dook revu

Posted By: mabbogtebby

dook revu - 05/14/06 04:30 PM

bear foaks
da vinci cobe
wot da f n f is dat adout anyways
i reb it 2 times meself u gnow dut i bibnt unberstanb a f n worb a it da 1st time
dut den gallanteb tolb me dat its ritten n a f n secret cobe
so I reb it agin dut dis time I reb it dackwarbs
& stanben on me heb 2 doot & den it mabe perfeck since 2 me

4 dem a u wats 2 tick 4 2 cop on ill now tell u wot da f its all adout
its adout a hunt 4 da holy gray ale & peeple do b murberen each
other & evrytin 4 2 finb it cos dey must have a fierce f n thirst
on dem r sumtin like dat
anyways dey enb up at da last supper 4 2 finb it
dut theres no room at da n 4 dem
cos ders alreby a loab a men and sum1s mrs der slurpen away
so dey have 2 go home witout getten a sup a dis magic gray ale

a corse the hole dooks a total f n hoax 4 sure
cos us tebby dears gnow xactly where da holy gray ale is
n fact im guzzlen sum now as i rite dis cos its deen hibben beep bown
n da cellers a slashers dar & grill 4 bonkys years
xactly where dat ban drown cant get his f n greeby & gruddy paws on it

b f n c n u l8r g8r

Posted By: Faldage

Re: dook revu - 05/14/06 05:57 PM

Hey Mad Dog. It's always good to see yer face around here from time to time. Keeps us reminded of the better things in life.
Posted By: GallantTed

Re: dook revu - 05/21/06 09:41 PM

Howye fokes! How is things? Me little pal, MadDogTed, is just beside himself with the response what he got ta last week’s explanation a the Da Vinci code. A course, I’m convinced meself that haff a ye is only sucken up ta him fer ta get a slurp a the Holy Gray Ale what’s been hidden beneath Slasher’s Bar fer years.

I’ll tell ye, the hole thing about Jesus haven a wife and kids is mind blowen fer sure, cos that would mean that he wasn’t the divine sona God at all – just one a his regular children like the resta us. And sure where would that leave society as we know it taday? Fer starters, the Easter Bunny and Santy would be outa job fer sure and would probably be sued ta boot fer unfair traden. And no more Furst Holy Commumion would mean no more junior fake tans, lip waxes, ringlets, fancy frocks, limos, helicopters, posh nosh do’s and all that sorta stuff. And that would just cripple the economy – not ta mention the Joneses and all whose soul purpose in life is to keep up with them. And the govermint would have ta introduce a amesty fer ta get back all the Commumion money from them cute misers what still have it.

The shamrock and St Patrick would have ta go too, ya know - cos it would be just the Father and the Holy Ghost. Unless, a course, it’s the Father, Son, Grandson and the Holy Ghost, in which case ya’d have ta go fer a four-leaved clover but then again that would only cover the furst 3 generations – unless ya were ta go fer a genetically modified clover and keep adden leaves as each new offspring was born. But then again genetic modification is totally against relegion. But on the other hand, it looks as if there no longer is any relegion. A course, if there was and ya were actually parta this divine bloodline and God was yer granddaddy, then ya'd really cash in on yer Holy Commumion day.

Lissen, I’m off fer a sup a that Holy Gray Ale before me confused little mind explodes alltagather.

Be seein ya

Posted By: Alex Williams

Re: dook revu - 05/22/06 12:23 PM

related reading (no pun intended)
Posted By: mabbogtebby

Re: dook revu - 05/22/06 09:45 PM

bear alex

so ur sayen not 2 b holben me dreath wen me dig bay comes
waiten 4 da dig huge check from up adove

b f n c n u l8r g8r

mabbogtebby X
Posted By: Alex Williams

Re: dook revu - 05/23/06 05:47 PM

Yes, but on the other hand, I'd be glad to buy you a pint or two should I ever have the pleasure of visiting Slasher's.
Posted By: GallantTed

Re: dook revu - 05/28/06 08:22 PM

Howye fokes! How is things? Me post bag is only bulgen with all yer letters and queries on the Jesus and Mary MacDillon affair – or lack thereof as the case may be. Anyways, I got one very interesten letter from a reader what signs herself as Just Wonderen, from Back the Road what writes:

Dear Ted

I read your column with great pleasure and interest every week and think it’s the best thing since the sliced unlevelled pan. Keep up the good work and I have to agree with you, that Goldilocks is a proper galloping trollop without a doubt… (and all that sorta stuff – she doesn’t quiet stop there but outa modesty I’ll get ta her pint quick – GTed).

