lost word - 03/30/04 10:54 AM
There is a word for "Telling people something nice someone else said about them so that they would say something nice about you". I have lost the word. Please help me find it.
Re: lost word - 03/30/04 05:07 PM
schmoozling ??
Re: lost word - 03/30/04 05:37 PM
pander?
From Amer. Heritage:
brownnose, cajole, fish, gratify, indulge, massage, please, politic, satisfy, snow, soap, soften up, spook, stroke
From Amer. Heritage:
brownnose, cajole, fish, gratify, indulge, massage, please, politic, satisfy, snow, soap, soften up, spook, stroke
Re: lost word - 03/30/04 09:41 PM
Thanks grapho, but I just found it.
I hunted him in old files...hidden treasure in AWAD archives!
trade-last : A compliment that a person has heard and offers to repeat to the one
complimented in exchange for a compliment made about oneself.
I hunted him in old files...hidden treasure in AWAD archives!
trade-last : A compliment that a person has heard and offers to repeat to the one
complimented in exchange for a compliment made about oneself.
Re: lost word - 03/30/04 10:45 PM
It's kinda odd though, don't you think raju. What would a person do, go up to someone and say, "hey Mary, Velma said you have nice hair" and then what, ask if Mary thinks the speaker has nice hair too.
Very confusing.
Very confusing.
Re: lost word - 03/30/04 11:37 PM
Date: Thu Jul 3 00:01:08 EDT 2003
Subject: A.Word.A.Day--trade-last
X-Bonus: The true civilization is where every man gives to every other every right that he claims for himself. -Robert Green Ingersoll, lawyer and orator (1833-1899)
trade-last (TRAYD-last) noun
A compliment that a person has heard and offers to repeat to the one
complimented in exchange for a compliment made about oneself.
[From trade + last.]
"A voluptuous brunette in a rose-pink dress and diamonds dragged her down
to the arm of her rocker.
`I got a trade-last for you, Myra.'"
Fannie Hurst (1889-1968); Summer Resources (short story).
"`I have a trade-last for you, Ida,' she said. `Mrs. Mallard is in the
library, discussing our club, and I heard mother say something awfully
nice about you.'
`Tell it!' demanded Lloyd.
`No, I said a trade-last.'
`Oh, fishing for a compliment!' sang Katie."
Annie Fellows Johnston (1863-1931); The Little Colonel at Boarding
Subject: A.Word.A.Day--trade-last
X-Bonus: The true civilization is where every man gives to every other every right that he claims for himself. -Robert Green Ingersoll, lawyer and orator (1833-1899)
trade-last (TRAYD-last) noun
A compliment that a person has heard and offers to repeat to the one
complimented in exchange for a compliment made about oneself.
[From trade + last.]
"A voluptuous brunette in a rose-pink dress and diamonds dragged her down
to the arm of her rocker.
`I got a trade-last for you, Myra.'"
Fannie Hurst (1889-1968); Summer Resources (short story).
"`I have a trade-last for you, Ida,' she said. `Mrs. Mallard is in the
library, discussing our club, and I heard mother say something awfully
nice about you.'
`Tell it!' demanded Lloyd.
`No, I said a trade-last.'
`Oh, fishing for a compliment!' sang Katie."
Annie Fellows Johnston (1863-1931); The Little Colonel at Boarding
Re: lost word - 03/30/04 11:49 PM
Ah, so the person just up and asks for a compliment. Sheesh, a little vain, no? My initial reaction to somebody saying that to me would be, "have you lost your mind?"
the toll in extol - 03/31/04 07:11 AM
Ah, so the person just up and asks for a compliment.
Yeah, pretty much like asking a person if you can use them as a reference in a job application or resume, belMarduk.
"Trade-last" does take all the sport out of it. It turns "fishing for a compliment" into a commercial transaction.
Another meaning of pandering [in criminal law] is "whoring".
When you get right down to it, it's hard to put a good spin on "sucking up".
"Trade-last" is just calling reciprocal trade in praise what it really is. At least, it's value neutral.
It's the toll in extol.
What is won with false praise is lost with false favor.
