In typing an e-mail to a friend, I said it was "as cold as a wet pecker in a sleet storm at a nudist colony". Let's see some better comparisons[I dare you-e]

Well, one of the women I worked with in Wellington used to say that "it was cold enough to freeze your tits off" to anyone who might be within earshot as she unravelled herself from her overcoat and scarf. Will that do?

Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.

So cold the words froze in the air and we had to melt them in a hot frying pan to hear what we'd said.

Cold as a witch's tit.
Cold as a mother-in-law's glare.

Cold as a Landlord's heart

It had to be a really dedicated nudist colony to stay out in a sleet storm. The idea of sleet scoring billiards is too painful to contemplate.

Cold as a stepmother's kiss.

http://www.zoomnet.net/~petecol/service.html#sam

Thanks for the poetry link, Geoff. I've heard that poem done at Stone Circle and everyone comes in a little closer to the fire for that one. So, are we going to get a little more creative, people? Doesn't anyone do dares around this place?

It obviously doesn't get cold enough in your neck of the woods if you have breath enough to come up with expressions .

Here, it gets so bad in the winter that the only thing we can say is it's F****** freezing. (A bit of Frenchy slang for you: y fa frette en estie)

I grew up in North Dakota. it got so cold there that Superman froze his S off. I got cold in places I didn't even know I had. it gets so cold you don't need a cup for coffee -- you just carry around a chunk of it. it's not uncommon to see sun dogs out on the plains in midwinter; Mandan legend has it that the sun lights little fires on each side of itself to stay warm. it's so cold that the snow doesn't melt until August, giving about two weeks before the snow starts to fly again.

and, finally, it's so cold in the winter that the funeral homes stockpile bodies and wait until the earth thaws to dig the graves. other places welcome spring by dancing around a Maypole; in North Dakota they have lots of burials.

Then there is Wyoming, USA, where it is so cold the snow never melts, it just blows around until it wears out!

cold as a wet pecker in a sleet storm

Hey, Consuelo, you're a woman, right? So what do you REALLY know about frozen peckers?

I've seen it so cold the sun had in icicle halo around it. (ice in the atmosphere giving a really strange look to the sun) Anybody remember the actual name for this phenomenon?

I've seen it so cold the sun had in icicle halo around it... Anybody remember the actual name for this phenomenon


Those are sundogs. I grew up spending much time on a sailboat, and my dad always said "A dog in the morning, sailor take warning; a dog in the night is a sailor's delight." High haze condenses and forms ice crystals, which are refracted forming a halo around the sun.

EDIT Hmm, I just looked it up and one source says the halos are actually called "parihelic circles" and the sundogs are smaller "dots" which occur just outside of the ring. Learn something new everyday

I know a cold damp one in the small of my back is damn uncomfortable and hard to find

OH MY GAWD!!!!

Consuelo, welcome to the gutter. I'll just move over on the couch and let you plop on down beside me. Sit, we'll talk

What was that expression again, hmm, oh ya...

A good man may be hard to find but a hard man is good to find.

Alicia Keys, coincidentally on the CD right now:
and a real man knows a real woman, when he sees her,
and a real woman knows a real man ain't afraid to please her,
and a real woman knows a real man always comes first,
and a real man just can't deny a real woman's worth ... a woman's worth

Oh, Ah am stayin' OUT o' this!! Shove over, bel and C.!

a cold damp one in the small of my back is damn uncomfortable and hard to find

Well, I do humbly suggest that your partner stiffen his resolve to find a warmer place to put it.

Geoff, Consuelo was (ahem) responding to your post about frozen peckers. So stiffness should not be a problem.

Said the young and alert Widow Brice,
Who kept her late husband on ice,
"It's been hard since I lost him.
I'll never defrost him!"
Cold comfort, but cheap at the price.

Besides, we weren't discussing how to thaw one out. I haven't lost one to frostbite yet!

Tom Waits, one of my favorite references for clever turns of phrase, describes being "colder than a well-digger's ass."

> I know a cold damp one in the small of my back is damn uncomfortable and hard to find

My woodie's outside, covered with snow
New York's a lonely town
When you're the only surfer boy around.

But, Consuelo, always remember it's the thawed that counts.

There was a young man named Dickel,
Whose tool was a little icicle,
His wife was so frigid
It always stayed rigid,
and as cold and hard as a nickel.

His younger brother Todd is even better than he is as a solo, but together they have done a great album called "For No Man"

 

Taters.

Usage: "Eee, it's right taters out there".

Derivation: (Yokel accent) "Arrrrr, there'll be a frost on yer taters tonight".

Hung like a Tic Tac hey consuelo?

stales

Where's Bean when you need her? There's gotta be some great Newfie sayings on this subject.

Bean.....Oh Bean.......??

stales

Cold as a cast-iron commode on the shady side of an iceberg.
Editing previous post, on newly-found authority:
Colder than a witch's tit in a cast-iron bra.

"Eee, it's right taters out there".
Derivation: (Yokel accent) "Arrrrr, there'll be a frost on yer taters tonight".

I always understood that "taters" came from Cockney rhyming slang "taters in the mold"=cold. "'taters"=Hippo*potatoes and "mold"= (in this context) soil or a heaped bank of soil, good for growing and pulling new potatoes, but before this descends (or ascends depending on your life view) into a food thread I move on to:

Last night's Who Wants to be a Millionaire had a question on "Which biblical character is the name of a shark in Australia?". I worked out it was probably Noah from rhyming slang - Noah's Ark = Shark which was correct. Which in turn leads to:

The same program started with a recall. A few months previously, a guy had been on £32,000 (GBP) which is a guarantee point in UK. His £64,000 question was: "What was Richard Sheridan's middle name?" and from (for example) Brinsley, Burroughs, Barnaby, Butler he guessed (nothing to lose) Butler. The computer said incorrect, should have chosen Brinsley and he went away happy with 32K. But, (as WE all know, right?) Sheridan also had a middle name of Butler. Several viewers pointed this out so he was recalled, starting at 64K. He then refused to answer the next question and went home with 64K.

*To follow up on paulb's mention of Flanders and Swann (on which I was raised) you might like to look at:
http://sniff.numachi.com/~rickheit/dtrad/lookup.cgi?ti=GLORIMUD&tt=GLORIMUD

I always understood that "taters" came from Cockney rhyming slang

That's a new one on me. The phrase "taters in the mould" sounds a bit long for Cockney slang, which is usually one or two words, excluding connecting word (which is usually unstressed): "Boat Race", "Plates'a (of) Meat", "Trouble'n (and) Strife". It doesn't seem to have the right rhythm, either. Still, you could be right - I'm no expert on these matters.

Okay, we've just had a foot of cold, wet, snowman-making snow and it's really cold here. I ain't playin'. Wind chill factor=-3ºF So cold my hair has knitted itself into a blanket. Boy howdy, that trip to Florida is sounding better and better.

And I just got back from the frozen Rockies! I spent the last week in Yellowstone where I experienced 37 degrees below zero (farenheit) and loved every minute of it. (And that doesn't include the wind chill factor.) Trying to fire up that snowmobile at that temp was soooooooo much fun. Took many a pull and got all warmed up in doing so. Anyone who thinks snowmobiling is an easy sport, doesn't know how to do it!