Ted, the other day when the sun was shining for 5 minutes, I took my little Joseph to the seaside to give him a chance to play with his new bucket and spade. It was while he was digging happily in the sand that he found these very old looking papers that looked like parchment or something. On closer examination, much to my surprise, I discovered that I’m a product of this Divine Bloodline that everyone is talking about. Yes, Ted, I have the evidence to prove that I am indeed related to Jesus and Mary.

Now Ted, it doesn’t take a great mind to figure out that if I am related, then I’m entitled to an inheritance. So my question to you is, when Jesus died, rose again and then ascended into heaven - did that make Mary a widow or a deserted wife? I mean which allowance was she entitled to? And as I’ve no doubt that in those days it probably took years to sort such claims out, there’s a good chance that it was never resolved in her lifetime and now her descendents are entitled to all the back pay – with interest, of course.

So Ted, I’d be most grateful if you or any of your loyal readers could answer my query as soon as possible. Signed, Just Wondering, Back the Road.

Well, there ye have it fokes. Apply within with yer answers.

Be seein ya

Posted By: TEd Remington

Re: dook revu - 05/30/06 11:23 PM


Interesting letter. One that needs serious discussion in our liturgious world.

Posted By: Faldage

Re: dook revu - 05/31/06 08:43 AM


"our liturgious world."

Nice word, TEd, and so timely. A portmanteau?
Posted By: mabbogtebby

Re: dook revu - 05/31/06 11:49 AM

bear teb & falbage
let da bedate degin
i say shes intitleb 2 doth
wibows pension & besserteb wifes
dring it on
b f n c n u l8r g8r
mabbogtebby X
Posted By: GallantTed

Bullytin - 02/22/07 02:39 AM

Howye fokes! How is things? I’ll tell ye, all us poor Teds is tryen ta do is ta heel the world by keepen the greenhouse gasses down and if them cows won’t make any admissions fer their emmissions all I can do is keep exploiten them fer the dang dung flingers what they are. As fer the abuse what they’re hurlen at a poor innocint Teds just take a look at the letter below. MadDogTed is haven nonea it fer sure.

Hay Ted

You good for nothing flea bag. Who do you effin think you are writen that load of bullocks about how the cattle community is responsible for global warming? And what’s the big effin idea about insulting my girls, especially poor Harriet who wrote to you in an effort to defend our kin and kine? My girls are so upset at your attitude that many of them are refusing to eat, scared in case the world will abruptly end as soon as they put the next scrap in to their gobs. But worst of effin all, many of them are refusing me my conjugal rights, scared to bring any more destructive calves into the world. And where does that leave me, Teddyboy? Bull effin idle – that’s where.

I’ve been looking forward to a roll in the hay with Harriet Heffer for weeks now and I’m warning you, Buster, if you don’t apologise at once I’d advise you to dust down your togs cos you’ll be going swimming in the slurry pit very soon.

Signed: Billy Big Ones

hay urself dilly dig 1s

us tebs gnow where u f n liv
& if u bon’t shut da f up
we will senb da doys round 4 2 have ur f n hed on a plate
& all ur f n gnobbly dits 2 doot
so enuff a ur f n guff dig doy
unless ur tinken a shortnen ur name 2 just dilly

b f n c n u l8r g8r

sined mabbogtebby X
Posted By: BranShea

Re: Bullytin - 03/06/07 08:49 PM

See you're still up to your ears in cows and bull's domestic affairs. ( Hadn't seen this one at all yet.Are you keeping on to this thread now? Good to know ).
Posted By: GallantTed

Friday the 13th - 04/17/07 12:13 AM

Howye fokes! How is things?

