During a chat in the hall, a co-worker asked for examples of insults that don't refer to originally neutral things. For example, why is "You cow" so insulting? There's nothing essentially wrong with cows, or with various body parts; bitches and bastards aren't actually rotten or evil. I came up with jerk, but that wasn't insulting enough. Ditto for rotter. So - what is an insult that really insults?
Have a field day - I promise not to be offended, no matter what names you throw my way.

You turkey!

You dog!

Milksop!

Pirate varmint!

Lily-livered coward!

Pusillanimous buzzard breath!

Bottom feeder!

Slime!

...but the best of the insulters are found among Shakespearean characters--the bard has long lists of terrific insults. I know none of them by heart.

Bad remarks,
WantonWords

That reminds me of a Winston Churchill story

Whilst at some extremely posh function WC was indulging in his usual heroic consumption
of brandy and weaving around the place a bit , upon seeing this the hostess Lady
something-or -other strolled up to WC
and said loudly and disapprovingly "YOU SIR ARE DRUNK!" to which WC replied "AND YOU
MADAM ARE UGLY BUT I WILL BE SOBER IN THE MORNING"

the Duncster

but the best of the insulters are found among Shakespearean characters--the bard has long lists of terrific insults

Actually, as I recall, the bard was rather tame by the standards of his day, and some of his contemporaries were much more creative in their invective.

Can't quite recall who were examples (Ben Jonson?); can anyone help?

In a review, Dorothy Parker once panned a stage performance by the great Katherine Hepburn saying that "Her performance ran all the gamut of emotions from A to B."

Combine one word from each of the three columns below, prefaced
> with "Thou":
> Column 1 Column 2 Column 3
>
> artless base-court apple-john
> bawdy bat-fowling baggage
> beslubbering beef-witted barnacle
> bootless beetle-headed bladder
> churlish boil-brained boar-pig
> cockered clapper-clawed bugbear
> clouted clay-brained bum-bailey
> craven common-kissing canker-blossom
> currish crook-pated clack-dish
> dankish dismal-dreaming clotpole
> dissembling dizzy-eyed coxcomb
> droning doghearted codpiece
> errant dread-bolted death-token
> fawning earth-vexing dewberry
> fobbing elf-skinned flap-dragon
> froward fat-kidneyed flax-wench
> frothy fen-sucked flirt-gill
> gleeking flap-mouthed foot-licker
> goatish fly-bitten fustilarian
> gorbellied folly-fallen giglet
> impertinent fool-born gudgeon
> infectious full-gorged haggard
> jarring guts-griping harpy
> loggerheaded half-faced hedge-pig
> lumpish hasty-witted horn-beast
> mammering hedge-born hugger-mugger
> mangled hell-hated jolthead
> mewling idle-headed lewdster
> paunchy ill-breeding lout
> pribbling ill-nurtured maggot-pie
> puking knotty-pated malt-worm
> puny milk-livered mammet
> quailing motley-minded measle
> rank onion-eyed minnow
> reeky plume-plucked miscreant
> roguish pottle-deep moldwarp
> ruttish pox-marked mumble-news
> saucy reeling-ripe nut-hook
> spleeny rough-hewn pigeon-egg
> spongy rude-growing pignut
> surly rump-fed puttock
> tottering shard-borne pumpion
> unmuzzled sheep-biting ratsbane
> vain spur-galled scut
> venomed swag-bellied skainsmate
> villainous tardy-gaited strumpet
> warped tickle-brained varlet
> wayward toad-spotted vassal
> weedy urchin-snouted whey-face
> yeasty weather-bitten wagtail

http://www.renfaire.com/Language/insults.html

Thank you, slithy! I was just gonna ask if anyone had a link to those.

I must be dazed or something here, but I don't count three columns in the insulting list.

Do I need my eyes checked?

Stary-eyed,
OrB~

try the link instead; it doesn't copy well unless you use preformatting.

try the link instead; it doesn't copy well unless you use preformatting.

Yeah, OB~. Like that tottering knotty-pated mumble-news said.

I must be dazed or something here, but I don't count three columns in the insulting list.

Dern WordWind, must you be so literal? What Slithy Slove was saying was...

Insults should never be original. They must be clearly understood by the in-group, otherwise they fall flat in their effect.
I think.

Attempting here to format slithy's columns, as tsuwm suggested. The merit here belongs solely to slithy; I'm merely the scrivener.