Yeah, pretty much like asking a person if you can use them as a reference in a job application or resume, belMarduk.
"Trade-last" does take all the sport out of it. It turns "fishing for a compliment" into a commercial transaction.
Another meaning of pandering [in criminal law] is "whoring".
When you get right down to it, it's hard to put a good spin on "sucking up".
"Trade-last" is just calling reciprocal trade in praise what it really is. At least, it's value neutral.
It's the toll in extol.
What is won with false praise is lost with false favor.
Re: lost word - 03/31/04 08:45 AM
My initial reaction to somebody saying that to me would be, "have you lost your mind?"
>>That's precisely what I thought when I came across the word for the first time, but unfortunately I met someone with a lost mind a couple of days back. There are people who do that! There's no dearth of people who have lost their minds - which is obvious from the fact that there's a word for this kind of (can irritating be innocuous?) behavior :)
>>That's precisely what I thought when I came across the word for the first time, but unfortunately I met someone with a lost mind a couple of days back. There are people who do that! There's no dearth of people who have lost their minds - which is obvious from the fact that there's a word for this kind of (can irritating be innocuous?) behavior :)
Re: lost word - 03/31/04 01:03 PM
Really raju? Seriously, every day I am surprised by what people do. It looks like an arcane word, so I was assuming this type of thing didn't happen anymore.
Anybody who would ask me that would probably walk away more frustrated than pleased. After the "have you lost your mind" I'm sure I'd burst our laughing. It's just so hilarious.
What did you say when the person asked raju? Didja manage to come up with something suitable?
Anybody who would ask me that would probably walk away more frustrated than pleased. After the "have you lost your mind" I'm sure I'd burst our laughing. It's just so hilarious.
What did you say when the person asked raju? Didja manage to come up with something suitable?
Re: lost word - 04/01/04 03:07 PM
`Oh, fishing for a compliment!' sang Katie."
Now that's a phrase I know and understand.
The most common and blatant (is that the right word?) way to fish for a compliment is toask "How do I look?"
Another way is one I used blatantly (exactly the right word)
when I told one and all on Feb 1oth that it was my 75th birthday. I was fishing for the compliment that goes : " You're kidding! You sure don't look it!"
Quite different from a "tade-last I think. ??
Now that's a phrase I know and understand.
The most common and blatant (is that the right word?) way to fish for a compliment is toask "How do I look?"
Another way is one I used blatantly (exactly the right word)
when I told one and all on Feb 1oth that it was my 75th birthday. I was fishing for the compliment that goes : " You're kidding! You sure don't look it!"
Quite different from a "tade-last I think. ??
Biting - 04/01/04 03:12 PM
Well, wow, I can tell you this--you are one neat lady, and I'm privileged to know you! [HUG]
Re: lost word - 04/01/04 08:57 PM
Didja manage to come up with something suitable?
>>I did say
I'd rather die
Than speak a lie
>>I did say
I'd rather die
Than speak a lie
Re: lost word - 04/01/04 09:06 PM
Sometimes, wow, people fish for a compliment using the bait of self-belittlement. One of the most common being reference to past "I used to look quite good during undergraduate" expecting "You're still ravishing". How would you treat such anglers?
Re: lost word - 04/01/04 11:00 PM
I'd say it depends raju.
If the person is looking melancholy and needs a quick pick-me-up, then compliment away.
If the person is a fun-loving sort with a good sense of humour, you can always say "Really??? What happened?"
If it's somebody you don't particularly care about, I'd say nothing.
If the person is looking melancholy and needs a quick pick-me-up, then compliment away.
If the person is a fun-loving sort with a good sense of humour, you can always say "Really??? What happened?"
If it's somebody you don't particularly care about, I'd say nothing.
Re: lost word - 04/02/04 12:31 AM
well said Bel- and that's some deserved compliment!
Re: lost word - 04/02/04 05:17 PM
"I used to look quite good during undergraduate" expecting "You're still ravishing". How would you treat such anglers?
I will opt for the pleasantry as it may just be that it is needed. Heaven knows we all need a pick-me-up now and then.
I will opt for the pleasantry as it may just be that it is needed. Heaven knows we all need a pick-me-up now and then.