Last Friday the 13th I awoke up ta the sun bursten through the winda and I decided that it were high time fer me ta dust down me summer gear. But as soon as I opened the wardrobe door I was furociously attacked and haff eaten alive by a hoard a starven moths. Lookily, Albear Camoo herd me screems and after the fierce fight what enscewed we managed hobble ta safety. We was fierce traumatized fer sure, but we bravely managed ta get inta the trook and drive ta the hospital fer ta get stitched up.

Well, there we was booten it down the road when suddenly Mr Slasher’s Auntie Maud appeared outta nowhere and started ta flag us down. Albear hit the breaks fer sure, but unlookily they failed and we ploughed straight inta the poor woman, knocken her out stone cold. So we rang Mr Slasher with the terrable news and asked him fer ta come fer ta bring us all ta the hospital. He sed he couldn’t understand what Auntie Maud was doen walken the roads cos she had just been discharged that mornen from the hospital with a cleen billa health and had told him not ta worry cos she’d arranged a lift home.

Anyways, we waited and waited haff ded in the roasten heat fer Mr Slasher ta arrive. When he finally came we got the shocka our lives cos his face was all swelled up and his tongue, what was the size offa turnip, was rollen all over the place in and outta his mouth. Anyways, we managed ta get the gist a what happened ta him - somethin ta do with that gallopen trollop, Goldilocks, snaggen her nylons on a nail stook in one a the bar-stools, a ladder subsequently appearen on the sed nylons, a bee flyen under the sed ladder, a shot-glass suddenly fallen from nowhere on toppa the sed bee, the hysterical bee flyen inta Mr Slasher’s open gob and stingen the daylights outta it.

Lookily, all’s well what ends well and eventually we all got the medical attention we needed and arrived home, fierce quiet but feelen a biteen better in ourselves. Meself and Albear Camoo went straight ta see MadDogTed in case he was worried about where we was all day. Well, we found him still in bed fast asleep oblivious ta all the goens on. He was clutchen his looky rabbit's foot in one little paw and a note in the other. The note sed:

tings 4 2 do on fri 13
1 tell gteb 2 get sum mot spray cos i saw 1 n his room da burty duggers
2 tell aldear camoo 4 2 fix his drakes cos dey is not worken
3 colleck ant maud from da hostipal
4 tell mr slasher 2 remove da nale wot i put in his dar stool 4 2 c if its reel oak btw its not
5 set alarm 4 2 get up early

Well, we was too week fer ta batter the liven daylights outta him - even while he slept - and when he eventually awoke up and found out that his alarm never went off and he’d slept through the hole day, he hugged his looky rabbit’s foot in delight and sed “Is Friday the 13th me looky day or what!”

Be seein ya

Posted By: BranShea

Re: Friday the 13th - 04/17/07 05:00 AM

You had your lucky day writing this one, the oversea's Supporters Society will love it.
Posted By: GallantTed

Re: Friday the 13th - 06/30/07 01:57 PM

Howye fokes! How is things? Inspired by the the success of Albear Camoos’s furst racy novel "A Bad Hare Day", MadDogTed decided ta have go at writen somethin in the Chick Lit vane fer himself, and his little offeren called "John with the Wind" is all about a weather cock called John what finds it hard ta find love cos he’s stook on toppa the barn and never gets ta meet anyone and, as a result takes ta overdosen on beans fer ta fill the emotional void inside a him. Subsequently he gets a pernamint dose a the flatulince what grately effects his work cos he’s never quite sure which way the wind does be blowen and ends up haven ta rely on his bunions fer ta predict the weather.

But then he meets the love a his life, Muriel the bat, what flies inta his life and she buys him some corn plasters fer his burthday and cures his bunions. A course, this means he can no longer forcast the weather cos as a token a her affections, Muriel just loves ta feed him beans and so he still hasn’t a clue which way the wind does be goen. Anyways, as a result dosen’t he lose his job and our pair a love burds end up bitter, twisted, fly-by-night renegades what spend the resta a their lives on the rampage, brutally gorgen the eyes outta any weathermen what crosses their path and violently knocken the heds offa any Child a Prague what gets in their way.