   Combine one word from each of the three columns below, prefaced
   with "Thou":
           Column 1         Column 2             Column 3
  
           artless          base-court           apple-john
           bawdy            bat-fowling          baggage
           beslubbering     beef-witted          barnacle
           bootless         beetle-headed        bladder
           churlish         boil-brained         boar-pig
           cockered         clapper-clawed       bugbear
           clouted          clay-brained         bum-bailey
           craven           common-kissing       canker-blossom
           currish          crook-pated          clack-dish
           dankish          dismal-dreaming      clotpole
           dissembling      dizzy-eyed           coxcomb
           droning          doghearted           codpiece
           errant           dread-bolted         death-token
           fawning          earth-vexing         dewberry
           fobbing          elf-skinned          flap-dragon
           froward          fat-kidneyed         flax-wench
           frothy           fen-sucked           flirt-gill
           gleeking         flap-mouthed         foot-licker
           goatish          fly-bitten           fustilarian
           gorbellied       folly-fallen         giglet
           impertinent      fool-born            gudgeon
           infectious       full-gorged          haggard
           jarring          guts-griping         harpy
           loggerheaded     half-faced           hedge-pig
           lumpish          hasty-witted         horn-beast
           mammering        hedge-born           hugger-mugger
           mangled          hell-hated           jolthead
           mewling          idle-headed          lewdster
           paunchy          ill-breeding         lout
           pribbling        ill-nurtured         maggot-pie
           puking           knotty-pated         malt-worm
           puny             milk-livered         mammet
           quailing         motley-minded        measle
           rank             onion-eyed           minnow
           reeky            plume-plucked        miscreant
           roguish          pottle-deep          moldwarp
           ruttish          pox-marked           mumble-news
           saucy            reeling-ripe         nut-hook
           spleeny          rough-hewn           pigeon-egg
           spongy           rude-growing         pignut
           surly            rump-fed             puttock
           tottering        shard-borne          pumpion
           unmuzzled        sheep-biting         ratsbane
           vain             spur-galled          scut
           venomed          swag-bellied         skainsmate
           villainous       tardy-gaited         strumpet
           warped           tickle-brained       varlet
           wayward          toad-spotted         vassal
           weedy            urchin-snouted       whey-face
           yeasty           weather-bitten       wagtail
-- 

milum muses Insults should never be original. They must be clearly understood by the in-group, otherwise they fall flat in their effect.

if brains were gasoline you wouldn't have sufficient to drive once around a cheerio on a moped.



http://home.mn.rr.com/wwftd/

Ooooooh, that sounded suspiciously like a gauntlet being thrown. You guys picked your seconds yet? This I gotta see.

tsuwm, when Mark Twain's wife -- attempting to cure him of swearing -- repeated his own invective back at him, Twain calmly replied: "You have the words, dear, but you lack the tune."

wwh (Dr. Bill) says: That reminds me of a Winston Churchill story... But it is signed: the Duncster

Hey...you two sharing the same brain today? I know men are half wits, but you two together don't make a whole wit! [ducking for cover in the spirit of the thread-e]

The quality of insult is not strained.

--Jonathan Swift

weird insults...


You heavyweight crock of greasy vulture gizzards.
You sterile assortment of congealed hamster droppings.
You grotesque basin of fornicating carrion.
You illiterate gob of seething camel hairs.
You bad breathed wheelbarrow-full of soppy weasel warts.
You dumb excuse for moth-eaten Wookie hair.
You saucy shovel-full of malignant rodent droppings.
You glutinous plethora of radioactive cancerous anal polyps.
You outrageous bunch of embarrassing sweat-socks.
You dismal heap of manky dog urine.
You uncultivated cake of noxious dirty underwear.
You crotchety descendant of mealy lizard bums.
You heavy-duty flob of petrified rubbish.
You dirty toilet-full of cheesy toad tumors.
You brutish mountain of imitation chicken waste.
You psychotic skip of fungus-covered slime-mould.
You perfidious chunk of fly-covered fish lips.
You undignified ball of vile carp guts.
You superficial tub of mutilated bug parts.
You pea-brained pool of fusty zit squeezings.
You vile drum of rancid sludge.
You useless bucket of fermenting frog fat.
You inhuman bag of gross rotting vegetation.
You idiotic apology for dirty sweaty socks.
You selfish cesspit-full of sun-ripened ass hairs.
You boorish sack of wormy ape puke.
You whiney pot of decayed whale waste.
You opinionated accumulation of old cat furballs.
You spotty cup of synthetic skunk waste.
You goofy lorryload of cute parrot droppings.
You insulting sliver of sloppy athlete's foot scrapings.
You blundering crate of dusky toe jam.
You pompous swamp of moldy sweaty jockstraps.
You obese collection of ancient rectal hair.

The one highlighted in bold is my favorite. I mean, what could someone possibly say back to you if you say that to them? They might even say "thank you" for it!

I usually use shithead or a pismire. Sometimes I'll say coprocephalic imbecile. My kids call each other coprolites.


In recent years I've begun to ponder the question Mr Sammler asked, "Who made shit a sacrament?"


Frau Edie told us one of the worst things you could call someone in German was "eine sau," a sow. Apparently it has some sexual connotations.


