Here, just as I received them, are the definitions I received. I also added somewhere in the list the real definition and a couple I added just to spice things up. I'm going to be away from 12/28 through 1/11, so I am giving the whole three weeks for voting. I am absolutely amazed at the inventiveness of the people who put in entries. I know which one is correct, and a couple of the bluff definitions are so good they even fooled me!!!

1. sedgwick n. a remorphemization of sedgewidgeon (Anas acicularis), a common surface feeding duck that nests in the region of the lower Danube.

2. A certain type of golf club.

3. [obs] a derisory term which was applied to a district over which a petty official's jurisdiction extended that to all appearances was merely swampland.

4. A small wooden bolt, usually with right-hand threads, commonly used to fasten a knob to a drawer front. Most often found with a slotted head that accepts a regular screwdriver, though occasionally found with slots for a Phillips screwdriver.

5. The one atom that is the exact center of the earth's core.

6. This is not a "real" word, but a made up one, taken from a manufacturer's catalogue. w-i-k (most certainly without a "c") stands for "water injection kit" and the Sedgwik ™™is a well-known (within the trade, that is) device for promoting the growth of sedge reeds in and around ponds where sewage is recycled. In wet areas, such a device is unnecessary, of course, but the process of natural, environmentally sound purification of water is now being extended to places with low rainfall - in particular, some of the areas of Scandinavia where the majority of water falls as snow. It is in these (and parts of Turkey, I believe) that the Sedgewik ™™ is in use.

7. A small African antelope, named for the Dutch naturalist who first described it, Jan Sedgwik (1820-1892).

8. Sedgwik: a moss which grows chiefly on rocky or barren spots.

9. a new born, often translucent, tadpole

10. The only hybrid crop hardy enough to survive cultivation in the Earth's depleted soil supply; from the Samuel Butler's classic 1872 social satire, Erewhon.

11. Sedgwik: A mocking reference in CIA circles to the heavy handed and clumsy bulgarian spies planted in the states during the cold war. The Bulgarian spies were all identified and bugged but the CIA couldn't decipher their continual use of the phrase "I must call Sedgwik". Finally an agent dialed SEDGWIK,(733-4945)on his touch tone phone and reached the Bulgarian Embassy in Washington DC. Tom Clancy used the phrase in his book "The Hunt For Red October"

12. A specific computer error from the early days of computing, created when one end of a wire on a breadboard was erroneously plugged into a socket too close to the other end, resulting in garbled information that one IBM engineer said reminded him of the maunderings of his mother-in-law, Irenia Sedgwik.

13. A plumbing device that limits the amount of water consumed during a flushing of a toilet or urinal; not commonly used in the home, but most commonly found in commercial use in areas where water is so expensive that the use of the Sedgwik is cost-effective.

Wow, 4 days an ain't no one voted yet.

I think I'll go with number 9, 'caus it looks fine.

And TEd, are you sure the rules allow you to add more than one misleading definition of your own? tsuwm?

Rules? pffffft! Don' make me say "We don' need no steenkin' rules!

I think the correct extension could well be 11

I'm not sayin' whether or not I read the book, but why waste a vote? Number 10.

I got it. Why, other people might ask, did TEd list the answers by numerals rather than letters as has always been done? The answer is; this is a quiz of math, not of letters. TEd said he will be gone thirteen days, leaving us with thirteen answers to ponder. Coincidence? Sum the numbers 1 through 13, you get 91. divide 91 by thirteen and you get seven. And so the correct answer is seven, (the one about the african antelope).

Need further proof? How many letters are in seven? Five. Answer number five refers to the atom at the middle of the earth. The word sedgwik has seven letters and at the exact middle of the word is the letter G, which is the seventh letter of the alphabet. The seventh position of G is six letters below and six letters above the middle position of Remington's list.
I'm overcome. This is so... so.. eloquent.
The answer is seven.
Milum.

I like Milum's logic, therefore I vote for 13.

I think teD put in *more than two -- well, as a paid-up member of the rules committee, I'd say that we'll just have to devide his multitudinous points by the number of bogus entries he put in.

oh, by the way, I vote for bogus entry #3 (three).

I think they should all be correct! And I want to vote for mine so I'll get a credit, but that's not sporting.

So (unless I'm cheating), I vote for #9, #9, #9. I hope that's the right one 'cause I like thinking about little floating transparent tadpoles, little navicular groups of sedgwiks dreaming of the day of the Great Leap!

Dub

I agree they should all win,but given that I know that a "sedge" is a waterside or marsh plant I Have got to go for No.9 too

the Duncster

7. The rest are either not enough like actual definitions, or I know that they're wrong.

[throwing dart]

7

[/throwing dart]

10, thank you!

Answers 13 and 6 have a lot in common and may well be connected - even plumbed together. But 6 is a bit too good to be true, so I vote for
13

Just a stab in the dark,

Is this anything like a shot in the dark? OOOOOPS, wrong thread..tee hee.

I can tink of no-one who would say "shot in the dark," they would all say, if they used it at all, "stab in the dark."

In my circles, they would say either "shot in the dark" or "take a stab at it." Never "stab in the dark."

I don't know about the rest of you but I have no intention of sitting around bored, waiting for TEd to bring his cute butt back from whatever dalliance he saw fit to undertake, rather I shall utilize my skills as a pscholingualanalyst and systematically uncover the author of each bogus post. When and if Quizmaster TEd returns he will return to a Hogwash resolved, where all the players have awarded their ownselves points. Let us begin with entry #1.