Basically, ya could say the the two a them completely lose the plot, which is really what MadDogTed’s furst attempt at a romantic novel does from the very furst word what he wrote. Fer that reason, ya can imagine me surprise when he told me that he’d actually found a publisher fer his odious opus. And when I sed that his novel didn’t quite embrace the sugary romantic essince a what Chick Lit is all about he sed, “Chick Lit, me f n arse, it’s Sick Lit what I do be writen, fer sure!” And I’ll tell ye fokes, there’s no better Ted fer the job.

Be seein ya

Posted By: Faldage

Re: Friday the 13th - 06/30/07 04:11 PM

Non gallum eges ut scias e quo parte flat ventus
Posted By: mabbogtebby

vikings - 03/04/10 11:16 PM

bear foaks

word on da street has it dat
me pal gallantteb is worken 4 da vikings
hes teechen them how 2 b speeken
da english and everythin
chapter 5

i meself is shocked & horryfied @ such low standards
y dib dey not cum 2 me 4 guidince

now 4 u falbage
dats where ur f n latin does b getten u


b f n c n u l8r g8r

mabbogtebby X
Posted By: BranShea

Re: vikings - 03/05/10 04:28 PM

Mabbogtebby, could you ask Albear Camoo to see to that link?
It does not seem to work and it might contain important information.
Posted By: Albear Camoo

Re: vikings - 03/05/10 05:40 PM

Hi there

It's difficult to get the link to work. It's in SYSTIME - a Danish book company and the name of the book is "Spoken English" by Susanne Jørgensen. GTed is in Chapter 5.


Posted By: BranShea

Re: vikings - 03/05/10 06:12 PM

This one works well Camoo. It's a scroll down to page 31, and though some may argue GallantTed speaks no dialect but Teddialect it still is the same GallantTed we're talking about.
Posted By: Nancymac

Re: vikings - 05/05/12 08:38 PM

Hello young Madted!!! I was just sending a note to your furry pal Gallanted and I just couldn't leave you out. Love your work!!!!
Posted By: Jackie

Re: vikings - 05/06/12 02:00 AM

And yet another.
Posted By: LukeJavan8

Re: vikings - 05/06/12 02:46 PM

Had to laugh at this one. Yesterday when I opened these
two I was amazed at the cluelessness (my term) the threads
have been dead for months.
Posted By: Nancymac

Re: vikings - 05/06/12 04:49 PM

Gosh, I was just wondering what happened to GTed and co. They were very popular here once, but I suppose if all the posts are as unfriendly as the last 2, it's no wonder they left.

BTW, thanks for the warm welcome to a new member. I had plenty of ideas to contribute on all threads, not just the Teds' but I'm not sure if my knowledge/opinions will be welcome.

What a shame as if I recall correctly this site used to be so cool. I was a signed up member years ago but I have forgotten my details. Sadly,the standard and attitidus seem to have gone down.

As for the ted threads being dead for months - well they're alive and kicking now for sure.
Posted By: BranShea

Re: vikings - 05/06/12 06:36 PM

Hi Nancymac,
GallantTed, last post: 03/04/10. I really liked his quirky and crazy Ted tales. Your entrée is not much in the spirit of GT. People come and people go. Often they give no reason. I'm here since 2006 and never saw your name. Just send a PM to GallantTed and ask him yourself what happened.
Posted By: wofahulicodoc

long time no see - 05/06/12 07:33 PM

And welcome back. Don't take the first couple of comments as absolutely representative...

Did you go by a different nom back then?
Posted By: Nancymac

Re: long time no see - 05/06/12 08:19 PM

Thanks for both the info and welcome, Wofahulicodoc. Yes, I was here under a different name in the early "noughties" but can't recall my nom and have no idea of the password - they were given to you back then if I remember. Have lurked a bit since and enjoyed Ted and all the fun posts from other posters.

I've done a bit of research since last night and Ted may not be in or have anything to do with the up and coming movie "Ted" - but when I heard about it I just thought of the Teds.

Sorry if I got it wrong and especially sorry to the posters whom I may have upset with my brash assumptions. I am truly humbled by my cluelessness.
Posted By: Faldage

Re: long time no see - 05/06/12 09:06 PM

Count me as another one who always enjoyed the bears' posts. I am always happy when one or more of them come by to chat.
Posted By: Rhubarb Commando

Re: long time no see - 05/07/12 04:41 PM

Thank you, Nancymac, for disinterring this thread. I had totally gorgotten about the Tedsaga, which always amused me no end. I just spent a happy half-hour re-reading some of the old stuff.
Posted By: Nancymac

Re: long time no see - 12/25/12 12:06 AM

Ha! Ha! An oldie but and goody. Thanks GTed!
BTW, happy birthday to all the Teddy Bears everywhere who were delivered on this night.