During cultural revolution in PRC a big insult was son of a dog. My wife told me that one way to insult another person was to tell him you were his grandfather. Both of these seem pretty mild and I wonder if she is sheltering me from the really juicy stuff.


k

re:one way to insult another person was to tell him you were his grandfather. Both of these seem pretty mild and I wonder if she is sheltering me from the really juicy stuff.

I dunno, i have had sexist managers, younger than me, call me "Young Lady" (in a certain tone of voice..) and let me tell you , it was very clear they were being insulted.

in past years, Blacks, in this country, no matter what there age, where insultingly called "Boy".

if i claim to be your grandfather, i am claiming more prestige, and claiming i should be ranked higher.. (and if i am a street sweeper, or other lowly person,or just younger than you) that could be insulting.

It's no insult to call a char woman "a lady", but in the movie, Mrs. Brown, the court was shocked when Mr. Brown called the queen "Woman!"

words are used to define status, and if i verbal lower your status, i have insulted you!

call a doctor by his first name (HI Dr Bill!) you are informal. but call a doctor Dr. Quack! and you are insulting!

insults vary depending on context. You can be as wise an an owl, or bird brain.. as strong as an ox, or as dumb as one! Except in Animal Farm, i can't think of anywhere, where pigs came out on top!--

if brains were gasoline you wouldn't have sufficient to drive once around a cheerio on a moped.-tsuwm

Boy-Hidie, When goodbuddy tsuwm conjured up the audacity to direct this insult, one of the oldest in the book, to me,
who is The Milum, I got so mad I wanted to spit.

So I did. Then I furtively searched Slithy's Famous Three Column list for just the ever-so-apt invective in order to vent my spleen...

Mmmmmm...swag bellied is good...yeah but I do so much like toad spotted, still...Pig nut! Yes Pig nut! It is so, so, tsuwm... but then again it's just not...

Finally I became so exasperated I stood up, flicked a limp wrist in what I percieve as tsuwm's direction and screamed...

"Damn you, tsuwm!... you...you...you... big bruiser!"

And then I gave him the finger.

Actually®©™¿°, jerk is very insulting.

If an insult is a disparagement, then is an outsult a compliment?

hey everyone; check out badass milum! he's so cool that the worst punishment possible would be to end up on his s*list. tread lightly, because he has an itchy finger, and would much rather tell all and sundry that he used it than spend the time to cobble together a well-written, witty or entertaining retort.

a well-written, witty or entertaining retort.

Your nose is big. so there

oooh, Faldage! <steam rising> I'm gonna have to break out the alphabetical insult again, for you.

http://home.mn.rr.com/wwftd/

what is an insult that really insults?

An effective insult must fit the situation. No prefabricated phrase, just dropped into place, can have the same effect as an insult crafted to the lock onto the victim's indivuality. [cross-threading: another recent thread made the same point, in another context]

Disraeli once described the manner of Bishop Wilberforce as "unctuous, oleaginous, saponaceous." And the good prelate was ever afterward known as Soapy Sam. For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His enemies have only to find it. -- Ambrose Bierce, Devil's Dictionary

i can't think of anywhere, where pigs came out on top!--

Helen, how quickly you forgot the Useless Knowledge Thread in Miscellany: 4. A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (I want to be a pig.)

http://wordsmith.org/board/showthreaded.pl?Cat=&Board=miscellany&Number=59284&page=&view=&sb=&vc=1

Hey lady? You got Cranial Rectumus or something?

Angel, you are so right! if its true, i wouldn't mind coming back as pig.

troy says, I wouldn't mind coming back as pig.
Isn't the word "back" superfluous?

almost the entire list has been shown to pure and utter BS
Might that be just a bit of an exaggeration, Max? Besides, you've got to admit that Angel's pig-tale, true or not, was fun. To pararphase Ogden Nash,
Though some may say your heart is big,
I think you're jealous of the pig.

[Edit: P.S.: me too! ]

Me three!

hmmmmmm ... perhaps this explains why Hollywood's Kevin Bacon is so popular among the ladies?

and gives new and deep meaning to the phrase "ham it up".

...why Hollywood's Kevin Bacon is so popular among the ladies?

Well, he did cause a few Tremors, and he's known to be Footloose!

in light of the fact that almost every other statement on that list has been thoroughly debunked.

Yes, Max...but can you actually debunk the dialectic if there's no real evidence against it?is there the shadow of an insult here in keeping with the theme of the thread?-e

the length of the sow's orgasm has increased significantly

I hereby record that I am distinctly in favor of anything that significantly increases length.

the length of the sow's orgasm has increased significantly

I hereby record that I am distinctly in favor of anything that significantly increases length.


Duration, too...

If an insult is a disparagement, then is an outsult a compliment?

All depends on whether you're saying it to your in-laws or your outlaws.

I have this screaming urge to point out that Faldage's faux insult to tsuwm is straight out of Rostand (1897).

no apologies to Steve Martin