We pscholingualanalysts have a saying, "The writings of the female are as translucent as a newborn tadpole." we say. Look closely at entry #1.
a surface feeding duck that nests in the region of the lower (beautiful, blue, implied) Danube. Zounds! This isn't a definition, this is high poetry. Such imagery. The white ducks swimming by the red wheelbarrow...er, I mean, swimming in the beautiful blue implied Danube River.
a remorphemization of sedgewidgeon (anas acicularis)Say this line aloud. Now say it again. Now sing it. This is a line that demands to be sung. Perfect; meter and rhythm with only a hint of meaning, ahhh.
Sedgwick: This spelling of sedgwik is an artistic statement. No one, I repeat TEd, no one should tell a poet how to spell.

Tommorrow: Entry # 2.

POST EDIT: Nevermind. Andy just walked in and told me he had heard the National Public Radio broadcast of the Vienna orchestra's annual New Years Day Salute to The Waltzes of Strauss. In keep with tradition they concluded the program with " The Blue Danube Waltz". They mentioned the sedgwick duck. Oh well...

Dear Milum,

Poets should always have you out there hearing them. You have the ear of an ideal audience, rare, awake, and wonderful, wonderful. You must sometimes have great times in the dictionary, I would guess.

Best regards,
DubDub, an appreciative audience of your critique

These are all far too silly. I don't believe any of them. I'll vote for 11, though, as the most ludicrous.

#3, pls

Caradea, Bless you, have you lost your swinging mind?
Tony.

Mil-um,
Ummm. I think you forgot to analyse the answers and TEd will be back any day now!!!!!! I did so want to see if you could guess which was me[tee hee].

2. balderdash (n.): a rapidly receding hairline

Is this why a certain someone changed the name of the game to Hogwash®?

Why Consuelo, I thought you knew? Everyone and their brother knows that you wrote...

9. a new born, often translucent, tadpole.

You are, if anything, pithy and succinct. But you are also sensitive to the plight of nature's innocent, little, creatures, while some of the other broads on this board think of tadpoles as bait.

Milum.

PS: Don't be fooled by Number seven. It was written by TEd Remmington writing as a woman.

PPS: Rules, Pfffffft! At this time I would like to change my vote to Number twelve (#12). Thank you, -Milum.

well, if I were counting these votes (and who knows), milum would have just been disqualified for an overballot!

Naw, I'll vouch for him. His chads are hanging. Or at least dimpled.

Naw, I'll vouch for him. His chads are hanging. Or at least dimpled.

Thank you, Consuelo, I thank you for your vouchment and my feminine side and my masculine side thank you for your comments on my chads.
But you do understand that tsuwm is in a quandary. He cannot now cast his vote for the correct # 12, this ruse would be obvious to all who see. On the other hand he cannot refuse to vote, this would be obvious even to those who can't see.
But let's not waste brain cells on poor tsuwm's plight. Anyone thirty points above the field can work the Hogwash rules with the best of 'em.

Milum.

>tsuwm's plight

thank you for your concern, mileage, but I've already voted for yet another incorrect answer; as a matter of fact (hi joe!) it was the selfsame wrong answer as voted for by caradea (Hi C). also, I think it's prolly only the lower echelons (hi milum!!) that trail by thirty or forty.

2. balderdash (n.): a rapidly receding hairline

Is this why a certain someone changed the name of the game to Hogwash®?

The present progressive term cannot apply to tsuwm.

The present progressive term cannot apply to tsuwm.

Ouch, Sparteye!...naming names are we? Never had you figured in with Elia Kazan and Burl Ives!

Nor does said term apply to me. Who could we apply it to, hmmmm? I can think of at least one old hand.Hi you-know-who-you-are!

OK, gentlepersons, I am back. The correct answer is number 4, a small wooden bolt used to fasten a knob to the front of a drawer. I ran across it several months ago and thought, gosh, no one will guess that one.

Here's the web site:

http://www.rockler.com/ecom7/showdetl.cfm?&DID=6&offerings_ID=5259&ObjectGroup_ID=132&CATID=41

I will try to post the votes along with revealing who had written which definitions today or tomorrow, but it's quite hectic here. We got home late yesterday afternoon after freezing in Florida for two weeks and Peggy has an axillary temperature of 102.7, so I have all the laundry, kid-wrangling, etc. And the brakes are out on her car :(.

I am GLAD to be back. There are over 1200 new messages on the board, so I will have to just trash some of them. Any ideas on which threads to read?

TEd

Welcome back, TEd. Boy, am I glad I'm not you today! You know you let yourself in for it by asking for recommendations from this bunch, don't you? Mine will be the fair warning. I'll let the rest flood you with recommendations.

. TEd .
Thank heavens you're back. I have written this message in white because there are those out there who wish you ill will. Your car had hardly reached second gear when these people began calling you every name in the phone book and, in general, scandalizing your good name. They called you a bad Hogwashmaster. And when I tried to change my vote to #4 they told me to shut up. I think that you are the best Hogwashmaster that ever lived. Thank heavens you are back. Only you can rectify their wrongs by the judicious awarding of points. Milum.

Ouch, Sparteye!...naming names are we?

Golly, why not? I think bare pates are sexy....

I'm with you if they are natural. I don't much care for the shaved heads tho' i don't know why that should make a difference, but naturally bald has a naturally soft feel. Yeah. That's what it is.

I think bare pates are sexy....

Hmm, really?...And just exactly what is it about naked paste that turns you on? okay, so what's one circumflex accent, more or less?

Reminds me of the two mothers of teenaged girls commiserating with one another. The conversation ended when one of them said, "I guess I'll never understand these kids and their weird hair styles. Just the other night I heard Jennifer telling a friend of hers on the phone that she wanted to be bald when she was 16."