FROM Christmas 2001:

Howye Fokes! How is things? Haven't been around fer a while. Ya see, I gots a job writen articals on drains and gargoyles and that sorta thing. Imagine me worken fer the Gutter Press - me Mammy is really proud.

Listen, on a more seroius note, did ye know that Santy is short of teddies this year? Well, ye do now!

After a tip off from Goldilocks didn't he orgenise a big huge raid on Slasher's - me local bar - ta round up all the Teds. I'll tell ya, the fight what enscewed was only terrable and ya can take it from Ted that that Rudolf fella won't be the only raindeer with a red nose this Christmas.

Anyways, lookily most of us managed ta escape but me pal MadDogTed is still missen. So I thought with it been Christmas and all that I better give ye all a fear warnen.

If MadDogTed ends up in yer Christmas stocken send him straight back ta Slashers Bar - IMMEDIATELY. He's a rear genwine Trouble and Streiff bear and he's not very domistikated, ya see. Don't try ta hug him. Don't put a silly bow on him. Don't call him MadDogTed ta his face and whatever ya do - DON'T take him ta bed with ya. Not if ya have any shame, that is.

Don't be fooled by his cute looks either (he's not half as cute as Ted, of course). Them close-set eyes are a ded give away but if yer still in doubt check his left ear fer a button earing in the shape of a half eaten S. If yer still not sure, look fer the "Made in Haste" label on his back. And if yer a bit thick and still haven't copped on, check that ya still have all yer fingers and that yer wallet is still where ya left it.

So ye have been warned - if ya get him from Santy send him back ta Slasher's with a few bottles of rum fer me troubles. I'll tell ye, me nerves are faught with the worry.

A Happy Christmas ta ye now.

Be seein ya

Posted By: LukeJavan8

Re: long time no see - 12/25/12 12:21 AM

Back at'ya!
Posted By: Rhubarb Commando

Re: long time no see - 12/25/12 11:35 AM

Great to hear you again, G'Ted! All the best to you and all other Teds, everywhere, in this season of good will and cheerfulness.
Posted By: BranShea

Re: long time no see - 12/25/12 12:23 PM

Best wishes to you GallantTed. Nice to hear you are in the main stream of things. smile If I happen to find mabbogtebby I wil send him back next Christmas. grin He will learn some ice skating and how to make windmills turn, just a matter of keep blowing, and walk on wooden shoes for whatever it's worth. He will be treated with utmost tact and respect. I know he is a bit off track most of time, but he never ever was a complainer nor a nagger. Slasher's will just have a peaceful year.

A Happy Christmas ta ye now too
Posted By: tsuwm

Re: long time no see - 12/26/12 05:23 PM

Rhuby/Bran, I don't know if ye noticed, but that greeting from GT was copied from a 2001 post!
Posted By: Rhubarb Commando

Re: long time no see - 12/26/12 06:33 PM

Ah ...! No, I had not noticed. Thanks you and praised be your compendious memory!
Posted By: BranShea

Re: long time no see - 12/27/12 12:30 PM

Thanks tsuwm. I'll keep in mind there is something askew with this MacNancy from now on.
Posted By: Nancymac

Re: long time no see - 12/27/12 03:26 PM

I didn't mean to confuse anyone. I did clearly state that it was from 2001 or there abouts. It was just so seasonal, that's all. I also like the muppets Christmas video which also is very funny and "cute and cuddley"
Sorry for the misunderstanding and I'm sorry that people think I'm askew whatever that's supposed to mean. Once again this site has made me feel very unwelcome.
Posted By: BranShea

Re: long time no see - 12/27/12 05:18 PM

That was not meant to be so at all. I think the thing is the confusion that you only appear very occasionally on this thread only and I thought one of us told you that GallantTed nor MadTed or any of the Teds is around here any more.
You're welcome but the person you adress yourself to is not active any more, here at least not. Everybody is welcome and so are you.
Just this confusion.
Posted By: jenny jenny

Re: long time no see - 12/27/12 05:34 PM

Now Nancymac, don't overreact. Yes, you properly indentified your post, and yes, your resurection of Maddog and Gallant Ted at Christmas was much inspired and perfectly in tune with the spirit of the season.

