year-olds. the only person older is one of the ice-dancers. Michele Kwan is a veteran of 21.

And you can't deny that he's eldr than the rest of them.

>an attempt at a pun

whew, it's a good thing you tol... wait, I *still don't get it.

max, I guess it's my old mind that's on edge... and eldritch is a word of which I'm very fond.

This may be the only sports site in the entire universe where such a pun might fit!

Hey, Max! I got it right off the bat. Just thought I'd let you know somebody did.

>I got it right off the bat

I thought it was sticks for ice-hockey.

Bingley

I thought it was sticks for ice-hockey.
ROFL! You fun-nee, mon. And that reminds me of Pokemon, the Jamaican proctologist...(hi, wofa)

I don't want to spoil anyone's congratulations, but wasn't tsuwm's original post supposed to be a pun. The thread was focused on aptronyms, so his use of Eldredge among teenagers was a punny aptronym from the start, right? Not to slight Max, but wasn't he just using the same pun?

Or I'm missing something completely . . .

...wasn't tsuwm's original post supposed to be a pun.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that.

tsuwm gets one point for pun on age.
Max gets one point for pun on weirdness.

Okey-dokey?

Okey-dokey?

Yepski. So does Max get bonus points or negative points for being so darn confusing? No offence intended.

TEd! Get in here! We need you!

I saw it originally, but forgot to award tsuwm one more point for the use of edge.

it's like i've always said: puns is worthless if'n you have to 'splain them. deduct two points from max and I, each.
- joe (p. leo) nazm

deduct two points from max and I
deduct from whom?

puns is worthless if'n you have to 'splain them
You didn't have to: some of us (well, some of them, actually) got them. No deduction; well done!

Arguing over points awarded for a pun is like arguing over runs scored on a foul ball.

I say, Off with their heads, then![regal smirk-e]

I see no point in continuing. Must disagree, Max.
I see no con in verbal counter-point, only pros.

I see no point in continuing.
No, no, no, Max--you MUST continue--you just said so, yourself: you won't get any points if you don't.

Distance runner (and running columnist): Dick Miles

I've just been watching a Canadian TV documentary which was edited by Kate Amend.

The first Afican in space is going to be Mark Shuttleworth.
http://www.spaceadventures.com/press/120501.html
(Thanks again, CK.)

Tiger WOODS - golfer

stales

Movie actor : Robert Dishey

How about Dr. I. Needles, dentist (Manhattan, around 28th Street and Second-or-Third Avenue, 1964-plus-or-minus 2)

(leads to a whole subthread of medical aptronyms, probably already in a long-ish list somewhere if anyone wants to chase it down)

Is there such a thing as an inaptronym? {Post-edit: mav, thanks for the answer. }

In today's Superbowl, the starting left tackle for the Patriots' offense will be a 305-pound gentleman named Matt Light.

http://wordsmith.org/board/showflat.pl?Cat=&Board=words&Number=29110&page=&view=&sb=&vc=1

...today's Superbowl...

Is today the Superbowl?

Who would have believed that Jackie would post five times in a sports thread??? ROTFL

Excuse me--this is an aptronym thread. An astronaut is not a sports figure!

hmmmmmm ... first she's in the gutter [in a non-constabulatory role]; then she's commenting about sports ...

OK, who are you, and what have you done with Jackie??!!

Leave Hedwig out of this!

(that's Harry Potter's Hedwig)

Been wracking my brains for ages for a sport aptronym and got one!

Gaelic Football team: Ballymun Kickhams!

British racehorse jockey:- Frank Dobbin