But alas, here we err...sometimes. But also, here we fight and have word games and fun with our Internet friends. We are only people, are you otherwise? smile
Posted By: Nancymac

Re: long time no see - 12/27/12 06:35 PM

Did I make a mistake? If so and if to err is human then I must be a person. But in answer to your question: no, I am not people.
Posted By: jenny jenny

Re: long time no see - 12/27/12 08:41 PM

laugh Very good, Nancymac. But my use of "otherwise" semantically includes (or excludes) the singular with the plural unless, of course, you renounce your place among others of your kind. Or were you just being a petulant pedant? smile

Really, Nancymac, most who post here are good folk. I am probably the worst of a well mannered lot and I am angelic.
Posted By: LukeJavan8

Re: long time no see - 12/27/12 09:18 PM

Indeed, Indeed. Angelic > Hear, Hear.
Posted By: maverick

Re: long time no see - 01/01/13 07:17 PM

Hi Nancymac

Allow a long-lost and similarly returned old hand to welcome you and any contribution you make to the board discussions smile

In pertickly, I loved the fact you revived the Ted-threds - some of the most genuinely creative writing on the whole board imho. ok, so mebbe Jackie hates it or something, but she hates Shakespeare so she's a lost cause... {eg}
Posted By: wofahulicodoc

Once upon a time... - 01/01/13 11:52 PM

...I was a Pooh-Bah, so let me paraphrase myself and say "I desire to associate myself with those expression of welcome!" (that's from Act II)

It's been a while, and it's good to hear from you all again!
Posted By: maverick

Re: Once upon a time... - 01/03/13 12:30 AM

Not quite certain who this was addressed to wofa, but hi and thanks if any part of the sentiment was to me! I'll assume it was cause you're a nice guy wink
Posted By: wofahulicodoc

Yes, you're one. And a Happy New Year besides - 01/03/13 04:27 AM

Yes. You're the most recent recidivist, and nancymac before ye, and rhuby even a while before that.

(I was going to title this "many happy returns" but decided it was too corny...) Anyway, welcome back to all !
Posted By: Avy

Re: Yes, you're one. And a Happy New Year besides - 01/03/13 04:36 AM

Oh wofa! I tried to create a 'welcome back' swifty and I could not come up with anything. There you go again being one step ahead of me creatively as always. Allow me to complete it: "Many happy returns!" Tom said, welcomingly.
Posted By: GallantTed

Re: Yes, you're one. And a Happy New Year besides - 06/02/17 02:27 AM

Hi all
Gallantted has his own blog. stuffwotmatters.blogspot.com
And he'd love all his old pals to check it out
Posted By: wofahulicodoc

Re: Yes, you're one. And a Happy New Year besides - 06/02/17 03:27 PM

Noted, and will share. smile
Posted By: LukeJavan8

Re: dook revu - 06/02/17 03:41 PM

Well. I'm not an old friend, but I checked it out..............whatever.
Posted By: wofahulicodoc

Re: dook revu - 06/02/17 03:48 PM

Sure y'are. Check your post #205715 - 05/06/12 02:46 PM above. You weren't too enthralled then, either ! wink
Posted By: LukeJavan8

Re: dook revu - 06/02/17 03:56 PM

I went back a few pages, and tried to follow the conversation. At this date seems pretty muddled.
And you've got it, I am still not too enthralled, but I thought I'd check it out. Did not recognize
any thing I wrote previously, probably not too impressed then either. But it sure wracked up a lot
of conversation at the time, didn't it?
Posted By: GallantTed

Re: dook revu - 06/02/17 11:20 PM

Thanks wofa.
Luke, it's great to see u still whatevering the Teds. Not much change there, then.
Posted By: LukeJavan8

Re: dook revu - 06/02/17 11:57 PM

Don't remember much of the conversation back then, even when reading all the responses.
But glad to see you back, don't be gone so long next time.
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